Thursday night was the worst night I’ve had sleep-wise since Alex was a baby. I tossed, I turned, I flipped, I sighed, and when I finally dozed off around three (yes! THREE!) in the morning, a certain preschooler snapped me right out of my peaceful almost-slumber when he started to cry.
So I went to his room, made sure he was fine, walked back to our room, crawled in the bed, tried to relax, and about five minutes later Maggie the Lab started whimpering.
Apparently she’s changed her must-get-out-of-the-house strategy. She didn’t ROOOOOOO – it was more of an AWWWWWWR. So I got out of bed (again), stomped down the hallway, took both dogs outside to the bathroom, cajoled them back into the house, and fought the urge to say Very Mean Things. But then I looked at the clock, and would you like to know what time it was?
3:16.
Good one, God. Nice bit-o-perspective, it was.
And then I wondered if dogs or children ever wake up God in the middle of the night, and if they do, does it make him just a wee bit angry?
Okay. Probably not.
Anyway, I went back to bed and slept for THREE WHOLE HOURS, so as you might guess I woke up feeling like I’d been to a spa. A spa where they beat your eyelids with spiky reeds that have been soaked in gasoline.
Since we had a busy morning Friday, I had high hopes for an afternoon nap. However, for some strange reason I was unsuccessful in my nap-taking efforts (“MAMA?!? I’M DONE WITH REST TIME! ARE YOU RESTING?!? DO YOU WANNA PLAY THE WII, MAMA?!?”), and right about the time I decided to give up on the nap and face the world, Martha called.
Now in the interest of time – because I know you all must have things you’d like to accomplish before 2011 – I’m going to skip over Martha’s stories about having the soffits painted, going to lunch at Macaroni Grill (suffice it to say that Martha is not a fan of the Penne Rustica), finding a place for a computer she may be getting, discovering that her previous house painter DID NOT CAULK A THING! HE DIDN’T CAULK A THING! NOT A SINGLE THING!, and taking a computer course with her friend Betty in the late 1980’s where they worked with Macs and Martha made a 98 on her final exam.
So then.
Earlier this week Martha went shopping in Jackson, Mississippi with her friends Mary Ann, Minnie and Rubena. They had MORE! FUN!, as they always do. However, for the first time in, well, MY WHOLE LIFE, Martha didn’t say a single word about the clothes that she tried on and/or purchased at Steinmart(s) because she couldn’t wait to tell me about their trip to the furniture store.
You see, there is a furniture store right outside of Jackson that is the biggest single-store retail establishment I have ever seen in my life. It’s called Miskelly’s, and I’d be very surprised if there’s anyone in Mississippi who hasn’t heard of it. It is ginormous squared, and Martha & Company absolutely love to stop by there when they’re in Jackson.
But they don’t go because they want to look at furniture, necessarily. Oh, heavens no.
They go because Miskelly’s has, according to Martha, “some of the most wonderful homemade cakes you’ve ever tasted.”
And with those wonderful cakes they serve complimentary coffee, sweet tea and lemonade.
AT THE FURNITURE STORE.
So as Martha continued, I listened with great interest as she explained that she really likes the Italian cream cake at Miskelly’s, and the caramel cake is good, too, but she doesn’t really care for the devil’s food, even though that is absolutely Rubena’s favorite.
I started to think about how people in other parts of the country might find this whole furniture store-serving-cake-and-sweet-tea thing quite odd indeed, yet the only part of the story that seemed odd to me is that Martha never mentioned Miskelly’s pound cake. I mean, any Southerner knows that you live and die by your homemade pound cake, and it made me wonder if they’re still looking for the right recipe, or if they’ve found that people who shop in their store prefer cakes with icing, or if maybe they serve pound cake in the morning but not in the afternoon because pound cake is oftentimes a breakfast food in this part of the country, and really, I should tell my mama to call them, because her pound cake is the best in three states – maybe four – and if Miskelly’s served her pound cake there’s no question that even more people would want to stop by the furniture store for dessert.
And then my train of thought about the pound cake froze in its tracks.
Because I realized, in a moment of utter clarity, that somehow, over the last ten years, Martha has trained me to think just like she does.
And I didn’t even know it.
Which led me to my next realization:
Martha is like some sort of Southern Jedi, y’all.
Oh yes ma’am she is.
However.
She would never wear one of those Jedi robes because 1) they probably itch 2) they make you look three sizes bigger than you actually are and 3) brown isn’t really her color.
But who knows? Maybe Steinmart(s) will be able to pull together a cute little Southern Jedi uniform for her the next time she’s in Jackson.
And then she can stop at the furniture store for cake and coffee on her way home.
