One day a month or so ago Alex and I were in Publix, and completely out of the blue he asked me if he will go to heaven one day. Because I was a little distracted by the fact that at some point pot roasts have started to cost about the same as a cute pair of shoes from Target, I sort of off-handedly replied, “Well, yes, buddy, if you have asked Jesus into your heart, then yes, you will go to heaven.”
And then Alex got very quiet, and after about a full minute of Deep Soul Searching, he screamed “JEEEEEEEEEEEE-SUS! COME INTO MY HEART!” right there next to the pot roasts, only he said it not like he recognized his fallen heart’s need for a Savior but more like he was aggravated with Jesus for not sharing His toys.
So while I wasn’t completely sure that the little man was clear on some of the more fundamental doctrinal issues, I was entirely certain that Jesus had good reason to take issue with his tone.
But then, about five minutes later, when I was seized by TOE CRAMPS, of all things – toe cramps so severe that I could not imagine that my left foot would ever function properly again – I told the little man that I had to stop for a second before THE PAIN MADE MY KNEES BUCKLE, and he responded by saying, “Mama, I would like to tell a prayer for you.”
I said that would be wonderful, so we bowed our heads right there in front of the dairy case and he put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Dear God. Please help Mama’s toes to feel better in Publix so that she can wear her shoe. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.” And he was so deeply sincere about the whole thing that I wondered for a split second if his profession of faith over in the meat department wasn’t the real deal after all.
I’ll probably never know exactly what was going on in Alex’s heart and mind that day in the grocery store, but I do know that he’s been chock-full-o-curiosity ever since. So we’ve spent last few weeks talking through all sorts of four year-old questions about God, and while part of me thinks that four is too young for a child to have any real grasp of sin and sacrifice and atonement and resurrection, a much bigger part of me knows that there is no faith as simple and profound as the faith of a child.
I also know that this is the time to plant those seeds of faith and then water them as much as we possibly can so that the little man’s roots will grow deep, so that one day he will be able, as Paul wrote, “to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that [he] may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
And so, we answer Alex’s questions. We talk about God. We talk about the joys of knowing Him, of serving Him, of trusting Him. We pray that he sees evidence of those joys as he watches his mama and daddy work out their faith every single day.
And it has been, quite simply, one of the sweetest times of my whole life.
Before Alex was born, I imagined that this child whose face I had not yet seen would sit with me at a desk while I carefully read passages of Scripture aloud. Everything would be Perfectly Orderly; I would Teach With Care while my child Listened Attentively. Then we would clasp our hands together and begin the walk toward faith with lockstep precision, only stopping long enough for him to surrender to whatever calling God might have on his life.
Because I wasn’t idealistic or anything.
But the reality, as anybody with a little one knows, is absolutely nothing like that. The daily process of teaching and leading a precious little heart is about as methodical as herding a room full of cats. And you know what else? It is hard. On every single level. So much of parenting uncovers our own imperfections, and we are constantly being humbled, broken and refined in our own lives while we try to nurture the little lives that have been entrusted to us. Did I mention that it’s hard?
There are days when I’m really disappointed in myself as a mother; I get so tired of struggling to balance the things I need to do with the things I want to do, and as a result of that I am confronted with the reality of my selfishness over and over again. It’s a mighty good thing indeed that I don’t have to parent in my own strength, because I’ll tell you right now that I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t last a day.
But the rewards of parenting? They really are huge. They’re immeasurable. They’re eternal. And the longer I’m a mama, the more I find that the most teachable moments in terms of faith don’t require much organization or planning on my part. They don’t necessarily happen while we’re sitting in a church service or when we’re Reviewing Memory Verses With Great Intention, though certainly I believe that God uses those things.
For me the most breathtaking moments – the times when D and I are both able to share our faith with the most sincerity and transparency – are when Alex picks up a maple leaf from the ground and then says, with wonder, “GOD MADE THIS!” Or when he runs into the house after being outside and says, “Mama! I missed you! And I talked to Jesus while I played!” Or when he’s sick with a stomach virus and says, through his tears, “Mama? Will you always take care of me? Will God always take care of me?”
