It Warms Me To The Very Core Of My Clogged Little Heart

Earlier today I was walking through Walmart while talking on the phone with Big Mama, and she was in the middle of a Deeply Moving Story when I stopped in my tracks and said, “HOLD ON!”

“What? WHAT?!?!” she asked, no doubt worried that I’d run over someone’s foot with my shopping cart or strolled past the diet Coke without remembering to put a 24-pack in my cart because, believe you me, both of those things would have been terribly traumatic indeed.

Especially forgetting the diet Coke.

The mere thought of it sends a cold chill down my spine.

“THE CREAM CHEESE!” I replied. “THE CREAM CHEESE IS NINETY-EIGHT CENTS AGAIN!

All Big Mama could do was laugh. Because really, what else can you do when confronted with the reality of my crazy?

But still. I cannot help it that rows upon rows of less-than-one-dollar brand-name cream cheese fills me with all measure of joy.

It also fills me with all measure of empty calories, but that is another story entirely.

So in celebration of the fact that the Philadelphia Brand Cream Cheese, IT IS A BARGAIN RIGHT NOW, I thought I’d post a couple of cream cheese-centric recipes.

Consider it my Christmas gift to you.

And to your cardiologist, as well.

Both of these recipes come from my sister-in-law Janie, a girl who loves a good, cream cheese-laden appetizer as much as I do and doesn’t make me feel the least little bit guilty when she makes these two dishes and I stand over them like some sort of guard dog.

RAAAAAAAAR-UFF!

White Rotel Dip

3 packages of pork sausage (mild or spicy is fine – but use at least 1 maple-flavored)
4 packages of cream cheese
2 cans of Rotel tomatoes

Brown sausage and drain. In a large saucepan, combine all ingredients and heat until cheese is melted, being careful to stir often.

Serve with tortilla chips.

And if you’re worried about eating cream cheese AND sausage in the same dish, don’t worry because the tomatoes are TOTALLY healthy, and therefore you’ll be just fine.

Captain Rodney Cheese Bake, aka THE BEST THING YOU WILL EVER EAT IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE EVER

1/2 cup mayonaise
8 oz. cream cheese-softened
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
2 green onions chopped
6 Ritz crackers crumbled
8 slices cooked, crumbled bacon
1/2 cup Boucan Glaze (Oh my merciful heavens at the sheer volume of deliciousness in this stuff. It should be illegal. But I am so glad that it isn’t.)

Mix first 4 ingredients, then spread in a square casserole dish. Sprinkle crackers on top. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Then sprinkle bacon on top and drizzle sauce over all. Serve with your favorite crackers, pita chips, etc.

Then praise the Lord. Praise His holy name. He is faithful and worthy of all your cream cheese-induced praise.

Hallelujah.

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Comments

  1. Thanks for the yummy recipes! Hope the Philly cream cheese is on sale here, too!

  2. Yummy.

    I have a new cream cheese “recipe” to share with you now, so that the sale IT IS NOT WASTED. Spread the block of cream cheese into a thinish rectangle. Top with a container of caramel apple dip (the kind in the tub, sold in produce.) Then sprinkle with Heath bits (sold with the chocolate chips.) Surround with alternating red and green apple slices. Step back. People will run over you.

  3. EDIT (for the post above) Use MOST of the caramel dip and about a cup of the Heath bits.

  4. Around here, we make an oven-baked dip out of a layer of cream cheese and a layer of Skyline chili. Eat it with tortilla chips. Yum.

  5. Maybe you should have a cream cheese recipe swap, like the soup one. Only it does not lend itself to fab names like Souptacular.

    Anyway. Take that chunk of cream cheese and spread it in a pie plate. Mix a can of small shrimp (drained) and cocktail sauce in a bowl and pour over the cream cheese. Serve with Ritz crackers and a little spreader. If you use a fancy spreader, you will totally seem JUST like Rachel Ray.

