Why, hello, internets!
How are you?
I’ve missed you terribly.
And even though I haven’t written a post because I knew lots of you were visiting the houses on the Tour of Homes and I didn’t want to interrupt the festivities, all of the boring information that rattles around my feeble mind has reached some sort of critical mass, and unfortunately, I have to post again or else my head will explode.
I’m sure you understand.
So today I snuck off while Alex was resting and went to the grocery store.
(Do not worry. I did not leave him home alone. His daddy was here. We are not planning to leave him by himself until he’s at least five. We are quite protective.)
We have all manner of family and friends coming to visit over the holidays, and one of the greatest joys in my life is figuring out what to cook for big, festive occasions and making a list of all the necessary ingredients and then organizing the list and then typing the list and then taking my list to the store and crossing off every single item (WITH A BLACK SHARPIE! IT MUST BE CROSSED OFF WITH A BLACK SHARPIE OR CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!) as I put it in the cart.
It’s a very loose, flexible process for me, as you can clearly tell.
Today I actually went into the store with my list ON A CLIPBOARD, and before you think I’ve lost my mind, I have to tell you that a clipboard? In the grocery store? IT IS HANDY. I really feel like I was able to take my grocery shopping game up to the next level, and if you’re thinking to yourself, “Um, missy? I didn’t know that grocery shopping was a contest,” then let me just assure you that OH, IT TOTALLY IS.
(And today? I was surrounded by amateurs. But that is another tale for another time.)
Anyway, when I was finally in the checkout line and unloading my cart, I heard the woman behind me say “WOW!” And when I turned around to see what was going on, do you know what she was doing, y’all? Do you know?
She was looking at my grocery list! With a look of awe on her face!
Or perhaps it was horror. But still. We’ll pretend like it was FOR SURE a look of awe. Because that is a much more pleasing scenario.
And I confess right here before the whole wide world interweb that it tickled me to death.
I think that I might have some grocery list pride issues.
But, I mean, LOOK. IT’S BEAUTIFUL.
Or at the very least the Methodist side. The Methodists will do just fine in a pinch, but the Episcopalians, well, they are professionals.
OH, I DO KID.
I’m actually going to the liquor store tomorrow. I’ll be wearing large, dark sunglasses and a t-shirt that says, “HELLO, I’M NOT BAPTIST.”
OH, I DO KID. AGAIN! I AM A KIDDER!
And in a surprising development, I only had three blocks of cream cheese on my list. I for one feel that this demonstrates remarkable restraint on my part.
Also – because you know that I have to share grocery bargains when I run across a particularly good one – you can buy a carton of Land O Lakes butter for two dollars in Walmart right now.
Which means that there are currently sixteen sticks of butter in my refrigerator.
In addition to a few other items that had to be put away.
And I don’t know if you realize this, but all those groceries? HAVE TO BE COOKED AND STUFF.
So we’re going to be spending the next few days getting everything ready for our company. I’m going to start on a few things for Christmas dinner and bake this cake and listen to James Taylor and wrap presents and pretty much just soak up the season.
I really do adore this time of year.
Make it merry, y’all.
*It’s Pioneer Woman’s recipe. And it is very delicious. You should try it.
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Good luck with all of the cooking! You can imagine how many bags I come home with each week – feeding 10 people, 3 times a day. It’s great fun.
I do use a grocery list off my computer – I love having the different parts of the store in order on my list so that I don’t miss anything or have to back track.
You can imagine the looks I get at the store! I’m not sure if people are staring at the list, the amount of food, or the eight kids! OK. I’m sure it’s the kids.
Thank you for the smiles. I am just now out the door to the grocery with my pathetic little scribbled list with lots of missing items that I can’t remember I need. Maybe I could borrow your list and I’d have plenty to work with when I get home.
Bring on the chex mix! It’s one of the best parts of the holidays.
Also, I sooooo enjoyed the Holiday Tour of Homes. Thank you for hosting – it was great!
My Chris’ family are all Baptist and in E. Texas, Chris was a deacon, so we know exactly what you are talking about. The funny thing is, his mom can make a cake that will knock you right off your feet. Fortunately, I’m a Methodist-Presbyterian-Baptist-Luteran-Bible church girl, so I could go :)
I’m glad I’m not the only one obsessed with my grocery list. I handwrite mine, though. It’s divided by item type (household, dairy, dry goods, meat, etc.) and I put a little @ by the items I have a coupon for.
James Taylor’s Christmas cd is the best. His version of “Auld Lang Syn” (I totally misspelled that!) almost brings me to tears.
Merry Christmas!
I had to laugh because when I linked to the cake recipe right underneath it was an add to lose 55 lbs.
Your list is amazing.I might just adopt the clipboard idea.
Oops that would be 15 lbs. but still rum cake with fudge icing does not correlate with weight loss to me somehow. :vD
The clip board is the work of a genius.
