Our New Year’s Rockin’ Eve

We have been the Sneezy McSickersons at our house today, thanks to a monster of a cold / sinus infection that Mama was kind enough to pass along to all of us when she was visiting for Christmas.

It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Unfortunately, Alex is about two days ahead of D. and me in the recovery process, which means that the youngster has a major case of cabin fever and two parents who don’t much want to venture outside the “cabin,” as it were. To add insult to injury, Alex ripped up a DVD case (why? I have no idea, but the people at Blockbuster will be none too pleased with his handiwork), lost his TV privileges for the day, and do y’all have any idea how it’s taking every ounce of strength I have not to cave and let my child watch “Max and Ruby,” for pete’s sake?

You see, the problem with punishment is that you have to enforce it. Which totally stinks. Especially when your head is swollen to twice its normal size and stuffed with cotton.

So, to entertain himself, Alex has been removing the attachments from the vacuum cleaner and using them as microphones, mostly saying, “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, it’s MAAAAAAH-MAAAAAAAH!” And then I take the stage, sneeze, and blow my nose. Tickets are going for upwards of a penny, so you’d better order yours quickly because there’s no question that the show is going to be a sell-out.

We have also made pretend phone calls to Mickey Mouse, Batman, Superman, Donald Duck, Goofy, the grandparents, and all the aunts and uncles. And do y’all know what’s CRAZY? According to the information that Alex says they’re giving him, they all got Criss Cross Crash for Christmas. ISN’T THAT UNCANNY? Alex has also called Mickey Mouse to tell him that we’re going to make some chocolate chip cookies and to ask him to excuse him because he “pooted and had gas,” and if y’all would just remind me that the next time I have some sort of cold and Alex misbehaves, I need to come up with an alternate form of punishment that does not involve taking away the television.

(By the way, right now D. and Alex are playing Criss Cross Crash, and it’s so loud that I feel like I need to TYPE IN ALL CAPS JUST SO YOU CAN HEAR ME.)

So here’s our plan for the evening, once we get the child into bed:

1) Sneeze
2) Wipe nose
3) Repeat

If we get really wild and crazy I guess we’ll wipe each other’s noses, but maybe not, because, well, EWWWW.

I actually did get my Christmas decorations put away today, and that was a huge accomplishment because I kept breaking out in a cold sweat and having to sit down and fan myself (in a word: ATTRACTIVE), and I found myself getting a little reflective about 2006. I don’t know if that was because I was running a touch of fever or because I was actually examining my life thoughtfully (stranger things have happened), but I think I’ll probably write some of that stuff down and post it tomorrow when everyone’s too tired from their New Year’s Eve festivities to care. Because I like to bury the thoughtful stuff in places where no one can find it, you see.

So now it’s almost 10, and Alex is asleep, and the dogs are all snug in their beds (it took some doing because Maggie the lab is terrified of the sound of fireworks and had a full fledged anxiety attack about 7, right around the time when Alex was calling Mickey Mouse and telling him all about his gastric woes), and I think I’m going to watch a movie.

I know! A movie!

I think it’s pretty clear that I’m planning to LIVE ON THE EDGE in 2007.

Happy New Year, everybody.

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Comments

  1. Well, I think your movie plans beat my exciting evening of watching a PBS “New Years Eve at the Ryman Auditorium” special. I’ve seen a lot of blue grass entertainment that I’ve never before been exposed to. Being the northerner that I am. Happy New Year!

  2. I definitely think that you should not take t.v. away next time you’re sick!! I admire your keeping with the punishment, even though it punished you more than it did him! Feel better soon!

  3. Seeing as how I’m reading this post at 10:30 and am about to go to bed, you can tell my New Year’s Eve has been every bit as exciting.

    If you’d watch a little Max and Ruby, Ruby might be able to give you some good alternative forms of punishment as opposed to taking the T.V. away. She is one bossy rabbit.

