I’m on Day Three of the YeeHaw Mamaw Cleaning Spree, and while I would love to be able to tell you that I’m almost finished, the fact of the matter is that I’ve barely hit the tip of the iceberg. I have wiped down my kitchen until it shines and dusted all the baseboards on one end of the house. I’ve mopped all the hardwood floors and vacuumed all of my rugs.
And I might be patting myself on the back if it weren’t for the fact that I haven’t changed the first sheet, cleaned the guest bathroom or caught up on laundry.
(And just FYI: none of those things will be getting done tonight because Dancing With The Stars comes on, and JOEY FATONE NEEDS MY SUPPORT, y’all.)
But tomorrow? I will tackle this house like a linebacker. Oh yes I will.
I know it’s probably hard for some people to understand why a visit from my mama would throw me into a flat-out cleaning frenzy – and I can see how you might think, “Relax, missy – it’s your mother, after all, and she’ll understand that you have a four year old whose toys seem to multiply daily and who doesn’t necessarily, um, aim with accuracy when he goes to the restroom. She’ll understand that you just moved a few months ago and may not have everything perfectly organized.”
And yes, that is true. She totally understands those things.
But she is also the Queen of Clean: the woman who has never left a dish in the sink overnight, never had to re-wash a load of clothes because she forgot that they were in the washer for, oh, a day or four, never gone more than a week without changing the sheets on all the beds.
So somehow, in the days leading up to her visits, I find myself trying to balance my desire for everything to look perfect – because I grew up in a house where everything looked perfect ALL THE TIME – with my complete inability to keep the house clean for more than approximately sixteen seconds at a time.
In retrospect, I have no idea how Mama kept such a clean house. Granted, she didn’t have the internet or Wii or TiFaux to distract her from the tasks at hand, but she did have three children, and she also cooked three hot meals a day.
So I’m starting to think that she had magical powers. Or at least a friend with some magical powers.
Or perhaps a small wizard in the basement.
I mean, even Mama’s laundry room is decorated, and lest you think I’m kidding, I offer you photographic evidence:
In addition, there is a runner and a small stereo system there (IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM) – I guess you never know when you’ll want to Shout! out some pesky grass stains while standing barefooted on an Oriental-style rug and listening to the smooth, soulful sounds of today’s hottest jazz tunes.
So while I don’t think I can get a window treatment with fringe made by tomorrow night – and while I doubt I’ll be accessorizing my laundry room with a lamp, candles, a runner and a STEREO – hopefully I’ll have everything looking clean and pretty within the next twenty-four hours.
But if there’s a small wizard in your basement who could help me out, feel free to send him on over.
May 21st, 2007 at 9:19 pm
I am the same way when my mom comes, but she is not the “Queen of Clean”. I think some part of us still wants to impress Mom…..even though she doesn’t care. (But I think they’re secretly proud that they have daughters that keep their house clean, don’t you?) :-)
May 21st, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Good night! That is the greatest laundry room in the history of the world.
May 21st, 2007 at 9:21 pm
I was impressed by the fire extinguisher tucked to the side. That woman IS prepared. I’ll send over a wizard for ya if I can find one. Maybe he’s under the couch…nope, that’s a crayon.
sigh :>)
May 21st, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Sorry…but my wizard guy quit…I think he called his union rep.
May 21st, 2007 at 9:33 pm
That shade is way too cute for a laundry room! Then when I saw the oriental rug I realized that I will never measure up to a true southern woman!
May 21st, 2007 at 9:36 pm
I un-der-stand! I decorate laundry rooms, too…AND the house must be spotless before we travel…don’t ask why. Maybe it’s because…in case of an accident, no one will think we slobs :)
Praying for your fast finish tomorrow!
Holly
May 21st, 2007 at 9:36 pm
I meant “we’re” hee hee! Too much cleaning for me today…
May 21st, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Maybe if I had a stereo in the laundry room, I wouldn’t forget about that load of laundry for three days myself. In fact I could just hide in there and listen to my music waiting for the laundry cycle to finish, while the kids destroyed the rest of the house. Why not?
