Not being home for two weeks means that we were down to some pretty scarce rations when I got here yesterday. I don’t know what switch flips when I leave town, but my husband – who normally loves a big home-cooked dinner with all the trimmings – suddenly looks at a scoop of peanut butter on top of a bite of bread and calls it a meal.
Or, you know, he just eats ice cream.
So last night, when I started going through the pantry, trying to figure out what might constitute supper for the family, I found no bread, an almost-empty bag of Cheetos-type product, a few packs of a gelatinous fruit snack, a box of oat bran, a can of garbanzo beans, and some flour.
YUMMMMMMM.
Needless to say, we went to Outback.
So this morning, when I crawled out of bed and started to make my grocery list, it looked something like this:
lip stuff
Gain
food
That was the best I could do.
Normally I’m Queen of the OCD Grocery Shoppers, making my list according to the order of the aisles and my two week pre-planned menu (I’m telling y’all – I’m crazy. WHEN WILL YOU BELIEVE ME?). But today, I was all devil-may-care-ish, rolling through Walmart with no plan whatsoever.
I’ve gotta tell you: it was liberating.
And if that’s not the absolute lamest act of rebellion you’ve ever heard of (“MAMA GONE WILD IN AISLE SIX!”), then I don’t know what is.
So I ended up with this odd assortment of food: chicken and squash and coffee and milk and soup and cinnamon rolls and waffles and grapes and and french toast and pancake mix and, um, Frosted Mini Wheats, even though I haven’t bought them in a year or nine, but they struck my cereal fancy when I wheeled by them.
Basically, I have no idea what our menus will be around here for the next couple of weeks, but I’m thinking that we’ll be having some hearty portions of poultry with some type of breakfast food on the side. And some fruit until the grapes run out.
In other words, we’ll pretty much be hanging out on the pointy end of the food pyramid.
I’m sure to be nominated for prestigious awards by nutrition experts!
And who knows? Since I’m such a wild and crazy woman these days, tomorrow I may even wash clothes and LEAVE OUT THE FABRIC SOFTENER.
Or, you know, not (honestly, the thought of no fabric softener makes my pulse quicken just a little bit. Just a little teensy bit).
And I have a feeling I’ll be back at the grocery store in a week or so with my normal overly-organized list in hand. Pre-planned menus and all.
A girl can only live on the edge for so long.
September 2nd, 2010 at 10:38 am
BOOMAMA IS BAAAACK!! love it. Just take it easy, live wild for a bit cause an ocd person cant live that way long trust me…. I know.
Blessings!!
September 2nd, 2010 at 10:38 am
“making my list according to the order of the aisles”
Glad to see other people do that too, I thought I was being, well, a bit too like a librarian. But what I did was make a list of the things we most often need and type them up in columns to reflect the aisles. I print or photocopy them (2 lists to a page) and then just have to put a check next to the items I need. There’s space left to write in the things not on the list. Works a treat!
September 2nd, 2010 at 10:38 am
You had me laughing out loud talking about “mama gone wild in aisle six”!
I can relate to the grocery list because if I go without my list, I get home and think what did I just spend money on because I still have nothing to eat?
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:45 am
I’m crazy about shopping lists too. I hate to make them but if I don’t I really don’t know what I’m going to make for dinner.
I want to go crazy too. I’ll leave out the fabric softener if you do. :)
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:48 am
I always used to go grocery shopping like that! My partner and I would always come home with tons of food and very little to acutally have for supper! So we started doing the list thang when the little guy came around. Every now and then it really is fun to go crazy shopping!
Your post cracked me up!
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:09 am
I was a little worried until I took a second look at that list. Girl, you remembered the Gain. You’re OK.
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:13 am
that was me a few weeks ago – I had “sugar, icecream cake”
it was great. until I wanted some food
did you read my mind as I was posting my wfmw tip this week or something?
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:26 am
“lip stuff
Gain
food”
Laughing. So. Hard. Snorting. Gasping. For. Breath.
Have missed you, Boo. Missed you.
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:33 am
You crack me up. I am the exact same way. I actually spent hours once grocery shopping while writing down EVERY item I bought and what isle it was on so I could come home and complie a chart, and graphs and…..ok so just a list. Anyway, i do the same thing. I haven’t liberated myself yet….I still use a list…EVERY time I go…
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:34 am
Living on the wild side… Can it get much crazier than this?
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:36 am
This has nothing to do with your post, but can I just say how happy it makes me to see that you spell the word “y’all” correctly? So many people write “ya’ll” and that just bugs the fire out of me.
Just wanted you to know you weren’t the only OCD southern girl out there.
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:44 am
I knew it before, but this confirmed it–you really ARE crazy. ;)
(And you’re the only person I know who can write about random grocery shopping and make it funny. It’s a gift, I tell you.)