Or even when he puts his hand on my shoulder in the middle of a crowded grocery store and prays for my toe cramps while we stand next to six different brands of sour cream.
In many ways motherhood is absolutely nothing like I imagined but so much more than I expected. And for me, right now, the greatest joy is sharing the Greatest Joy with a four year-old who may get a little cloudy on the theological details – but whose heart is wide open.
I cannot imagine any greater privilege.
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How beautiful. That was one unforgettable trip to Publix!
Could this possibly be your BEST POST EVER??? Yes ma’am, I think it could be!
This was beautiful, tender, affirming, encouraging. I could go on and on and on. And I might, but I might email you instead.
Thank you for this post.
What a beautifully written tome to motherhood, sweet friend. You made me stop and thank God for every day I have. It’s really the reason to just keep moving on, isn’t it!
Well that is just the sweetest teary-eye inducing post I have ever read. Good job BooMama. Keep up the good work of sharing the good news with Howard.
When your children see that you have a testimony of Jesus and His Atonement, then they begin to develop their own. Young children are so close to the Lord to begin with, its so wonderful to watch them develop that relationship.
I just think you are the greatest.
That was beautiful Boomama! Thanks for sharing and I am so glad little Alex has such a great mama and is so loved, I wish all kids could have that.
And a child shall lead them……um, I think I have to agree that this is probably about the best post you have ever written. Seriously. And thats sayin a lot cause maam you’ve written some great posts!!!
Wow. Can’t say enough about the sweetness and truth here. I’m kinda convicted though, about my busyness – when you talked about your selfishness and having to fight that every day. Well, that is me (single parent of a 12 year old boy) and that was pretty convicting.
OK, I’m rambling. Loved it though. You got a great boy there! (and I love that he prayed for your toe cramps) By the way I’ve gotten those and thought I was going to DIE. It helps if you stretch your leg with your heel down (opposite of toe pointing)..just a “pointer”. OK, really, I’m stopping now.
We went through the same time of questioning when our girl was 4. We even prayed with her to accept Jesus, because she was so adamant. We knew it wasn’t “for real”, and that she would have to come to understand her need for a Savior and accept His grace (which she did this year…Hallelujah!), but it was important to her. You’re right…a child’s faith is so pure & genuine, and really all that’s needed. CJ once told me that we could touch God, then grabbed my hands, closed her eyes and said “Let’s touch Him now.” He is so very real to children, and that just makes me fall more head over heels in love with Him.
Enjoy this special time, friend.
Perfect! And beautiful! I know how you feel. And you made me all teary & emotional about my own little people. :)
This is precious!! (Sure wish I had been farther along on my journey when my kids were little!) “Howard” is blessed to have you for a mama.
This… is just precious.
It is the greatest privilege ~ to be blessed by God with the most important task that we could be entrusted with…and to ONLY be able to care for our children day-by-day with HIS help. Amen sister! :)
I’m speechless.
And really, really moved. Your words are so true. Every single day, it is hard.
The comments are right…this might be the best of BooMama so far!
Oh Boomama! That was just beautiful. Being a momma is just so hard sometimes….i’m afraid of totally messing it up and then ruining their life forever…but, so rewarding and beautiful.
No, we can’t do it alone. I’ll never do this mom thing without Jesus. I’ll never do the life thing without Jesus.
I know that Alex will become a mighty man of God. He’s already a mighty fine young boy of God. Pray that he’ll never stop asking the questions or wondering.
Have a great day friend!
Blessings~
Fran
Oh my. What a wonderful little boy. Praying for you amongst the sour cream and yogurt for your toe cramp.
:)
You are wonderful for posting about this. You make me want to be a better parent and teaching my son about the Lord and opening his heart up.
Thank you so much.
