I forgot to tell y’all something!
I did!
And you’re not going to believe where. Well, yeah you probably will. But first, an explanation.
I read every single one of your eighty eight comments about blue jeans, and I investigated most of the recommended jeans on the interweb. Style-wise I really liked several of them, and y’all are so jean-savvy that you actually told me about brands I didn’t even know existed. I did recognize the Gloria Vanderbilt brand, however, because when I was in fifth grade I had some aqua green GV corduroys (complete with the swan logo on the hip pocket), and I used to wear them to the skating rink and keep my comb in my back pocket just like I liked it. I could scarcely make it around the rink one time before I had to whip out that plastic Goody comb; it seems that even at the ripe old age of ten I realized that skating might great for the legs, but it’s flat-out murder on the hair.
[And don't even pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. Your jeans may have been Chic instead of Gloria Vanderbilt, but you totally had that comb in your back pocket. Oh yes ma'am you did. And you sure enough used it right before you got ready for a couple skate. YEAH you did.]
[And hands up if you did the cross-over-arms-hold-hands-with-a-partner-lean-back-and-skate-in-a-circle move.]
Anyway, I was resolved to hit the mall and shop for jeans a couple of weekends ago, but then I remembered that I hate a mall. I really do. We have a big Shopping Extravaganza with every store you’d ever need and/or want about ten minutes from our house, and I never, ever want to go. It overwhelms me. I figure that between all the stores there are at least 174 brands of denim from which to choose, and while I wanted to be adventurous and try on every single brand y’all recommended, I couldn’t do it. I worried that I would get to the fifth brand and lose my mind in the dressing room and run through the store with the legs of the jeans on my arms and be all, “RARRRR! RARRRR!” as I tried to escape from my denim prison.
And y’all would be terribly disappointed in me.
So I decided that it made to the most sense to limit my search to the stores I visit almost daily: Walmart(s) and Steinmart(s).
Why, you ask?
1) Because both stores are close to my house.
and
2) Because I am cheap.
My friend Lea Margaret swears by a brand called Jeanstar that they (supposedly) carry at Steinmart(s), so I thought I’d try those first. OH! But this was after I bought a pair of jeans at Ross for TWELVE NINETY NINE that actually fit pretty well but, according to D., made me look like someone who was secretly hoping to leave her life as a mama behind so that she could join an all-girl hip-hop group. Which is perfectly understandable, really, because I do have some mad rapping skillz.
Anyway, my Steinmart(s) does not carry the Jeanstar brand, apparently, but I did try on a different brand that seemed like they might have some potential until I realized that they had a big glittery butterfly decal on the right leg. And I know they’re God’s creatures and all, but I am terribly frightened of butterflies what with that whole larvae stage and cocoon emergence and what have you, not to mention the fact that if I was planning to wear blue jeans with a butterfly on the leg, I probably should’ve gotten that out of my system back in my skating rink days. They would’ve looked fabulous with a Goody comb tucked in the back pocket.
So then I went to Walmart(s) because I remembered T. at There Is A Season’s comment where she mentioned something about Faded Glory jeans. Actually I think she said “FG jeans,” but I knew what the initials stood for because I am all about some Walmart fashion.
To make a long story endless, I will tell you that the Faded Glory stretch boot cut jeans are my favorite jeans ever. They come up high enough over a post-baby belly (yes, I had my child almost four years ago, but apparently I hold on to that extra flab because I’m, I don’t know? sentimental about it? maybe?) so that the dreaded muffin-top effect is but a faint memory. They’re also cut really long in the legs so that they look great with boots – and they’re generous enough in the thighs that they make a nice, straight line from your hips to your knees, thereby concealing those pesky saddlebags, not that I have any of those since I’m a size 2 and weigh 104 pounds.
Pardon me while I clear my throat for a moment.
Also, the Faded Glory stretch bootcuts jeans don’t have any “adornment” on the pockets except for some very simple stitching, and I love that because I’m not sure why any mama would want and/or need reflective bedazzling on her rear end. At least in my case, big silver studs across the back pockets of jeans do nothing but create a marquee effect, a marquee that’s pretty much telling everyone to LOOK HERE because it’s BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE.
Best of all? Faded Glory stretch boot cut jeans are less than $20. LESS THAN TWENTY DOLLARS.
Now all I need is a comb and some roller skates, and I’ll be good to go.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Oh my goodness I just bought some Jeanstar tonight for $14.95, on the sale rack thank you very much, 50% off. I did not even know they were “suppose” to be good jeans. Next time I will have to check out the Faded Glory.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:14 pm
So I should ditch the suggestion that you getchew some velour pants with the big sparkly BLING in script across the rear end?
What about JUICY?