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:50 am
First, I had no idea y’all was spelled that way, so good to know. I’m even a Texas native and didn’t know. I honestly, until only recently thought spell check only told you it was spelled incorrectly. Had no idea it actually corrected it for you because I just don’t spell incorrectly, except for, apparently – y’all…Moving on – have never tried Gain. Seriously. Sounds a bit cultish. May need to try it. And last I have menus printed out on the fridge, by the week, have always always done that. Every Sunday I plan them out with my calendar at my side so I know what days are crazy. Every morning I look to see what we’re having. Better plan is daughter Leslie’s. Her husband took cell phone with him to Walmart, he took photos of the aisle markers, came home and typed up a list. She just checks off what she wants and HE does the shopping. The idea of my husband doing our grocery shopping is way too scary – we’d have 20 pkgs of meat and not much else. But it works for them. I’ve gone to grocery store with the mental list of “one of everything”. Sounds about like what you did.
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:56 am
lip stuff
Gain
food
CRACKED ME UP!!! I love that I can hear you saying that in my head too. :-)
(BTW – when you say Gain, you do mean the whole assortment of Gain laundry products … correct? And when you say leave out the fabric softener, you meant to say fabric softeners … right? Just checking.)
August 2nd, 2006 at 6:20 am
I really only needed detergent this time – I stocked up on dryer sheets and the liquid fabric softener before we went to Savannah.
And Addie, I would never, ever eliminate the dryer sheets AND the liquid fabric softener. That’s just a bunch of crazy talk. I would only eliminate the liquid stuff – but insist on continuing to use the dryer sheets b/c they get rid of static.
:-)
August 2nd, 2006 at 6:49 am
You crack me up. I rarely shop with a grocery list, but I stop by the store several times a week. I’m lovin’ the “pointy end of the food pyramid” – had me laughing out loud.
We really must mirl sometime.
August 2nd, 2006 at 6:56 am
I have long had my suspicions, but you have officially confirmed them with your sick obsessions with grocery lists and fabric softener: we were separated at birth.
August 2nd, 2006 at 7:03 am
LOL… sounds like our fridge for the week the dh is out of town. DD and I will have eggs or cereal or something fun like that for dinner. Some nights we even do strawberry shortcake ;) And then dh comes home and it is back to the full meals again.
August 2nd, 2006 at 9:16 am
First, it is so comforting seeing you back again, knowing that you know, really know, that God is in control and all is well in your soul…you are a living example, and a humble example too. It’s a privilege to have read your blog these past weeks.
Second, Gain Rules!
Third, You crack me up.
Fourth, I’ve gotta get more sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzz
August 2nd, 2006 at 11:23 am
So glad to know I’m not the only one who makes 2 week long menus. I get the shopping done 2x a month at 6am on a Saturday. I really thought I might be the only person out there this crazy. Much relieved now though. :) But it is nice to live by the seat of your pants once in a while. I’m sure my family enjoys the change in food that brings!
August 2nd, 2006 at 12:32 pm
Too funny!
August 2nd, 2006 at 1:16 pm
I used to be that organized – I still try. But I could only ever manage one week at a time. I find myself more and more going with 6 things on my list and coming home with hundreds. But partly it’s because I don’t write down everything that I “normally” get. But yes, I do the aisle thing – taking a picture – what a great idea!
I’m the one who eats peanut butter and crackers, though, when my husband is gone.
I wish I could find the humor in grocery shopping – or anything else – like you and my niece, Karen do! You are too funny.
August 2nd, 2006 at 1:49 pm
Oh honey you got me with this post! We live on such a tight budget that most of the time I have to plan, plan, plan my grocery shopping. I carry a calculator and all that jazz.
But twice a year we get these people who rent our house (long story—we live in a town that hosts a huge furniture expo but there are not enough hotels, so we rent our house out). We make about $3,000 and part of the “fun” with that money is to go to the grocery store and stock up on anything and everything I want. I can SO relate to this post! :)
My kids are in hog heaven when my plan goes out the window, they actually get sugary pre-packaged snacks! And me, I get TIDE and not generic Sam’s brand detergent. It is magic.
August 2nd, 2006 at 1:59 pm
You always have some great one-liners. My favorite two today are:
“In other words, we’ll pretty much be hanging out on the pointy end of the food pyramid.” and “And if that’s not the absolute lamest act of rebellion you’ve ever heard of (“MAMA GONE WILD IN AISLE SIX!”), then I don’t know what is.”
Thanks for such great writing.
August 2nd, 2006 at 2:51 pm
OK !!I feel a whole new career coming for you!! Print your meals and grocery lists that correspond, of course, every 2 weeks and charge us for your organization and cuisine expertise. Or, just write a book — Paula Deen’s personal friend gone wild!!! Truly, what a blessing that would be for my chaotic pantry!! I laughed OUT LOUD!!!Love Love
August 2nd, 2006 at 2:58 pm
ROTFL!! I try to make a list, otherwise I forget something important, but most of the time I run up and down the aisles staring at everything, ha ha.
August 2nd, 2006 at 3:39 pm
How funny!!! I am the same way as you when it comes to grocery shopping lists but we all should go “crazy in aisle 6″ at least once in our lives!!