Your Martha stories are the best… they always make me laugh. Up here in Ohio pound cake is something we buy at the grocery store bakery, and I’ve never heard of anyone eating it for breakfast. I’m going to have to find a recipe (care to share?) and make one now. :)
In reverence for All Things Martha, I’m just going to take a moment and let that all sink in.
I’m with Kelli, an immediate comment would be futile. I’ll let that yummy story sink it. (oh, and get some sleep!)
Ha! I can’t believe I’ve lived in the Jackson area for two years and have never even been in Miskelly’s. Did she ride the carousel? I’d imagine that would be MORE FUN, too. ;) Head Honcho Miskelly’s daughter was in my class last year, and I’ve had some of the cake Martha mentions. Yes, it is divine.
I know somebody will comment not believing that anywhere there’s a cafe in a furniture store, but let me say that yes! It’s true indeed! We do it up big here in Mississippi, folks.
Homemade cake? That is crazy. We have a giganto furniture store here called Gallery Furniture. It is ginormous and they walk around serving plates of warm cookies, bag of popcorn and bowls of Jolly Ranchers. And if you’re really hungry, just head on over to the buffet where you’ll find hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken tenders and who knows what else.
And yes, it’s a furniture store. They have that in there too. Except you have to pay for it. The furniture, not the food.
Marsha
PS I clicked on Martha. Wow, you had me in tears!
AND the Jedi costume doesn’t have and attractive belt and any good southern woman KNOWS the accessories MAKE the outfit.
AND you gone done did it. . .NOW you HAVE to share your mama’s pound cake recipe.
AND tell Martha that if she likes something light that comes in a portion she can share with Mary Ann, Minnie, AND Rubena (unless she’d like to have it for lunch for the next three weeks), I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend the Shrimp Portofino because it just melts in your mouth, MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH, yes it does.
Any Amy, down here we even serve that pound cake GRILLED (in a skillet like grilled cheese). . .in BUTTER. . .
Hee Hee! My hat’s off to you, southern belle padowan!
Have a wonderful day in training…
Holly
Gosh I am sorry to hear about the Penne Rustica! But you know, watchin’ A-N-G-E-L-O write his name upside down on the table cloth in Crayola™ RIGHT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES can make anything seem anticlimactic.
Martha is my mother’s name if she’s pestering you, I’ll ask her to stop calling.. She has a tendency to do that sometimes..:)
Wow. Dessert at the furniture store.
THE SOUTH HAS IT ALL.
Can be any weirder than this
I’m just sayin’.
I already feel the powerful pull of Martha’s Mad Jedi Skillz, and it’s only been 6 months or so I’ve been reading about her.
You must have a very strong mind.
Okay, we’re all waiting for your mom’s pound cake recipe now!!
“I woke up feeling like I’d been to a spa. A spa where they beat your eyelids with spiky reeds that have been soaked in gasoline”
Does this stuff just come to you or do you spend every moment of time thinking of hilariously witty blog fodder? You are the Rockstar of Blogville!
I’m sitting here at Theresa’s (yes, again) and telling her hubs how good you are at spinning a yarn. After I explained what that meant, I read to him the portion about what being at your spa must have been like. To which he replied, “That is pretty funny.” As if I would lie….
I am thinking a nice little wrap style dress in a pattern of pinks…..
OH MY GOSH! I just found your blog and linked to your original Martha post — I was crying and laughing SO hard! My poor husband thinks I’m nuts laughing and crying while reading “your silly blogs again?”. You are GREAT — thanks for the good laugh :)
I love Martha! She SO reminds me of women I know… growing up in the south, women like Martha are… well, let me just say, I think we’re related. AND… yes, your mother’s pound cake please. I’ve been looking for one even a LITTLE bit close to my grandmother’s (who had the bad manners to die without sharing it!)
She used a pound of REAL country butter, though, that my great-aunt churned… I really think that probably made the difference.
Miskelly’s actually has good chili cheese nachos too! I’ll have to try the cakes next time I go- Except I’m kinda tapped out in the furniture buying dept! My last Miskelly purchase was a new ottoman for the den-Don’t think Big Daddy will give me any more furniture $!!
I am living in the wrong part of the country. Our furniture stores just have greasy haired men who follow you around while you shop. They don’t offer a single bite of healthy nourishment like you get there.
Not like the Penne Rustica?!
May your sleep be deep and longlasting!
Actually, I don’t think Miskelly’s is very strange at all. Have you ever been to an Ikea? They have a Swedish cafeteria in there HUMONGEOUS stores. Really. http://www.ikea.com
Yes, they sell home furnishings.
