Hey. You know that part of the recipe? Where they tell you to make sure you have a 12-cup Bundt pan?

Well they are not kidding.

You don’t even want to know how long it took me to clean up this mess.

Or how many times the lyrics to “MacArthur Park” ran through my head.

I’m going to take a little bloggy hiatus during the holidays, and while I’ll probably be posting some-ish, I’m giving myself the gift of taking at least a week off, because really, nobody in my family wants to spend the Christmas season with someone who says, “OH! GOOD POINT ABOUT BABY JESUS! HOLD THAT THOUGHT WHILE I BLOG ABOUT IT!”

So I believe a bit of a break is in order.

But before I go, I thought I’d answer a few of the questions that have made their way to my inbox over the last few days.

Clearly this is going to be the most fun thing you have ever experienced in your WHOLE LIFE EVER.

Do you really read all of your comments?

I do. I read every single comment and every single email. I even read emails sent from made-up people like Goran Czuelaske that say, “Many moons have shone to your heart lit candle one millions. I friend to you! I bank account money send for trouble!”

Oh, Goran. You do amuse me.

But unfortunately, I have come to grips with the fact that I can’t answer all my comments and emails. I try – but the email alone can get a little overwhelming. Actually, one of my favorite things in the world is to go to a coffee shop with my computer and do nothing but answer email and respond to comments for a couple of hours.

The problem is that I get to do that approximately once a month, and it’s just not enough to keep me up-to-speed. So many thanks to you sweet people who email me and don’t say mean things when I don’t answer you for, like, two months. You are very gracious and kind.

I want to start a blog. How do I do that?

Until you know you’re going to stick with the blogging thing, I’d start off with one of the free blogging services. Originally my blog was on Blogger, and it was a great way to get my bloggy feet wet.

When I changed my domain to boomama.net, I switched to WordPress, and I am a huge fan.

Of WordPress. Not of BooMama. Because that would be tacky.

Anyway, there is lots of great information about starting a blog right here. My biggest piece of advice is that once you settle on a blogging platform, you also need to settle on how much of your real life you’re going to share on your blog…because once you publish that info (last name, kids’ names, information about where you live, etc.), you can never, ever take it back.

Which is why I never blog about all the trillions of dollars we keep stored underneath the flower pot by our garage. Because I would hate for a Ring of Thieves^TM to steal that small portion of our vast fortune.

Ahem.

How do you get so much traffic on your blog?

I probably get this question more than any other, and the truth of the matter is that it makes me terribly uncomfortable, so much so that every single time I see it I want to cover my eyes and run away from the computer and crouch down in a corner and rock back and forth and shout “LALALANOIDEAWHATYOUARETALKINGABOUTLALALA.”

I am very mature.

But the bottom line is that traffic takes time. And also: traffic is TOTALLY RELATIVE. I may have a good bit of traffic for this little corner of the interweb, but the tech blogs that my husband reads get more traffic in an hour than I get in a whole day.

And honestly? Some of the most fun I’ve ever had in my life was when I had less than 100 page views a day, my friends from college were talking back and forth in the comments, and I had absolutely no idea that anyone other than those sweet friends would ever read. It was a blast.

In conclusion comma I really do think that if you focus more on building relationships than on building traffic, you’ll be a much happier blogger.

The end.

What does your Christmas Card Tree look like when you have lots of cards on it?

Okay. I totally made up this question. But we’ve gotten a ton of cards (Don’t worry. I am not being literal. That is what the writer-people refer to as hyperbole. If we had gotten a literal ton of cards, they would not all fit on the tree. Needless to say.) over the last two days, and OH, the fun that is the Christmas Card Tree right now.

If you happen to be at a day-after-Christmas sale and see an inexpensive Christmas tree, you should absolutely buy it for this very reason. You will heart it deeply.

Do you have any ideas for a kid-friendly Christmas breakfast?

Well, I don’t know how kid-friendly it is, but I can most definitely tell you what I’ll be cooking for Christmas breakfast. I did ask the little man for his input, but seeing as how his reply was, “CHRISTMAS BACON, MAMA!,” I figured I’d better add a couple of extra items to the menu.

So, here’s what we’re having:

Granite Steps Coffee Cake
Breakfast Casserole (made with sausage and no crescent rolls since the coffee cake has biscuit dough in it)
CHRISTMAS BACON, MAMA (known in culinary circles as, well, bacon)
Fresh Fruit

And nobody asked, but since I tend to overshare, here’s what I’m cooking for Christmas supper:

Asian Pork Tenderloin
Big Mama’s Dressing
Squash Supreme
Sweet Potato Casserole (Except I use butter. Go big or go home.)
Asparagus Casserole
Baby Lima Beans
Strawberry Pretzel Salad (Except I use real cream cheese and real Cool Whip. Go big or go home.)
Rolls
Pumpkin Rum Cake with Brown Sugar Icing
Slap Yo Mama Chocolate Pudding Pie (Make the pudding. Put it in a pre-baked pie crust. Make merengue. Put in oven until merengue browns. Find yo mama. But don’t you dare slap her. Just hug her real big.)

So.

I have a little cooking to do.

I hope each one of you sweet internets spends Christmas surrounded by the people you love the most. And more than anything, I pray you experience the joy of the One who loves you more than you can ever imagine.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

So I started off my morning emailing with Kelly about clipboards, and I decided to look around and see what the internet has to offer. Because as I understand it you can “click” on all sorts of “items” at various “websites” and put them in a virtual “shopping cart,” and then enter your “credit card number” and the “merchants,” they will “ship” the “merchandise” to your “home.”

