Before Christmas D. and I went to our hometown to celebrate the holidays with his family. Since their family fiesta was on a Saturday, we went to dinner that Friday night with my mama and daddy. My aunt and uncle were along for the ride, too.
For some reason, when we were trying to decide where to go, it became very clear that we had to have fried catfish, and that means, at least in parts of Mississippi, that you head to “the fish camp.”
But the fish camp isn’t really the story here. Yes, it took forever to get there, and yes, the fish was delicious, and yes, they served us sweet tea in glasses that held AT LEAST 48 oz. of liquid. There were a few too many cats on the premises for my comfort, because I think the only reason a restaurant would have so many cats around would be to CATCH ALL THE RATS, but other than that, a fine time was had by all on hand.
We had a fairly uneventful ride home; it was mostly filled with updates on people in our hometown. But when we got back to my aunt’s house - oh, did the fun ever start then.
I will stop here to offer some critical background information.
My mama is a Terribly Southern woman. She does not go to the grocery store without having her hair fixed, her make-up done, and a well-coordinated ensemble on her back. I was nineteen before I saw her sit down for any extended period of time. For most of my life, she has been on her feet, cooking and cleaning and basically creating a lovely home for her husband and children. If she heard that your third cousin’s nephew had a death in his wife’s family, she would bake them a pound cake.
But as she’s gotten into her seventh decade, she’s loosened up a bit, as well she should. She naps - sometimes for hours - in her chair, she’ll stay in her (matching) pajamas for an entire day, and she’s way more relaxed than she used to be. I think you’re going to be really, exceedingly grateful for that last change when you read the rest of the story.
Okay. Back to it.
My aunt (C.) has an SUV with a third seat in the back, and that’s where she and Mama were sitting. When we got back to C.’s house, we all filed out of the SUV, and D. stayed nearby so he could help with the unloading process.
So Mama and C. were getting out of the truck, which required squeezing between seats and then ducking down low enough to step out. Mama was first, and C. was right behind her.
Mama got tickled because she sort of got wedged in between the seat and the door with her behind way up in the air, and while D. was grabbing her hand, he laughingly said, “Are you gonna make it? Don’t toot!” and Mama got so tickled and D. was tickled and C. was tickled and I was tickled, but D. continued to pull on her arm to help her out of the truck.
And y’all, my mama tooted. She did. Right in her sister’s face.
Not like a little “polite” one. It was something akin to the sound of a freight train, warning you to Please Get Out Of The Way before it comes barrelling through your home.
It was almost like D. called it into being.
I literally wet my pants. D. had to sit down on C.’s retaining wall, and I thought he was going to quit breathing altogether - that’s how hard he was gasping for air. C. understandably scooted away from Mama and found a perch at the end of the seat, holding her side while she tried to catch her breath.
Mama fell back on her end of the car seat and said, “WHEW! Oh, D., I’ve been holding that in the whole ride home!”
Even as I type this, I am crying from laughing so hard.
About ten minutes later, when we finally composed ourselves, D. and I were driving about a block over to pick up Alex from my mother-in-law’s house. D. could hardly drive - he was still CONVULSING with laughter.
And when I could pick up the words that were muffled beneath the laughter, here is what I heard:
“Thank you, God, for that. Oh, Lord, I needed that. Oh, God, thank you.” He wasn’t just being funny - it was completely sincere thanks and gratitude to his Lord and Savior for blessing him with such a Special Gift during such a Special Season.
You should know that before I posted this entry, I called Mama to get her permission. I mean, Lord knows we all have gas skeletons in our closets, and I really don’t want to embarrass my mama.
When I asked her if she minded me sharing the story, she died laughing and said, “No, I don’t mind - I mean, I was just in such an awkward position trying to get out of that truck and I had been holding it and I just needed some RELIEF! That should tell you how comfortable I am around D. But oh, I think about that night all the time. All the time!”
So do I, Mama. So do I.
Ben and Brandie says:
Oh my gosh, that is the funniest thing I have ever read. It was like I was sitting right there next to D. I can almost see the expression on her face when she let it fly.
January 14th, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Elise says:
I have now read it twice; once alone when all the men in my life wanted to know what was the funny joke about and the second time aloud to Paul and I do believe I have tears in my eyes! Just a reminder that there was a time you (???? WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED TO THE INTERNET? IT’S DELETING PART OF ELISE’S COMMENT!!! IT’S LOST ALL CONTROL!!!) in your dorm room when I met you.
Edited By Siteowner
January 15th, 2006 at 9:49 pm
Laura Miller says:
Okay, you HAVE to know that there are TEARS pouring down my face because I haven’t laughed so hard in quite some time! By the way, Chan thinks I’m laughing at Noggin and is laughing with me!
January 17th, 2006 at 7:42 pm
Casey says:
Oh my goodness!! I have tears streaming down my face from laughter. Thank you for sharing. And please tell your mama that she made my day!
June 29th, 2006 at 8:48 pm
Paulette says:
Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy wordddd, that is so halariousss. I know for a fact I have never laughed so much in my life. I had never read this post before. I would have wet myself as well. Poor Aunt C, as my kids would say… That is just wrong, which means hallarious in teen talk.
July 1st, 2006 at 9:20 pm
melissa stover says:
yes i was directed here by shannon. but this is a great post. so funny and so real. i’m glad to have found your site. you can add me as the number 11th reader.
July 3rd, 2006 at 4:57 am
Janice says:
Another site - one I have never been to before linked to this post. What a hoot!! And what a good sport your mama is!!
