I Know That The Internets Feel My Pain

For the last few days Melanie has been keeping me updated about Target’s winter clearance sale. I promised myself that I wouldn’t buy any Christmas-related items until the prices were drastically reduced, so when Melanie informed me yesterday that her Target had put up the 90% off signs (NINETY PERCENT OFF, my friends), I felt like it was time to investigate.

So this morning, after eating breakfast at McDonald’s, our little family went to Target. We’d been there all of four minutes when I ran across this plate:

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I do hope you’re not blinded by all the adorableness.

And the cost? Regularly $2.99. But today? TWENTY NINE CENTS.

I bought eight of them.

As I was putting the plates in the cart, I explained to D. that these melamine plates are great for taking people cookies or candy during the holidays. He agreed that they were a deal, and after a few more minutes of listening to me talk about THE PLATES! THE SUPER-CUTE PLATES!, he murmured something about going to get some Starbucks.

Which is basically Man-Speak for “I think I’ve had enough of the shopping now.”

About ten minutes later, after the little man and I made our way over to the accessories and shoes because I am always on a quest to find the perfect Target tote bag, we spotted D. an aisle or so away. He walked over to us, handed me my coffee, and as we were wheeling back toward the kids’ clothes, I stopped dead in my tracks.

Because I saw these.

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CLEARLY THEY ARE DIVINE.

I said something like, “Oh my goodness. OH MY GOODNESS.”

Then D. said, “You mean you LIKE those? Really? Hmmm.”

At which point I immediately thought that PERHAPS THIS IS WHY HUSBANDS AND WIVES SHOULD NOT SHOP TOGETHER.

So I took a deep breath and said, “These shoes are adorable. They are everything I love. They have a big wedge heel, a funky fabric, and I would wear them all the time. ALL THE TIME.”

D. looked completely puzzled and said, “But they look like something from The Captain and Tennille Show in the 70’s.”

OHNOHEDIDUNT.

The fact that he had unknowingly burst my shoe bubble was bad enough. But I LOVED me some Captain and Tennille back in the day, y’all. And I would be tickled – yay, even honored – to wear any pair of Toni Tennille-reminiscent shoes. Even if her husband did happen to dress just like, you know, Captain Merrill Stubing.

So I took another deep breath. There was no point trying to explain the appeal of the shoes, because, I mean, how do you even begin to tell your husband – who was just making casual conversation and meant no harm whatsoever – that HE HAS STOLEN YOUR SHOE JOY?

God love him.

But you’ll be happy to know that I’m doing okay now. I really am. In fact, I’m hoping to fully reclaim my shoe joy sometime in the next day or two. Because I am more than a conqueror.

And make no mistake: I will return to the Target shoe department. Alone. And while I may be standing on a wedge instead of a rock, I will stand on that wedge proudly to win soles for Jesus. And to build my shoe kingdom.

Hallelujah and Amen.

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Comments

  1. I have to say I love you. I come here every day to read your blog and laugh. You make me smile and laugh. I love how you will proudly win soles for Jesus. I’ve never looked at shoes as a ministry before. I think I need to step up my ministry and start winning soles for Jesus. Now if only my hubby would see it the same way.

    Anyway, I wanted to thank you for your blog and brightening my day. I really need it because otherwise I will go insane.

  2. excuse me…can you NOT forget your sister-in-law!!!! STOP IT!!! I have the major NEED to know about these things -you see??!!! OMG…do you think I will still be in luck?? oh, so cute!!! I am in love!!!
    xoxo,
    J

  3. I think the plates were adorable and I will be going to my Target tomorrow and see if I can find me some of those 29 cent bargains!!

  4. If they were sneakers, would you be speaking in tongues? Bah-dum-dump.

  5. Don’t worry, Boomama, the Lord will persecute those who don’t act according to shoe joy doctrine. Your obedience is to be commended. Victory, my friend. Victory.

  6. the Steinmart(s) in my part of Nashville is having a HUGE EVERYTHING!MUST!GO! sale. up to 80% off!

    SERIOUSLY!

    Come See!

    Blessings,
    K

  7. Wow – those shoes are intense! You’re braver than I am! What would you wear them with?

    Great idea w/ the cookie plates!

  8. Awww (jaw instantly dropping) I wish my Target(s) was having a 90% off christmas stuff- I did however get a lit “Buck” Deer for 5$. I think that is pretty good!!!

  9. I love a lady that can appreciate a good sale! And forget cookie plates (although it would be cute) – I’d get those plates to let my daughter eat off – I don’t think she could break THOSE!

