She’s My Kind Of Mama

If you’ve been reading here any length of time, you may have picked up on the fact that Big Mama and I are really close friends. We’ve never seen each other in person, mind you (yes, it is quite possible to make friends ON THE COMPUTER. THROUGH BLOGGING. THE WONDERS, THEY DO NOT CEASE.), but we email a whole bunch and talk on the phone when we can. The talking part can get complicated because of the preschoolers who reside in our homes, but over the last year we’ve learned each other’s schedules well enough to time the phone calling accordingly.

For example, lately it is difficult to get me on the phone before 8:30AM, and the reason for this is that I AM NOT AWAKE YET.

On the other hand, if someone were to call between 11:30PM and 1:30AM, I’m pretty much a sure conversational thing. What with the Nightowlism and all.

Anyway, Big Mama (sidenote: I don’t know if y’all know this or not, but that’s not her real name. It’s really not. And while I’m the business of dropping bombshells: BooMama isn’t my real name, either. HARD TO BELIEVE, ISN’T IT?) and I have figured out that we generally have a good shot at a phone conversation early in the afternoons. Caroline and Alex both have snack time and rest time then, and it’s proven to be a reliable window for Big Mama and me to discuss various and sundry Terribly Important Issues: Big 12 and SEC football, Chris Tomlin, make-up, marriage, Target, Gulley and Emma Kate, future plans for our hair, Jesus, motherhood – and that’s just the tip of the conversational iceberg.

However, there are several topics that the two of us probably won’t address, ever: foreign policy, heavy metal music, computer programming, and space exploration, just to name a few.

So one day last week we got on the phone right after we had administered our respective snacks to our respective preschoolers, and we were deep in discussion about Victoria Beckham or a Beth Moore Bible Study or cheese biscuits with strawberry butter or some combination of the three, and suddenly Caroline’s crying interrupted our conversation.

I could hear Big Mama asking Caroline if she was okay, murmuring words of comfort, telling her that “you’re going to be fine, baby. You’re going to be fine.”

“Such a sweet mama,” I was thinking.

And then Big Mama capped off her Caroline-comforting with a refrain that will make me laugh for the rest of my days: “Just keep eating, baby. Just keep eating.”

Now in fairness I should tell you that Caroline had a run-in with a Dorito that left her wondering if she wanted to finish her snack, and Big Mama was just trying to let Caroline know that she didn’t have to be afraid of the remaining Doritos, that she could continue snacking with no fear of Dorito-induced harm.

But when I overheard Big Mama’s reaction, I immediately died laughing – not because I thought Big Mama was trying to teach Caroline to use food as a crutch, oh heavens no – but because it’s such a Southern thing to encourage the eating process. We enjoy our food so much down here, and we want others to enjoy it, too. Doritos are no exception. I knew that Big Mama wanted Caroline to JUST KEEP EATING because what if she was left with permanent Dorito-scarring? What if she decided that she didn’t in fact like Doritos?

It was a quality of life issue as much as anything else. Because if Big Mama let Caroline gave up on the Doritos at three, what’s to say that Caroline wouldn’t want to give up on fajitas with homemade guacamole at fifteen? That would be completely unacceptable for a young Texas girl. Completely unacceptable.

So really, when you get right down to it, what I overheard that day on the phone was a Deeply Touching Life Lesson. That’s exactly what it was.

Even still, Big Mama’s assurance that EATING MORE FOOD WILL MAKE IT ALL BETTER left me more convinced than ever that we will be friends for the rest of our lives, even if the internet explodes and our blogs erupt into fiery orange balls of HTML code.

I’m also certain that a new bloggy tagline is in order for Mrs. Big Mama:

Just keep eating, internets. Just keep eating.

On second thought, maybe I should save that one for myself.

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Comments

  1. Well, you given me a big belly laugh. I’m a southern girl from Georgia who knows just what you’re talkin’ bout. Food can be the solution to almost any problem. Especially chocolate….

    Hugs!
    Kat

  2. Well, you are BOTH my kind of Mamas, that’s for certain.

    Permanent Dorito-scarring would indeed be unacceptable. Just the thought makes me shudder.