As a Methodist, I will gladly load up at the liquor store. We can make the transactions out of my trunk at the local Wal Mart or Steinmart parking lots. Complete with brown paper bags and Sydney Bristow level disguises.
As a former Episcopalian-who-is-now-a-Baptist your post made me totally laugh out loud (not LOL’d, which as we all know is not really a laugh at all.. but I digress) Thanks for the laugh!
from another manic panicked everything must be perfect type of gal who doesn’t think you have shopping list pride issues (I just like to call them “standards”)
Diane
Dearest Boo,
I totally ** HEART ** you after the liquor store mentions in this post :). I’m a presby at heart, currently in a Southern Baptist church, and oh, my, I’ve found what you to say to be sooo true.
Apparently there are many who didn’t notice Jesus’ first recorded miracle in Scripture, but don’t get me started…to each his own conviction, I say ;).
Merriest of merries to you…it’s been a delight to spend more time w/youBoo of late :).
I wish I have all that “busyness” for the holidays… It’s just me, my husband and my litlle daughter in town this year and though my daughter keeps us in the Christmas spirit, it’s nothing like what you got going on.
Merry Christmas!
Oh, nothing scares me to death more than the thought of making all that food for company, making just such a list, crossing off each item, then surely realizing I’ve forgotten the five most important ingredients of the whole meal, making all the food, orgainizing how to get everything in the oven at the very same time despite varying cooking temps and times, and then have it all on the table AROUND the same time. My heart is in a panic just thinking about it. I am clearly NOT a Southern Girl, much as I wish I was.
Oh, yes, a clipboard is a shopping must. And just so you know that you are not the only grocery shopping crazy out there, I have my very own “designer” clipboard (the designer being me) AND a master grocery list made on EXCEL that I print out and hang on said clipboard each week.
I’m so proud of you, BooMama. Just so proud.
I’m not a grocery shopping nerd or anything.
You’re the best, and the funniest.
We would be good neighbors :-)
Oh my lands, woman… I’m one of those amateurs to whom you were referring!
But on the bright side, if you invite me over, I’ll stop and get the rum, despite my CofC lineage. I’m one of those nouveau CofCers my self. I can be saved AND still have a drink; next you know, I’ll be saying that you can go to heaven if you listen to Christian music that isn’t a capella… (I kid! I already preach that.)
Alright, well, my New Year’s resolution will be to get a clipboard for grocery shopping!
I just realized reading this post how much you’ve influenced me. When I did my shopping, I picked up a block of cream cheese with no definate plan in mind. Just the vague thought that you couldn’t really have a holiday with out it.
I’m with ya. I actually have a spreadsheet, divided into categories of the store; canned, frozen, etc. But a clipboard, dude you rule! Guess I better add one to my list :). Because it is a contest and I must be able to smuggly walk the aisles with all my pretend organization, ya baby! And MERRY CHRISTMAS, thanks for your great blog, it brings me happiness.
I think we were sisters seperated at birth. ; )
I’m the same way about the list but have not arrived at such an awesome process as to have clip board with me at the store, even though they are my best friend at home on a daily basis.
I too am amazed at your list. How I wish mine always looked like that when I’m done. You have raised the bar of christmas list making in my mind.
Gotta go type mine now in a Word Document, complete with borders and graphics.
(mumbling…I will top hers, I can do better…evil maniacal laugh, heh heh heh..)
It was definitely a look of awe! That organized grocery list is to be envied! On the other hand, I do not envy you having to cook all that!
I am absolutely cracking up right now…laughing out loud with nobody home. I too am trying to break free of my Baptist stronghold but that’s a whole other issue. My one sneaky venture into a liquor store was 14 years ago for a bottle of liqueur to make authentic tiramasu…yum!! The bottle still sits in my cupboard. On another note…I’m jealous for your dairy prices. Butter was 5.99/lb at my local market…I refused to buy it. Costco was better at 3.99 but still!! Nobody can drop a crumb of the precious Christmas baking. Have a wonderful Christ-filled holiday with your family and friends!!
Missy, do you realize that cake recipe has 23 ingredients!!!!!!!!! Hmmm!!!
I’m laughing at the Sharpie deal…my husband will accept no less when crossing off his lists, too. In fact, he carries a Sharpie mini in his pocket at all times! He’s such the Eagle Scout and dare not make fun of all the stuff in my purse…he’s just as well-equipped, but in his pockets instead of an actual handbag! haha
Boo –
OK…I was impressed with the list. But, Boo – you disappoint me with the Wal-Mart thing. I stand by my belief that Wal-Mart is a pretend grocery store. It can’t do all things well…so the groceries suffer. Especially the produce. Angela disagrees…she is a Wal-Mart girl all the way. But I tell her the best grocery shoppers kick it Publix style.
