Sometimes There’s Treasure Beneath The Velcro Rollers

Right off the bat I feel like I need to mention that I went to see Paul Blart, Mall Cop 2 at the movie theatre this afternoon.

I don’t even know what to say. I almost never go to the movie. But somehow in the last month I’ve found myself sitting in the SpongeBob Sponge Out of Water movie and now Paul Blart, Mall Cop 2, and while I guess it’s good that I’m going to the picture show again, I’m not sure why I’m letting myself get talked into seeing ALL THE WORST ONES.

There’s a 5th grader in this house who doesn’t have any complaints, though.

And shockingly, despite the fact that I never saw the first Paul Blart movie, I was in fact able to follow along with the sequel. I don’t think I missed any subtle nuances in the narrative or anything like that, mainly because Paul Blart just sort of ran into things and fell down a lot. There were some parts where I actually laughed out loud, but I won’t give anything away because SPOILERS. I would hate to think that I took away even a second’s enjoyment from the plot’s intricate twists and turns.

For the record, Alex Hudson laughed for a solid minute after the bird fight.

Clearly we are doing everything we can to instill in him a certain level of culture and sophistication.

But really, I can’t even think much about the movie right now because I have THE MOST EXCITING NEWS.

Some of you may remember that a few weeks ago I posted something on Instagram about the demise of my most favorite hair clip in the whole wide world. I was just about to make the drive from my hometown back to Birmingham when it quite literally fell apart, and I was so moved by the years we’d shared together that I felt the need to memorialize it.

I knew that a clippy of its caliber would be difficult if not impossible to find, and I tried to make my peace with the fact that most modern-day clippies are either much smaller or much larger. I made do with a very small clippy when I got home that night, and then the next day I picked up a possible clippy replacement in Publix.

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They were fine – at first. The clip part was actually a good size and seemed to hold my hair pretty well, but I realized after an hour or so that the clips were top-heavy and hurt after a while. They’d flop over and cause the prongs to poke my scalp a little bit, and while there are few things I enjoy in life as much as pulling my bangs off of my face at the end of a long day, I do not in fact wish to sustain a minor head injury in the process. I think this is reasonable.

So. For the last three or so weeks, the top-heavy clippies and I have been trying to get along. I come home in the afternoons and pull my hair off of my face – but inevitably I’m yanking the clippy out of my hair by suppertime. Because I don’t know if I mentioned it but PRONGS.

Well.

Tonight I’ve been packing for my trip to Houston (I fly out late tomorrow afternoon), and just about an hour ago I was digging through my bathroom drawers, trying to find a plastic something-or-other to hold just the tiniest bit of my foundation so I don’t have to pack the whole bottle. I looked through my two main make-up drawers, and I decided on a lark to go through the drawer where I keep velcro rollers. I hardly open that drawer at all because I haven’t used velcro rollers regularly in about seven years, but I still hold on to the rollers because you never know when you might be faced with a hair emergency that only velcro rollers can fix. I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE, OKAY?

I was just about to close the drawer when I spotted what I thought was a familiar looking logo towards the back, and as I pulled it out from under the rollers and realized what it was, I found myself fighting the temptation to, you know, SQUEAL.

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OLD SCHOOL CLIPPIES.

Seriously. All I could do was think of that verse from Psalms that says (and I’m paraphrasing), Many, O LORD, are the wonders you have done, were I to name them I could not count them all.

Not that I was being dramatic or anything like that. Oh, heavens no. But can I just remind you one more time about something?

OLD SCHOOL CLIPPIES!

I couldn’t wait to see if they were everything I remembered. I had already taken one of the newer clippies out of my hair because, well, PRONGS, so I tried one of the old school clippies and y’all, it was like coming home. It’s lightweight, the hinge is solid, and it holds my bangs in place just beautifully.

The best part? I still have two back-ups! Should this clippy be unable to fulfill its duties and responsibilities, there is a first AND a second alternate ready to take its place.

I’m considering locking the alternates in a vault or at the very least a fire safe. It just makes good sense to take care of your valuables, you know?

So that’s pretty much my Sunday afternoon in a nutshell: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 and an unexpected supply of old school clippies. The movie was just okay, but the clippies get two thumbs up from me.

Five stars.

HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

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Turning That April 15th Frown Upside Down

I’ve had a running list in my head all day long. I am happy to share it with you at this juncture. Also, I am so sorry that said list did not appear in my head in the form of connected paragraphs.

– The other day Alex asked me if I knew the reciprocal of 1/2. Much to my surprise, I blurted out “2/1″ and then wondered what in the world had happened. Alex couldn’t believe I knew the answer. NEITHER COULD I. But I’ve thought a lot about it and am sort of curious to know if there are other random math tidbits lodged way down in the recesses of my brain. DOES THIS MEAN I STILL KNOW HOW TO FACTOR?

– Last night I went to my friend Pat’s book club. A group of women from my church started the book club back in 2006, and they are such dedicated, thoughtful readers. The English teacher in me could have listened to them talk about their favorite books all night long. Their April book was Home is Where My People Are, which was so very kind of them, and for our dinner they made the recipes that Tyndale sent out in the pre-order incentive. IT WAS THE MOST FUN. I didn’t get home until almost 10, and that is a big night out considering that I am person who is typically in pajamas by 5:30 in the afternoon.

Anyway, I say all of that to tell you that in the next few days you’ll be able to find book club discussion questions on the HIWMPA blog page. I hope they’ll be helpful!

– The new NEEDTOBREATHE live album is so good that it makes me teary-eyed. I am a huge fan of their studio albums, but there’s never been one (in my opinion) that came even remotely close to the thrill of seeing them live. This new album – Live from the Woods – beautifully captures what a unique experience it is to listen to them live. It’s FANTASTIC.

– Next week I’m speaking at BLOOM at Crossroads Baptist in The Woodlands, Texas. Here’s the info if you live somewhere nearby; I would love to see some of y’all there! I’m looking forward to a great night-o-laughter-and-fun.

Lifeway Postcard for Sophie Hudson

– This is a great post by Sarah Mae: “Choosing to Wake Up to My Own Life.” Such good perspective for when we’re feeling bogged down in the day-to-day.

– And if you’ve made it this far, here is your reward. Just because I love it (and y’all, too), I’m giving away five (5) copies of NEEDTOBREATHE’s new live album. So if you’d like to enter to win, leave a comment on this post. I’ll close comments sometime Friday afternoon and draw for winners then.

TAKE THAT, TAXES.

WE’LL SHOW YOU.

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