Friends Are Friends Forever When Madras Bermuda Shorts Are All The Fashion Rage

Yesterday I told Big Mama that if she had any plans to go in Target or Old Navy she’d better not step foot in either store until she’d put on the full armor of God, including the oft-neglected Pocket Shield of Thriftiness.

But because we are enablers in that we enjoy, well, enabling each other to find the absolute cutest clothes possible, she then asked me to tell her all about every single thing I saw and please, oh please do not leave out a single detail.

And if you are sitting at your computer feeling somewhat skeptical as to whether or not Big Mama and I actually talk about clothes as much as our blogs would seem to indicate, all I can say to you is OH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

Just ask Shannon, who, God love her, was subjected to the misfortune of walking through store after unending store with us for an entire Saturday. Big Mama and I not only like to shop – we like to shop and then say things like, “Well, if I had this coat, it would absolutely be my signature piece,” and “These hoop earrings are perfect for when you need to give an outfit a little ‘pop’ but don’t want to drag it down with a necklace” and “You have to buy this, there’s no way I won’t let you buy this, IT IS AN INVESTMENT.”

Because clothes totally earn interest for you, internets. Just ask your financial planner.

However, since Big Mama and I are in a season of life where we’re not exactly earning big wads of cash money, most of our oooohing and ahhhhing and hypothetical accessorizing must be confined to window shopping. As opposed to actual, you know, shopping shopping. Where you buy things.

But make no mistake: we long to shop. And for now we rest in the peace of knowing that we are being refined during this particularly difficult scant-shopping season, and because we are more than overcomers, one day we will shop again, hallelujah.

And in the event of an unexpected financial windfall, there may even come a day when we are able to shop in stores where the clothes aren’t just a hop, skip and a jump away from a produce section.

That would be quite fancy, don’t you think?

Anyway, Big Mama and I actually have three (THREE! 3! TRES!) blog-related trips planned for this summer, and we’ve spent an inordinate amount of time discussing what we’ll wear on those trips because, as Martha would say, we don’t want to be too dressy, but we don’t want to be too casual, either, I mean sometimes you can just get away with wearing jeans and a blouse, jeans and a blouse!, but we really can’t do that because we need to be more dressy casual, dressy casual!, you know, like with some cute slacks and a shirt that is tailored but not too fitted, of course, because you don’t want to be immodest and certainly you want to be comfortable, you just have to be comfortable!, but then if it’s just a cotton shirt it could get wrinkled!, it could wrinkle!, and DO YOU SEE HOW HARD THIS IS? DO YOU SEE?

Well, I’ve run across a few spring clothing items that I think are absolutely adorable, and I thought I would share them with you because I can’t really shop for anything other than air right now (please do not get me started about how my computer won’t hold a charge anymore and I am going to Africa for blogging purposes and call me crazy, but a dependable computer might come in just a little bit handy, and I can’t talk about it anymore or my breathing will become somewhat shallow and erratic).

So let’s distract ourselves with clothes!

Like this.

And these, ohmyword THESE, for they take me right back to 1981 and a dog-eared copy of The Preppy Handbook.

Because I knew all about preppy when I was, you know, eleven.

And do you have any idea how well this would cover a post-partum tummy? Even if the post-partum was almost five years ago and please don’t judge me because I HAVE AN ADDICTION TO FRIED THINGS?

For the record, it would cover the five year-old post-partum tummy absolutely beautifully.

As would this.

And I would love to wear this shirt untucked with some jeans.

I say that, of course, like I ever tuck in anything. But if I’m being perfectly candid, I should probably tell you that I really don’t think I’ve tucked in anything since 1998, which means I’m coming up on a decade of being tuck-in free.

It is some sweet liberty, my friends.

And in the interest of versatility, I should point out that I love these pants, even if I do have to go up a size in them because the waistband hits across the post-partum belly area, only who do I think I’m even kidding, it’s totally the DEEP FRIED belly area, and strangely enough, I’m pretty much okay with that.

Also: I am now craving fried dill pickles.

Dipped in Ranch dressing.

And for our skinny friends, we have this shirt. SO cute.

But I would never ever wear that much elastic around my upper arms, oh good grief no, and I have two very strong reasons why:

1) That much elastic encasing my arms would render said arms completely numb in a matter of mere minutes and

2) The elastic on the upper arm area would create a sausage-type effect, thereby causing large canines far and wide to mistake my arm for a tasty pork treat. Which could lead to some springtime unpleasantness.

Because while there are some risks that I’m completely willing to take for the sake of fashion, grave injury to an appendage is not one of them.

And I imagine that you would agree.