In Which I Am Resolved

Yesterday I had an industrial-sized bout of PMS, which meant that I spent a good portion of the day fighting off a full-fledged temper tantrum over all manner of Terribly Serious Issues. (For example: Alex ate around the edges of his biscuits. The edges are the best part. Eating around them makes no sense at all. How could he possibly have developed such a habit? Clearly I have Failed Motherhood.)

And then, to add insult to injury, I had to, like, share air with other people.

In short, I was a delight. Southern charm personified.

But wait! There’s more! When I dropped Alex off at his Sunday School class, he grabbed the door handle and would not let go as he Screamed Many Screams In A Fit Of High-Pitched Screamy Madness.

Since he usually walks into his classroom with a level of unbridled enthusiasm akin to what I feel when perusing the 75% off rack at Steinmart(s), I really didn’t know what to make of his reaction. He kept saying that he wanted to go to big church, no, he wanted to go home, no, he wanted to go to his class but not without mama, no, he wanted to eat cookies, no, he wanted Daddy, no, he wanted A VEGGIE TALES MOOOOOOOO-VIE, so I finally picked him up, took him out in the hallway, and snarled the following words through my gritted teeth:

“You have a choice. You can go in your class. Or we can go home. But if we go home, understand that you can’t watch TV, you can’t watch movies, and you can’t go with me to walk the puppy dogs. Do you understand?”

“I don’t understand, Mama.”

“Oh, [trying not to hiss in the middle of the pre-school wing as such behavior is not a reflection of the fruit of the Spirit] I. think. you. do. You have two options. What’s your choice?”

He opted for his class. And when he finally walked in the room, he was all calm and nonchalant and “good morning, everybody” as he took his place in the storytime circle.

Meanwhile I had broken a sweat – complete with hair plastered to my forehead – and needed a serious dose of blood pressure medication or at the very least a stout shot of whiskey before I headed back to the sanctuary.

Happy Sunday, everybody! Peace and love of the Lord be with you!

I don’t know why I’m even surprised anymore when Sundays take a nosedive. I have long contended that it’s the primary day when the devil loves to get up in our junk, and yet I was somehow shocked when my child misbehaved, when I had a mental block about the sermon, when I found myself thinking about Why The Pre-Schooler Is On My Nerves instead of reflecting on the blessing of his little life, not to mention the goodness and mercy of God.

(And if your child has never gotten on your nerves, I salute you. You’re obviously not a human, but I salute you nonetheless, Friendly Robot-Type Creature.)

So anyway. Fast forward.

After church we went to our favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch, and Alex was obviously trying to win an award for Loudest Child Ever. I, on the other hand, was trying to smack down the mighty hormones so that my response to the Loudest Child Ever would reflect some semblance of patience. It wasn’t as easy as you might think.

A few minutes into our lunch, the manager of the restaurant came over to our table, mainly to speak to Alex. They’ve gotten to be good buddies over the last three years, and as the manager started to speak, Alex stood up in his seat, stuck out his little arm, looked at the restaurant manager and said, “Wait wait wait – I need to tell you something.”

“What’s that?” the manager asked.

Alex looked him straight in the eyes, grabbed his arm, and said (loudly, of course), “God! Cares! About! You!”

The manager was a little confused, not sure of what was said, so he asked Alex to repeat himself.

And once again the little man proclaimed, “God! Cares! About! You!”

He wasn’t so much on my nerves at that point. Mainly because I was trying not to cry in the presence of such overwhelming sweetness.

Now granted, the little man wasn’t trying to round up folks for a tent meeting. He was simply repeating a variation of the Bible verse they’d talked about in his Sunday School class. But the more I’ve thought about what he did, the more I’ve realized what I don’t do, the ways I let my boldness get swallowed up by my circumstances.

Alex learned that God cares about people. And he told somebody. He did something. He took that little bit of Truth, and he acted on it. He shared it.

I would do well to do the same.

So, I have one more goal for the year that I’m going to add to the list. Since right now there’s only one thing on the list (“Keep Moving”), I think adding something new is perfectly permissible.

And here’s the new goal: find some ways to love on some people.

Why? Because God cares about them.

The first love-a-thon is already in the works. God’s timing is good like that.

More details tomorrow….

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  1. Emma Kate says:

    Laughing and Crying at the same time. Sweet Alex. What a wonderful lesson to follow!! Love you!!

  2. You do. You have. No fear. Love you.

  3. You have me in stitches! LOL
    Not laughing at you, but at your circumstance. It has been many years since I was attacked with PMS but I do remember well. With five children and a very grumpy husband to contend with those days have not been tossed out with the other trash. They are imbedded into my soul forever I think. The good news is we survive it. So do the children and husbands.
    I’ve often wondered if the Lord allows these hormonal disturbances in women so their family’s will learn to respect them.
    Your little boy makes a mighty good preacher.

  4. I have had many Sundays just like that.

    If anyone ever says that their child doesn’t get on their nerves, they are lying or just in denial. Or maybe they just don’t spend enough time with their kids.

    God has a way of remindiing me through my daughter that He just keeps working in spite of me. :>)

  5. I love this post! It has everything– humor, sweetness, PMS, God…just everything. Thanks for giving me great bedtime reading tonight!

  6. Our little “evangelists” can be something else. I was right there with you yesterday as I must have felt I had a big S on my chest as I took the girls to church by myself….something I have not had to do in YEARS….and I am sure my Degree had really kicked into high gear by the time we got there…15 minutes late and all.

  7. I’m now convinced that the reason our early service is so well attended by young parents is not for the toddler nap factor, but for the WINE! The Communion Wine!