  6. Oh, Boomama — Aldi’s has cream cheese at eighty-nine cents! No, it’s not brand name, but I’ve been using it for awhile now, and it’s my observation that it’ll make a body fat just as well as the brand name cream cheese. My scales will attest to that! ;)

    And I love me that White Rotel Dip. It must be a speciality among sister-in-laws ’cause MY sis-in-law always brings it to our get-togethers, except when she brings her delicious salsa roll-ups, which also make judicious use of cream cheese — two blocks of cream cheese, mixed with four tablespoons of salsa, a little can of chopped black olives and a little can of green chilies. Mix that up and spread it on flour tortillas. Roll ’em up and chill for awhile, before slicing them diagonally. Dip in salsa and make Homer Simpson noises. :)

  7. Thanks for the recipes. I could most definitely create (and consume) an entire menu(salad, soup, appetizer, main dish, side dishes and dessert) in which cream cheese is featured prominently. Of course, the gastrointestinal issues might be a problem, but I would take one for the team. :0)

  8. I agree with the cream cheese recipe swap,,,how about “Cream Cheese-ical”!

    I like to take jalapeno peppers, cut in half & seeded, fill with cream cheese and a small shrimp, wrap with 1/2 slice of bacon and bake. All I can say is “shut-up”

  9. I named bunco at my house last Friday, “Ode to Cream Cheese”. It was heavenly.

  10. Really – are there any good southern recipes that DON’T contain cream cheese? :-) Less than $1 IS something to cheer about!

  11. A few things really.

    Yes, I was concerned about what had happened at the Walmarts to make you audibly gasp. However, I had no real appreciation for the cream cheese bargain until I was at the grocery store later that day and realized that our cream cheese was selling for $1.79.

    And, I had never heard of this sauce called Boucan. But now I need some. I need the Boucan to enhance the flavor of my $1.79 box o’ cream cheese.

  12. OK…Genni is soooo right about the cream cheese apple dip topped with heath bits.

    AAAAHHHHMAAAAZINGLY yummy!

    I have also had it with just the cream cheese and carmel OR with cream cheese, carmel, and sliced pecans.

    Looks so festive for Christmas.

  13. I’ve been asking my SIL for the Captain Rodney’s recipe for two years, and she never gets around to sending it to me! Finally! Thank you! :)

  14. I think you should start a new Cream Cheese file.

    :>)

  15. Oh my, I just LOADED up my buggy today at Wal-Mart with 98 cent Philadelphia cream cheese today too! I stopped in my tracks when I saw the price. That’s a rare bargain. So glad you shared your recipes, as I have a fridge full of cream cheese. :)

    Sarah, TN

  16. you should check out my blog. i found a site that has a compilation of 46 recipes with cream cheese! i can’t wait to start trying them. i also saw the price of the cream cheese as well – i bought 5 right there on the spot. my junior’s cheesecake recipe book is calling my name.

  17. Bailey's Leaf says:

    B-Mama,

    While I rejoice in your 98 cent sale on cream cheese (I’ve been known to eat a bar by myself), I must ask you to do one cell phone favor for the retail public. You see, I work retail. I work in an art gallery and have people chatting on the cell in the middle of the store about all sorts of things. I had a woman in screaming in her phone the other day. My biggest pet peeve besides store phone talkers? Counter phone talkers.

    It was a rough retail day. I have one more holiday retail day in the trenches this week. Lord in heaven, I pray that it is cell phone free. It’s hard for me to help people if I can’t tell if they are talking to me or the person in their ear.

  18. My old roommate makes that white rotel dip and it is super delish. Rotel makes everything great! Oh, and cream cheese is good too…I like to make fruit dip with it.

  19. I, too have a couple of cream cheese recipes to share.

    Stuffed celery:

    Wash & remove strings from celery hearts. Cut into 3″ pieces.

    In a bowl mix 1 pkg cream cheese with half a jar of chopped olives (with pimentos!) Add about an 1/8 c of olive juice to soften cream cheese and stir together. It should be nice and smooth, but a little hard to stir. Stuff celery and eat.