  10. Those shoes are a gift from the Lord, here to represent all that is good and pure in this world. I’ll be making a trip to get me some shoe joy.

    My hubs told me my precious new shoes look like carpet. Boys know nothin about shoes.

  11. That is why I NEVER shop with my husband. Did you see the cute shoes on LPM blog that Beth got? As she said, she has no idea where she’ll walk with God in 2008 but her feet are liable to look good! So will yours my friend! Go and walk with God in those adorable shoes!!

  12. Hmm…90% off now at Target. I’ll have to walk to the store nearest me and check it out.

    Oh, and I avoid shopping with my husband at all costs! He has no taste and he complains about how much I’m spending. What a killjoy! Shopping alone or with a girlfriend is much more pleasant!

  13. To win soles for Jesus? OMG. You are TOO much, Boomama. (I just can’t call you Sophie. You are forever and ever Boomama to me.)

    And I hit the 90% off sale as well. And boy did I ever stock up! I even took a picture of all my loot for the ol’ blawwwg.

  14. I feel your pain on the retro and…spousal problems with it. I feel it. A support group may be in order…wait, that may already be what we have here…never mind.

  15. Now you know that you could do the jitterbug in Muskrat-land all night looong in those shoes. You could (like your friend Beth) call it praise dancin’ for Jesus in 2008.

  16. The shoes are absolutely adorable! I’m too cheap to buy something that isn’t black or brown and can be worn with everything even though they look crappy. But I might be able to be talked into at least trying these on to see how they looked….

  17. Oh. MY. WORD.

    My husband, tooooo, stole my “shoe joy” at Target yesterday. For real!!!

    I RAN to the latest high end guest designer ballet flat. The metallic ones in rose-gold w/ the rosette on the toe? ($29.99, ya’ll! hollah!)

    My husband, who I USUALLY consider to be QUITE fashion forward, immediately winced and said, “Hmpf. Looks like something a little old ‘yankee’ lady would wear with a windsuit.”

    Might as well have punched me in the gut.

    I am still sad today….
    :-(

  18. You can’t shop for shoes with children either. Saw them just yesterday and I WILL go back ALONE to buy them. Truly divine aren’t they??

  19. I found your blog through Robin Storch and absolutely think you are funny. I regularly laugh at your posts. I will say that your shoe shopping experience would have made me have to take off my “hoops”…oh, mm-mm, don’t you make me “hole my hoops”.

    I’ll be back!

  20. We hit the sale at our Target yesterday. Gift tags 100 pack for .09 cents! We loaded up on several things they had left. The plates are so cute. Our Target did not have anymore cute plates.

    Now the shoes are from my era. While you were a little girl when Captain and Tennille was SO popular, my friend I was in high school and I wore shoes like the ones pictured ALL the time. I was the Queen of the Wedge. Elton John did not have anything on me with awesome shoes…I wore them proudly.

    I keep trying to tell my 13 year old daughter that she needs some cute wedge shoes and well, it does not help that I have mentioned the fact I used to wear them. Note to self: never mention again when shopping with picky daughter that I wore something like that when I was in school…sure fire way for her to NOT wear the item.

    Have a blessed day!
    Vickie

  21. Those are by far the cutest shoes I think I have ever seen at Target and I too would pack my family and drive the 30 miles to our closet target to proudly buy them if however I wasn’t participating in the “no buying in 2008” thingy. Jeeez!

    Darn.

    I too was at Target several days ago to purchase some necessities and I scanned the Christmas dpt. They were running 75% off at the time but I showed great restraint. It was hard but I did it. My daughter did not do as well as I did though! She was grabbing things up with a big smile on her face! :)

  22. I will always remember the year the heavens broke open, and I walked into Target at the exact moment they were putting up the 90% off signs. I was literally the only one standing there.
    That is a once in a lifetime moment!

  23. *sigh*

    No more room here for Xmas anything!

    MUST.RESIST.TARGET.

    We’re trying to do the “no extra spending in ’08” thing – with the exception of a set of new mattresses for our bed once the almighty tax refund comes :)

  24. 1. Those shoes are CUTE.
    2. I got a Target giftcard in an appropriate-for-my-Target-habit weakness denomination for Christmas from my darling husband, which guarantees that I will never darken the doors of Target again because that would mean I might SPEND it, and then I would not have the joy of knowing that it’s there. In my purse. To spend. Someday. OH JOY! He is a clever man, my darling husband.

    3. Merill Stubing was SEXEH, girl. He was the Captain of the LOOOOOOOOOVE Boat… all that power, all that romance, all that shiny-headedness. *SWOONS*

  25. Stolen your shoe joy. Crack. Me. Up!

    And be sure to post a picture of your adorable feet in the adorable shoes, missy.