    In fact, I think I hear some Cool Ranch Flavor calling my name!

  3. One day Miss Caroline will learn just how much Doritos can make us feel BETTER!

  4. So funny!! You really should plan a trip to meet each other in person…how fun!

    Sarah, TN

  5. I better go grab something to munch on…

  6. Yes, it’s true. And as you said, someday if she has to be lifted out of the house with a crane, I’ll only have myself to blame.

    I can’t help it if Doritos and chocolate cover a multitude of issues.

  7. Oh yea, I’ve had some Dorito run-ins myself. The roof of my mouth is asking never to be poked again. But, for some reason, I continue to eat them. go figure!

    You guys are hilarious :)

    But, I’m a little disillusioned here….Boo Mama isn’t your real name?? :)

  8. i love it that you two are buds!!!!
    that’s just amazing. totally a blessing from the Lord!

  9. So, Big Mama and Boomama are friends, huh? For some reason, the names Lucy and Ethel and Laverne and Shirley came instantly to my mind when I read this valuable information. You both are a riot and make me laugh so much! It couldn’t happen to two nicer bloggers =)

  10. The fact that you both have Mama in your blog titles pretty much pre-destined you to be life long friends….

  11. jesslev says:

    Girl, I totally agree- Good eatin can solve pretty much all life’s problems-I’m all about a big ole bag of Doritos with some Pace picante- followed by some Oreos, no doubt! Comfort Food at it’s finest!

  12. You know, if I had a house with, like, ROOMS and such and not a tiny apartment, I’d invite you and Alex to start driving West, and Big Mama and Caroline to start driving East and y’all could meet in the middle here at my place.

    If I ever win the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes or Reader’s Digest sweeps or come into a fortune some way, I promise I’ll host a meet, greet, eat and belch at my fancy abode.

    It would be so much fun! Such fun! Don’t y’all think it’d be so much fun? ;-)

    Love and hugs,

    Diane

  13. You two are my favorite bloggers so it’s no surprise that you are friends!

  14. How funny that Caroline be hung up on Doritos. Back in the day when I had my tonsils out (we don’t even want to know how long ago that was, but suffice it to say it involved TWO nights in the hospital…) but I digress…my mother never bought Doritos unless they were on sale – they cost too much unless they were on sale…so the week I had my tonsils out they were on sale. They were in the kitchen when I got home from the hospital with my Diary Queen mister misty (grape) and I had to have some. Seven year olds should have known better; someone should have stopped me, but they didn’t. But I did learn that if you break off little pieces, let them “soften” in your mouth, munch them against the roof of your mouth with your tongue, then swallow, they don’t hurt your throat nearly as bad as normal chewing and swallowing. Who knows, they might have already been gone when my throat healed. Desperate times call for desperate measures : )

  15. oh hilarious and so true. southerners think eating can cure anything. and i just love bigmama. i was telling my non blogging friends who only read my blog that they need to branch out. i suggested they read boomama and bigmama and then i said, “that sounds weird doesn’t it?”

    but they are both really good reads!

  16. Oh, I knew you were friends, that ain’t no surprise. We can all laugh together in this happy blogland.

  17. I would love to hang out with the the two of you. It would be full ‘o belly laughs!!! That was hilarious!

    We Southern girls do love our food don’t we!

  18. Maybe it is the way I read it, but it makes me think of a quote from one of my top tn movies: “That’ll do Donkey, that’ll do”

    :) GREAT post.

  19. For SEC football…GO DAWGS!!

  20. Oh, you guys so need to meet and have an adventure together plus start your band. Then you need to tell us all about it.

  21. When our youngest son was 4, he had his tonsils out. Naturally, he wasn’t allowed to eat anything crunchy or “scratchy.” One day, his grandmother found him sneaking in the corner, hovering over a bag of Doritos and consuming them in a rabid fashion. When he was busted, he looked up and said, “I just couldn’t take it any more!”

    From the mouths of babes. Doritos CAN heal all.

  22. p.s. – I VERY much want to be patched in on a “Boo and Big” conference call. Not that I have ANYthing even reMOTEly clever to inject, mind you. Just want to be a fly on the wall. A smiling, giggling fly on the wall…..