    Creamy Pepperberry spread:

    Spoon out several spoonfuls of Stonewall Kitchen’s “Hot Pepperberry Jam” (It’s made in York, Maine, but I’ve found it in gourmet stores down here in Georgia!) over a package of cream cheese. Heat in microwave until it starts to soften, about 1 1/2 minutes? Spread on Ritz crackers! Yummo! :D

  20. Oh, yeah! We will call it “Phil-Good!”

    Aw, dang. That sounds like it has something to do with Dr. Phil, doesn’t it?

    That’s just no good right there.

    It could work, people.

  21. Bailey’s Leaf…I figured the Wal*mart people enjoyed the break of entertaining the customers in the check out line. Wow…that’s an insight right there! Is this is global frustration, I wonder?

    Who knew? We must find out…being in the south. BooMooma…oops, BooMama…this calls for a poll of the most serious and scientific sort.

  22. Both of those sound out of control amazing.

  23. i get sooooooo excited when i find a new cream cheese recipe!!!! now i have two!!!!

  24. Okay, I’m hyperventilating here, because…

    I LOVE ROTEL DIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (Now that I got that out, LOL!)

    Our cream cheese was on sale the other week for $1 each and I had the same reaction! Eye-rolling Hubby finally realized that it equalled multiple cheesecakes with his name on ’em. :o)

  25. One back at ya from Chris: 1 Bar Cream Cheese, 1 jar marshmallow cream. Heat in microwave for about 2-3 minutes, stirring about every minute. Slice some apples and dip them in this wonderful goodness. You will then be able to justify how healthy it is, because, (as you say) Look! There are apples in it!
    Much love,
    holly

  26. I have never seen this many people so devoted to cream cheese. It clogs my arteries just thinking on it.

  27. Lea Margaret says:

    The Captain Rodney’s dip is THE dip to take to Delta Christmas parties. OH MY MERCY, it is SOOOOO good!

  28. Until now, I have only been aware of the normal, um, yellow, Ro-Tel dip, the one with the Velveeta. I did not know that White Ro-Tel Dip even existed, and I think my holiday season might be better for it. I see this being served right alongside our normal on Christmas Eve! Thanks, Janie, via BooMama!

  29. the fact that you are able to write a post about the cream cheese leaves me humbled and awestruck.

    Thank You

  30. Lemme tell you…the Captain Rodney’s recipe is very similiar to one we had the other night called Buffalo Chicken Dip…only this one had rotissiere chicken and ranch dressing mix added in as well…served with tostito’s scoops.

    I embarrassed myself, my family and my country (not to mention gained 5 pounds while doing so).

  31. Can Boucan sause be found way up north?

  32. From a nutritional standpoint, cream cheese is a dairy product and women do need to up their dairy intake. Just sayin’.

    SERIOUSLY! After the souptacular do a Blog Carnival on CREAM CHEESE!! Shut up! How cool would that be?

  33. Please, oh please, do this simple thing and thank me later. It’s the best thing you will ever try.

    3 packs of cream cheese, one can of Hot, Thick and Chunky salsa. Use your mixer on it until it is a fluff-ball of yumminess. Dip Fritos, Doritos, tortilla chips, or your finger and enjoy. It’s my all time favorite.

  34. Yum, Yum, YUM! I am so trying both of these (and several of the ones in the comments) in the near, near future (I happen to *have* a stash of that 98 cent cream cheese in my fridge, and it is *so* funny to me that you posted on it, b/c my best friend and I just recently had a “Philly Cream Cheese is on sale for 98 cents” phone call ourselves!)

    I love the idea of a cream cheese carnival! And I have no doubt that you can come up with a great title! :)

  35. We are having a christmas “soiree” this Saturday night and I have not 1 but 2 people bringing captain rodneys! Just because 1 will not be enough because it is so darn good! Always the hit of the party! And I am all over some white rotel! Keep sending the recipes- I think I need to get my cholesterol up!

  36. Will you give us a shout out when you find milk at a reasonable price?? The trusty Target and Walmart is at 3.99 and that is not a bargain.

    Way to go on the cream cheese….does that go with cereal??

  37. I was at a party last night in which white rotel was served. Fritos were the dipping instrument. There was not a drop left.

    Cream cheese and pork products are a marriage made in heaven.

  38. Other than online, where can I find the Cap’n Rodney’s ??

    I have my .98 CC stash – need to use some of it up !!