  26. Hilarious!!! You are a girl after my own heart!

    Mandy
    GA
    http://www.madelinegracehopkins@windstream.net

  27. Boomama, I think you may have hit upon another sub-title to file your posts under, “Saving Soles for Jesus”. I love this time of year for finding the most amazing deals!

  28. Those shoes are S-A-S-S-Y! Love them. Want them. Need them.

    As far as husbands go, mine cannot stand to go to Target with me. After about the 12th, OH MY GOODNESS, ISN’T THAT JUST ADORABLE!, exclamation from me, he’s ready to run, as fast as he can, out the door. On Christmas Eve he made an “announcement”. He said…”I would like to dedicate this Christmas to Target, because that is where all of my money has gone.”

    Oh he’s funny, sooo funny.

  29. I needed some new gloves to go with my lovely cream colored parka. Well, “need” is a relative term, isn’t it? Really? I found gloves with a matching muffler and hat marked 50% off with an additional 30% off that. It’s like they were GIVING them away. It gladdens my heart to see other shoppers finding great deals. And great shoes. That’s a given.

  30. Hi, totally found your blog through the blogger ads headlines and I’m hooked. You are hilarious and a total dose of laughter this morning is what I needed. My name is Ashley and after this sampling of great plates, cute shoes, and funny comentary I’ll definately be back to join your “tens” of visitors.

    Thanks!

  31. OMG those shoes are too cute. They’d go so great with a pair of jeans!! Oh yes they would!!

    Oh and I had to laugh about the comment about shopping with a man! Mr brother called me from the parking lot of a mall yesterday- his wife was inside shopping and he was in the car reading the paper. He said that’s the only way they can shop TOGETHER! LOL

  32. Hilarious as always! I love the shoes, and the plates. However, I live in Paraguay where there is no Target!!! GASP…HORROR! I live my shopping dreams through you… :-)

  33. CUTE shoes! I might have to see if I can find a pair for myself!

    I feel you on the 90% sale. Yesterday I got $35 worth of wrapping paper and bows and spent $3.80. Amen and hallelujah. And I won’t have to buy paper or bows for at least five years. Woohoo!

  34. Love the plates. Love the shoes. I just came home with a pitiful looking wreath.

  35. You have a way with words! Thanks for the smile today:)

  36. Wanted to let y’all know that at my Target the 6 foot artificial trees were $1.99!!! So we can all have a tree to display our Christmas cards next year!!!

    Thanks Boomama for the great idea!

  37. Preach it, Sistah!! We are going to Target this very day to see if they have those shoes. I can picture them with a cute denim skirt in the summer. Or capris. Oh my goodness, I can’t wait!!

  38. Already got the plates, but I only got them for 75% off. My kids are eating off of them right now on top of some adorable snowman placemats (also from TARJAY) that will just keep us going right through the winter! I also got some super cute snowman mugs that will probably go for teacher’s gifts next year. And those shoes will be fabulous with jeans or a cute denim skirt. You HAVE to buy them. It would be wrong not to. Just my opinion.

  39. Girl, that man of yours is messing with your ministry, shoe ministry! Trust me shoes are ministry, my 500 shoes in my closet prove it. :o) I hope you don’t mind but I must run down to Target and check out those adorable shoes! The plate, I mean to cute for words. Kohls is having a BIG sale this weekend and my son has gotten the best deals. You see, one day when my sons are married their wives will fall at my feet and thank me profusely that I taught my sons how to shop and to disappear when momma goes to the shoe section.
    Have a great Sunday. I believe I need a short nap and a trip to Target and all will be right with the world!
    Love,
    Patty

  40. and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. Ephesians 6:15 (NIV)

    It’s scriptural sista! You must shod your feet with whatever will help you proclaim the Gospel – now go back to Target and equip yourself!

  41. Thank God for husbands or we’d all have nothing to blog about!

    How dare he burst your shoe bubble?

  42. ChristyB in AL says:

    Funny Funny FUNNY! I love your blog.

    My hubby makes comments about my shoes, too. He wonders how I can wear shoes that look so (dare I type it…) ugly. :) He means well, though.

    Hope you get your shoes soon.

  43. First, those shoes were ADORABLE!
    Second, Captain and Tennille was my very first concert and I just love them!
    Third, DO NOT TAKE HIM SHOE SHOPPING AGAIN! ;P

    Just a thought! Have a great day!

  44. That last paragraph is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life! Okay, maybe not in my whole life, but it’s the funniest thing I’ve read this weekend! Thanks for a good laugh!

