When D.’s grandmother, Sissie, fell this past weekend and broke her hip, we were understandably concerned. She’s 96, weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet, and she’s increasingly frail (which makes perfect sense what with her being 96 and 100 pounds and all).
So when we got the news that her surgery to set the hip was scheduled for Sunday morning, D. and his brother, who was here visiting, decided that they’d better head on over so that they could be there. Sissie has managed to combat all manner of ills with little more than a baby aspirin and a multi-vitamin, but surgery for someone her age is Serious Business. So late Saturday night, the brothers headed to Mississippi.
Around 6:45 Sunday morning, D. and Scott went to the hospital so they could see Sissie before she went into surgery. Sissie was very nervous and had taken a “val-yum,” as my mother-in-law Martha says, about thirty minutes beforehand – pretty stiff medication for someone whose idea of heavy pharmaceutical usage is taking two Bayer aspirin within four hours of each other.
So when D. and Scott walked in Sissie’s hospital room, she was, for all intents and purposes, hammered. And when they started talking to her, Sissie’s only reply was, “Where are they, Martha? WHERE ARE THEY?”
Martha explained to Sissie that she should quit looking toward the ceiling in the hopes of seeing her grandsons and should instead look to her left.
Once Sissie was wheeled into the operating room, D. and Scott had the distinct pleasure of listening to Martha talk with her friends Mary Ann and Rubena (I am not making up that name. HOW COULD I?) about all manner of serious issues: the high cost of cable television, the high cost of electrical power, the high cost of gasoline, etc. D. vows that at one point Rubena started a sentence with the phrase, “Speaking of cutting your head off…,” and I really have no idea what she said after that because really, why does it matter in light of such a brilliant segue?
A couple of hours later, Sissie was back in her room. The surgery went well, and – I KID YOU NOT – these were her first words as she came out from under the anesthesia:
“Martha, will you put my lipstick on for me?”
I mean, breaking her hip was one thing. Having surgery to set it was another. But not having color on her lips as she received visitors would be insult to any Southern woman’s injury.
It all makes perfect sense to me.
Trina says:
Only a Southern woman would have such a request at that age right after Surgery. Priceless!
November 30th, 1999 at 12:00 am
the other sarah says:
Glad to hear the surgery went well. My Grandpa had hip surgery at 98, and two years later he walked - WALKED! - into his 100th birthday party. I don’t think he requested lipstick after the surgery, though. ;)
September 26th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
Big Mama says:
That just goes to show that when your 96, you have your priorities straight and know it’s better to look good than to feel good. :)
Glad she’s doing well.
September 26th, 2006 at 8:19 pm
Chris says:
Oh I am so glad that you’ve posted pictures before of this precious woman. It just brings your story to life.
September 26th, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Mom In Action says:
Wow, I needed to laugh out loud today and the whole “Speaking of cutting your head off,” had me in stitches.
September 26th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
Minnie says:
I seriously want to adopt Sissy as MY grandmother. She is hysterical!
So glad she is doing well.
September 26th, 2006 at 9:26 pm
Cheryl says:
So glad Sissie is recovering so well. She sounds like quite a character and I bet she was a corker when she was younger!
September 26th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Karla ~ Looking Towards Heaven says:
Glad to hear that Sissie is doing well.
This reminds me of me great aunt (another fine Southern woman).
Also a hip story. (Is that just par for the course??)
She fell and broke her hip at a hotel with my mom, grandmother (her sister) and my mom’s sisters. They got to giggling so hard while waiting for the ambulance that she must have “tinkled”.
All my great aunt was concerned with was that they change her underwear before the ambulance workers arrived. Of course, this made them all laugh harder.
It was hopeless. ;)
September 26th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
suzanne says:
I never understood why my mamma always put her lipstick on to go somewhere, even if she had not a stitch of any other makeup on…..until I grew up. NOW. I. KNOW!!!!!!!
I am convinced that Sissie has her priorities and her good sense in tact. What a woman! She sounds like a delight!
September 26th, 2006 at 10:05 pm
Roxanne says:
I needed the laugh. Glad Sissie is recuperating nicely and that her lips are moisturized to boot.
September 26th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
ek says:
Sweet Sissy!!! I just want to give her big big love. God love her for wanting to look presentable!!! Heaven help if a Southern woman is caught EVER without her lipstick. I just might be outlawed!!:)
September 26th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
tt says:
I love that woman! She is a precious gem, that Sissie. I’m glad she’s on the road to recovery.
September 26th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Kathy says:
Oh that is my kind of girl. I would ask for the exact same thing, bless her heart!!
September 27th, 2006 at 12:19 am
Melanie@thisaintnewyork says:
I am dying laughing! My granny would have also said to mama,”Put my teeth in.” :>)
September 27th, 2006 at 1:30 am
Kristi says:
I do not know her, but I love this woman! She is the epitome of all charm, class, style, and grace that should be in every good Southern woman. I must go now, even though it is almost time for bed, I think I should freshen up my lipstick!
Kristi
September 27th, 2006 at 1:43 am
Sandy says:
Sissy sounds wonderful! And I was laughing to beat the band at “Speaking of cutting your head off…”! Too funny!
September 27th, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Addie says:
I love your Martha and Sissy stories! Glad it all went well, and that the her reported drug use didn’t affect her priorities (as in ‘lipstick’).
And, how nice that the boys had so much entertainment while waiting for her to come out of surgery!
OH! And speaking of cutting your head off…
September 27th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Shalee says:
She is a true Southern woman! So happy to hear that all went well for her surgery. You have your own set of entertainment, don’t you? =)
September 27th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
JenMom says:
LOVE. IT. I woman after my own Southern heart!
September 27th, 2006 at 8:13 pm
Leslie says:
That is too funny. She’s got good sense. That is when everybody comes to see you–when your in the hospital. It’s the same reason that when I’m at my parent’s house I always put on makeup before heading to Wal-mart. That is the other place where you see everybody.
September 27th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
Nancy says:
makes perfect sense to me. For a span of about ten years (age 18-28) the first thing Mom used to say to me was, “do you want to borrow my lipstick?”
September 27th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
Nancy says:
I didn’t mean to put that smiley; it was supposed to say 28.
BTW, she has given up having me wear enough lipstick; I apply it about twice a day.
September 27th, 2006 at 8:47 pm
Pastomac's Ann says:
A true Southern Belle she is. Glad that she’s going to be OK.
September 27th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
Stacey says:
That’s the first thing I always ask for when I come out from surgery : )
That sounds like something my Grandma would do.
September 27th, 2006 at 11:08 pm
Gulley says:
Boomama, I laughed out loud. So hilarious! I am so glad she is ok, and I know that in Bryan when anyone has a surgery it is a social hour for Nena. A few years ago my Mom had to have her gall bladder removed and right before they were about to wheel her out Nena leaned down to her as if to give her a kiss to send her off but instead said, “Your breath is JUST AWFUL!”
September 28th, 2006 at 1:40 am
Sarah in the Midst of It says:
Hilarious.
And so was Gulley’s comment!
This is why I love blogging:)
September 28th, 2006 at 2:02 am
Lea Margaret says:
Does she wear pink or red?
September 28th, 2006 at 2:40 am