Oh yeah. No place for the comb. Rats.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:17 pm
I am fairly new to your blog, but am laughing hysterically because you are so describing my teenage years at the skating rink! And funny thing, just the other day I asked a girl at the office what kind of jeans she had on because they looked fabulous and lo and behold, they were from Wal-Mart! Guess I’ll be heading over to Wally World real soon and will be a return visitor to your blog!
February 1st, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Reflective bedazzling …. marquee …. comb in the pocket…..
Oh. My. Word.
*snort*
*snort* *snort*
*snort* snort* *guffaw* *chortle* choke* *snort* *wheeze* *rolling on floor* *hysterical* *gasping* *snort*
February 1st, 2007 at 9:27 pm
sounds like you hit upon a bargain and a very stylish pair of jeans. you must be the shopping queen. thanks for sharing that very valuable information for the rest of us moms, still dealing with the muffin top.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Yo-yo-yo dog!
I was just auditioning for that all girl hip-hop group you might be starting. ;-)
And Jeana, really the comb factor is the ONLY reason why I don’t wear Juicy bling on my back end! :D
February 1st, 2007 at 9:31 pm
“LOOK HERE because it’s BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE.”
Makes me think of “75% more FREE” stickers on shampoo – you are HILarious
February 1st, 2007 at 9:38 pm
That is some funny stuff. Congrats on the new jeans! :)
February 1st, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Jean shopping is a form of torture for me and has been since the preteen years. They don’t make jeans for ladies with womanly figures. I’m not large, just curvy. I’m seriously depressed after jean shopping and feel like I need to hit the bar for a few afterward. It is just too stressful. I currently own 1 pair and I just keep washing them. I’ll have to try the FG stretch boot cut. Maybe I can move up to 2 pairs. OOO, the luxury.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:42 pm
You GO GIRL!!! I’m thoroughly impressed!!
February 1st, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Chic
Gloria Vanderbilt
Calvin Klein
Izods
Members Only jackets
Tretorns
Add a bead necklaces
Good times, I tell you. GOOD TIMES.
Only I could never do the cross arm thingie cause I could never skate backwards and neither could the dorks I skated with.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:50 pm
HOW CAN YOU MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH SO HARD OVER A PAIR OF JEANS?? Will you adopt me and make me laugh ALL.DAY.LONG.?
I think a picture is in order!
February 1st, 2007 at 9:52 pm
I can just smell the Final Net Extra Hold that would waft from my shellacked hair- DON’T at Skate World. Talk about sweating to the oldies! Love that you found some jeans that will BEDAZZLE for all the right reasons!
February 1st, 2007 at 10:00 pm
And I’m always to embarrassed to actually try on clothes at wal-mart. It all stems back to junior high when only dorks wore wal-mart and I had to have the cool stuff and wouldn’t be caught dead even looking in the direction of the wal-mart clothes. I’m old now. I’m a mom. I need to GET OVER IT.
Congrats on your jeans.
February 1st, 2007 at 10:09 pm
As soon as you post a picture of you in your new jeans, I’ll be sendin’ ya the rainbow laces for your skates. Cuz it’s all about those laces ya know.
Gayle
February 1st, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Yes, please post a picture of those jeans (on or off). I, too, thought I couldn’t buy Wal-Mart jeans, but mommy figures make us rethink such ideas. I would like to own more pairs of jeans that didn’t require me to tuck my excess, post-pregnancy, tummy skin into the waistband.
February 1st, 2007 at 10:20 pm
I still have and use my bright yellow Goody comb! My daughter came home from school the other day and said she had to take something “really old, like from the 80’s” to school for a project. I immediately thought of my comb, since I’ve had it since 1978! My jeans were Chic! I love how you call it Wal-mart(s) and Steinmart(s)!
February 1st, 2007 at 10:23 pm
And I swanee by my Lee Riders (mid-rise, stretch, boot cut) from Walmart(s). Love them.
February 1st, 2007 at 10:27 pm
I had those aqua Gloria Vanderbilt jeans in the fourth grade, I had the comb in my back pocket, and yes ma’am I skated in a circle with crossed arms while leaning back.
Does it say something that as Moms we are buying jeans called Faded Glory?
February 1st, 2007 at 10:36 pm
I love this post!
February 1st, 2007 at 10:39 pm
I had the comb, yes, but mine was a truly horrible olive green. NOT COOL. Apparently it was on sale and my ever so frugal/thrifty mother bought me one as I’d been coveting one for ages. So pity me. I was not hip. Sniff.
I buy Gap Classic Fit jeans and get this…I buy them off ebay!!! USED JEANS!! Can you imagine?? That is so not me, but they’re at least $50 on the Gap website!! A few years ago I bought four pairs off ebay and they’re just starting to wear down in the knees (a childless friend asked why on earth my jeans get holes in the knees at my age…she doesn’t understand how much time I spend on the floor with the kids!!) so it’s time to hit ebay again. Bet I could find a hip comb there, too.