Though I am somewhat “unfamiliar” with this “newfangled” “technology.”

(Sorry for all that quotation mark business. Sometimes I just get carried away with the silliness.)

(Or “carried away.” With the “silliness.”)

(“SORRY!”)

Here are a few clipboards I found right off the bat.

Old School – You crafty types could totally do something cute and custom with these.

Colorful Old School – This one is great if you just want a little punch of color.

Monogrammed Acrylic – A sweet friend of mine actually gave me one similar to this yesterday, but I will keep it at home because I think the acrylic would scratch if I put the clipboard in heavy-duty rotation. So I’m going to use it for papers, forms, etc. that I need for work-related stuff.

Ever-So-Sassy Personalized Clipboard – I don’t know if I could handle all the ribbon on some of these, but if you like super-girly things, they should be right up your alley.

And then Genni sent me a link (oh, you people are more helpful than you know) to the MOST delightful website, a website that made my pulse quicken and my eyes bug and I think I even got just the slightest bit dizzy.

So here are some great options I found at See Jane Work:

Sassy, Durable Clipboard – I actually have the pink and brown polka dot version thanks to Janie, and I adore it. This is the clipboard that accompanied me to the grocery store yesterday, and it did a beautiful job.

Sassy, Durable-But-Smaller Clipboard – This one is perfect for all you girls who would rather have something that will fit in your purse. I however, prefer a clipboard that I have to cradle in my arms, as if I am conducting some sort of Official Survey For Government Officials Who Do Official Things.

And finally:

File Folders That Have Nothing To Do With Clipboards But DO YOU SEE HOW CUTE THESE ARE? – When I saw these file folders, I wanted to create stacks of paper so that I could label the file folders and then give the stacks of paper cute, colorful homes.

IT IS A SICKNESS.

A sickness I will document using a green Sharpie fine point marker on a white legal pad so that I can carefully use correction fluid to eliminate any pesky stray marks before I assemble all related documents in a plastic pocket folder.

And then my heart will sing.

Why, hello, internets!

How are you?

I’ve missed you terribly.

And even though I haven’t written a post because I knew lots of you were visiting the houses on the Tour of Homes and I didn’t want to interrupt the festivities, all of the boring information that rattles around my feeble mind has reached some sort of critical mass, and unfortunately, I have to post again or else my head will explode.

I’m sure you understand.

So today I snuck off while Alex was resting and went to the grocery store.

(Do not worry. I did not leave him home alone. His daddy was here. We are not planning to leave him by himself until he’s at least five. We are quite protective.)

We have all manner of family and friends coming to visit over the holidays, and one of the greatest joys in my life is figuring out what to cook for big, festive occasions and making a list of all the necessary ingredients and then organizing the list and then typing the list and then taking my list to the store and crossing off every single item (WITH A BLACK SHARPIE! IT MUST BE CROSSED OFF WITH A BLACK SHARPIE OR CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!) as I put it in the cart.

It’s a very loose, flexible process for me, as you can clearly tell.

Today I actually went into the store with my list ON A CLIPBOARD, and before you think I’ve lost my mind, I have to tell you that a clipboard? In the grocery store? IT IS HANDY. I really feel like I was able to take my grocery shopping game up to the next level, and if you’re thinking to yourself, “Um, missy? I didn’t know that grocery shopping was a contest,” then let me just assure you that OH, IT TOTALLY IS.

(And today? I was surrounded by amateurs. But that is another tale for another time.)

Anyway, when I was finally in the checkout line and unloading my cart, I heard the woman behind me say “WOW!” And when I turned around to see what was going on, do you know what she was doing, y’all? Do you know?

She was looking at my grocery list! With a look of awe on her face!

Or perhaps it was horror. But still. We’ll pretend like it was FOR SURE a look of awe. Because that is a much more pleasing scenario.

And I confess right here before the whole wide world interweb that it tickled me to death.

I think that I might have some grocery list pride issues.

But, I mean, LOOK. IT’S BEAUTIFUL.

I got every single thing on my list except for dark rum. And that is because I am Baptist so obviously I have to wait until the Episcopalian side of the family gets to town so that I can make them go to the liquor store for me.

Or at the very least the Methodist side. The Methodists will do just fine in a pinch, but the Episcopalians, well, they are professionals.

OH, I DO KID.

I’m actually going to the liquor store tomorrow. I’ll be wearing large, dark sunglasses and a t-shirt that says, “HELLO, I’M NOT BAPTIST.”

OH, I DO KID. AGAIN! I AM A KIDDER!

And in a surprising development, I only had three blocks of cream cheese on my list. I for one feel that this demonstrates remarkable restraint on my part.

Also – because you know that I have to share grocery bargains when I run across a particularly good one – you can buy a carton of Land O Lakes butter for two dollars in Walmart right now.

Which means that there are currently sixteen sticks of butter in my refrigerator.

In addition to a few other items that had to be put away.

And I don’t know if you realize this, but all those groceries? HAVE TO BE COOKED AND STUFF.

So we’re going to be spending the next few days getting everything ready for our company. I’m going to start on a few things for Christmas dinner and bake this cake and listen to James Taylor and wrap presents and pretty much just soak up the season.

I really do adore this time of year.

Make it merry, y’all.

*It’s Pioneer Woman’s recipe. And it is very delicious. You should try it.

There’s a little girl in Texas who needs our prayers.