  45. You are going to be so sassy in those shoes this spring!
    And 29 cents for super cute plates – oh I love target!

  46. I love the 90% off sale! Cute shoes! I just posted the online sale too! You’ll have to check it out, it’s not as good as 29 cents though! I just went grocery shopping today and got $179 worth of groceries for $32! I know the bargain high that one can get when we are good stewards!
    ~Lori

  47. ……he did NOT!!!
    exactly why the Lord gave me a daughter who loves with a passion, most kinds of shoes!!! ;) You can borrow her if you want…..AND she babysits.

  48. Those are some delicious shoes. You must return & buy them immediately. Especially because, unlike those of us up here in the frozen tundra that is the Midwest, you might actually get a chance to wear them before May. Go forth to Target & purchase!

  49. Michelle says:

    Ooooo, I have the cups that match those plates! (Of course when I bought them it was only down to 50% off!)

  50. I need to get myself to Target! We need silver chargers for a wedding this fall…and if I can still find them at 90% off, what could be better?

  51. Came across your blog thanks to BlogHer. I LOVE your tag line. That’s exactly how I feel! :P

    I can totally appreciate a good Target deal. Since I live on an island and we don’t have one, I make sure to make up for lost times every time we travel. Target is my mecca! And 90% off?! I’m SOOO jealous!

  52. those plates would go look great displayed neatly beside my seminary budget!!!!

  53. Mary Lou says:

    You make me laugh and smile with every entry. You definitely are a good dose of medicine. You make a joyful heart in all of us…you go girl.

  54. Oh, somebody please hand me a hankie. You make this Target shopper proud. Sniff Sniff
    LOVE the plates!

  55. I *love* those shoes!! And when you do finally get them home, you can wear them proudly for D. while singing, “Love, love will keep us together–Think of me babe, whenever…”! : )

  56. I’m getting those shoes too-
    I too had my husband with me on Friday when I saw them in Target- and he was on a mission to get out of there! So I will go back tomorrow!

  57. OMG! I have your plates only in T-Shirt Sheet form! I got them on sale at Target in November. I mean they are just like your snowflake plates. I can see myself sitting in bed on my “Oh So Fun” sheets and eating cookies off your plates! Yum!Good thing I never made it to the other side of the store!

  58. I got my daughter a set of sheets just like your plates!! Only at Target can your bedding and plates coordinate!

  59. Great find on the plates! Our Target is bare! I might find one torn gift bag, some ripped wrapping paper, and a bent ornament if I went tomorrow . . .

    But — I NEED those shoes!!!! I’ll definitely be taking a trip to Target this week!

  60. I really, REALLY heart that plate. You did good!

  61. I have to say I’m so disappointed and a wee bit jealous. After reading on your blog that the Christmas stuff at Target was 90% off, I ran out to my local store only to find bows, icicles, and a gimpy Nutcracker. Mr. D needs to understand that you, my friend, got a very good deal.

  62. I did, I heard a choir of angels after that AMEN. Truly, you are an overcomer and this too shall come to pass. Shoe joy cometh in the morning.
    You are such a nut.
    Nancy

  63. Lovin’ the plates and the shoes. Thanks for cracking me up. I realized how much I bargain shop when my three year old dressed up her magnetic paper dolls and suggested they go to Target for some end of the aisle clearance shopping! LOL!

  64. I’m dying here, I’m laughing so hard. Soles for Jesus. Oh my word.

    Those plates are perfect for you – they reminded me of your former header right away. Perfect!

    By the way, it was In The Fall by Jeffrey Lent that I couldn’t finish. All about the life of a woman who happens to be an escaped slave at the end of the Civil War. It was the darkest most depressing book I’ve ever held in my hands. But you were halfway right about We Were the Mulvaneys. I’d read about half the book when the Netflix movie arrived. I watched the movie, pretty much thought it was an awful waste of time I could have spent feeling happy, and never finished the book.

    I wouldn’t even GIVE these books away. I’m taking them back to the used bookstore and good riddance.

  65. It sounds like you need to buy the shoes and then dance around the house singing, “Love will Keep us Together” to your hubby.. either that or “Muskrat Love”.

  66. T e a r s…

    I missed the 90% Target bargainanza???

    More tears.

    I was waiting til the kids got back in school (which is today).

    I woulda bought 10 of those plates, just so I coulda spent a cool $2.90 (don’t ask me why…).

    But da shoes? Yeah….I get it ;).