  39. MMM… white cheese dip is so good!! For a yummy variation we make it also with cilantro, serrano peppers, and onions (and maybe red peppers) and it is TASTEY!!! :)

  40. Since you love the cream cheese… my favorite easy snack is to soften cream cheese and then stir in picante sauce and there you have easy chip dip. Mmmm!

  41. I can top that…Philly Cream Cheese was on sale at our local store for (drum roll please) 88 cents!! Yippee! And I stocked up and am freezing it. Thanks for the recipes :)

  42. ok, here is my cream cheese EASY PEASY dish.

    Ready?
    got your pen and paper?

    Cream cheese (duh)
    Fresh Garlic

    Done, thank you.

    Use a handy dandy garlic press and squeeze the garlic into the cream cheese to taste (we like it garlicky) serve with Hawaiian bread. YUM.

    I am asked to slave over this dish for EVERY get together. *quickly scans to see if anyone else has a dish as hard as mine*

  43. Brand Name cream cheese for less than a dollar is well worth getting excited about! A few days ago I made an amazing Raspberry Cheesecake (http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_25282,00.html) which takes 2.5 LBS of cream cheese…yes 2.5 POUNDS….finding it for less than a dollar would be a very good thing indeed!

  44. You can NEVER have enough cream cheese recipes. I especially can’t wait to try the first one!

  45. Cream cheese makes everything better! The white rotel dip looks so good- I’ve never seen anything like that before.

  46. What is Boucan sauce and where do you get it?????

  47. Here is my contribution–
    Combine 1 pkg. Oreos with 1 pkg. cream cheese in a food processor. Roll in 1 inch balls and dip in melted white chocolate. MMMMMMM!

  48. You had Bossy at Cream Ch…

  49. My sister-in-law introduced me to Captain Rodney’s Cheese Bake over Thanksgiving. You are not kidding that it is the best tasting appetizer ever invented. People were stepping on each others toes to get to the dish. I will be in Mississippi for Christmas and will be sure to buy 5 more bottles to have on hand!

    Merry Christmas!
    Courtney

  50. yes ma’am, praise His Holy Name.

    WHITE rotel dip?

    boomama, if you could have improved upon rotel dip by simply omitting the velveeta and only substituting cream cheese, then girl, YOU. HAVE. DONE. IT.

  51. 1 8oz package of cream cheese
    2 Tbsp. milk
    1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
    1/2 C. finely chopped dill pickles
    6-7 Tbsp. dill pickle “juice”
    dash salt

    Mix it all together and serve with Ruffles potato chips.

  52. I’ll definitely be trying the Capt. Rodney’s over the Christmas holidays. Always like to amaze my in-laws with my culinary prowess!

  53. Is there one kind of Boucan that you should use in the recipe? There are four different kinds on the site we linked to. Thanks!

  54. I am going to the store RIGHT NOW!

    And those recipes…

    I’m drooling now. My keyboard thanks you.

  55. Oh my, just reading the comments will all the yummy recipes is making me hungry. Both of the recipes you posted look fantastic also.

    I had to tell you that I have been off diet coke for a month now, and much to my surprise I did not die. It was a long hard detox but I now drink ice tea and water. I know, yuck. But the time had come for me to give up my diet coke obcession. Have one for me, will you?

    Have a great day,
    Julie

  56. Where do you get the Boucan sauce? Do you have to order it or is at the grocery store?

    Emergency….I have bunko tonight….

  57. First and foremost, can I just say that I love your writing. I just found your website last week because of the Soup-tacular and I am hooked. Your sense of humor and wry, but holy, take on every-day life just tickles me. I lived in NC for 10 years and you make me miss the South (am in MI for the past 6 years).

    Secondly, I found this recipe for pork tenderloin with a cream cheese sauce here: http://www.kraftfoods.com/kf/recipes/recipedetail.htm?recipe_id=107296

    It is divine and my family just loves it. Happy cooking!