But when you do need to rewash that load, throw in a cup of vinegar to kill the mildew. Then the t-shirts won’t have that funny smell which is even more noticeable when perspiration attacks! Not that I would know anything about that at all mind you!
May 21st, 2007 at 9:44 pm
No wizard here! I know exactly what you are going through. My stepmother has always had the cleanest house in the world! I mean you can hardly finish a glass of iced tea before the glass is whisked away to be washed! She is almost 92, is getting rather frail, and lives in Texas. She will probably never visit our TN home again. I would love to clean for one of her visits again–not that I don’t clean anyway–just not the same way!
Anyway–You enjoy that clean house and the MaMaws!
May 21st, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Is that a refrigerator and sink in her laundry room? Are the washer/dryer part of the kitchen? (I had a house like that once – my washer/dryer was in my kitchen pantry) If that’s so, then I can say that my laundry room was once decorated too because hey, it’s the same as the kitchen! :)
May 21st, 2007 at 10:01 pm
No – it’s a different room than the kitchen. The laundry room refrigerator is where she keeps all her Cokes and whatnot. Everything in its place, you know. :-)
May 21st, 2007 at 10:04 pm
That sounds like my mother in laws house! She’s spotless like that – thank heavens that she doesn’t stay with us when she comes to town. She’d have a nervous breakdown!
P.S. I love your blog! I’ve been perusing some of your old entries and you make me laugh!
May 21st, 2007 at 10:12 pm
I used to be like that–until my mother moved 5 minutes away. Now she’s seen it at it’s worse. Of course, there’s still the mother-in-law…
May 21st, 2007 at 10:28 pm
I don’t envy you. Fortunately for me, my mom doesn’t keep a clean house. She keeps a nice, well-decorated house, and she presents a very clean house to company, but I happen to know that there is a dark cloud over it for 24 hours before company arrives, where there is massive cleaning, barking of orders, etc…
I tend to do the same thing. But I figure if I read enough issues of Real Simple, I’ll become a neat and tidy person by osmosis!
Good luck with the cleaning! If you are still wound up when you are done, head on over to my side of town. I’ve got a 1st birthday party here in a couple of weeks!!
May 21st, 2007 at 10:28 pm
That looks so much like my MIL’s laundry room. She LOVES lamps, candles, runners, window treatments with fringe, greenery and knick-knacks and always has them placed just so. I must admit, I feel a little inadequate when she visits my house :)
May 21st, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Oh. My. WORD.
We must be twins.
OK, so we’re about 30 years apart, and born in different states, but I KNOW we have to be related by blood. At least our mamas are. Because, Girlfriend, THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!
(Twilight Zone music plays in the background.)
Submitted for your inspection:
We used to tease Mom that no cockroaches would ever survive in her house. They’d slip on All The Wax, fall, and break their little necks.
Oh, the Mom stories I could tell…I feel a blog coming on!
May 21st, 2007 at 11:15 pm
My Mom always had the neatest house…and,to this day, I’ll never know how she did it. I agree Boo…technology, BLOGS, TiVo…those were all things she didn’t have to contend with. I feel like such a slob compared to her. Sigh…. whenever I feel the urge to have everything spotless for company, I secretly cuss her thinking “YOU DID THIS TO ME!” But, at least I’m inspired occasionally to get this place shining! :-)
May 21st, 2007 at 11:39 pm
Wow, that’s one heck of a nice laundry room! I wish my kitchen looked as nice as that!
Good luck to you – I hate to clean, so I can only imagine how stressful this is for you! Good thing you’re getting a little break with your Joey Fatone fix!
Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
May 22nd, 2007 at 1:22 am
i wish i had a cleaning wizard somewhere. sometimes i wish i had a tiny bit of ocd just so i would care more that my house was clean. company is about the only thing that will motivate me to clean. and my laundry room? forget it. isn’t that where you hide stuff?
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:42 am
I will be tackling my house right along with you. Thats the plan for the day. Would be nice to have a wizard.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:46 am
I was about to say you must be my long-lost sister, until I got to the part about the decorated laundry room. My mother never decorated anything. But she DID change her sheets weekly (and wash out the hairbrushes), never leave a dirty dish, etc. The queen of neatness–a gene I clearly did not get.
