Earlier today I was walking through Walmart while talking on the phone with Big Mama, and she was in the middle of a Deeply Moving Story when I stopped in my tracks and said, “HOLD ON!”
“What? WHAT?!?!” she asked, no doubt worried that I’d run over someone’s foot with my shopping cart or strolled past the diet Coke without remembering to put a 24-pack in my cart because, believe you me, both of those things would have been terribly traumatic indeed.
Especially forgetting the diet Coke.
The mere thought of it sends a cold chill down my spine.
All Big Mama could do was laugh. Because really, what else can you do when confronted with the reality of my crazy?
But still. I cannot help it that rows upon rows of less-than-one-dollar brand-name cream cheese fills me with all measure of joy.
It also fills me with all measure of empty calories, but that is another story entirely.
So in celebration of the fact that the Philadelphia Brand Cream Cheese, IT IS A BARGAIN RIGHT NOW, I thought I’d post a couple of cream cheese-centric recipes.
Consider it my Christmas gift to you.
And to your cardiologist, as well.
Both of these recipes come from my sister-in-law Janie, a girl who loves a good, cream cheese-laden appetizer as much as I do and doesn’t make me feel the least little bit guilty when she makes these two dishes and I stand over them like some sort of guard dog.
White Rotel Dip
3 packages of pork sausage (mild or spicy is fine – but use at least 1 maple-flavored)
4 packages of cream cheese
2 cans of Rotel tomatoes
Brown sausage and drain. In a large saucepan, combine all ingredients and heat until cheese is melted, being careful to stir often.
Serve with tortilla chips.
And if you’re worried about eating cream cheese AND sausage in the same dish, don’t worry because the tomatoes are TOTALLY healthy, and therefore you’ll be just fine.
Captain Rodney Cheese Bake, aka THE BEST THING YOU WILL EVER EAT IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE EVER
1/2 cup mayonaise
8 oz. cream cheese-softened
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
2 green onions chopped
6 Ritz crackers crumbled
8 slices cooked, crumbled bacon
1/2 cup Boucan Glaze (Oh my merciful heavens at the sheer volume of deliciousness in this stuff. It should be illegal. But I am so glad that it isn’t.)
Mix first 4 ingredients, then spread in a square casserole dish. Sprinkle crackers on top. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Then sprinkle bacon on top and drizzle sauce over all. Serve with your favorite crackers, pita chips, etc.
Then praise the Lord. Praise His holy name. He is faithful and worthy of all your cream cheese-induced praise.