And…since you have all that butter, and since you are a southern girl and I’m sure you keep a stick sitting room temp at all times…keep a bag of veggie-flavored Wheat Thins Toasted Chips close by. Dip a corner in the butter and thank the Lord for it. Don’t think about what you are doing. Just enjoy and thank the Lord for this glorious butter-filled season.
Don’t you hate when that special holiday recipe calls for 2 Tablespoons of liquor? I’ve tried to “disguise” myself in a hoodie and sunglasses. No eye contact with anyone in the store. Just get in and get out.
And, not everyone in “Yankee-land” gets their alcohol at the grocery store! Let’s hear it for good old PA!
OH you are TOO Funny!!!! I grew up Baptist and have never been in a liquor store, either!
I found your blog a couple of days ago and love it.
A local Presbyterian pastor of a large church one said that the difference between Presbyterians and Baptists is that the P.’s will speak to their fellow church members in the liquor/wine stores.
I thought that was too funny.
Love your blog,
Christy
I do love a list, a typed list even better, and now the idea of a typed list on a clipboard for the grocery – you have made my day!
As your proud professional Episcopalian sister, I think it goes without saying that I will gladly supply the dark rum and/or any other spirits that you may need this holiday season. If I don’t have in stock, Brother will. :)
I was doing my Christmas menu/shopping list in MS Word last night and took a break to surf the net. Saw your post and busted up laughing – mine was color-coded based on what day I was making each item on the menu so that I would know when to buy the fresh ingredients. I like to say that I put the “A” in Type A. Nice to find someone who doesn’t think that’s slightly insane (even though it probably is).
Black sharpies and clipboards make my heart skip a beat.
I work at the Giant Retailer and let me tell you that I see this one woman come through every so often with a clipboard (and just a regular pen, but that’s ok?) Anyway, I thought she was soo with it. And together and I almost bought a clipboard for myself after work. But I didn’t because it was 1:30 in the morning and I just wanted to scram.
I am sure there is a liquor store at the county line that would let you buy some dark rum with your Methodist fake ID.
Go! Girl (or should I say Woman) Go!!!!!
When mt three kids were at home I always took my clip board to the store. It’s great to have when you shop with a long list. I love cooking for a big crowd and the best part is menu planning and typing out the lists!!!
I type my list up also, it’s easier to read & I can keep a running list on my computer. This allows me to change or add things to my list. May have to get a clipboard, because the list always ends up in my mouth. Otherwise I lose it in the cart. I could tape it to the cart or maybe I will tye the clipboard to the cart.
PS if kids are reading the list for you, this counts as reading for school & can be logged onto their reading log. That is if your school makes you keep track of your kid reading book, minutes, pages etc.
I only have two more batches of Chex Mix to make before production ceases until next season. My recipe is similar to Pioneer Woman’s except the real garlic. And I am going to try a batch with ranch dressing mix just to see.
Merry Christmas Boo!
I just figured out why you are so cool…you have Walter Anderson prints in your home, too!! He’s my most favorite artist and we have tons of Walter Anderson prints and pottery in our home. It’s an obsession. You rock!
Your Baptist comments made me seriously laugh out loud! So much so I think it bordered on a snorting laugh out loud!
Well praise be to God that I am not the only one who types up big important grocery lists, organized by section and then crosses them off with joyous abandon. The clipboard, though is a stroke of genius. I’ll have to kick up my grocery shopping chops too! And at the top of my list right now (still waiting to be entered into Excel)(so the columns are all straight and even)(b/c I have more time than I know what to do with right now on the 20th of December) right at the top of the list is the cream cheese for Captain Rodney’s dip. I ordered the glaze and it’s part of a pirate themed gift for a dear friend but I got a bottle for me too. And the cream cheese for the cream cheese pretzel jello heaven that will be coming out of the kitchen for Christmas Eve.
Oh, and a Lutheran will be more than happy, nay proud! to go on the booze run for you Baptist types! Martin loved the beer doncha know!
Merry Christmas all!
Christine
You are so funny!! I have come to your blog to find that I am not alone in organizing a list and typing it and taking it along to cross off everything I buy! Last night I made my list in sections such as: Christmas Eve, Christmas Morning Breakfast and Christmas Dinner! I decided what I was going to make and then checked the cupboards twice to see what I had and didn’t have and wrote down what I needed for each meal and now I am ready to go to the store. I also go through the ads and write down sales from the other stores and ad match at Wally World!! I mean, surely I am brillant right? Making these lists has brought me to a new respect for Santa making his list and checking it twice kind of thing!
By the way, do you think you could pick up some liquor for me for my vodka sauce, seeing as you are going anyway and I can’t find my sunglasses?!!!
Merry Christmas!