I so totally don’t understand how God works in little children, but almost all of my six littlies gave their hearts to Jesus, or had some honestly significant meeting with God when they were around three years old. I have one little girl who used to go around and turn off our praise music and just hated hearing about spiritual things. Hated it. Then once after being so hateful against our evening prayers, we had a long talk and she prayed for God to come into her life. She was changed from that moment on. She not only stopped turning off the praise music, but had her favorites–and this at 3 years old and without prompting from anyone. Her face went overnight from pinched and grumpy to a softness that had never been there before. And then also, all of mine had to make another dedication in their hearts when they got to be older as well, taking their faith to another level. I have no idea what it all means, I just go with what happens in their lives, encouraging them to love God with everything they have and everything they are, this is just my experience with my children. From that I firmly believe that God accepts children and there is no age where they have to understand things first. Plus I have a little guy with Down Syndrome. How much will he understand? Will he pass a test on theology? And you think God doesn’t have a plan for that? You know He does! God is so awesome!
Congratulations to Alex, and may your delight in motherhood continue to bless you more and more.
Isn’t their faith amazing? We have been getting similiar questions from the Princess.
One night as I was putting her to bed she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “I don’t want Jesus to die on the cross.” I about cried. As I was explaining that Mommy didn’t either, but He had to die for our sins so we can go to heaven she looks up and with equal emotion said, “I want to give puppy a treat before I go to sleep.”
Clearly, she gets it.
Oh, yes. That was a beautiful…and perfect…post. Thank you for sharing that little one’s sweetness with us.
Thank you BooMama. That’s all I can say right now as a new mama to a 7 month old who’s only been home for 2 months. I needed to hear this Truth today.
AWWW! Gah, I’ve got tears pricking my eyes at work! And not just because I too know the skull-searing pain of toe cramps. This post=so sweet :)
Now. What’s a Publix?
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Really nails home 3 John 1:4, doesn’t it?–
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
Wonderful!! I really needed to hear that today.
What else is there to say? Beautifully put! I totally agree, but couldn’t have said it any better!!
You actually talk with your child about Jesus? Alex knows how to pray at 4 years old?
That is beautiful and wonderful! You are not relying on someone else to teach him about faith and God. As his mother you are responsible for being his primary teacher, and it sounds like you’re doing a great job!
What a wonderful post. I have been sorting through so many of these thoughts myself for a post. You said it so well, I don’t think I need to write one anymore! I’ll just tell my 2 readers to come here and read what you said!
What a beautiful profession of faith. I do believe the simple faith of our children is more pleasing to Jesus than the complicated stuff we adults can come up with.
I am “de-lurking” to thank you for such a beautiful post on the blessing of motherhood. I check with your blog every day because of your wonderful sense of humor and your writing skills…but posts like this give me a deeper reason to keep coming! Thank you!
Beautiful, Sophie. I know the sweetness of those moments well, but I could never put them into words as perfectly as you did.
I’m right there with ya! My four year old is asking some of those same questions. And man, is it tough!!
When my sweet son was not even quite 3 yet he was having a lot of nightmares. We were part of a brand new church and the bad dreams (and they were horrible!) started THE WEEK after our church had it’s first public service so it seemed quite obvious where they were coming from. As we struggled and prayed about it one day I was trying to encourage him to listen to what Jesus was saying to him and he said through his tears “But Jesus isn’t in my heart!” As I wondered if he was old enough to understand, I remembered Jesus saying in Mark 10:14 “Let the little children come to me!” And how could I tell him at that moment when he knew he really needed Jesus “Sorry baby, you’re too little.” So we prayed and he asked Jesus to come into his heart and be there to help him and protect him and though we have lots and lots of questions and I know his commitment to follow Christ will have to be reaffirmed as he goes through life (like it does for all of us!) I will never question again if a child is too young to ask Jesus to come into his/her heart.
Nice. Really nice.
Oh the eyes of faith through your child, Sophie…it reminds me of why Jesus said, “Let the Little children come and do not forbid them…for such is the kingdom of God.” For they are unabashed worshippers, are they not?
When our Noah went forward at church at age 7 to ask Jesus in his heart, I really questioned if he understood, and this verse flashed across my mind in neon…let him come. And Noah did. He loves the Lord so much!
Thank you for sharing Alex’s perspective! And if you have a cure for those toe cramps, let me know! I have had them lately and my Chris is sure I need more of some kind of vitamin or mineral.
