Please Excuse Me While I Make Excuses

So here’s what I know.

As a Southern girl, you learn to reciprocate any kindness that comes your way. If someone brings you flowers, you fill the vase with candy before you return it. If someone gives you a gift, you write a thank you note. If someone sends you a letter, you answer it. These things were non-negotiables as far as my mama was concerned.

As a blogger, I want to adhere to the same code. And I did for awhile. If someone commented, I quickly went to her site and commented in return. If someone emailed, I immediately answered. If I saw that someone had added me to her Bloglines, I added her to mine.

But then a lot more people starting coming around, and it changed things a little bit. I’m not saying that it should have, but it did.

Which leaves me here, still trying to figure out how to keep up my end of the bloggy deal.

A bit of backstory: I have been in my house one night out of the last fourteen. ONE NIGHT IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS. And I’m not positive, but I think my mental state at this point is only slightly better than an eight year old enduring his first week of sleep-away camp.

(In other words: “I wanna go HOOOOOOOME.”)

Two weeks ago I went on a great trip to Savannah with some of my bloggy friends. The day after we got home, I made an unexpected trip to be with my friend Elise. And when I left her last Tuesday, I came to my parents’ for a visit we’d planned several weeks ago.

And I’ve realized something during my time away from home: so much of my blogging “routine” is dependent on location. Since I’ve pretty much been hijacking other people’s computers for the last two weeks, it’s thrown me off more than a little bit. I’ve blogged from Wendi’s, from Mama and Daddy’s (DIAL UP IS HATEFUL), and from my cousin’s house. I came THISCLOSE to blogging from Elise’s house one afternoon, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do that, seeing as how she’s been recently widowed and all. I mean, I know we’ve been friends for almost 20 years, but I’m pretty sure that the etiquette experts would draw the line at trying to catch up on blog reading from the computer of someone who is grieving the death of her husband. I think that would probably qualify as tacky. (And by the way – lest you worry that I’m being insensitive to the plight of my sweet friend Elise – I can promise you that when she read those last two lines, she laughed. Loudly.) :-)

So I haven’t exactly been minding my bloggy manners. I’ve hit “mark all read” on Bloglines more times than I can count…I’ve read all of your sweet emails and more often than not been totally unsure of how to respond…I even asked y’all to open up your homes, and you did, and in a lot of cases I haven’t made it by your place yet.

Tacky, tacky, tacky.

But there is a flipside. And the flipside is why, in the grand scheme of things, I just can’t beat myself up too much for the way the last two weeks have gone, blogging-wise.

– I made time to take a trip with four sweet blogging friends. Only now they’re not just blogging friends – they’re friends. Period.

– I was able to be with a long-time friend who needed me more than ever before.

– I hung out in my pajamas for almost two days when I got to Mama’s – and pretty much never let go of my little one. We sang songs and read books and watched movies and loved every second.

– I’ve spent the last three days with my sister at my cousin’s house – cleaning out, decorating, rearranging furniture – all for the new member of our family who’s scheduled to arrive sometime in November.

– And I’ve missed my husband like crazy.

So yeah, I’ve missed some posts. Yeah, I’m behind on the tour. And yeah, I’ve been a little overwhelmed, truthfully, when I’ve thought about how many of you are reading Ye Olde Blogge these days, because I want to make it worth your while. I want to have something to say.

So if you would, bear with me. I need to ease back into regular life – and ease back into blog life, too. Once I get back home, I’ll re-discover my routine. I’ll be able to write a little when A. is eating breakfast, and read through my Bloglines when he’s taking a nap, and write a little more after he goes to bed. I’ll be able to click on your comments and (quickly, thanks to DSL) discover all sorts of new bloggity treasures.

Did I mention that I’ve missed my husband?

One more thing. I owe Jeana a big ole thank you. She made me smile last Thursday by giving me a funny blog award, and because I’ve been visiting Tackyland, apparently, I haven’t thanked her yet. So, many thanks to Jeana – for making me laugh with her quirky sense of humor, for giving me something fun to put in my sidebar, and for ensuring – beyond a shadow of a doubt – that at least in terms of the Christian blogging world, my mama’s legacy is secure.