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:11 am
Can I just say that your Mama’s laundry room made my heart beat a little faster with admiration?! I’d love to have a room like that – considering I spend so much time doing laundry and all :)
Have a wonderful visit!
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:02 am
that laundry room picture is so great- a stereo in the laundry room- she truly HAS IT ALL!
i made my laundry room a bit more fun this weekend. i established a “lonely sock club” for all our single sock friends (hmm, they need some music, perhaps a d.j.?). funny the things a gal will do to get out of cleaning…
if you want to see the photos of the newest sock hang out, they are on my website at http://web.mac.com/leamarshall. you have to click on “lea writes” to get to my blog and it is the latest entry.
i think everyone should have a lonely sock club in their laundry room- it is the right (or left) thing to do (depending on which sock you need- wait socks are foot specific, so that doesn’t make sense)…
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:04 am
Oh, I can sooo relate! I think one of the keys is to let Mom see the house in a total disaster one time and then anything after that will look great to her! As long as I’m giving out my “cleaning” tips, how about this one: unscrew the lightbulbs in your bathrooms ever so slightly – just so they don’t light, not so they’ll fall out – and light candles. The candles will provide just enough light for your guests to see what they’re doing, but protect them from seeing anything that might scare them!
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:05 am
OK that link did not work when i tried it… here is a full one, if that doesn’t work, just imagine the hip and happening “lonely sock club” on your own and make one for your own laundry room- your single socks will thank you…
http://web.mac.com/leamarshall/iWeb/LeaMarshall/welcome.html
(click on “lea writes” to see the sock club photos)
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:09 am
I, too grew up in an ALWAYS clean house. By the time I could read, I was my Mom’s slave, er, helper. She would literally run her hand across a surface to make sure I had dusted it properly! My little sister didn’t have to bother with such chores, and she could care less now about whether or not her house is clean. I, on the other hand, care deeply, but only stress about it when Mom is on the way. Once when my hubby was stationed overseas for 6 months, we came up for base housing (of course) so I had to do the move myself. My Mom flew in the day after the move to help me unpack and set up the house, but I stayed up the ENTIRE night before she came, unpacking the whole house because I didn’t want her to see it unfinished.
That’s crazy!
What it is is a disease, really.
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:06 am
I have this Exact Same Problem. If you do get a helpful cleaning wizard somehow, could you please send him to me when your finished with him?!
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:07 am
You know, every year or so I wet a paper towel and wipe down the tops of the washer and dryer and get off a few inches of lint and dust….does that count?? My washer and dryer are in my basement, though, so they’re easy to forget about…
I have a friend who moved into a HUGE, beautiful house, and was all busy trying to decorate all the MANY rooms, and wouldn’t you know it? She bought special wallpaper and border for the laundry room!! The border is a cute clothesline with adorable denim kids clothes hanging from it… I never would have gone that far….that’s why there are DOORS on laundry rooms!!
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:23 am
When my mom comes to visit I think she looks forward to doing our laundry and cleaning the kitchen or whatever else needs cleaned. She just can’t sit idle and relax for to long even to visit her family.
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:24 am
I’m a Fatone fan, too! Hooray! I’m crossing my fingers. Tonights reveal is going to kill me!
I’ve got a mountain of cleaning tasks to catch up on. I can’t even stand it.
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:31 am
My MIL loves to clean. She can’t resist cleaning my house when she is here so I’ve given in and purposely leave it a little dirty for her to clean. Then I don’t feel insulted when she starts cleaning stuff I didn’t think was dirty. My Mom, on the other hand, my sisters and I spend all day Friday before Mother’s Day cleaning at her house, and only got half-way through the kitchen :)
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:43 am
My mom doesn’t clean her house, she “scrubs” and “sanitizes”.
I, on the other hand, know that germs build up my children’s immune systems, so I only “pick-up”.
Once, while visiting us, my mother went into my small, very clean bathroom (yes, even the cupboards and medicine chest were clean). She had an armload of cleaning supplies. She disappeared inside, shut the door AND DIDN’T EMERGE FOR OVER AN HOUR.