July 3rd, 2006 at 7:00 am
Boo Mama » One Year Later says:
[...] Mama And The Fish Camp (It’s old, I know. But I have to include it. I just have to.) [...]
November 25th, 2006 at 12:45 am
Robin says:
Are you just amazed looking back on these comments how much your blog readership has changed over the past year!? Wow!
Too funny by the way.
November 27th, 2006 at 12:52 pm
Boo Mama » Well, I’m Just Tickled To Pieces says:
[...] PLUS - and I believe there’s some merit to this theory - the three of us are all the mamas of “only” one child, which might indicate that mamas of one child are more likely to regale the internet with wacky misadventures (coincidentally, given this post about catfish, this post about crawfish, and these posts about Tunamamas of one child also seem more likely to find themselves in amusing situations either directly or indirectly related to creatures with gills). [...]
December 4th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
BooMama » Clearly The Earth Has Altered Its Rotation says:
[...] It’s no secret that I’ve gotten lots of material out of the fact that my mama doesn’t go anywhere near a computer, and I’ve quoted her saying “I can’t even turn on the email” so many times that y’all probably know that expression as well as you know the story about the fish camp. Those things are part of my bloggy heritage, plain and simple. [...]
December 20th, 2006 at 8:14 pm
trina says:
I have read this post MANY times and EVERY time I read it I laugh so hard my face hurts. You sure know how to tell a good story!
December 21st, 2006 at 8:45 am
His Singer says:
Oh my WORD!!!
Being fairly new to Bloggityville, this is the first chance I’ve had to read the fish camp story…but it won’t be the last!
A special note here:
As I was reading I was laughing so hard I literally started crying. One of the other girls here at work came into my office and asked if I was OK, and what was wrong? Why was I crying?? She was obviously VERY concerned, and when I could catch my breath I told her I’d forward her the page so she could see for herself what the matter was.
OH SWEET MERCY!!!
I can’t wait for HER to read it!
December 21st, 2006 at 2:55 pm
qtpies7 says:
Oh my, that is hilarious! I love stories like that! I have a gas passing story about my step-mom, but I’d better see if she minds me posting it, lol.
Lisa
December 24th, 2006 at 12:19 pm
Liz says:
I have to stop reading this post, it’s like a CRACKPIPE of good times
February 8th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
aj says:
I.can’t.stand.it. THAT post is killing me. I woke up my baby laughing!
Please. Post it once a week so it’ll pop up on my bloglines? The world will be a funnier place….
February 8th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
TaunaLen says:
Boomama,
Thank you for linking back to this post again. I’d hate to think of what my day would be like if I’d have missed it. Like D, I am thankful - I needed this story and the laughter and tears it generated. Thank you, thank you! Can’t wait to read more.
~TaunaLen
February 8th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Trista says:
OH.MY.GOD.I.CAN’T.STOP.LAUGHING. That is absolutely hilarious! Your mama sounds like a hoot. I gather you are from MS? I live in AL just south of B’ham. So I totally understand all the southerness to your posts. Loved it!
February 8th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Terri says:
I have tears of laughter streaming down my face! What happened AND your description of it are just too funny! That sounds so much like my mom and her sister and certainly something that they would do (I think they HAVE been in very similar situations). Thanks for sharing, BooMama! You’re just so much fun!
February 8th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Amy says:
How funny! In the middle of reading this, I had to send emails to two of my friends directing them to it! I’ve just found this blog, so I have a lot of catching up to do! I’m from Texas and grew up in the country so I can so relate! I think that’s one reason I love Beth Moore so much (besides the obvious anointing by God, of course!)!
February 8th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
jessica says:
This is one of the funniest things I have ever read! Can I link to this on my site?
February 8th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
BooMama » Ask And It Shall Be Given Unto You says:
[...] Finally: In Which I Make My Mama Very, Very Proud (I always vow I will never link to this post again. And then I link to it. It’s a sickness, really.) [...]
February 8th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Becky says:
Boomama,
That is the funniest story I’ve ever read on a blog before. I was LOL literally!! ; ) Glad you linked back.
Don’t worry a bit about your writing slump you’ve had a superior past for us to enjoy. : )
February 8th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
DeenaMarie says:
Oh, Boomama, that was priceless. My hubby called right in the middle of me reading, and he could hear the smile on my face…I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks. Your mama is precious, and you are so, so blessed! Thanks for posting it again for us newbies.
February 9th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Missy says:
48oz Sweet Tea - $1.25
All you can eat Catfish - $8.99
Tootin’ Mama - PRICELESS
Loved this post! I especially love the way your husband gave a shout out to the Lord for this sweet moment in life. It’s definitely the little things in life…….
February 9th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Kelley says:
CAN’T…BREATHE…
My poor son just came running downstairs thinking I must have received some positively devastating news when I “turned on” my e-mail. He almost didn’t believe me when I said I was crying because I had been LAUGHING so hard!
BTW, the other day I was reading your blog, I was laughing then too. My husband was watching TV and asked what on earth I was laughing at. I said, “Three guesses.” His reply: “BooMama?” YEP.
Thanks, Boo!
February 9th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Bordermama says:
Two things: Wait, let me clear the tears from my face first. Okay. Your mama must be the sweetest and humblest lady to let you share this. I love people who can laugh at themselves. Second, the prayer you heard your husband say made my heart hurt in that o-the-sweet-beauty-of-faith kind of way. Precious man.
February 12th, 2007 at 2:57 pm