February 1st, 2007 at 10:41 pm
I never skated with a comb.
February 1st, 2007 at 10:46 pm
I know what you mean about a muffin top.
Wal-mart also carry’s a jean called denim riders….they have a longer crouch and more seat room.They are a stretchy jean,that helps a lot.I like to be able to get my hands in my pockets without a shoe horn,thank you very much.
the panels below the waist band give a more comfortable fit plus they stretch when you need.I hate pants so tight,that when you sit down it feels like you grow another chest set;).
Have a good day Mrs Boo,and hug the “Little One” for me.
February 1st, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Too funny……
My daughter used to love to say my jeans brand should be, “Caution-Wide Load”.
But jokes on her…she inherited my junque in da trunque……*bwahahaha!*
(it’s just that HER trunk is a LOT littler than MY trunk)
February 1st, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Boot cut jeans are a mama’s best friend.
How you can make jean shopping so entirely satisfying and entertaining is beyond me. You have a gift. All I can write about is poop.
And Pace can totally do the worm–he used to breakdance steps on the courthouse steps in Charlotte for money when he was little. Y’all should get together sometime. :-)
February 1st, 2007 at 11:19 pm
GV jeans? Check.
Skating rink? Check.
Cross-over-arms-hold-hands-with-a-partner-lean-back-and-skate-in-a-circle move? SOOOOOO check!
Comb in back pocket? Have you seen my profile photo?
February 1st, 2007 at 11:26 pm
Y’all CRACK. ME. UP.
I just don’t think I fit in with this group of mamas. I never even owned a pair of roller skates. Gasp! I’m afraid *this* mama was wearing Huggies when the comb was in your back pocket. I’m doomed to be a mixture of generations, it seems. Sigh.
February 2nd, 2007 at 12:02 am
The only thing I don’t like about the Faded Glory jeans is that I take one size larger in them than my Gap ones (or my Gloria Vanderbilt for that matter). I know it shouldn’t matter to me, but I’m shallow like that… even if I cut the tag off, I still remember the number…
Mary, mom to many
February 2nd, 2007 at 12:16 am
I’m one of those that am reminded of my high school days when only Levi’s were cool jeans and girls who wore FG were made fun of. However, after having Zach, I found those fit me best. Just last week I had to break down and find a new pair, ended up buying a pair at Ross (forget the brand) for 12.99. I used to wear jeans from Old Navy but they stopped carrying the bigger sizes (anything over a 16 in teens) here at ours.
As for the skating rink, that was my high school hangout. However, our songs were the ones from Sheryl Crow. I remember firmly skating with my girls to “If it makes you happy”.
I also agree……we need a picture.
February 2nd, 2007 at 12:47 am
EXCUSE ME – where I grew up only the snobby cheerleader types wore the GV’s the rest of us wore Jordache LOLOL But we ALL had that huge comb!! OH MY GOSH you’re killing me!! My best friend actually wore her Jordache jeans so tight that she almost couldn’t get the comb in the back pocket! the skating rink was THE (only) place to be on the weekends in the small town where I grew up! OH When they played “Rappers Delight” THAT was THE song to be skating to!
By the way those fade glory boot cut jeans are great.
February 2nd, 2007 at 1:02 am
Ashleigh’s (comment #27) mom here again. She may not be old enough to remember the comb in the back pocket while skating…but I am! I was at skating rink every Friday night! And I had a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Mine were red with royal blue piping down the legs. Oh yeah! They were *totally* cool. : )
February 2nd, 2007 at 6:51 am
Count me as a believer! I found these jeans a couple of years ago during the After-Thanksgiving sale and paid zilch for them so I thought- if they crawl I’ll toss’em!
No crawling! No riding up! No gaping canyon on the backside! Comfortable! Long enough?-yes! and like you said Cheap!Cheap!Cheap!
Love your blog- like so many others :) Glad to see you’ve come to find some britches you can call your own. Watch out for that lycra hidden in those pants. Those boogers will shrink before you very eyes!
Oh, and if I could add to your flashback sequence…..my purple rabbit’s foot hanging from my beltloop & the thrill of “Another One Bites Dust” booming through the oh-so-fine sound system!
Thanks for the laughs :)
February 2nd, 2007 at 7:53 am
Skating rink days…Aaaahhh…that brings me back to the days of big hair, hairspray addiction, and kissing in the corner. I wore my Gloria Vanderbilts and my Chic jeans proudly back then. Oh, well, I guess I will tuck in my “muffin top” from my three kiddos into my plus-size jeans and go to the grocery store. It was nice to remember those simpler times. Thanks for the laugh this morning! Blessings
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:19 am
I never made it past “And don’t even pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Your jeans may have been Chic instead of Gloria Vanderbilt, but you totally had that comb in your back pocket.”
