Yesterday I told Big Mama that if she had any plans to go in Target or Old Navy she’d better not step foot in either store until she’d put on the full armor of God, including the oft-neglected Pocket Shield of Thriftiness.
But because we are enablers in that we enjoy, well, enabling each other to find the absolute cutest clothes possible, she then asked me to tell her all about every single thing I saw and please, oh please do not leave out a single detail.
And if you are sitting at your computer feeling somewhat skeptical as to whether or not Big Mama and I actually talk about clothes as much as our blogs would seem to indicate, all I can say to you is OH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
Just ask Shannon, who, God love her, was subjected to the misfortune of walking through store after unending store with us for an entire Saturday. Big Mama and I not only like to shop – we like to shop and then say things like, “Well, if I had this coat, it would absolutely be my signature piece,” and “These hoop earrings are perfect for when you need to give an outfit a little ‘pop’ but don’t want to drag it down with a necklace” and “You have to buy this, there’s no way I won’t let you buy this, IT IS AN INVESTMENT.”
Because clothes totally earn interest for you, internets. Just ask your financial planner.
However, since Big Mama and I are in a season of life where we’re not exactly earning big wads of cash money, most of our oooohing and ahhhhing and hypothetical accessorizing must be confined to window shopping. As opposed to actual, you know, shopping shopping. Where you buy things.
But make no mistake: we long to shop. And for now we rest in the peace of knowing that we are being refined during this particularly difficult scant-shopping season, and because we are more than overcomers, one day we will shop again, hallelujah.
And in the event of an unexpected financial windfall, there may even come a day when we are able to shop in stores where the clothes aren’t just a hop, skip and a jump away from a produce section.
That would be quite fancy, don’t you think?
Anyway, Big Mama and I actually have three (THREE! 3! TRES!) blog-related trips planned for this summer, and we’ve spent an inordinate amount of time discussing what we’ll wear on those trips because, as Martha would say, we don’t want to be too dressy, but we don’t want to be too casual, either, I mean sometimes you can just get away with wearing jeans and a blouse, jeans and a blouse!, but we really can’t do that because we need to be more dressy casual, dressy casual!, you know, like with some cute slacks and a shirt that is tailored but not too fitted, of course, because you don’t want to be immodest and certainly you want to be comfortable, you just have to be comfortable!, but then if it’s just a cotton shirt it could get wrinkled!, it could wrinkle!, and DO YOU SEE HOW HARD THIS IS? DO YOU SEE?
Well, I’ve run across a few spring clothing items that I think are absolutely adorable, and I thought I would share them with you because I can’t really shop for anything other than air right now (please do not get me started about how my computer won’t hold a charge anymore and I am going to Africa for blogging purposes and call me crazy, but a dependable computer might come in just a little bit handy, and I can’t talk about it anymore or my breathing will become somewhat shallow and erratic).
So let’s distract ourselves with clothes!
Like this.
And these, ohmyword THESE, for they take me right back to 1981 and a dog-eared copy of The Preppy Handbook.
Because I knew all about preppy when I was, you know, eleven.
And do you have any idea how well this would cover a post-partum tummy? Even if the post-partum was almost five years ago and please don’t judge me because I HAVE AN ADDICTION TO FRIED THINGS?
For the record, it would cover the five year-old post-partum tummy absolutely beautifully.
As would this.
And I would love to wear this shirt untucked with some jeans.
I say that, of course, like I ever tuck in anything. But if I’m being perfectly candid, I should probably tell you that I really don’t think I’ve tucked in anything since 1998, which means I’m coming up on a decade of being tuck-in free.
It is some sweet liberty, my friends.
And in the interest of versatility, I should point out that I love these pants, even if I do have to go up a size in them because the waistband hits across the post-partum belly area, only who do I think I’m even kidding, it’s totally the DEEP FRIED belly area, and strangely enough, I’m pretty much okay with that.
Also: I am now craving fried dill pickles.
Dipped in Ranch dressing.
And for our skinny friends, we have this shirt. SO cute.
But I would never ever wear that much elastic around my upper arms, oh good grief no, and I have two very strong reasons why:
1) That much elastic encasing my arms would render said arms completely numb in a matter of mere minutes and
2) The elastic on the upper arm area would create a sausage-type effect, thereby causing large canines far and wide to mistake my arm for a tasty pork treat. Which could lead to some springtime unpleasantness.
Because while there are some risks that I’m completely willing to take for the sake of fashion, grave injury to an appendage is not one of them.
And I imagine that you would agree.
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You SO crack me up! LOL! The elastic arms had me rolling! Thanks for all the heads up on the cute finds!
“And in the event of an unexpected financial windfall, there may even come a day when we are able to shop in stores where the clothes aren’t just a hop, skip and a jump away from a produce section.”
This was the first of MANY hilarious comments/observations in your post today, and absolutely brilliant. You. Are. Hysterical.
I know you don’t care, and this is completely random, but I am so excited about my latest Old Navy purchases that I just have to share with strangers that just MENTIONED Old Navy! They had a 75% (SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT!) off sale and I totally got over $200 worth of stuff for $56!! We’re talking a skirt for $6.00 and a CASHMERE SWEATER (originally $90) for $21.99! Oh, sweet mercy I love me some Old Navy.