Frankly, I think she was sniffing…
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:56 am
My mom never leaves a dirty dish in the sink either, and never leaves the house unless it’s perfect. She is afraid she’ll be raptured while she’s gone, and all the heathens might think poorly of her if they came by to find a dirty dish in the sink or something!
And MY mom has a tv/vcr combo in her laundry room so she can watch a movie while she irons on her built-in ironing board (it folds up into the wall), because really, why would you want to drag your ironing into the living room and mess that room up???
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:24 am
I grew up with a mother just like yours. Before we leave on a trip, I always make up the beds, load the dish washer and pick up all the toys. My husband asked me one time why I go to all the trouble. I told him that I do it because if something happened to us and we die on the trip, no way would I want my mom to come in and see that I did not make the beds before I left the house!!!
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:33 am
When my house is clean, that’s a sure fire clue not to open any closets. You could be killed in the avalanche.
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:52 am
I can be there by 7 tonight, but I’m afraid I’d be distracted by the Wii too. So I don’t think I’d be much of a help since I’m sure I’d be trying to learn how to bowl according to Wii…
And here is where I thank the Lord for giving me a mom who comes to clean the house FOR me when she’s here. Yes, I have no shame.
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:54 am
Oh man, I needs me such a wizard. If there is such a wizard, please please please send him to me when you’re done.
Or at least a small understanding of the cleaning concept because I really haven’t a clue.
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:16 am
If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were writing about my mom! They say the laundry room is the armpit of the house….if that’s the armpit, what’s the rest of her house look like!?!
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:30 am
Oh, I feel you pain. Anytime ANY of our family members come for a visit, I’m cleaning my fool head off right up until the wee hours before their arrival. I drive my husband crazy this way.
Good luck on the cleaning. Have you thought of HIRING someone to come in and do all that heavy cleaning for you? It’s a thought. :)
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:38 am
Gracious, could I relate to this.
The neatie in my family is my Dad, who, by the way, is coming for a visit this weekend. Yikes!
Also, I have the same window treatment as your Mama. It’s a different style and in a different room (dining room), but same material/pattern from Country Curtains.
So even before you started describing this woman I knew she was a genius. :)
May 22nd, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Loving the stereo in the laundry room. I think every home should do that. That way I could Shake It Like A Polaroid Picture whil folding tiny clothes.
May 22nd, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Bossy needs a wife like you!
May 22nd, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I have been away from the computer for about a week trying to get my life together, and then when I take a ten minute break and come here, this is what I read.
I’m going to have to go clean something now!
And I have to admit: I have a candle and lamp in my laundry room, as well as curtains and other decor, but I do not have a stereo. But I would, if I had room. Then at least doing laundry would be fun! Sort of :)
Happy cleaning, and have a great time with the mamas! :)
May 22nd, 2007 at 2:37 pm
I’m coveting that laundry room right down to those adorable curtains!
May 22nd, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Nice and tidy!
My problem with my laudry room is: it doesn’t stay clean!
Sandy
For Reluctant Entertaines
May 22nd, 2007 at 2:55 pm
It does me good to know that I am not the only one that has to rewash a load of clothes for leaving them in the washing machine for a day or four!
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Did you vote for joey? I missed the show but watched it online today. He must win. Apolo is good in a “Olympic gold medalist” sort of way, but joey can flat out DANCE!
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:40 pm
My wizzard’s name is Donna and she comes to my house every Monday and I play a game with myself each week seeing how long I can keep it clean after she leaves(why on earth would I want to waste all the money I spend on her?!) Each week my girls’ main question (think 10 and 13 year old…) is, “Mom, why do we have to pick up our room for Ms. Donna? Isn’t she coming to CLEAN our room?? I think that’s another reason God gave me girls – I wouldn’t be able to handle the “non-aim-ing” in the bathroom : )
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:08 pm
My daughter was seven months pregnant with her third child the last time I visited her in New England.
She not only cleaned everything, she repainted the rooms!!!
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:28 pm
When I move into a 1958 house in 3 weeks I’m hoping that the magical wizard who cleaned up all the houses back in the day hasn’t died and I’ll find him in the basement. Maybe it isn’t a wizard, but a fairy???