    :)

  67. Those shoes…they leave Groovy speechless.

  68. Okay, so I went to Target last night and in their clearance department found a few dozen boxes of broken candy canes and some ornament hooks. No cute plates to be seen. And in their shoe clearance? Found some REALLY STINKIN’ ADORABLE boots that I did not buy for my baby and that’s about it. No cute Tennille shoes to be seen. Maybe I should move.

  69. love.love.love those shoes.

  70. Janet (aka JT) says:

    Don’t you know by now when the enemy is attacking? You should’ve said to your husband, “Get behind me, satan!”

    You know, my hubby just got back from a medical mission trip to Africa, and I’ve told him several times that I feel God calling me to the mission field that is the Houston Galleria. He thinks it’s too dangerous for me to attempt this alone, but just as you said, it’s much better for husbands and wives to NOT SHOP TOGETHER. Because he winds up robbing me of all kinds of joy–shoe joy, dress joy, accessory joy…

  71. Fun post, cute shoes, wish I had made it to the target sale, but honestly, its MONDAY and I want to hear your yellow fever news….hurry up and post already :)

  72. Amen sistah.

    That last paragraph is just hilarious.

    Cute plate, btw.

  73. I just hate that you nearly lost your shoe joy right there in the shoe department of Target! What was your husband thinking dashing your dreams of wedgey wonderfulness!?! Thanks for the gigles.

  74. It is Monday, and we are WAITING!!!!!!!Not that we are in the slightest bit impatient. Of course.

  75. Never shop with the husband. The only exception to this rule is that we shop with them, for them. So as to save themselves; erhem…us from buying something embarrasing…

    Also, they tend to be shocked that shirts can cost upwards of fifteen dollars!! I have since converted my DH to shop for quality on the premise that if you buy good quality, it looks better on you and you feel better, too!

    Oh, and the shoes are cute!!

  76. I’m plugging my ears. I don’t want to hear about how cheap Target Christmas stuff is. I will NOT make a trip to Target…..

    Clearly I have to convince myself daily. You aren’t helping with all of the shoe cuteness and everything.

    Definitely go back. As soon as you can sneak away.

  77. it’s noon monday..only I’m afraid a fellow blogger has spilled your beans. but I am dying to hear your take…

    ok it’s 12:03

    where are you?

  78. Here you go. A song that will speak to you…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1B4Q0hugV8

  79. Oh this is where you will be practicing more of that unconditional love stuff with me because those shoes? I agree with D. (But you know better than to know that I have ANY fashion sense.)

  80. Sorry I can’t write a long comment, I have to load the kids up to get to Target!

  81. Awesome post!

    The great thing about shoe joy is how truly resilient it is. I mean, mine holds up in the face of credit card exhaustion, husband-ly disapproval, and even the dreaded lack-of-a-matching-outfit (that’s easily remedied, anyway!)

    I applaud your patience in waiting for the truly great after-Christmas sales to kick in. Be sure to remind your husband how much money you actually saved him with your keen shopping prowess!

  82. Very cute shoes. And plates.

    LOVE those after Christmas Sales. I was at one just this morning at Michaels craft store. You can imagine my delight when, beneath the gaudy leftover Christmas picks and broken bulbs,I happened upon a pile of matching 8 packs of Christmas Card frames in a trendy print…for fifty cents each. Including envelopes! I was able to get my entire next year’s mailing list worth of cards (plus a few extras) for $5! Oh, joy. Oh rapture!

    And to make my happiness complete, I also found a ginormous roll of silver lame’ wire-edged ribbon for 75% off and Martha Stewart stuff was on sale! I got a couple of her fab paper punches for a song. And did I mention I had a gift card. I walked out with a BAG full of great stuff for only $7 out of my own pocket. Woo-hoo!

    So yay for bargains, BooMama!

  83. I stayed away from all after Christmas markdowns (except for the Pier One that I accidentally stepped into–complete mistake, really!)

    Anyhoo, love the plate. Love the shoes. Love the post.

  84. And THIS is why I love me some blog friends — anyone who brings to mind some “Love Will Keep Us Together” Captain and Tenille memories — well, that’s just the best — THE BEST!!

    Love the shoes!

    Blessings,
    Dori

  85. Those are darling plates; I would have snapped them up in an instant; unfortunately I don’t think those are around at my Target anymore. :-( And the shoes – I do hope you go back and get ’em – you know how shoes are at Target – you snooze, you lose. Good luck. Thanks for sharing. Hope Daddy gets well soon.

    Beth (mommy to a busy 4-yr old)

  86. You’re great.

    That’s all.

    Just… you’re great.

  87. Those shoes are the cutest!!!!

  88. I love the plates…I am going to Target tomorrow. Giving cookies to people on the plates is a great idea!