This Does Not Bode Well For Any Future Fine Dining Experiences

I am happy to announce that Fresh Market & Co. waddled back to our ‘hood this afternoon. All nine of them.

We took them some bread and then snapped an obscene number of pictures.

The mama and daddy were much friendlier today, by the way.

I’m guessing that had something to do with the whole bread thing.

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Which reminds me.

Today about 12:30 someone called me from Alex’s Mother’s Day Out and said that he had gotten sick. She said that he didn’t throw up exactly, but he got very still in the middle of eating lunch “and then some of it came back up.”

So I jumped in the car and headed over to pick him up, and when I got there about five minutes later, he was sitting happily in a chair in the director’s office, eating a popsicle and talking up a storm. His cheeks were flushed and his hair was sticking to his head – they’d been out on the playground right before lunch – but other than that he looked perfectly normal. I figured he must be in the early stages of a virus, so we thanked everybody for their help (“AND THE POPSICLE, MAMA!”), grabbed his backpack, and left.

Once we got back home, I immediately fixed the little man some Sprite and told him that it would probably be a good idea if he rested for awhile. He curled up on his bean bag in the playroom and watched a movie, and I was all “bless your bones” and “baby, do you need anything?” and he was all doe-eyed and uncharacteristically quiet.

But when the movie was over, he popped up from that bean bag, threw on his shoes, ran down the hallway at warp speed and announced (loudly) that he wanted to GO OUTSIDE! PLEASE, MAMA! AND PLAY BASEBALL!

Which seemed, you know, odd. Considering he was sick and all.

And by the end of the day, when there had been no more vomitage but a great deal of TALKING! AND PLAYING!, I started to get a little puzzled about this “virus.” So I began to ask him some questions.

Finally, after he had detailed most of the circumstances surrounding his lunchtime misfortune, he said, “Mama, I don’t need a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my lunch anymore.”

“But you love peanut butter and jelly, don’t you?”

“No, Mama. I don’t need it.”

And then it dawned on me: I bought a different kind of bread this week, a brand with little chunks of grains and berries and nuts and whatnot.

So I said, “Buddy, did you not like the bread I used today to make your sandwich?”

“NO, Mama – it had NUTS in it. And Mama, I SPIT IT OUT. I SPIT IT OUT REAL HARD.”

Which pretty much solved the whole “mystery virus” conundrum.

You see, apparently my child didn’t care for Nature’s Own Honey Wheat Berry bread when he started to eat his lunch today, so HE GAGGED AND PROJECTILE SPAT IT ACROSS THE LUNCH TABLE, thereby causing his teacher’s understandable concern that he was, you know, VOMITING.

And then he was rewarded for his pickiness with a popsicle.

Really, it worked out beautifully for the young lad.

But no worries.

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Because as you can see, Go Diego Go here thought that the Nature’s Own Honey Wheat Berry bread was absolutely delicious. As did his siblings and parents.

In fact, not a single one of them gagged, spat or threw up even a little bit as they ate it.

Alex may have them beat in terms of social skills, but they win the table manners battle by a mile.

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Comments

  1. Dear Boo Mama- I think you owe all of us Canadians a debt of gratitude for the fact that we have allowed you to enjoy a “Canada” goose family. :-) Seriously, though. Love the names. Your kids are as bad as mine. When my third was born, the older two wanted to name her “Pilly Polly” if it was a girl and “Bubble Ribbit” if it was a boy. Yeah, right.

  2. How funny! Glad their was no real virus involved. And glad your babies are back home ;)

  3. I don’t like that bread either. I wonder if I’d get in trouble for projectile spitting it across the table. :)

    Happy to see the goslings enjoyed it though. I would imagine they aren’t very picky eaters.

    Michelle

  4. Oh, gosh. You’re such a good mom to sleuth that out!! I had to go get my little guy from Kindy today because he has pink eye! Until today he’s had perfect attendance all year!