Love ya!
Holly
Oh how blessed I am by reading this beautiful post! The faith of a child is nothing but pure beauty!
I can totally relate to the “picture” of how you think certain moments in our children’s spiritual walk are going to turn out and then God has different plans.
My children asked about Jesus coming in your heart and sin and all the BIG important questions after church one Sunday in the MILO’S!!! (Hamburger joint down south for those that may not know!)
Yes Ma’am, I was bawling like a baby in the middle of a “Sunday after church crowded” Milos! We went to the car and they asked Jesus in their heart right there in the parking lot!!!
We now refer to it as St. Milos!
Thanks for your touching and heart warming post!
Beautiful, my friend. Life would probably be easier for all of us if we could just remember to have faith like a child.
Thanks for this, this entry blessed my soul today!
Thank you for this.
I have been struggling with motherhood lately. A huge, enormous, agonizing struggle.
Oh, that is beautiful! I believe you and D are living up to the expectations God had when he chose ya’ll to be Alex’s parents.
And as for praying for your toe, how precious! I’d rather have the prayer of a child than many adults.
What a great post, Sophie. You have such a gift for writing. My son Max just asked Jesus into his heart last month and it was so very, very similar to Alex’s story. There was no choir singing 7 verses of Just As I Am and it kind of threw me out of my ol’ Southern Baptist upbringin’ comfort zone. :)
You know, usually when I’m brimming tears here it’s from laughter. This is a beautiful post. And even though there are about 30 some other people who have just said that same thing, I wanted to tell you that too.
trying to parent in my own strength is exactly what I’ve been doing lately and it’s SO not working. Thanks for the reminder.
This parenting thing is FOR SURE the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And she’s only two…I know it’ll get harder.
Anyway, thanks again BooMama :)
Amen! Thank you – Tammy
I can’t imagine either.
Okay, this made me cry. I am with you on the not-being-able-to-parent-on-my-own-thing and the it-reveals-all-my-faults thing, as well. But God is faithful, isn’t He? : )
What a beautiful post. I love your words, and I love your son’s sweet, pure, and innocent heart!
And by the way, my 40-year-old husband was saved when he was four years old…and he has never doubted that experience for a moment.
The beginnings of their faith is beautiful. To see our kids begin to get that there is a God and He created everything that has been created is so much fun. Their excitement and wonder is one of my favorite things about being a mom. My 18 month old smiles really big when we sing “Jesus loves the little ones like me, me, me!” as she points to herself. The wonder of being loved. Motherhood has been the tool God continues to use in my life to reveal my trust or lack of trust in Him along with the sin that He wants to prune out of my life. Being a mom has been the most wonderful and pleasurable experince of my life(there is nothing as sweet and I mean nothing!as my baby in my arms) and the most painful and difficult all at the same time(teenagers who make decisions we don’t want them to make). Still, I would not trade any stage of mothering for anything in the whole wide world. Thanks for your post BooMama. God Bless you!
Children learn from example. Yours truly has a great one!
Thank you so much! He is so precious! I appreciate you sharing that special story.
“Mama, I would like to tell a prayer for you.”……..Oh!!! That is the most precious thing I have heard in a long time and this is one of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read.
I accepted Christ just 6 years ago. I have so many regrets about things that I wish I could go back and do differently with my kids. I am just so very thankful that God is so much more powerful than all of my parenting mistakes combined.
LOVE this post, and your son is so special. My son, who just turned 6, has been asking about heaven for about 6 months now. What’s it like, when will he go. If it’s so wonderful there, can I go now?
Wow, this parenting stuff is difficult. And simple at the same time. I’m so glad that he is asking about it all. I just pray that I’ll have the answers that he’ll understand, at every turn.
Beautiful post. It’s amazing what happens at age 4, isn’t it? It’s like lightbulbs just start going off right and left. My DD has started an upswing in God and Jesus questions (and randomly started singing “Love the Lord” yesterday!) lately.
And I’m sooo with you on the difficulty of parenting! I just finished reading Sacred Parenting and it had a lot of really interesting stuff to think about!
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