I’ll be back tomorrow.

With nary a trace of tackiness remaining.

Hopefully. :-)

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Comments

  1. 2:06 am is when you posted…wow!
    I’m up early this morning too…got up at 3:30am…lol!
    Just want you to know…you are just fine the way you are…I for one understand…I’ve not been blogging long but I’ve come to realize, summers are busy, busy…I’m looking forward to winter and seeing how that is in Blogland!
    You take care of yourself and don’t worry about the etiquette thing…my mercy!!
    :-D
    As for making it around to everyone…I was overwhelmed…I can’t imagine how you feel!!!

  2. You’re so cute!

  3. You can be as tacky as you want to be; we still love you anyway!!!

  4. Tacky schmacky. It’s just plain inconvenient when real life gets in the way of blogging, isn’t it? ;)

  5. Noooooooo apologies needed!

    Chris

  6. I can’t believe you’ve been online AT ALL with that schedule! (((hugs))) to you and enjoy getting back to your life at home.

  7. Hi BooMama, I haven’t been blogging for very long, but you raise a very good point I have been thinking about a bit, and that is about the commitment we owe to our blogs… I can see that it could be all-consuming if we let it, I guess like all things balance is the answer. You did well!

    I haven’t done the house tour with my house, it’s no way ready for the camera – but I have definitely been a ‘tourist’ as I imagine have many many others – congratulations, the result has been amazing, you should be very pleased.

    regards
    Della

  8. For a few months now I’ve been in ‘Read Only’ mode with some of the blogs in this blogging ‘mafia’ – for a lack of a less tacky word :-D I started with HolyMama’s, then she introduced me to you, and with the Tour of Homes I’ve found more funny bloggers. One thing I’ve found in reading these blogs is that you guys are a huge support to each other. I think even Ms. Post would want to put some of her rules away to get in on some of this action. I love reading your words of laughter, encouragement and truth (whether it’s tacky or not…for the record? it’s not!) Thanks for making my Monday less overwhelming.

  9. Merritt says:

    Been missing you but I figured ya’ll were busy in the Queen City getting ready for itty bitty person. I kinda did the same thing last night on a much smaller scale – got out all my old stuff to give to K. Made me a little…no, a LOT sad, too. All that stuff is so tiny and cute. I think I may want to use it one more time… :) Not really b/c S. may be reading this and having a heart attack right now.

    Have a great week back home. I know how happy you are to be there!!

  10. Everyone understands, Boo. Take your time.

  11. NO PROBLEM…..YOU HAVE BEEN UNDER ALOTOF STRESS. YOU ARE IN MY PRYAERS. STILL LOVE READING YOUR BLOGS.
    JEN

  12. You need to let it go! ;) The rest of us Southern Girls also understand that you just can’t be everything to everyone! On the totem pole of life blogging needs to be the low man. We’ll be reading you regardless. I promise.

    Besides, we’ve all been worried about you and your friend and how you’re holding up. I’m glad you are home with your family. My heart goes out to you and to Elise.

  13. You are in my prayers. Go home and enjoy that hubby of yours. That is what is important.

    Many Blessings.

  14. don’t even worry about it. I agree, reciprocation is great, especially if you mutually blogroll each other (not necessarily the “big blogrolls”), but no one should ever expect “you’re so funny” and “great post!” from every one on their blogroll on every.single.post.

    besides, when real life takes unexpected turns, that’s your priority anyways.

  15. You go do what you need to do! We’ll still be here however long that takes. I’m sure there is not a one of us that would think twice of you taking some time off from blogging to get your world back to the familiar routine. Praying that God will refresh you.

  16. Don’t put pressure on yourself B. Take your time, take five, get your bearings.

    Don’t feel like you gotta hurry back, nobody’s goin’ anywhere! ;-)

    Much love girl!

  17. Giiiirrrrlll! Go take care of yourself and that family. You know we will all be right here when you come back :)

    That’s what friends are for, love ya! T-Lo

  18. Though I have missed reading your posts (*desperately*), I would never fault you for any lack of online presence. You have had much larger things to worry about. You were properly brought up and occasionally we all fall short in the reciprocal kindness arena. We love you just as you are.
    (BTW- I leave Sat, for a month of dial-up. Yikes!)