    Steph

  5. Absolutely! Reward with a popsicle! I’m with ya–in my family, when the kids hound me beyond recognition about what we’re having for dinner, I fight back by feeding them hot dogs. Well…not every time, but sometimes I just get so tired of hearing…EEEEEEWWWW! Great shots of the geese.

  6. Kids can be pretty tricky. Im glad to hear that he is not sick.
    Cute ducks.

  7. But what a little southern gentleman! I love the way he avoided saying how awful the bread was , by simply stating that he “didn’t need a sandwich anymore”!

    You’re raising a fine boy, BooMama:-)

    Blessings,
    Kelly

  8. The mental picture of him with his cheeks flushed and his hair sticking to his head totally makes me want to squidge him. And now I totally know the way to his heart. Wonder Bread.

  9. Bless his heart. He could have yelled out “OOOOO! I don’t like this!” Instead, he politely projectiled it. What a gentleman he is! :>) He is just precious, BooMama!

  10. Bailey's Leaf says:

    Alex,

    Welcome to the world where you hate bread that you have to chew excessively. My name is Amy. I will be your guide. Tell your Boo Mama to buy you the soft stuff. The nice 100 % whole wheat soft stuff. None of that yuck with “things in it.” Let’s say it really loud together (’cause I know you like to)– EWWWWWWW! :) Take the popscicle and run, my friend!

  11. I’m glad my kids aren’t the only ones who spit their food out when they don’t like it! Glad he’s not sick!

  12. Been there, done that! At least your child was polite instead of mine saying,”What was that disgusting bread you made my sandwich with, it tasted like cardboard”.

  13. Hey, Just thought I would get a jump start on the AI post and ask you if you knew how they did that Elvis thing? And wasn’t it a great show…
    Oh, funny about those geese. Love the names, absolutely!

  14. HOW are you telling these goslings apart??!

    Oh, Sara Lee makes a 100% whole wheat bread that is Soft and Squishy, (both called that and IS that) or something similar. I could read the bag for it’s real name if you want, but it’s soft and something. It’s really quite good, for whole wheat. If you’re going for the healthy nature bread but don’t like your bread with nuts and twigs.

  15. While eating out with my brother’s kids, both his boys have puked at the restaurant table. Stinkerbell gets carsick and has spewed stomach contents in every state she has ever visited, except Florida.

    http://augalinfp.blogspot.com/2007/04/now-thats-true-love-stinkerbell-gets.html is about her most recent carsick drama.

    She’s even vomited while sleeping in the car. go figure.

    I love the breads with the little grains and nuts on top. But Stinkerbell also thinks it has been dropped in the dirt and not brushed off.

  16. LOL! Poor baby. Here they thought he was barfing and he was just doin’ the texture-tickle toss (which should be in some sort of Wee One Olympics).

    As for that one picture of the mother paddling along with her babies behind her, it totally reminded me of Psalm 57:1
    Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge.
    I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.
    Blessings,
    ~Toni~

  17. I’m with Alex. There is nothing that ruins a good PB&J like some healthy bread.

    And I’m impressed with his projectile spitting abilities. That takes some effort.

  18. Funny boy!

  19. i love that bread — but nothing beats air with some white processed flour mixed in, to make a perfect PB&J.

    blessings,
    karla

  20. You probably didn’t know this, I didn’t until I started homeschooling and took my kids on a field trip to the bird sanctuary, but you are not supposed to feed ducks/geese bread. Of course half the population of America does but a diet consisting of too much bread is bad for their bones. The bird sanctuary suggested cracked corn. Just doing my public service announcement for the day…

    So glad Fresh Market and family returned.

  21. Truthfully, I don’t even like the nuts in the bread… can handle whole wheat or even oat but throw in the crunchy little things and that does it for me too. Thanfully, I don’t spit though :-)

    God bless!

  22. too funny! I love the wheaty, nutty breads… but my husband (read: my 31-year-old child) calls them “healthy tasting.” I guess that means gross.
    I apparently just don’t understand the delicacy of WonderBread.

