One day a month or so ago Alex and I were in Publix, and completely out of the blue he asked me if he will go to heaven one day. Because I was a little distracted by the fact that at some point pot roasts have started to cost about the same as a cute pair of shoes from Target, I sort of off-handedly replied, “Well, yes, buddy, if you have asked Jesus into your heart, then yes, you will go to heaven.”
And then Alex got very quiet, and after about a full minute of Deep Soul Searching, he screamed “JEEEEEEEEEEEE-SUS! COME INTO MY HEART!” right there next to the pot roasts, only he said it not like he recognized his fallen heart’s need for a Savior but more like he was aggravated with Jesus for not sharing His toys.
So while I wasn’t completely sure that the little man was clear on some of the more fundamental doctrinal issues, I was entirely certain that Jesus had good reason to take issue with his tone.
But then, about five minutes later, when I was seized by TOE CRAMPS, of all things – toe cramps so severe that I could not imagine that my left foot would ever function properly again – I told the little man that I had to stop for a second before THE PAIN MADE MY KNEES BUCKLE, and he responded by saying, “Mama, I would like to tell a prayer for you.”
I said that would be wonderful, so we bowed our heads right there in front of the dairy case and he put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Dear God. Please help Mama’s toes to feel better in Publix so that she can wear her shoe. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.” And he was so deeply sincere about the whole thing that I wondered for a split second if his profession of faith over in the meat department wasn’t the real deal after all.
I’ll probably never know exactly what was going on in Alex’s heart and mind that day in the grocery store, but I do know that he’s been chock-full-o-curiosity ever since. So we’ve spent last few weeks talking through all sorts of four year-old questions about God, and while part of me thinks that four is too young for a child to have any real grasp of sin and sacrifice and atonement and resurrection, a much bigger part of me knows that there is no faith as simple and profound as the faith of a child.
I also know that this is the time to plant those seeds of faith and then water them as much as we possibly can so that the little man’s roots will grow deep, so that one day he will be able, as Paul wrote, “to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that [he] may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
And so, we answer Alex’s questions. We talk about God. We talk about the joys of knowing Him, of serving Him, of trusting Him. We pray that he sees evidence of those joys as he watches his mama and daddy work out their faith every single day.
And it has been, quite simply, one of the sweetest times of my whole life.
Before Alex was born, I imagined that this child whose face I had not yet seen would sit with me at a desk while I carefully read passages of Scripture aloud. Everything would be Perfectly Orderly; I would Teach With Care while my child Listened Attentively. Then we would clasp our hands together and begin the walk toward faith with lockstep precision, only stopping long enough for him to surrender to whatever calling God might have on his life.
Because I wasn’t idealistic or anything.
But the reality, as anybody with a little one knows, is absolutely nothing like that. The daily process of teaching and leading a precious little heart is about as methodical as herding a room full of cats. And you know what else? It is hard. On every single level. So much of parenting uncovers our own imperfections, and we are constantly being humbled, broken and refined in our own lives while we try to nurture the little lives that have been entrusted to us. Did I mention that it’s hard?
There are days when I’m really disappointed in myself as a mother; I get so tired of struggling to balance the things I need to do with the things I want to do, and as a result of that I am confronted with the reality of my selfishness over and over again. It’s a mighty good thing indeed that I don’t have to parent in my own strength, because I’ll tell you right now that I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t last a day.
But the rewards of parenting? They really are huge. They’re immeasurable. They’re eternal. And the longer I’m a mama, the more I find that the most teachable moments in terms of faith don’t require much organization or planning on my part. They don’t necessarily happen while we’re sitting in a church service or when we’re Reviewing Memory Verses With Great Intention, though certainly I believe that God uses those things.
For me the most breathtaking moments – the times when D and I are both able to share our faith with the most sincerity and transparency – are when Alex picks up a maple leaf from the ground and then says, with wonder, “GOD MADE THIS!” Or when he runs into the house after being outside and says, “Mama! I missed you! And I talked to Jesus while I played!” Or when he’s sick with a stomach virus and says, through his tears, “Mama? Will you always take care of me? Will God always take care of me?”
Or even when he puts his hand on my shoulder in the middle of a crowded grocery store and prays for my toe cramps while we stand next to six different brands of sour cream.
In many ways motherhood is absolutely nothing like I imagined but so much more than I expected. And for me, right now, the greatest joy is sharing the Greatest Joy with a four year-old who may get a little cloudy on the theological details – but whose heart is wide open.
I cannot imagine any greater privilege.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:09 pm
I think that quite possibly the sweetest thing on earth is when your child offers to pray with you!