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:29 am
I miss those days, 40+ years ago when it was simple to buy a pair of jeans. First of all they only had about two choices, and everything fit, nothing hung over. I should have enjoyed it more. Now I buy anything I can find with a 34″ inseam. Not too picky beyond that.
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:32 am
I had the banana clip hair — please tell me I was not alone –and the 20 foot high bangs teased within and inch of thier lives!
I didn’t do the cross arms thing — but I could sit and put one leg out and turn the curves and skate the whole rink backwards!
The only problem with the FG jeans is the knees don’t last as long as Gap or Levis. That irritates me – but really for less than $20 who can complain (besides me)
And one more thing! Stop posting such funny stuff – poor Kelli can’t take it! ;-)
February 2nd, 2007 at 9:05 am
I so had the comb and the banana hair clip!
February 2nd, 2007 at 9:11 am
I have a pair of Faded Glory jeans. I didn’t even THINK about my Faded Glory jeans so I told you about St. Johns’ Bay (which are more expensive). FD jeans are are the most wonderful, comfortable, nice looking CHEAP jeans in the world!
February 2nd, 2007 at 9:15 am
I’m with you: why would I advertise that which I am trying to hide? And although I did the roller skating, I never carried the comb in my back pocket. I was never taught that hair needed to be touched again and again after you brushed it in the morning… Which may explain why my hair is the way it is today and why I usually sat out during the Couples Only Skate. How on earth did I ever get married?
Congrats on scoring good cheap jeans! You go girl, from one Walmart shopper to another.
February 2nd, 2007 at 9:33 am
I found out about your blog from a co-worker and have been reading for a while. I think you are a hoot! My favorite jeans are some Levi’s from Walmart. I wear them more than the expensive stuff. I also went back and read some previous posts and I went to high school with your husband’s friend Todd! What a small world!!
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:24 am
Ok… Publix last night, Walmart tonight. I know you’re just tryin’ to help a sista out… but you’re breakin’ me! ;-)
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:36 am
Oh yes, I did the comb in the back pocket. I think 5th Grade was the start of that for me. I had feathered bangs and I’m pretty sure I wore calvin cline jeans.
Funny thing going on in my life. My little girl turns thirteen next weekend and this weekend she’s going skating. A boy named Bradley asked her to couple skate. I need to give her a comb for her back pocket.
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:38 am
Oh and I wanted to tell you congratulations for making such a grand entrance in the lpm blog! That was so much fun! You’ve inspired Beth…and me too. I like being in good company!
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:41 am
Maybe I saw you at the skating rink? We used to all line up like a conga line and all do the same footwork with our skates…we called it truckin!! I had the Calvin Klien jeans and the Levi’s with the white patch on the back. I too had a thick plastic comb in my back pocket! I tell my kids these stories and they just roll their eyes!!
I love your Blog!! Thanks for reminding me of my Youth!!
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:45 am
I almost forgot, my back pocket comb said “chic” and I had no idea what that meant.
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:50 am
Forget about the jeans, BooMama, you’ve forced me to relive my skating inadequacies. Cross-over hold? Lean back? No, ma’am. How about go straight until you’re forced to SLOWLY turn? Comb? Uh-Uh. I was concentrating to hard on turning slowly. Meanwhile, all my friends were having KISSING CONTESTS in the back booth while AC/DC’s “Another One Bites The Dust” played.
Madeline got invited to a skating party last week. Oh, no. We did not go. I don’t care if she’s six. They still play that song.
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:53 am
WTG on the jeans!! :)
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:56 am
BooMamma – I found your site a few weeks ago(I didn’t even know what a blog was!!), and I’m enjoying every minute of it! I love all things southern…. and you’re one of my new favorites! :) I think (from my 3 weeks of reading) that you’re in Alabama. We are too. I know you’re a bulldog, but I must sign off with a big War Eagle! (Oh my – how I love SEC football!!!)
February 2nd, 2007 at 11:30 am
Ok…I am a HUGE lurker of your blog. LOVE it! And now, only now, do I feel the need to write a comment…because you brought back memories of fifth grade.
We totally had the comb in our back pockets. But, for some unknown reason…we TRADED combs with the boy we were “going-with”!!! How crazy is that? It signified that we were together. So, some boys would have PINK combs in their back pockets. And, if you’d break up, you’d give the comb back. What were we thinking?
I am so glad the banana-clip wearing, Jordache jean clad, teased-hair to the sky days are over!
Keep the laughs coming, BooMama. I check your blog MANY times a day waiting for my daily dose of comedy.
February 2nd, 2007 at 11:41 am
LOL. “Muffin Top.” And THAT is exactly why I am losing weight. The big booty was bad but the muffin top did me in. ;)
Glad you found some good jeans that fit – that’s truly something to be happy about!!