(I think I just worked up a sweat…I need a bath)
You need to come over next time I post a huge Coldwater Creek sale. Girl, I got jeans for $9 a pair and the tags say $99!
I like the pants. I have a similar pair of trouser-type wide leg in denim. Very flattering for those of us who are pear-shaped. :)
I was in Target today and I saw a madras plaid jacket just like the one that I wore back in 1980 with my bermuda shorts, polo shirt (collar turned up) and Sperry Topsiders.
oh friend…you had me at fried pickles. these other internets may talk shopping but a real friend talks fried food.
but, the test is fried pickle slices or spears? i’m a slices girl myself.
there are some mighty fine fried pickle slices at a place in south side–oties? otey’s? not the mt. brook one though. those fried pickles consoled me many a night after a rough breakup.
Oh, I so long to be a little bit fancy… thanks for the fashion finds!
Girl, I bought the super cute anchor shorts with snow on the ground outside. I knew as soon as I laid eyes on them, I had to have them! They will make a nice change from the pink and green I wear everyday spring through summer. Yes, I am in fact preppy to the core.
Can I just remind you again of how very funny you are. You have such a knack.
I think I’m in love with that first Old Navy shirt–but not with the second one. For the truth is that though the second one would do wonders for both the post-partum-belly-ness and the muffin-top effect, it isn’t so good a look when the, ahem, baby feeders are currently in session, thus making any shirt of that style cause for strangers to ask when I’m due. While holding a two-month old… not exactly the look I’m going for.
And is it entirely sad or is it hilarious that the fashion euphamisms I use frequently (as in above paragraph and, yes, even in conversation)have all been coined by One Certain Blogger? Clearly it is a case of either too much dedicated blog reading or an abundance of fashion-related blogging. Or both.
Oh, I love a good bargain and I’ve been finding them at the best resale shops! Cute short plaid Nine West skirt for $5.00 thank you very much!
Thanks for brining on some shopping fever.
Posts like this are why I like you so much! With the talk of fried foods, cute clothes, and post partum tummies, well, let’s just say I can totally relate! And the sausage effect??? So funny!
Well, thank you very much, I think I might have just gone through the last of my Christmas money, now. I did spy those shorts at the Target last week and I was drooling as much as my 5 month old.
Well, in the spirit of helping you overcome your addiction, I will tell you that the brown shirt doesn’t look good on. The neck is too wide, the buttons don’t come up high enough so OH THE BOOBAGE THAT YOU WILL SEE and overall it gives off a dumpy effect.
I mean, assuming you’re me. Which you’re not.
Segue
I did get the black short sleeved shirt with the swingy sleeves, at your recommendation, thank you.
Any chance that one of those there bloggy trips might be a couple hours north of BigMamaville?
Oh I love me some Bermuda shorts!
If you’re into the fried slices, there’s a restaurant called Mudtown? Mudville? somewhere … well, I’m vague on details, but it was good. Hoover, maybe?
Girlfriend! Please! Now you’ve got me thinking about fried pickles and ranch dressing.
Oooohhh I wish I didn’t sell my Fry Daddy because I would so be making me a big batch right now!
Oh Boo Mama, you make me laugh out loud. I’m laughing so hard I’m about to choke on this cardboard weight watcher popcorn…
oh sweet boomama…finally a fashion post. i have missed me some boomama posts. seriously, i have tears from the sausage-effect. tears. of pure and simple joy.
thank you for ending my day on such a light and positive note.
missed some boomama FASHION posts. that’s what i meant to say. oh, how i wish you had a “preview” button.
I am soooooo making a trip to the Old Navy in the very neaar future!!!! I too have a post partum belly … adn I am not sure how that even happened seein’ as how my children are adopted!!! I s’pose I was unintentionally goin for that “just had a baby” look!!!
And don’t even get me started on the arms…
Oh I’m crying!! I’m crying! You make me laugh so much!! From your “ADDICTION TO FRIED THINGS” to your arms looking like a tasty treat for the canines resulting in a springtime unpleasantness — oh, when I grow up I want to be funny like you! :)
I’m with Janet. The sausage-type effect had me in stitches. That whole part was pure genius. You have a gift.
LOL @ The Preppy Handbook!
I about died when I saw these in Kohl’s with my husband yesterday!
I swear I had thrown them to the floor to try them on when I had to slap myself to remind mye of the trauma jellies left on my 10 year old feet.
Oh glory. The Pocket Shield of Thriftiness.
I’m not even going to LOOK at your links because I know I can’t have any of them and it’ll just make me sad. Shopping for air, even just on-line, is too sad a sport for this woman.
But. Ohmygosh. I am so glad that I do not actually have to form words and get them to come out my mouth in order to comment because I am rendered completely speechless by the mere mention of The Preppy Handbook.
I have seriously wondered on several occasions lately whether it might be high time for a re-print and re-release of that fine piece of literary art.