  58. for a change try substituting cooked shrimp for the sausage in the white rotel ( I just thaw the frozen variety and chop it a bit)….simmer til bubbly…..best hot shrimp dip I’ve had and it’s EASY! If you want to add some spice feel free….I personally like a little more kick than the rotel gives. Cavenders and a little hot sauce…..YUM!

  59. Cheap cream cheese is very vital especially with the price of milk these days…

  60. Ignore previous comment where I say “very vital.” You wouldn’t know that I was a former school teacher. How dare I! How about this “Cheap cream cheese is vitally important especially with the price of milk these days.” Whew! I feel better!

  61. Oh, good, I’m not the only one who gets excited about low cream cheese prices! I seriously was happy to read that you were so excited too! LOL I totally stock up when it’s that price.

  62. Really, the cream cheese carnival must happen. But just in case you are busy right now getting ready for some other carnival, DON’T miss this little slice of cream cheese heaven from Pampered Chef. I do not have the mini baker referred to in the recipe but found another small casserole dish of mine worked well. It’s tough to pull off quite the right size; you want a nice layer of cheese on the bottom, so an 8-inch square is too big; but you also want lots of surface area for the mozzerella and parm.
    And, by the way, she suggests veggies. My introduction was with fritos. And I cannot imagine this on a carrot. But I’m sure it’s great if you like that kind of thing.
    Oh, and I haven’t added the veggies on top either. Why interrupt the arteries clogging, right?

    Hot Pizza Dip
    Posted by Mary Ellen

    1 8 oz. package cream cheese softened
    1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning
    1 cup mozzarella cheese shredded
    3/4 cup parmesan cheese
    1 8 oz. can pizza sauce
    2 tablespoons green pepper chopped
    2 tablespoons green onions sliced

    Preheat oven to 350° F. Combine cream cheese and Italian seasonings , spread onto a 8″ mini-baker.

    In a small bowl, combine mozzarella and parmesan. Sprinkle 1/2 on top of the cream cheese. Spread pizza sauce over the cheese mixture. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Top with bell pepper and green onions.
    Bake for 15-18 minutes. Serve with French bread or fresh vegetable dippers.

  63. What’s up with boomama’s blog?
    I was on Lisa, The Preacher’s Wife, blog reading her blog—promise you —-I wasn’t touching a key and the next thing I knew was that your story about cream cheese in wal-mart pops up…how did that happen? But you know my computer woes…

  64. I’m still working on switching out the water dispenser on my fridge for a cream cheese dispenser.
    I make a mean Cream Cheese Pizza with the cream cheese under the pizza sauce.
    In case you’re not a cook, the best way to get cream cheese UNDER the sauce is by spreading the it on the crust first. If you try to slide it under the sauce after the fact, it’s pretty much a losing battle. I’m just saying that in case the filters are off your blog and a moron like me slips in and reads this.
    But my wife assumes the Queen of England is coming when I make this pizza, it’s that good.
    Cheerio!

  65. This “Boucan Sauce” … is it a BBQ Sauce? A Hot-wings style sauce? A sweet/sour sauce? A “chile” sauce? A “cocktail sauce?” What kind of flavor does it have?

  66. Jennifer L. says:

    I just had to leave a note of thanks. As I read this post singing the praises of cream cheese, I followed your link back to the Dec. 2006 post and came across the cheese log recipe. I obtained that same recipe from a friend (although through the oral tradition of recipe-passing my version lost the Accent and the nuts), but whenever I tell people about the dried beef, they look at me like I’ve lost my mind. I feel so validated today…thanks to you!!

  67. Sophie,

    I’m sending YOU the bill for my new gym membership which I will desparately need after testing all these positively inspired recipes!

  68. I’ve had the white rotel dip before and I must say it’s as good as dr pepper deep fried in chocolate. =)

  69. so when is the cream cheese carnival coming?? My favorite easy appetizer is cream cheese spread on 1/2 of a pepperoni slice, then fold the pepperoni over. Done! Yummilicious!!

  70. Women’s Faux Shearing Bucket Hats—
    that is so on my wish list…
    and I’ll buy one if I win!

    okay sophie…what’s happening now…every time i try to leave this comment on your post about Land’s End, a different post pops up…must be the computer operator :)