What a beautiful post!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:13 pm
I sent this post to the women in my Bible study group. We talked just last night about how hard it is to distinquish between the demands of motherhood and the call of motherhood. Our study was written by Jean Stockdale from Memphis. She is teaching Truth and applying it to motherhood in a way I have never heard before. Always very powerful and useful! Did you ever have a chance to go through her Proverbs study? I would love to hear what you thought about it sometime!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:21 pm
I love this. It was such an encouragement to me as well. Sometimes I get down on myself when I get irritated with my kids. This reminded me that all of us mamas are trying and none of us are perfect.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Oh thank you!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:30 pm
That brought tears to my eyes. I agree with everyone else that this is the best post you’ve ever written. Every mom of a little one should read it. It really made me stop and think.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Beautiful post, sister. Just beautiful!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:49 pm
See! I knew God provided more than just the Sunday penny item at Publix! :-)
This is a very timely post. I’m struggling with some hard mommy decisions right now. Being a mom is so much harder than I thought it would be!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:56 pm
So good, and so true!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Beautiful…shows your heart for your Father, as well as your son’s. Thanks for sharing…..yes, motherhood is hard, but so worth it!!
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Oh BooMama! This is truly a perfect post. I laughed through the tears in my eyes and marveled over the truth of it all. I know you didn’t write it for your own glory but for the glory of our Father God, but I do want to applaud you for allowing yourself to be His vessel in sharing this with us.
That verse from Ephesians 3 is my life verse. Oh yes, His love surpasses knowledge indeed.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:16 pm
you have captured the whole secret of parenting, deuteronomy 6:6, and what a humble wise heart you are passing on to your children…loved the publix story…i have been a Chist follower for a couple of decades but even this year i have felt the “tone” in my own voice crying out to my good God and maybe He just better save me all over again…God sees us, God knows us Psalm 139:1 and may your journey with your little ones continue to be so full of the joy and faith and wisdom I hear in you…i just raised 3 who have graduated from college/grad school all this year (yes, 3 in college at same time and yes we are a tad broke) but from those footed pajama days to their college graduation, I don’t think we could have loved the times any more than we did with our four and have no regrets. It was Mark Twain who said: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” Keep on blogging & keep on investing in all those little eyes that are looking into your heart.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:23 pm
What a beautiful post! You are doing a great job as a Mama.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Precious, the both of you. Thanks for sharing with your mommy eyes, and for testifying that God is good, and blesses us when we need it! And even when we don’t think we need it.
I love the heart of a four year old…..they get a little more complex, but it is indeed a treasure to get to be a mommy!!
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Thank you from someone who will be adopting her first two kiddos in the next two months. Your words are such an encouragement to me–that it’s okay if my ideals don’t work out as long as I’m trusting God to guide me and my family. :)
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Wow. I think this is my most favorite post of yours EVER. That’s beautiful.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:02 pm
You’re so right, the rewards of parenting ARE huge. Watching your children come to know the Lord is the best of all. Bless you for sharing those precious moments with us.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Made me tear up. Parenting is a challenge and rewarding. I wrote this http://judysommerville.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-daughter.html
about my 17 year old last week. It made her tear up. At this end of parenting I am seeing God’s great rewards and am truly blessed by my children. Keep it up BooMama! God honors the faithful!
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:34 pm
What a sweet story! When our daughter was 5 she did a similar thing. She came out of her room and said “Hey Mom, I just asked Jesus into my heart”. We talked about it and knowing her like I do, I think it was geniune. We still waited a while before we had her baptized and we had her meet with one of the pastors at our church. I think some children just have a special love for the Lord. What neat testimony he would have!
As for the cramps, I eat bananas when I get toe cramps. And I’ve had just the cramps you’re talking about! It will stop you dead in your tracks or the dairy case, in your case!
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Wow, that’s all I can think of to say through tears.
The older ladies in my women’s bible study have recently shared how their, now grown children, are not following the Lord. It has hurt my heart in fear for what might happen to my own child. This gave me hope.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Great post; thanks for sharing it with us. What a great reminder of the faith of a child and how we need to be more childlike.
My son is six and when he was four he asked Jesus to “be his best friend.” (The whole “in my heart” thing freaked him out.) He asks so many thoughtful questions that I don’t question his sincerity or his experience.
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:29 pm
That is one of those moments that you tuck away in your heart and treasure forever.
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Where is the syrup and the spoon? I feel like eating you all up (or, excuse me–y’all up) right now. Wonderful, wonderful post, Boomama. I don’t even need the syrup–it’s that delish.
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:26 pm
The best times with my son have always been at bed time. Long talks abou God & heaven. On the nights I just swant to go to sleep I remember those precious evenings.
He accepted Jesus at 3 1/2 & understood what his prayer was. He does not remember it, so he ask Jesus again at 5. That he does remember.
Welcome Alex to the kingdom of God!
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Absolutely beautiful. I’m so glad you shared this story. Only you could tell it so well – with a mama’s love. We come to God when he calls us to him. Alex has been called early. God Bless!
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Thank you so much for sharing this.
Oh, to have faith like a child.