Love,
_Patty
Wow! Well, ever since I’ve been boycotting Walmart because I got shot at in their parking lot, I’ve actually been spending atleast $400+ less per month! I think I get to save more just not shopping there period.
And your cake choice sounds scrumptious! It would take alot of patience to have to pull out 20-something ingredients for a recipe though. Hmmmm, I think my tummy is telling me this sounds like a worhty challenge:)
I laughing about the rum. I can top that, I am Baptist and pregnant but I am in dire need of some vodka for a delicious Pasta Vodka recipe that I have. I told my husband there is something terribly wrong with a pregnant woman going to a liquor and buying a lonely small bottle of vodka. If I was buying lots of bottles it would be obvious it was for a party. But that one lonely bottle would raise some eyebrows. I would at least ask them to kindly slip it into a brown paper bag for me. :)
I am envious, tomorrow is my big shopping day and I am already dreading it. Maybe a clipboard and a Sharpie would help.
Dearest, I’m beginning to think you and I were separated at birth! I have the same system for my shopping list. I use MS Word with 2 columns and organize it in the order of where everything is in the store.
Now I don’t use a Sharpie- sorry :(
And hadn’t thought to use a clipboard!
After gushing about the shopping list I am feeling a mite geeky now.
But I like my shopping list and would not do the big shopping without it. What is ‘big shopping’ you ask? Why it’s when I have to get everything as I’ve let my cupboards get practically bare.
I’m with you about the whole alcohol shopping as well. Our local Hy-Vee has a separate area with its’own entrance for alcohol. So I never go in there as I don’t need to. But they stock the Welch’s Sparkling Grape Juice there which I serve with holiday meals and for festive occasions.
I feel quite guilty when I have to go in there after our fizzy grape juice.
I’m always sure a fellow church member is going to see me in there. It bothers me as I am the pastor’s assistant and the office manager for the church we attend!
Oh well…
Have a blessed Christmas!
Tee hee hee… and I thought I was the only grocery list nazi out there… you should see mine… ;) BUT I have never used a clipboard… it’s time to start! And I agree… must be a sharpie.
Another Baptist checking in – last week I was travelling out of town with my husband, (a deacon, no less!!) When he stopped for a bathroom break, I told him if he would bring me a bottle of rum, I’d make him some Bananas Foster. He came back to the car carring a brown bag…I hid it under the seat………..
One year I decided to make a fruitcake. A REAL fruitcake with BRANDY.
This is a small town and I am strong proponent of avoiding “even the appearance of evil”. Unfortunately for me, our grocery stores do not sell liquor. This meant I could slide a bottle into my cart and hide it under some more sanctified celery.
No, I had to go to the liquor store. I was too embarassed to park in the parking lot, so I parked at next lot over which was for mentally ill people who had, you know, problems. But if anyone recognised my van (it’s a small town) they’d understand Groovy being in a mental illness parking lot. I’m sure they’d assume I was in there ministering to the patrons by singing to them.
Riiiiight.
Anyway, after I was sure that no one was looking, I slipped into the store. I never saw that many bottles IN MY LIFE! Nor I had ever seen that many patrons – all of whom were staring at me because when the man asked me if he could help me I said, “Yes, I need a VERY SMALL bottle of brandy for FRUITCAKE because I DO NOT EVER DRINK LIQUOR, I ONLY USE IT FOR COOKING!!!!!!”
I’m quiet and stealthy like that.
I’ve also NEVER gone back. Mostly because I was the only one who actually liked that fruitcake and I ate the entire thing and Mulletman drank off the rest of the brandy…
I’m sure she was looking at you in awe because that clipboard is a seriously great idea and I totally plan to start using one.
Merry Christmas, Sophie, to you and yours. And way to go…three blocks of cream cheese. Good job!
One of my favorite sayings “I so don’t have time for this”! Which I frequently say to one of the attorneys here…but in jest….but really, I could not resist commenting…I SO BAD NEEDED the laugh OUT LOUD that I did when I read this post! You cracked me up…more than I already am—working for a bunch of tax attorney’s at the END OF THE YEAR!!!(for crying out loud!!!)
I hope you don’t mind if when I re-do my blog at the beginning of the year—can I add you to my sidebar? As a great place to visit—encouragement, laughter, God, the whole shootin’ match! Be blessed—from NW Florida!
I can’t read through all these comments, but MY HEAVENS! How much did all that on the list cost???
That’s some plans you have for the holidays!
Ha ha ha!! I love all of the Walmart bags! I am from Northwest Arkansas- home of Walmart headquarters, and we love us some Wal-Walt here!! : )
Honestly, you crack me up!! I have JUST recently found your blog, and totally and thoroughly enjoy reading it! I laughed so hard at your going to the liquor store with sunglasses and that shirt!! I am a fellow Southern Baptist girl. lol. Totally feelin you! Thanks for the entertainment and window into your world!
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