  23. and that’s what keeps me coming back for more!

  24. this is why we all need to push for the retreat that our BFF Beth Moore suggested. And we could have our “Mamas” perform for us. until the actual retreat I will keep reading your blogs and praying for you. I am already saving for my Music Boat Cruise next May.

  25. Girl you are TOOO FUNNY!!!
    I keep all your most hilarious posts in a file on my computer called: “Things that Make Me Laugh”… and the day has been wild and crazy and I can hardly stand it, I look in there and just crack up!!!
    You’re the best!!!

  26. That is so funny! Any Southern mom worth their weight in fried food would say the same. :-)

    What a riot it would be if you and Big Mama did work out a face-to-face meeting.

  27. You could combine blogs and call yourselves the Big Bad Boo Mamas!

  28. Janet (aka JT) says:

    I have actually said that to my daughter! She recently bit her tongue while eating, and instead of, I don’t know, offering her an ice cube to numb the pain and stop the little bit of bleeding that was going on, I instead encouraged her to just “eat through it, Anna…just eat through it.” Like it was some sort of athletic training–working through a leg cramp or something.

    I am glad, though, that Big Mama didn’t encourage Caroline to “just keep on eating, baby,” after Caroline downed a few rhinestones off of her new jeans. I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere. I’m all for being “one with fashion” but unless those shiny beads were covered in guacamole, then that’s just wasteful and destructive.

  29. keep eating, baby… I laughed outloud. out. loud.

    I met a close internet/email friend for a girl’s weekend last in Januray (we had been talking/blogging for about a year)
    and it was wonderful. Bed ‘n breakfast..just us and LOTS of chocolate. Unforgettable.

  30. ROFL….i would like to be in on that conference as well. I love reading you both as well. As a matter of fact all of you wonderful bloggers have convinced me its time to start my own.
    AS for SEC football…WHOOOO PIG SOOOOOOIE!! Go HOGS!LOL

    I can relate to the just keep eating. I have two boys and MANY times finish statements at the table with just keep eating, but yanno boys are a lil different than girls, they will stick toys and balls and straws, and whatever can be reached into their mouths. They will even run to the other room and grab a crayon or two to eat…go figure.

  31. What a treasure. A post from BooMama ABOUT Big Mama. Two of my favs all in one.

    It’s like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

  32. As a survivor of a dorito mishap myself (as an adult, mind you), I genuinely appreciate that story! And another mother’s empathy! What a treasure we have in friends, expecially friends in Jesus!!!

  33. Don’t worry I will…keep eating that is.

  34. Now hear this western girl been all confused trying to stop eating. I need to move to Texas!

  35. Oh, I shudder at the thought of little miss C turning her coppertone nose up at the almighty Doritos. But it’s a good thing Big Mama was there to set it straight. :)
    Maybe you two should start a blog/band together called the Hot Mamas. I’m just saying.

  36. It’s so nice that you have found a friend with the same basic core values as you. That’s sweet.

  37. “yes, it is quite possible to make friends ON THE COMPUTER. THROUGH BLOGGING.” ‘Tis true, ’tis true! Elle at ACompleteThought.typepad.com and I just KNOW that we were separated at birth. Fast friends I tell you! And, we talk on the phone way too much.

  38. Hehehe…..

    Doritos shouldn’t be sacrificed. And yes -all us southern girls know the gift of needing to ‘just keep’ eating some more :)

  39. Well, beside the fact that a good dose of Doritos can cure most all that ails, you can, CAN make dear and wonderful friends on the internet … the kind of friend you finish a conversation or email with “love you!” and really mean it.

    Can you believe such a thing?

  40. WOA!!! Did you say Strawberry Butter and Cheese Biscuits in the same sentence? I was overcome by the very mention of doritoes at the end of your post, that the strawberry butter left my mind … momentarily.

    On my way now to get the recipe from Big Mama.

  41. You and Big Mama should really consider a sit-com. I’m grinning just thinking about how your emails and phone conversations go. And the Dorito discussion could be the premeire. Too Funny. However, my current time constraints with 4 toddlers would cause me to have to TiVo the entire thing!

  42. love the tagline.

    and i love big mama too!