Archives for May 2007

Breaker 1-9, Internets, Breaker 1-9

I really don’t think there’s a retail establishment within a two-mile radius of my home that we haven’t patronized over the last three days.

Or at least not a retail establishment with the word “DISCOUNT” in its name.

And I’m not saying that I’ve wanted to blog more than I’ve wanted to visit with family – because that is most definitely not true – but it was quite the tender moment a few hours ago when the computer and I reunited. I gave her a big hug, and later on I’m going to brush and braid her hair. Because I’ve missed her.

We had a great time with Mama and Martha, though. And I thought about EVERY STINKIN’ ONE OF Y’ALL last night during a conversation Martha and I had. We actually ended up talking into the wee hours of the morning, and at one point she started to ask me about This Thing They Call A Blog.

Martha wanted to know how someone would go about finding my blog on the internet, and she asked if there was a special name people needed to know in order to read what I’ve written.

I didn’t understand her question, so to clarify she said, “Well, I mean, I doubt you just have something called [my real name].com! I can’t imagine that you’d have [my real name].com! I know lots of people have the dot coms, but I just can’t imagine that you’d use [my real name].com because of, well, privacy and safety and things. So I thought maybe you, had, you know, a handle or something.”

“A handle?”

“Yes! You know! A handle! You know like the truckers? On the interstate? How they talk on those radios, those CB radios? And they have names like ‘FoXy $eXy Mama’? And I mean, I know your handle for your blog isn’t ‘FoXy $eXy Mama’ or anything like that, I mean OF COURSE NOT, HEAV-ENS NO, but I was just wondering if you had a special handle or something so that people can find the stuff that you’ve written.”

[long pause]

[trying to absorb the fact that I just heard my mother-in-law use the phrase “FoXy $eXy Mama.”]

[TWICE.]

And once I composed myself:

“It’s called ‘BooMama.'”

“B Mama? What Mama? B Mama?

“No ma’am. BOO Mama. You know how we call Alex “Boo”? Well, I’m BooMama.”

“OOOOOH. Okay. Well. That’s catchy! I mean, I guess it’s catchy. Well, I’m sure it’s catchy. It’s adorable. It’s just adorable. Adorable!”

She still hasn’t read the blog, mind you.

And granted, the title is nowhere near as catchy as “FoXy $eXy Mama.”

But I reckon it’ll do.

Sleep Is My Friend

Mama and Martha left this morning, at which point I promptly got on the couch and watched all manner of HGTV and Food Network programming. After a little bit of lunch and two more episodes of “Barefoot Contessa,” Alex and I took a four-hour nap.

FOUR HOURS.

Not that we were tired or anything.

Just a second ago I checked my email for the first time in a couple of days, and I found a note from Big Mama. Since the last time she had heard from me was yesterday afternoon, when I was headed to Goody’s with Martha, she was somewhat concerned that during my shopping excursion I had gotten entangled with a poly-blend pantsuit and been unable to escape.

But I made it out alive.

So I’m about to cook all the fixins for tomorrow’s praise team breakfast at church, and when I finish, I’ll be back with a story or two from our YeeHaw Mamaw visit.

Also: after today’s nap-a-thon, I can officially report that I haven’t been this rested since 2002.

Life is good.

Really Interesting Discussion…

…going on at Shannon’s blog.

So Much To Say…

…but no time to say it. Today I’ve been to Macy’s, a local bakery, Steinmart(s), Ross and Walmart(s). Then we cooked supper and visited with a friend and tried to explain what a blog is to Martha.

Still working on that last thing.

But she is deeply touched and surprised by the fact that she and Sissie are such a bloggy hit. Although Martha hasn’t actually looked at the blog. I think she’s a little scared. Because when my friend Leigh was trying to explain the whole blawg thing to her earlier tonight (WHAT? YOU THINK I WOULD EXPLAIN IT? ARE YOU CRAZY?), Martha’s eyes started to dart around the room like she was looking for a translator to interpret the strange language she was hearing.

And then she asked me why I haven’t sent her what I’ve written, and I said, “BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A COMPUTER. OR AN EMAIL ACCOUNT.”

And then she asked me why I haven’t sent what I’ve written to D.’s brother, and I explained that we’ve tried, but Scott doesn’t understand how to 1) open an attachment or 2) click on a link in an email. I went on to tell her that I showed the blog to Scott’s wife Rose last summer, and Rose thought it looked really “cute and fun,” but if you were to ask her about my blog today, she would have no idea what you’re talking about, though she would absolutely LOVE IT if you’d go for a run with her.

If you can’t tell, D.’s family isn’t so big on the technology. However, we’re looking into getting Martha a Presto so that she can stay in the bloggy loop.

So anyway, we’ve had a great, funny day. And I’ll update sometime tomorrow, but first I must sleep. For many hours. In a row. Without waking. And preferably without someone throwing up on me.

That would be such a treat.

Loved This

I just read a funny, dead-on wrap up of this year’s American Idol written by Tom Gliatto of People magazine.

And here’s my favorite part:

In fact, [Blake] was given free rein to beatbox with Doug E. Fresh last night: I think I heard everything come out of his mouth except the cry of the lonesome whip-poor-will.

Until next year….

Overheard

“Now see? Do you see? Can you see how this jacket does? I know y’all think I have an easy time buying clothes because I’m smaller, but I’m telling you, it’s AWFUL. It’s just awful!”

“Is he not the most precious, sweetest, smartest child you have ever seen in your life? He is so precious. Just precious. OH he’s precious.”

“Mama, I love it when my grandmothers are here.”

“I’m looking for a cute clip earring, something gold, maybe – but nothing too heavy, I mean they can just get so heavy, and oh, here’s a cute pair – I just wish it were a little rounder and a little thinner and a little lighter. But aren’t they adorable?”

“LOOK AT THIS SKIRT? WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS SKIRT? ISN’T THAT THE CUTEST SKIRT YOU’VE EVER SEEN?”

“Now this is what I call livin’!”

“Well, you know she’s the only member of that family with a sense of humor.”

“I put four kinds of flavoring in this pound cake: almond, vanilla, butter and lemon.”

“Now tell me: what is this thing on my foot? Touch it. Really! Touch it.”

“I know what you mean about having a hard time figuring out which way the grain goes in meat. And I have STUDIED MEAT EXTENSIVELY.”