  8. Boomama I love you more than ever. Really. Nothing like pms to make us soul sisters forever. Not in a stalker kinda way of course LOL. xoxo melzie

  9. Your new goal for the year is much like mine. I realized the other day that I have told more people about just how much I love my tivo than how much I love Jesus and that He died for their sins so they may go to heaven and have eternal life. Ironic, huh? A stupid tv box (well, not THAT stupid, but you get my point) was what I shared with people instead of what the Savior means to my life. And their’s for that matter. So stupid. Just plain stupid.
    Now is this to say that I’ll be camping out on street corners? No! But I will make certain that everyone I know that I am not certain is a beliver will hear at least once from me that Jesus is Lord.
    If that doesn’t work, maybe I can borrow Alex? SURELY someone will listen to a cute boy!

  10. Go, Alex! (On the evangelizing part, not on the part of raising your blood pressure ;). Isn’t it amazing how simple children keep it–that is what we need to do, just let people know that God cares for and loves them!


  11. Sunday…mmm…yeah. Have ya read this?

    Yeah, I understand….

    Mary, mom to many

  12. BooMama. Thanks for sharing this. Thanks.

  13. Erma Bombeck with a meaningful message!

    Laughed so hard I cried…then read it to my daughter who well has much empathy with PMS and a four year old!!

  14. Oh I know those Sundays! Bless his little heart.

  15. What a great post! My kids are all grown and you take me back to those treasured days. I always look forward to reading your blog!

  16. i think the child’s emotions go wacky when the mom’s hormones do. i know it cannot all be me.

    sounds like you have a good plan.

  17. Oh, this was a good one!! I can relate to the PMS and Sunday factors. Why is it that they occur at the same time?!?! I loved hearing about Alex sharing his Sunday school lesson. How awesome!! Thanks for being real (and being funny too). Your blog brings a smile to my face!

  18. What a beautiful post…funny and heartwrenching at the same time! I want to love on some people, too! Have a great week!

  19. I am so glad to know that Sunday is the universal day of attack.
    I am glad to know that at least one other person gets annoyed at their childred.
    I was extremely glad to find out that my child may learn something in Sunday School and share it… and remind me to do the same!! Thank you… a good post is one that makes you laugh and cry all at the same time!

  20. I pray to remember this very post when I’m having one of those Sundays! Thanks for sharing!

  21. I am cracking up! Every Sunday, the children’s behaviour seems to go to “hell in a hand basket”. I’m glad you’ve noticed that “nosedive”. And for PMS…my tongue might as well bleed from all the biting I do to not say something I might later regret.

  22. Oh, I’ve been THERE!!!! Sounds vaguely familiar….few questions to ask God when I get to heaven….why do we have to have PMS and independent toddlers at the same time….why do we have to go thru peri and full blown menopause and have TEENAGERS at the SAME TIME? I see a pattern here, and it’s called Motherhood….and there’s is not much more sanctifying than that role!!! God love him, that Alex is born to be a preacher….get him some patent leather shoes!! ;-)

  23. Just another reason I love children. They are just wonderful, even sometimes when they’re being annoying.


  24. What a great story! I love it. Thanks for sharing.

  25. Oh yea, I’ve been there…am there with the kids and the pms….Joy to the World!

  26. You know since I started coming to your blog I watch less and less TV. You can’t find this kind of entertainment on any channel. Too funny! Every think about your own reality show?

  27. “I have long contended that it’s the primary day when the devil loves to get up in our junk”
    This is GREAT!! I have felt the same way MANY MANY times. And yes, what mother can say her child hasn’t gotten on her nerves. We are human afterall. Doesn’t mean we don’t love them to pieces.

  28. WHOA! You are writing! For some reason you’re not showing up in my bloglines so I came over al concerned-like to say I miss you and lo and behold BEHIND MY BACK you’ve been writing. I’ve got some serious catching up to do.

    Oh, and I HATE when people expect to share my air. Jack-legs.

  29. sundays are for certain the most stressful day of the week. Satan is defintitely working his minions hard on that day!


  30. Glad I am not the only one with these days. Sharing air does seem to be an issue some days…lol

  31. This is precious:)

    And a good reminder for me today, when my children are on my nerves, too. (Not a robot.)

  32. I totally remember having a preschooler… and I hate to say it, but they just get more stubborn the more they learn! lol

    I have the PMS monster right along with you — and your description of how you feel is RIGHT ON SISTER!

    And oh, how I just loved hearing about Alex in the Chinest restaurant! Totally brought tears to my eyes!


  33. Oh man, what an incredible post. Laughing and crying just like a woman should! Thank you for sharing and enlightening us all today!
    And a special thanks to Alex for opening our eyes!

  34. What an amazing little man you have! Isn’t it nice to know that God’s teachings are sinking in? Hope you have fewer tantrums before church in the future. I remember those days.

  35. Phyllis R. says:

    I think you can already check off “show God’s love to others”. You do so every single day in this blog of yours.

    This is a ministry; I am completely convinced of that.

  36. Oh, that Alex. Funny how they can be on your last every-lovin’ nerve one moment and wrenching your heart out of your chest the next. God gives them that skill in order to survive, of course. Tell Alex thanks for the lesson for me.

  37. Warn me to get my steel toe boots out next time. God has used you today, my friend.


  38. Oh–another embarrassing night here at my house. I’m laughing out loud (in a been-there-done that way) at the scene in the hallway, and then you do me in with the “friendly robot-type person” name. So, I get another weird look from my husband. I did share it with him, but my delivery was flawed because I kept cracking up, but I think he was mildly amused.

  39. First of all, I love your blog! Had to comment…I have long thought that when our pastor prayed that God would “drive away those things that would distract us” at the beginning of the worship service, that the announcement for children to be dismissed to Children’s Church was the answer to that prayer! ;)


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