Kelli
August 2nd, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Your blog has become a bright spot in my morning ‘puter browsings…..you have such a knack for writing about everyday things….and making them so full of fun, and laughter. Keep sharing! And I “get” it…..I used to love coupons, list writing, organizing my trips to the grocery…I guess I need rehab because it’s often WILDNESS anymore, and at the end I say “what did I buy?” and “where’s the real food?”….sigh……….
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:04 pm
I went away for about a week for a romance writers’ conference and before I left I went with Beloved to the store. He told me in no uncertain terms that he was in charge of the food and family now (even though I’d be there two more days), so I deferred all grocery decisions to him. He got 6 boxes of mac and cheese and two pounds of hamburger and frozen veggies. He was so smug that we got out of the store with only about $25 in purchases. I said, “That’s what you’re feeding my kids?” He said, “That’s not all.” I figured they wouldn’t starve, but I did wonder, and they were fine, but there was the same stuff in the fridge, leftover-wise, as there was the day before I left, so I figure they ate a lot of repetitious meals!
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:11 pm
What a great way to start my day – a cup of coffee and a good dose of Ms. Boo!
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:15 pm
Grain and lip stuff what more could a gal want!!! Come priorities here, eheheh.
Snort, Snort….
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:48 pm
Living at the pointy end?!?! I’m dyin’ laughing here! You’re living on the EDGE, Boomama, on the EDGE. Next thing we know you’ll part your hair on the opposite side. The time-space continuum could be permanently warped!
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:48 pm
Too funny. I just did the same thing. Normally I make out my OCD list just as you do but after returning home from being at my moms house (sick) I just went hog wild at wal-mart and bought whatever fit my fancy. It’s kind of strange now at dinner time when I look through my cabinets to find something to eat – I guess it’s good to throw caution to the wind and go Wally World crazy sometimes. Maybe that keeps us sane – hee hee.
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:04 pm
What? There’s something wrong with only 3 items on a grocery list?
I’ve dangled by a thread from the pointy end for years.
Besides, you’re my sister…that gene was bound to surface at some point. :)
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:12 pm
I LOVE to shop in advance. I plan out 4-5 weeks worth of meals and just go in between for milk and bread and diapers…
I go on Friday nights after the kidlets are in bed and have Publix all to myself…doesn’t take much to excite me :)
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:56 pm
Are you KIDDING ME? I was all ready to tell you that you should leave out the softener if you really wanted to be rebellious. You’ve burst my bubble.
Who was it that said “if you aren’t living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space”?
Anyway, take care not to get injured by that “pointy” thing.
August 2nd, 2006 at 6:04 pm
You had me at Outback! Oh Lordy, I need some cheese fries and some friends to eat them with.
August 2nd, 2006 at 6:09 pm
LOL! I’m a pre-planner too, but I miss the days when I didn’t really have to do that- it’s just a necessity now. (Oh, and I don’t even know how to use fabric softener…I just use dryer sheets, does that count?)
August 2nd, 2006 at 6:27 pm
Careful! You’re crossing over to the dark side.
Do you know how hard I’m trying to be more like you and women like you, with lists and organization, and then you go and throw caution to the wind. Do you want me to take pictures of my “problem areas”. Would that dissuade you from flirting with this monster? ;-)
August 2nd, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Oh, you’re so reckless! :)
The pointy end of the pyramid is my favorite place!!
I am usually OCD, but with grocery shopping? Forget it! My husband does all that – thank goodness! If it were up to me we’d have Little Debbie’s Fudge Rounds and Cheerwine for dinner every night! :)
August 2nd, 2006 at 8:12 pm
are you telling me there’s another way to shop besides random grabbing as you speed down each aisle? believe me our food pyramid is so skewed i’m surprised we’re not all leaning.
August 3rd, 2006 at 2:23 am
I have to tell you I am with you. Lists are the best inventions yet. I’ll one up ya. I overheard someone talking about this and thought they were crazy until I tried it. I have a grocery list saved on my computer. I print it each week, magnetize (there’s a word for TRiels) it to my fridge. Then I highlight what items I need to buy. I have the items organized by section of Wal-Mart. It really makes me more efficient since Kate and Adam now accompany me on all my outings.
Love, Mel
August 3rd, 2006 at 4:39 am
You are quite the wild one aren’t you? Speeding down aisles, throwing things in your cart all willy nilly, wish I’d have been there to see it.
August 3rd, 2006 at 11:23 pm
Boo Mama, You are an inspiration, love and courage for your friend whose husband died, exhibiting complete abandon while shopping at Walmart. (Just once, I’d love doing that), and remembering what’s the very most important, that loving and caring doesn’t do any good, unless you make sure the other person knows that you do. Keep it up, Southern lady. The world needs more caring souls like you. Judith.
August 5th, 2006 at 6:47 am
It’s the perfect list! Lip stuff and Gain are just crucial, nuff said.
November 25th, 2006 at 12:42 am
[...] Throwing All Grocery-Esque Caution To The Wind [...]
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