What? Our furniture stores here only serve cheapie hot dogs with warm, too sweet soda and that is only on Holidays. And you have to eat it outside. Cause they don’t allow food in the, you know, furniture store.
BooMama, ever since you posted those pictures of your new hairdo (adorable, btw) it has added a new element to reading your blog cuz now I can picture you better! I just have one request… Can you post your lovely (at least, I imagine it must be lovely!) VOICE on youtube or something so I can hear what you sound like? Cuz all I keep coming up with in my head sounds like me trying to speak Southern and since I”m from California I’m sure it’s really, really WRONG. It would just take things to a whole ‘nother level! : ) And it you were singing with BigMama and the tambourine, oh it would just be a little bit of internetly heaven. : )
poundcake for breakfast!!! one of my favorites…. my granny has shipped her homemade poundcakes all the way to Massachusetts this year, just so i wouldn’t be without!
:) GREAT MARTHA STORY BOOMAMA!!!!
That is definitely the furniture store to top all furniture stores. Eat your heart out, NYC! In these parts, there’s a restaurant called Lambert’s where they literally throw rolls (and sometimes other things too) across the restaurant at you. If you and Martha are ever going through Sikeston, MO, it’s definitely worth a stop… The food’s great- as long as you’re a good catch!
I was in Jackson earlier this week on the way to Gulf Shores. I was thinking about you while in Mississippi and Alabama. I wish I had seen Martha in Jackson. I would have loved to have had some cakes and tea with her!!
I loved, loved, loved this post. “Martha is like some sort of Southern Jedi, y’all!!” Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!
Is it true that some people grill poundcake in butter? Wow. I can’t even imagine how rich that must be.
LOL funny! Southern Jedi! I want to see her Jedi outfit when she gets it together, and of course, there WILL be a belt.
Pound cake has always been a breakfast item in the south–toasted in a black iron skillet in melted butter. The rest of the country just doesn’t know what they are missing.
I hope you sleep better, been there as well, in fact, look at the time of this post and I have to get up early tomorrow for church.
Caramel cake and sweet tea at Miskelly’s?
…
Well, I’m sitting here at my kitchen desk in Dallas, Texas, but you just completely transported me back home to the Magnolia State. LOVE. YOUR. BLOG.
And am now eagerly awaiting your mother’s pound cake recipe with my fellow hungry Internets.
You failed to mention the carousel at Miskelly’s. Dare I ask if Martha and Rubena hopped on a horsie?
OK, my all time favorite pound cake recipe came from Southern Living. Go to SLs site and search “two step pound cake”. And if you want to live large, substitute almond extract for the vanilla and then top the whole thing with chocolate frosting. You will be certain you died and went to heaven.
Humm, maybe I’ll make this soon. It is sooo good and soooo easy. Great combo as far as I’m concerned!
Wow. The closest thing we have to that is sample time at Costco.
A Southern Jedi she is. Learn you from her we must. Oh, BOOMAMA! Will I ever be able to stop laughing?!
I love Martha, and also you.
I want to go to a furniture store and eat cake.
I agree that the Penne Rustica is not so good. But then, I am not a fan of shrimp.
The mozzarella caprese she should eat. Delicious it is.
Yes, Miskelly’s is a wonderful place. Besides the restaurant and carousel, they have a mini-basketball court where your kids can shoot free-throws while you shop, and they have a mini-movie theater, complete with comfortable chairs! You can definitely go and stay a while!
Funny you should mention that spa. I go there several nights a week.
Martha is really a jedi master isn’t she?
Okay, serving cake at a furniture store?? I don’t get it. I bet they don’t give any to kids at least not to boys as my couch just said ‘amen’! Does the term ‘stained beyond all recognition’ mean anything? And that is why they invented slip-covers thankyaverymuch!
Oh my goodness, I’ll have to venture up there. We don’t have anything so fine down here on the Gulf Coast! I doubt I’ll have nearly as much fun as Martha, though!
This was a revelation! I did a little riff on my own encounter with a Jedi.
I lived there when Miskelly’s had just built the carousel…but there was no cake to be found! Wow… I’m thinking a visit to the ol’ stompin grounds is in order.
How funny. I feel a trip to Jackson calling me so I can check it out. It’s only what, a day’s drive or so from Texas?
Oh, my aching head…
I’m laughing, and have to share an unrelated comment.
I have a Maggie The Lab, too.
When we got her,she was listed under another woman’s name at the vet. I told the vet assistant, “Her name is Maggie, and she’s a Lab.”
The vet assistant said, “Ma’am, we have 9 Maggie’s here, and they are all Labs.”
I guess most Labs are just destined to be Maggies.