  23. Gotta love those names.

    And how does Mrs. Goose get her children to eat healthy like that? Your boy is to adorable not wanting to hurt your feelings by telling you his sandwich stunk today! :v) None of my kids liked chewy bread either.

  24. Regurgitation-by-gagging is WAY better than vomiting-via-virus. For the mama, anyway. Tell that to the preschool teacher :)

  25. I am very much enjoying the “geese series” and believe that Fresh Market and Honk Williams Jr are pretty much the two funniest names that I’ve heard since, well, pretty much ever.

    If I were Canada Geese, I would take up residence in your yard too. But since I am plain old people, I’ll have to stay in Nova Scotia and wait for it to get warmer :)

  26. Oh, thank you for sharing pictures of the goslings! They are so adorable! :)

    Glad to hear that Alex isn’t sick. And now you know that Nature‚Äôs Own Honey Wheat Berry bread is not his thing.

    Snuggle Bug likes to fake gag just to get a reaction out of us, especially when we’re driving and he’s strapped into his carseat. Talk about giving me a heart attack!

  27. My 4 year old had a similar experience at preschool the other day, too. I packed yogurt (which she loves) instead of a sandwich for her lunch and she threw it in the trash and told her teacher that I forgot to pack her any lunch. So apparently the teachers were searching high and low for something for her to eat in addition to the banana and cookie. I was so embarrassed. But at least she ‘fessed up and told me what she did. I LOVE your new babies!

  28. Merritt says:

    This is classic! I love him and wish he went to MY school! I can’t wait to tell the teachers about this one!

  29. So glad your “family” came home. And look at you, just like the prodigal’s dad giving them a feast!! That bread is my favorite treat.

    Glad Alex is just fine…he sounds like a fun boy, too!

    Have a great Thursday!!

  30. I’m glad that’s all it was, too. Glad you didn’t get to enjoy 24 hours of virus misery.

    And it’s OK with me if you post photos of these adorable creatures every single day. Honestly, hold some photos back for us so you can continue to share the cuteness even after they’ve grown up and flown away.

  31. That is the cutest story. I guess the teacher didn’t know how to explain it as well as Alex!
    What cute goslings. Did you warn the parents to look out for your snake?

  32. I simply love these pictures.

  33. I can relate-when my son was a baby and eating the chucky baby food he used to gag everytime I fed him anything eith corn or peas in it. He has a very tricky and strong gag reflex. We have had to watch any wheat bread with ‘nuts’ in it-he will gag until he throws up. Isn’t that nice?

  34. That is great!

  35. This must be the day for vomit posts — Sarah over at In the Midst of It has an equally hilarious ones.

    Tell Alex if he didn’t want his yummy Honey Wheat Berry bread, I’d have taken it. That’s our household’s favorite kind! ;)

  36. Thanks for the heads up. As you know, that’s the preferred brand of Uncle B and Aunt Sister. :)

  37. BOOMAMA,
    PBJ just has to be made with white Wonder bread, Welch’s grape jelly, smooth peanut butter and served with greasy Lays potato chips ( no baked or grainy stuff here either) The only nutrutional value should come from a glass of whole milk ( again no 2 %) :D

  38. Okay, truthfully, I thought I was sick of reading about ducks, but I did indeed laugh out loud at closing comment about “Go Diego Go” enjoying the wheatberry bread.

    My dad used to watch Amanda a bit when she was a preschooler, and one time he made the unfortunate decision to serve her PB&J with crunchy PB. For a year, each time he made her a sandwich, she would remind him, “No nuts in it.” He has not made that mistake again.

  39. What a polite little Popsicle snacker you’ve raised. True southern-ness, through and through :)

  40. Oh Boomama – do i have one of those kinds of kids as well. A stinker is what i call it. Actually i have 4 of them……. every kids has a bit of stinker in them.

    thanks for sharing!

