Ready…Set…Go!

Without a doubt – lamest title ever. I do hope you’ll read this anyway.

Tonight marks the season premiere for one of our household’s very favorite shows in the history of all television: The Amazing Race.

And you’re thinking, “HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE POSSIBLY WATCH MORE TELEVISION?”

It’s just a matter of priorities, really. And two TiVo‘s.

I’m particularly excited about this season because it marks a return to the regular, two-person-per-team format. Back in the fall, CBS experimented with a family format, and it was a disaster. I gave up, in fact, after the second episode – it was just too hard to try to keep all the people straight and to listen to all four family members talk at once. Plus, since there were small children involved, they restricted the race to North America, and basically, well, it stunk. If I’m going to watch people race around the globe, I don’t want to hear little Kaitlyn whine about how her feet hurt and she wants a juice box. I want COMPETITION. Not to mention that when you take away jet lag and subsequent attempts to navigate foreign countries’ rail systems and airports, you take away half the fun.

I have contended for some time that my sister would be the Best. Race. Contestant. Ever. She is a savvy traveler, never intimidated by her surroundings, and always up for an adventure. I have several friends who have tried out for TAR and not made the cut, but I do think that if my mother-in-law and I tried out together, we would immediately be selected because of her tendency to say everything in threes.

Just picture Martha in India: “Now, sugar, where DID you get that burkha? Oh, honey, it is ADORABLE. Cute. Cute. Cute. Did you SEE that? Oh, S., did you SEE that? Did you SEE that? I have GOT to get Mother one. That color will be so PRETTY with her eyes. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. ”

And then I’d say, “Martha, you do NOT need a burkha. Sissie is NINETY-FIVE. SHE does not need a burkha.”

And she’d say, “Oh, I have to have one. We can’t get these in Meridian. You know, we don’t have anywhere to shop there. I mean, we have a Dillard’s and a McRae’s, but I think they just send the leftovers from all the other stores there because one time, Rubena and I were looking for suits, and I wanted a sort of periwinkle one and it had a darling collar because the button came up right under my collarbone, and Rubena found her size, because they have lots of her size, since she’s bigger than I am, but of course they didn’t have my size and you know I have to get the sleeves taken up on EVERYTHING…”

And then the camera would cut to me, with my eyes rolling back into my brain, banging my head against the side of some poor Indian man’s kiosk, while Martha continued to tell the man, who doesn’t speak her language, about the deficiencies of the Susan Bristol section at the McRae’s department store in Meridian, Mississippi.

Because he would of course be terribly interested.

It would make for some mighty good television, I’m telling you.

Anyway, I know we have Idol tonight – and I’ll be watching that, too – but if you are technologically able, find a way to see both.

It’ll be double the bloggy fun for all of us.

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Comments

  1. i had no idea that you liked tar. john and i love it!! do you remember jennifer howell? my sister’s friend. she lives in la now and has started a non-profit org. called art of elysium. look up the website!! anyway, we went to one of her events in la and the whole cast of tar were there. and better yet rebecca, remember her and her boyfriend with the devil horns, well they are jennifer’s roomates. we all went back to her apartment and talked and stuff. remember the wrestler, he was so nice. rebecca was really nice too.

  2. GET OUT! I have wondered if Rebecca and devil horn boy were still together. The really cute blonde girl who was on that season broke up with the guy she dated – I can’t remember their names, but they came in 2nd because they got caught behind a train.

    Don’t you remember that one time when D. and I were out in LA we met up with Jennifer at some show she organized? And Todd was real excited b/c it was Daniel Lanois, who apparently is a big deal guitar player, but it was the loudest music I’ve ever heard and at some point it became like fingernails on a chalkboard and I had to leave. But Jennifer was SO sweet.

  3. Our family loves TAR, too. Only tonight we’ll be at Upward Basketball Awards night, where T-Riels is supposed to be as well. Since I don’t have Tivo I’ll be dependent on you to fill me in on all the details of the first night. I think I heard that one of the teams is from H’burg. Be looking for them.

  4. The stuff about my mother would be very funny if it were not SO TRUE.

  5. Yes, I am eagerly awaiting the premiere tonight – two whole hours. Ahhh. A little piece of heaven:-)

    Two Tivo’s huh. You’ve got it bad:-)

  6. My mom and Anne love this show, too. In fact, my mom tried out for it with her nutty (but sweet) friend Fleeta. Soph, I laughed so hard at your description of Martha! Who is Rubena, by the way? Oh, and what happened to Sister? Where are you, Sister? I miss hearing from you.

  7. Rubena is Martha’s friend from grade school, and they have shopped together since they were teenagers. Martha is in her 70’s and still takes trips to H’burg or Jackson just to shop. And every – I do mean EVERY – item of clothing has a story.

    Sister is around :-) – but very busy. I’ll bet she’ll be glad to know that she’s been missed.