  19. New reader here, but just wanted to say, take time with your family anf your friends. The blog will be here in a week, or even a month, or even a year if you leave it that long! Take all the time you need with your family and friends. (((hugs)))

  20. As far as I’m concerned you are NOT being tacky! A lot has happend in the last little while and I think (and hope) that everyone one understands!

    Take your time getting back into your blogging routine!

  21. I feel ya! I’m soooo behind. I haven’t even had the time to finish the tour- and I swear a 1000 people have been to my site as well and I always visit and see who they are :)

    Life happens. See the hubby, love the hubby and go mess up the house some. We’ll be here when you get back :)

    Promise!

  22. Boomama – you are so sweet…always thinking of your blogger friends!!! I just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU for hosting the first Annual (???) Bloggy Tour of Homes!!! It was fun and it took me almost 3 days but I got through them all. I wanted to post but just started my blog and haven’t quite figured out what I’m doing…funny that I built and run the website for my church but don’t know HTML yet so I struggle with the placement of things in the blogger. I’ll try to mess with it more when I have more time.

    I happened upon your website a few months ago from Sarah’s (In The Midst of It)…originally from Lisa Whelchel’s Coffee Talk…got to love that women! I’m going to have to thank her for introducing me to the bloggy world and new friends like you!

    Enjoy your hubby when you finally get home!

    Love in Christ,
    Kim – High Ridge, MO

  23. Awww, you are too sweet!! Real life always comes first, we all understand that!!

  24. You are so cute, I have actually watched someone become famous right before my eyes lol. You have gone from tens of comments everyday to hundreds. It will be good to have you home Boomama.

  25. Ditto what everyone before me said, BooMama. Real life comes first and foremost. After all, that’s where most of the blog fodder comes from, LOL. ;-) Your true friends are the ones you don’t have to explain every little thing to, and tackiness just doesn’t matter at all when it’s covered with love. :-)

    Take your time, live your live, be you. We’ll be here when you get back to us. :-) After all, we have lives too, not that you could tell by how much time I spend blogging, LOL ;-)

  26. Girl, you do whatever you need to do. Or don’t do it for that matter. You don’t owe any of us a thing.

  27. I’m also a newer reader but just want to echo everyone else in thanking you for hosting this great get together. I found one common thread in every home I visited. Every single one of them puts family above all else! That is what you are doing now and we all understand that!

  28. I am in agreement with every here. Family comes first! Take care!

  29. Love you, Boo. Take all the time you need. I’m bearing with ya, and praying you’ll be delivered from the spirit of tackiness. ;)

  30. From one G.R.I.T.S. (Girl Raised In The South) to another, I can see only one appropriate response. I shall render it now:

    Bless your heart, Honey!

    There you go. All better now. You’re getting back into your “bloggy groove” and us tens of people are grateful.

    Thank you for allowing us to bear you, Elise, her family and all who are grieving up to our loving Father.

    If we were MIRLfriends, I’d take your face in my hands, plant a smooch on your cheek and whisper in your ear, “Bless your heart, Honey,” and you could tell I meant it because you’d see the evidence rolling down my cheeks.

  31. Boomama,

    Congratulations, you are human, like me and all your other readers! :-)

    I guess the memo that I insist got sent to all members of my family that they deny getting — the one that says I can do every thing at any time — got lost, and apparently so did your copy! :-)

    You have had a lot on your plate, and you chose what was the most important, your family and your friends who need you!

    I post comments because something struck me on a blog, not because I expect a reply, and I don’t yet blog, so there is not need to visit my nonexistent site in return – although it would not take long!

    So enjoy your family, rest, recuperate, and rest.

    We will be here when you get back, and be happy to see you again.

    So not tacky, just human!

    Kristy

  32. Hakuna Matata–we’re still reading you.

  33. We northern/western girls understand! Do not worry! This is why I put off blogging for quite awile – I knew I would become addicted and spend time doing it that I should spend doing other things. But it’s so much fun! Gkad you got to spend time in your jammies at your mom’s!