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:58 pm
I know you’re in a season of “waiting” right now, and it is difficult to find things to write about that aren’t about the thing you’re waiting on.
Clearly you have found something else to focus on…
…and your writing has never been better that this post!
THANK YOU for sharing!
Alesha
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:38 pm
oh what a great post. and it absolutely is the best time ever.
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Thank you, Sophie. You are so right, sweet one. No greater joy, indeed!
Kelly
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Fantastic post. I had a tough day in the trenches of mommyhood. Your post was just exactly what I needed. Thank you.
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:50 pm
This was beautiful and every word true.
I especially like the line about “herding a room full of cats.” The very bottom of my soul says Amen. :)
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Oh how true and wonderful you are! Honestly, some days I just don’t know how I can go on, I feel like a failure in every sense of the word. I feel as though I’m never doing, teaching, or praying enough for my kids. But then one of those moments happen, like one of them telling me “Mama, look at that sunset, God really made that one pretty!” And I thank Him, that even though I am inadaquate, He is enough.
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:54 pm
is there anything sweeter?
Blessings,
Karla
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:59 pm
You just never cease to amaze me.
That’s all.
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:11 pm
This post was wonderful in every way! I laughed and I cried and I’ve experienced the truth of what you said.
He is young…but no one is too young for the Holy Spirit to speak to them.
I asked Jesus into my heart at age 3 or 4…and I’m still loving him today (39 years old!).
Thank you for sharing!
I’ll be linking to this one from my blog.
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:32 pm
When you choose to live for Jesus and talk about Him to your children as a daily habit and not just as a “Sunday” discussion only, it is a very natural progression for your child to talk of Him!
You are doing right Sophia…keep talking about the Lord to him and teach him scripture. Time is so short!
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:50 pm
what a great shopping day. i think those toe cramps were ordained.
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:59 pm
Wonderful, inspiring post! All five of my children were saved at young ages. Never give Alex reason to doubt and he won’t. Praise the Lord! Karen
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:10 pm
Awwww. I wish I had a perfect post award to give away because you just won it! I think I might even link to you on my blog if I can get around to posting today!
Love ya!
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:18 pm
Beautifully put!
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Thanks, Sophie. To God be all glory and praise for anything that we have done as moms to share Christ with our little ones. For without Him, it would be impossible. Thanks for a beautiful post. I’m linking you in my blog tonight so others can be encouraged by your words.
Happi
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:39 pm
LOVE it love it LOVE IT! Amen and Amen! Those moments are what being a mama is ALL ABOUT!!! Did I say I LOVED this post? My heart is filled to the brim with warm fuzzies…
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:00 pm
Oh Boomama~ Thank you for being so open and honest! I really needed to hear those words at this very moment! God used you to speak to my heart tonight! Thank you for being a willing vessel (even if you didn’t know you were!!!)
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:26 pm
This is one of the sweetest posts you have ever written. Thanks for sharing such a precious Mama moment with us. We’ve been having a lot of questions lately as well. I am trying to remember that God made it simple. We make it complicated.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:13 pm
I love, Love, LOVE this post! Even my husband read over my shoulder and giggled at all the right spots.
Thanks for blessing me by sharing about your life.
Heidi
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:29 pm
seriuosly, boomama? you getting all mushy on me. i’m all picturing a lovely ache-in-my-side-from-laughing-so-hard post about sour cream or meat.
and then you go deeper. and that, my friend, is what i love about you. or, well…um…your blog.
thanks for serving it up to us mommies today. i love your sweet alex’ zest for life, and now his zest for JESUS!! you’re being used by Him. what an honor and a treat.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:35 pm
That was beautiful. My son is much the same way – full of this amazing insight and trust, that it just blows me away sometimes how much more spiritually mature he can be than me! What a sweet little blessing you have there.
October 24th, 2007 at 1:37 am
Amen! Beautifully written. When my 13 year old was 9 he asked Jesus into his heart after we had just read the story of Abraham and Isaac and God providing the ram….he was absolutely overcome with his sin and that God would provide a Lamb to die in his place. It was an amazing moment.
And would you please hurry up and write a book so I can buy it and tell everyone that I read your blog!!!
You are such a gifted WRITER!
October 24th, 2007 at 5:45 am
There have been many times over the last several years when I have considered having another child just so I could “do things right.” Fortunately, I have always come to my senses. I think it is easy to second guess yourself and wish that you had done this or that differently. Especially when I see those unattrative traits in myself (such as my temper) mirrored in my child. But God’s grace covers all things and they seem to be turning into marvelous adults in spite of my mistakes. So the moral of this story is “it should be alright in the end.” We just keep praying, working, and apologizing when necessary. (my daughter still likes to say, “when I was four, you made this mistake…”)
October 24th, 2007 at 7:54 am
I LOVE this post! You hit it just right.
October 24th, 2007 at 8:01 am
I love those unintentional teaching moments. They’re the best.