  4. I feel your pain.

    It is right this moment 11 PM in the night, and I am preparing to waddle up the stairs to bed. I’m at the tail end of your cold, having gotten mine on CHRISTMAS DAY of all things…talk about the Gift of Gifts. Misery loving company and all that, Hubster gave it to me. I just can’t keep my hands off of that fine specimen of a man, and now I’m suffering for it. Sigh. I do love me that man!

    Happiest of New Years to you and yours, m’dear.

  5. Congratulations on winning CWO’s Most Humorous Blog Award!!!

    Considering it’s 10PM in my time zone, you can tell my New Years is just about as exciting as yours. My toddler Julia spent the last couple of weeks so sick with that wretched bug and I’m still trying to get her back on a suitable sleep schedule… so I didn’t dare go out and risk her waking up and not sleeping until 2am.

    But, it’s no big deal, because I’m not one for New Year’s parties. Instead I’m catching up on three weeks worth of email and I feel like I’m getting a head start on 2007!

    Anyway… HAPPY NEW YEAR… and Congrats on being recognized as the funniest Christian blogger out there! (But we all knew it before anyway. ;)

  6. Happy new year to you and yours! I’m looking forward to sharing many more laughs with you in 2007!

    Praying recovery will happen QUICKLY for all of you!

  7. Congratulations on the award! Maybe you are too sick to have seen it. Great way to start the new year. Now get back in bed, and get better asap! Happy New Year to you and your family!

  8. Congratulations on the CWO award! Awesome way to start the New Year.

    We’ve had to eat our words with a side of regret when we’ve used the TV, or lack thereof as a punishment. We’re hoping that someday soon “corporate punishment” (docking the allowance) will be effective. Happy New Year!

  9. I love reading your blog….so funny and caring and (the OCD thing touches a chord here!)I find that sitting at the computer reading, musing on life, and counting my blessings, just calms me … (you know, like if the cushions are the wrong way around ‘cos the kids dont care about stuff like that, and then I re-arrange them, I feel calmed…gosh this does make me sound like a crazy lady doesnt it?)so thanks and keep up the good work …I wish you and yours a happy and healthy new year.

  10. Well, I wish you a quick recovery! I hate being sick, and quite truthfully it makes the household go crazy when kids think mom is too tired and sick to care about anything! Get better Fast! HAPPY 2007!

  11. You didn’t visit my blog last week, did you? Cuz I was sneezing to beat the band, and I’d hate to think that you caught my sinus infection.

    I can top your New Year’s Eve…I spent it in the hospital with my VERY pregnant daughter-in-law, who was having contractions every 2-3 minutes which were, unbelievably, not dilating her past 1 centimeter. (Sorry to say dilating on your blog…)

    We got home at 2:30am, no baby yet. But the boy my kids and hers were up and at’em at 7am, so we’re giddy around here from lack of sleep.

    And yes, the contractions continue…

  12. Here’s praying that you all feel much better today!

    I am so happy you won the CWO award! You certainly deserve it!

    Sherry

  13. Congrats on the award, and I do hope ya’ll feel better soon. It stinks when you are sick and your little one isn’t….he’s got some energy, that Alex!! One day that will be a very good thing!

  14. Sorry y’all are sickly. But I’m really envious that you’ve got your Christmas put away. And I’m just now in the B’s of my blogroll.

  15. I am so sorry you are sick.

    I think I had the same stinking virus in early december, and there is nothing good to say about it. I tried to be as inhospitable to it as possible (a major feat for a girl who grew up in rural Manitoba Canada), but it insisted on lingering.

    We totally did the fake calling thing too, and then we also did the real calling thing as we have unlimited long distance in the US and Canada, so the blessing was our daughter talking to her grandmas on the phone while I rested….

    Hope you feel better VERY SOON!

  16. Phyllis R. says:

    Being a parent is NOT for sissies! I have heard the words, “You’re grounded from the TV!” come out of my mouth and then I think, “Oh Lord….now what?!” Now that mine are teens, add: cell phone, computer, CAR, and stir in a good dose of HORMONES, and well, I really try to encourage good behavior, because I cannot stand it (for myself) when they are grounded! I hope you are feeling better soon, and that Alex is on his best behavior!