Six Houses And Four Hours Later

Usually I head into Saturdays armed with a to-do list.

But today, I have been armed only with a remote and a seemingly unending supply of home improvement television programming.

Oh, and a super-soft down throw that pretty much reeks of snuggle-up goodness.

I’ve watched people flip houses, sell houses, redecorate houses and clean houses. I’ve watched people hammer and saw and paint and sheetrock and landscape and stage.

Frankly, after watching people work so hard, I’m just exhausted.

I’m also stifling the urge to refinish our kitchen cabinets while simultaneously installing granite tiles on our countertops. And, you know, completely reconfiguring our master bathroom.

I mean, if the shows I’ve been watching are any indication, I can be totally finished with all three projects within about twenty two minutes, flip our house in thirty seconds, then walk away with a significant PILE-O-CASH.

I’m all about setting some realistic goals, internets, so I guess I’ll be seeing y’all at the Home Depot.

But only if I can get off of this couch first. I’m terribly absorbed in a remodel going on in South Carolina, and I’m scared to death they’re not going to finish it by eight, when I’ll no doubt be engrossed by a flip on an abandoned house in Atlanta.

Also: I need to check in on the two guys on HGTV who were looking for a vacation home in Costa Rica.

In the meantime, if I manage to, you know, get a life, I’ll be sure to let y’all know.

Stay tuned, internets.

Stay tuned.

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Comments

  1. Bailey's Leaf says:

    My husband always knows that “home improvement” look in my eye. I think that it is one of those twinkles that go “ting!” as it bounces off the corner of my eye. Certainly, if they can build a gigantic home in a week, we can twirl room around in an easy 22 minutes, with commercial breaks, of course!

    Home Depot, here we come!!! :)

  2. motomom says:

    I love the Home Depot guys!!!! My husband tells me something can’t be done, they spend an hour with me drawing pictures and giving step-by-step instructions. Poor John just doesn’t stand a chance. :)

  3. Oh, you just described the perfect Saturday!

  4. I love those shows! My favorite all time flippers are the guys from Charleston who run Tradmark Properties. Richard from that group is a riot! Apparently they are in some type of suit with A&E and it’s taken my favorite flippers off the air. Thank goodness for repeats!

  5. suzanne says:

    You are living the LIFE girlfriend!! Enjoy!

  6. I love all those shows!! I drive my husband crazy with all my ideas that I want to do. It just looks a lot easier and more fun on t.v!!

  7. But don’t you feel a little bad for the people that buy those 30-minute flipped houses or get their houses re-made by that Hilde lady? I mean, you know they’re not getting top-notch construction.

    But I guess there’s a “15 minutes of fame” dimension to knowing that Richard With The Cool Charleston Accent made $85,000 on the house you live in or that you now have a purple paisley kitchen thanks to the Hilde lady!

    And, as an almost completely random aside, have you ever noticed that when people do southern accents in movies it never sounds like any accent anyone has ever heard before?

    Okay, that’s it. Have a great Sunday!

  8. While I was watching all the same shows you just mentioned, rather than installing our new fan from Lowes or mowing the grass or doing anything on the long list of things actually need to be done, my hubby built a wooden fence in our backyard to keep the dog from trampling where he wants grass to grow better. This patch of grass is very important. The fence looks like a corrall for a miniature pony. So maybe that’s what I’m getting for Easter?

  9. One of the, now obvious, down sides to not having cable is that you have no earthly idea what it means to flip a house.

    Well, I have a guess, so I suppose I do have an “earthly idea” as it were. But still, is it really in anyone’s best interests to have me guessing about such things?

  10. When we watch those shows, Sarah says “Mom, we need to call them!” Lindsey insists that we need to call the number on the We Buy Ugly Houses.com billboards.

    I feel for their future husbands.

  11. I had to laugh at your post because this is my reality right now. We are in the middle of a major remodel of our home and I can only *wish* it was as easy as some of those shows make it look. But even in the midst of our mess…we did stop and watch a segment of “Flip-This-House” tonight. : )

  12. I love Flip that House, House Hunters, Clean House (gotta love Niecy) and Designed to Sell. I am a HGTV, Food Network, and DIV lover!!!!

    Sounds like my kind of Saturday!!! We have been lazy as well. Tomorrow we plan to re-arrange our Livingroom, bedroom, and top-to-bottom clean our bathroom. Oh, and I have about 5 loads of laundry to finish!

  13. That sounds like a wonderful Saturday. In case you have not heard it enough..you have such a gift for writing..you need a column in the newspaper…or somethin’! Honestly-the funniest blog I have ever read. :)- Heather

  14. Some days I want cable really, really bad….sounds like a lovely Saturday to me..

    Mary

  15. Jennifer says:

    Love your blog, My husband knows he is in for trouble when I start watching HGTV. I knew I was watching too much when my girls started playing “Trading Spaces” in their dollhouse. Oh well.

  16. The only thing that motivates me MORE than HGTV is the FOOD network. I suddenly get a craving for pepper crusted tilapia and a sugar-rimmed martini. And then I think that the countertops need to be replaced…

    I have serious countertop issues.

    BooMama, you are just so fun. I wish we were neighbors. We’d have a great time.

  17. As one who has just finished the second round of a home improvement project on my basement, all I can say is “Hoist that remote control heavenward and praise God you are not actually doing it!!” My children DO, DO, DO have a daddy– they’re just not sure what he looks like right now since all his spare time for the last 2 weeks had been in the basement! Run away….those shows are dangerous, with a capital D!! P.S. LOVE YOUR BLOG!!

  18. I don’t know which show it is, but the one with Kirsten, where people flip houses? IS AWESOME. Because they never listen to her! And they buy houses without inspections! And they all have Travartine tiles!

  19. My son calls them “paint shows” and we watch WAY TOO MANY of them! If we put the same effort into keeping our house clean as we do in watching those shows, we would BE on TV!

    Rachel Langston

  20. I had to laugh when I read your post, because that is how I spent my whole Saturday morning/early afternoon! I have to admit that I did get up and do some ironing while I watched a couple of them. I love how you made even our Sat. tv watching funny! I didn’t realize until I read your blog how I too had watched people flip, sell, redecorate, design, clean, etc., etc., etc. until I was exhausted!

    Have a great day!

  21. BooMama, I give you free reign to come and do all that at my place because we’re desperately trying to get our house ready for selling next month. And we could really use that whole “PILE-O-CASH” thing.

  22. A woman after my own heart. My husband and I are obsessed with all of those channels: TLC, HGTV, STYLE – my hubby even watches BBC on Sunday mornings for “Location, Location.” It’s a sickness I tell ya.

    I’ll know if you’re serious if you can tell me the difference between “Flip This House” and “Flip That House” :-)