  41. I love nutty bread, and wish I had some right now. I didn’t like it when I was a kid, though, and my kids don’t like it now either.

  42. Bossy’s not sure about the Table Manners thing: the ducklings are chewing with their mouths open.

  43. My kids don’t like anything but white bread either–except that I found Wonder bread that is whole grains but still white and they love it just as much :) We’ve tried the wheat berry thing too–yuck, yuck for them :) Cute story–glad he wasn’t sick but he was a trooper for trying it!

  44. suzanne says:

    Congrats on finding the cure for the BREAD virus…….I award you the Pobel Neace prize!!! ;-)

  45. I think, since he went to such great lengths as to not hurt his precious Boomama’s feelings, as far as to projectile the offending bite, he deserved that popsicle. What a guy!!

  46. I love that, “I don’t need it, Mama.” I think he deserved that popsicle and the movie, just for his politeness. After the week I’ve had with my one year old screaming on planes, in hospitals and when meeting family and friends, I’m glad to have a little hope. :)

    I’m loving the geese pictures… I saw a couple waddling near a pond when we were out there. I doubt if they lucky enough to have such perfectly wonderful names, though, poor things.

  47. Thanks for the laugh, Boo.

  48. Ah yes. The mystery 60-second virus. Always good for a treat, a pop and a movie.

    So funny, Boomama. I didn’t see it coming though — the icky bread thing. Uhm…not that I think that multi grain bread is yucky myself. Oh *scoff* who am I kidding? Everything tastes better when it says “Wonder” on it, but we eat the sticks-n-twigs bread anyway after an acquaintance told us her little saying,

    “The whiter the bread, the sooner y’ur dead.”

    :)

  49. Oh yes.. My children have had that virus… and mysteriously, by 3pm in the afternoon, they are cured…

    gotta love them!!

    What a cute story

  50. Now why you wanna give that baby Old People Constipation Bread? What’d he ever do to YOU?

  51. I love checking in on you each day! I look forward to your stories. Glad little one is not really “sick”.

    Hey, have you ever tried the Milton’s MultiGrain bread from Sam’s?

    Oh my heavens! It is wonderful! I’ll even take a piece out and eat it in the car just by itself before I get home.

    Gee, sounds like I should have started that last sentence with…

    “You might be a redneck, if…”

  52. Great story! My nephew threw up a little before he got on the bus to go home. He said he was okay so the teacher put him on the bus and called his Mom to let her know. Mom was all concerned and questioned him when he got home. He said he was fine. He had just been feeling to see what his throat felt like!

  53. BooMama,
    Your house sounds like SO MUCH FUN!! Alex is a crackup!
    Lisa

  54. I have to say that I can relate to wanting to throw up something that has unidentifiable chunks in it. I am still wierd like that.

  55. LOL KIDS!!!

  56. This cracked me up!

  57. Funny! So you had your own little science experience. “Who is the pickiest eater; a goose, or my son?” :)

  58. Blech!!!! I totally HATE that bread… as any other bread that contains nuts, wheat berries and such. Yuck!

    Sorry, but I’m totally with your son and his “blessed bones” on this one.

  59. Elizabeth says:

    Hello, BooMama, I found you through links to Heather.
    My son at age 4 was sent home for vomiting at lunch. By the time I arrived the teachers were looking baffled at each other, as he seemed his regular self. They even apologized for calling me! They wondered if it could have been what he ate, but it was “just spaghetti-os and mandarin oranges” (O.K., that would make me vomit). On the trip home, I asked him what he ate. He told me Spaghetti-os, and three scoops of oranges. Say what? Oh, yes, he and “Katelyn” had been having an eating contest, and unfortunately, she had been able to eat three scoops, but he hadn’t quite finished when he threw them up. We discussed the wisdom of NOT getting in eating contests at Pre-K with both DS and the teachers, and it is now nothing but a cute story.

    Nice to meet you!

  60. I’m here from The Wooden Porch and loved this!