  34. Hesitated to post a comment- one more thing for you to read?? LOL
    Just want you to know you have been in my thoughts and prayers. Take time to love on your family and be there for your friend. Thank you for still thinking of others, even the others you have never met! In Christ-

  35. Oh, yes, you are definitely going to have to change your tagline. . . . (well, it’s so cute, you probably can’t).

    The blog reciprocity thing is tough. I don’t think that you have any obligation to blogroll someone who blogrolls you. The way I see it, I am recommending my personal blogroll to someone, so I really want it to be a true reflection of my “can’t miss” reads.

    If a new person comments on my blog, I do try to check it out. If I like her, a lot (since I am already too bloggy as it is), I may add her to my favorites folder, or I may just visit occasionally. Of course, I’m still one of those “tens of” blogs, although I have to say that since Bloggy Tour, I may be closer to the three digits.

  36. girl, I rarely if ever respond to my comments.. not that I don’t WANT to, but I don’t want to set a precedent I will have to keep up with. Don’t let other people set the expectations for you— live your real life, and we’ll read when you blog!

  37. Well I enjoy reading your blog! I do not think it is tacky but it is very kind of you to address the issue if you believe that it is!

  38. Suggestion — if you can use it please do, if not there is a trash can nearby right? LOL Seriously though — Not too long ago another blogger always left responses in her comment section to comments left on her blog. She’s getting plenty of comments trust me. And it was neat how she responded.. so maybe you can respond in your own comment section. No one can expect you to see all their blogs — simply put there is not enough time in the day. (Esp when you host the Tour of Homes) Now, do I expect you to visit my humble little blog — no. If you want please do — but if you don’t I am sure the world will still go on.
    Emails? Well, those if personal need to be taken care of via personal means.. or you can respond in a post. Should hopefully cut down on the “blogger response” time for some things.
    Have a great day!

  39. Sometimes success breeds out-of-whack-ness. You’ll get your groove back.

  40. You do tacky well. I always enjoy your blogs! Take a day off when you return home, you have all our permission (that is if you can *smile*). Michelle

  41. Suzanne says:

    Clemntine echoed my sentiments…..us Southern girls owe on another much extended grace in time of need, which is what we are extending to you. Your obligations are suspended until you feel like you are back in your groove. Do love readin’ your blog, though!!!! Hope you are finding hope as spoken of in Isaiah 41:10….bless you and Elise, too. Praying for grace beyond measure!!!

  42. You probably need to change your by-line. I have a feeling you are read by more than 10’s of people each day.

    So at that point, I think you have to either hire someone to reply (very hard to do when no or very little money is being made.)or adopt new rules. Either way I think people will understand.

  43. Okay, you are so popular boomama! I think you need to change your tag line to “read by millions each day.” What a crowd you have and what an awesome responsibility the Lord has given you. Wow! You bless so many!

  44. Just wanted to say thank you so much for hosting the tour. I can appreciate how crazy it was particularly in this difficult time for you and Elise. Now…listen to your complete stranger of a friend up here in Canada…and don’t worry about manners and etiquette and all that…take care of yourself!

    Blessing to you.

    Rena

    ps…see you on the Christmas tour??

  45. Well bless your heart girlfriend – we love you no matter what! Besides that, we all think you’ve gone way beyond the call by continuing with the home tour under the circumstances.

  46. Shackled by a heavy burden
    ‘Neath a load of guilt and shame…
    :)
    xo,

  47. I can not even begin to tell you how much I enjoy your blog. I am writing a thank you note tomorrow for someone who spoke words of wisdom at church Sunday. I know all about the Southern etiquette and try to practice it well. However, the way you word it just cracks me up. Thankyou.

  48. Will you let us know how Elise is doing? How we can pray, specifically? She is on my heart.

    I took a few photos but did not get the kitchen in order, so…I missed being part of the tour. Perhaps I’ll just post a real-life-kitchen picture!! :-)C

  49. Take a break. Spend some time with your family and especially your husband and for goodness sake, don’t even try to respond to all these comments. There’s not a single one of us out here who could do that. And no one expects you too, either. We’ll all be right here – no one’s going anywhere.