What?!
WELL I *HAVE*!
I must be shopping at the wrong Target cause all I’m seeing is stuff for girls whose mommas are clearly not taking enough interest in what their daughters are wearing. All that to say, that skirt is adorable!! But those shirts on my (4.5 year to 17 months) postpartum 5 foot frame wouldn’t hide a thing. In fact that make me look NOT postpartum! Ugh!
So funny…I rarely laugh out loud FOR REAL but you had me definitely GOL (giggling out loud) quite distinctly with your stream-of-consciousness right through the middle there.
“springtime unpleasantness”
GOL.
My friend, not even the “pocket shield of thriftiness” is strong enough to help me overcome the stumbling block that I call new spring clothes.
It has been far too long since you have provided us with a full-blown Martha story!! Love your blog!
You have such the gift for storytelling! It is a pleasure reading your blog….always a good laugh. Thank you!
That’s the best “fried” belly laugh I had all day…the pocket shield of thriftiness and elastic sausages and numb arms…oh it kills me!
Thank you…I know I burned at least 30 calories laughing!
Holly
The post-pardom belly. Nice. I actually have named mine the “front butt”. I am actually about to blog about “Ways to Hide Your Front Butt” on Friday. It’s a must read.
Ok I am heading to Target and then to get some fried pickles for lunch – hehe
And I have been in Old Navy so much lately I might as well just head back again tomorrow and confirm to the staff that I truly have a shopping issue with their store :)
Kim
I am so gunning for the skinny shirt. As soon as I am…uh…skinny.
Started out classic Boomama, ended up classic Boomama. Great humor! While I can’t totally relate on the shopping addiction (although I do love me some Target-just not for the clothes), I can definitely relate on the love of food. I love how you share your world with all of us…and I’m excited to hear about your 3 summer blog-related trips. Very cool!
Can I just say that I purchased an “inverted pleat skirt”, in pure khaki, for a mission trip (18 months long) in China…and it was PERFECT. It just fit around the narrowest part of my waist, so it was totally slimming…and that inverted pleat? Awesome. Total mobility (there were some sprints home, I can tell you. Curfew is no joke for a missionary!) and vaguely elegant, too.
That’s my fashion plug for today!
seriously, i think i just wet my pants……you are HI-larious!!
Seriously, it hurts to be pretty.
Oh. My. Goodness. Pocket Shield of Thriftiness and sausage arms. You are speakin’ my language!
Pocket Shield of Thriftiness. Girl, I am going to have to send the “too funny to be legal, no parking on the dance floor” police after you!!! You just get better and better Sophie!!!
This is one adoring fan that can’t get enough of your goodness – sausage arms and all!!!
Speaking of goodness….if you get a second, come take a quick (well, 4 1/2 minutes) peek at my latest post…My son is turning 13 here in a few minutes (on the 17th) and I did a video montage with some of the best moments of the last 13 years. I would love it if you would check it out, if you have time :)
Oh.My.Goodness. Just last week I found a copy of the Preppy Handbook in a used bookstore here in France. I bought it. Because who doesn’t want that book for all time? I was always sad that I got rid of my original one from high school, but alas, that situation has been redeemed!
And just so you know, I’m bringing my littles home to Texas in April, and the youngest one said “Mama, when we get of the plane, can we go to Target?” Train up a child in the way she should go….
I don’t know if this is encouraging or empathizing but my post-partum tummy is fifteen years old. (but it doesn’t look a day over four!)
Oh.sweet.mercy….!
Your way with words has me smitten, I tell ya…SMITTEN. Total crush, and it just deepens with reading regularity.
Obviously, I’m not alone. Maybe I need to “walk away from the light” before I get sucked in even further (farther? further?? FARTHER???).
(Dear Lord, please don’t let me become one of those sychophantin’, blog-worshipping stalkerazzis. Just pleaseohplease help me to avoid that…it’s not too late is it??)
:)
Loved the fashion show!! Cute clothes. It pains me that I live 10 minutes from Target, Steinmart, Old Navy, Belk, etc… when God moved us and put me in the middle of shopping heaven I was hoping He would increase my clothes budget!! Not! I was in Target the other day and I was looking at all the new dishes they have for Valentines Day and Easter and I found the cutest plates and said to my friend, BooMama would love this. :o) I don’t pass by a Target that I don’t think of you.
I love all the clothes that you picked! I love that you and Big Mama talked about almost the same shirt today.
I am newly pregnant, so I am living vicariously through all your selections. But, now, I will keep in mind the postpartum hints. Thankee kindly!
Okay. Need to go to Old Navy pronto!
“The elastic on the upper arm area would create a sausage-type effect, thereby causing large canines far and wide to mistake my arm for a tasty pork treat. Which could lead to some springtime unpleasantness”
That is pretty much the funniest thing I’ve ever read. ever. :)
You are my new best friend because:
A.)You put postpartum belly covering shirts in this post at at 6 1/2 months pregnant those will be a summer NECESSITY!
B.)You mentioned the most delightful thing that I like to call the FRIED PICKLE!
Have a great day :)
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