  50. Take your time. We will be here, Friend.

  51. seeing as how I am somewhere around comment #51 when I started to type just now. . . let’s just say, your secret is out of the bag, you are a worthy and terrific blogger and we all love you so!

    just do what ever God gives you the means to do.

    remember, God, then Hubby, then little one and yourself and then the rest of the world! I am forever getting that all out of wack and boy does my life show it!

    praying everyday for everyone affected by Paul’s passing. I know God is using so many bloggers prayers , I find that truly amazing what God can do! So awesome!

    Take care of yourself.

  52. Hi! :) Don’t really have anything to say – just thought I’d stop by.

  53. No worries girl we understand!!! AS these 50+ comments prove! I agree with all the fine ladies and all they had to say.

    Your life is crazy busy and more important things than blogging have come up. So now worries.

    Second, you are are entering internet rock star category with the number of comments you get. Now I know you want to remember all of us little people now that you are a big celebrity, but that is just the way life goes. One person can only divide their time so much. So when you do finally get to drop by now and again we all all stop and gasp – THE Boomama came to MY little ole site!! And we will feel really cool all day long! :)

    And while I am hoping I am making you chuckle and not blush too much, I do reiterate what I said to you the other day in a comment. (Since you have so many, I will remind you here – hee hee) The reason you are getting so popular is because whenever someone clicks over here for the first time they find a very talented, hysterical, insightful blogger and they WANT to come back. You are good girl. Really good. (And although your tag line is one of my favourites in the whole blogosphere, I agre with the ohter ladies, you might have to change it to thousands or millions one day. But…that really wouldn’t be funny… So well… you just will have to change it!! LOL)

    And I don’t know about the other participants, but I have only got to about 100 so far myself. I will hopefully get to them all in the next while, but it was over 200!!!! I mean my word!!!

    I am the same as you trying to get to every person every time they comment. But people understand when we see that you have a gillion comments that we don’t expect to see you that often.

    So rest easy my friend. As all the ladies have said before. We all still know that you are a sweet, well-mannered Southern lady.And we LOVE you!

  54. Don’t think that the “Terms” reference was lost on me-I so appreciate that one. Sorry for using bad blog etiquette previously; I’m still a bit slow on all of this blog-stuff. D screamed at me and then punched me really hard in the stomach-so I won’t be doing THAT again. Glad you’re back chillin’ at the crib (it truly is amazing what two days in Compton will do to your street cred.) Word y’all.
    tt

  55. Spoken like a true southern gal. I lived in the south for 10 years, and thought it the most wonderful place to be.

    Cas

  56. I love reading you stuff. Thanks for being apart of the blogosphere! Your posts always make me smile.

    And no need to make excuses… from one Southern lady to another, it is OKAY to drop the ball sometimes. Others need a chance to play too! :)

  57. Let me just say, you are justified in not being able to keep up, with all that is going on in your life right now, not to mention that you get so many comments for each post you right. How do you keep up in normal circumstances?!

    I don’t get half the commments you do (I’m still pretty new at this) and, like you, I feel it’s important to respond to comments with emails but there are times when I feel buried in them.

    I spent a week out of town on business last week and I’m finally caught up on my emails. Now, if I could just stay caught up. :)

  58. Boomama, you are delightful, I must say! And your home is beautiful! But that has already been said in ways that are much more eloquent than mine. I am on the road too, using dial up at the in-laws. I can relate to your reciprosity quandry. And yet, I can because you have 57 comments and I have 1-12. :-)
    So, I think you need to change your “read by tens” because you are getting FAMOUSE! :-D

  59. I was slightly overwhelmed with it all myself, and I haven’t had any extraordinary circumstances. So you take your time! My home will be open to you whenever you can get there. The stirfry might be a little old by the time you get there, but eh. ;)

  60. I just love your idea and the tour of homes. I know something like this takes time on your part and thankyou. Is it to late to sign up?
    Sharon Kay
    My front porch at the lake