If a podcast hosting company has a button on their website that says “upload file,” it would be terribly helpful if said button actually worked.
Because while it’s been a big, kick-in-the-pants carnival to click that little button approximately sixteen times without ANY UPLOADING HAPPENING WHATSOEVER, EVEN AFTER SOME LENGTHY WAITING, I’m afraid that I’m developing some trust issues with the button. And I fear my resentment is becoming somewhat unhealthy.
Also.
Last night the husband and I helped with something at our church, and our biggest responsibility was to pick up and set up all the food.
At one point there were six large trays of fried chicken tenders in our possession. Enough chicken tenders for approximately 200 people.
And seeing those trays stacked one on top of the other before we put the food on the tables? It was a veritable fountain of fried chicken, a fountain pouring forth with some of the finest breaded-then-submerged-in-hot-oil poultry that these eyes have ever seen.
I was moved almost to the point of tears.
And I would say that it was “a tender time,” only I think that’s a little too pun-tastic even for me.
Finally.
If your four year-old ever makes the proclamation that he would like to go to “big church” on a Sunday morning, I would just like to encourage you to make sure that you have a lot of tissues with you.
Just in case the four year-old lets loose with a monster sneeze that results in you, the mother, gently cupping strange nasal substances in the palm of your hand, thereby causing the single, oh-so-fashionable 20-somethings sitting behind you to shudder and gasp audibly.
And leaving you at the mercy of the kind lady two seats down who quickly passes you some napkins from the Burger King.
Humility. It is the ongoing order of the parenting day.
Georgia Mom says:
Fried chicken and snot. I’m always amazed at your ablity to weave so many interesting topices into once nice little post.
How was the snow? Did you guys get out and play in it? We got about 2 inches over here in Georgia. It’s been so cold, we still have snow on the ground.
Blessings,
Georgia Mom
January 21st, 2008 at 8:58 am
Sara says:
Oh my goodness, I’m laughing out loud crazily at the snot in the hand thing!!! You are such a great momma!!!!
January 21st, 2008 at 9:12 am
Melanie says:
Oh, BooMama. I will never look at a Whopper the same way again.
January 21st, 2008 at 9:13 am
karen says:
What you really needed for your fried chicken was a gravy fountain. Now that would have been a sight to see!
January 21st, 2008 at 9:28 am
Stephanie says:
OH MY WORD - this post was a 2-snorter! Thanks for sharing =)
January 21st, 2008 at 9:44 am
dcrmom says:
Oh my goodness. Have I ever been there. With the snot, not the chicken. Which is very unfortunate. Because the chicken sounded so much more appetizing than the snot. ;-)
January 21st, 2008 at 9:54 am
JP's MOM says:
Oh the humility, it is so abundant when preschoolers are in the picture!
Oh and a gravy fountain! Karen might be on to something. I can just see the stacks of fried chicken, biscuits, fried steak, and potatoes. Mmmmm…now that is some goodness.
January 21st, 2008 at 9:55 am
Sister Honey Bunch says:
First, it is very very unfair of you to paint the fried chicken fountain picture when I am trying to make myself looking smokin’ hot and lose some weight. Now I just have cravings to deal with.
Second, snot in the hand during church. Yep. IT’s just gotta happen at least once.
Good luck with that stupid button!
January 21st, 2008 at 10:00 am
chocolatechic says:
Fried chicken. I was wondering what I should fix for supper. Thanks for the peer-pressure!
On to the snot. That is hilarious! Those girls will soon be in the same predicament, and you will be the one passing them a napkin….giggle.
January 21st, 2008 at 10:04 am
shelley says:
I think someone should invent a sort of “tissue box attachment” that we, the mommies of the world, could discreetly wear on our clothes. I cannot count the number of times I have used either my hands, my clothing, or my chidren’s clothing, in place of a much needed tissue! Most of those moments were, of course, in a public place, in front of either elderly ladies who wouldn’t have DREAMED of taking a snotty nosed kid in public…IN THEIR DAY, or said twenty somethings, who wouldn’t DREAM of EVER doing ANYTHING like that! Next time get their names and numbers…Let’s give them a call in 10 years or so. Now that would be a funny podcast!
January 21st, 2008 at 10:04 am
Dnksmommy/ Lorrie says:
No mother is a REAL mother until she has held a childs snot in her hand.
Ewww..
January 21st, 2008 at 10:19 am
Kelly @ Love Well says:
At least it was just a sneeze and not projectile vomiting. I’ve had friends who’ve tried (in vain) to catch their child’s sudden sickness in their cupped hands. (While horrified 20-somethings watching vow never, EVER to have children.)
I don’t think I’m that good of a mother.
January 21st, 2008 at 10:29 am
Karin says:
During a church conference this weekend, while meandering the halls, I ran into my very red faced friend who let me know that in the middle of the sermon, her daughter who was sitting on her lap (SITTING ON HER LAP), farted LOUDLY. Giggles pursued and she got up and left the room! I’ll share your snot story to let her know that she’s not alone in gross child-church related situations!
Thanks for the laughs!
January 21st, 2008 at 10:33 am
Mary Lou says:
Wow, the episode in church has me “seeing” the days when my son was that age and in church with us….now, it’s just an occasional grandchild and so far nothing gross….When my son was about four and we were in a small church at the time and we are front row Baptists thank you kindly…the pastor paused to say something and my son let out a loud sigh….it was funny to everyone else and embrassing to me…..the pastor made a crack about it….the kid didn’t mean to do it…but it was ONE of those moments….better than the snot though.,.. gave me a good laugh, you write it to where the rest of us can actually see it. even the mounds of chicken tenders….thank you for making me laugh.
January 21st, 2008 at 10:39 am
melissa says:
I never have tissues with me and you’d think by now with teeth falling out into donuts and all the snot my three kids produce, I’d carry a full size box. But, no. I’m still using my hand.
January 21st, 2008 at 10:41 am
Laura says:
Obviously the snow didn’t keep you away from church - or fried chicken!
January 21st, 2008 at 10:42 am
Liz says:
The fashionable 20 somethings may think it’s funny but it’s snot.
*snort*
(that was with love and hugs from Chris - he is too funny)
January 21st, 2008 at 10:45 am
Jenny says:
Oh no!! The big sneeze!! I’m thinking that being the mama catching it is better than being the teenage girl sitting in highschool classroom who catches her own snot (and then has to leave the classroom and run in horror to the bathroom). But, yes, somehow catching anyone’s snot is humbling. :D
“a tender time”… :D That has me giggling!
Happy Monday!
January 21st, 2008 at 11:13 am
Dee/reddirtramblings says:
During kid’s mass (church) at our school/church, the teachers all come armed with BOXES of tissues. It is hilarious, and you can be sure that every box gets used. All those kids, all those runny noses.
Loved the comment about the 20s. They’ll have their day (if their lucky.)
Blessings~~Dee
January 21st, 2008 at 11:31 am
Sister says:
You know what kind of face I’m making.
January 21st, 2008 at 11:59 am
Holly Smith says:
Hee hee! ‘Been there, yes I have…and even worse than snot, but that is just not fittin’ to discuss in the context of yummy chicken tenders from DQ! Horrors!
January 21st, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Linda Sue says:
Ahh - so that was YOU here in Texas with that cute little snotty nosed kid?! I am one of those “older” ladies who always has a bunch of kleenex in her purse, as well as coughdrops and often nice hard candies like Werthers. Never having been a mother - I enjoy a bizarre status as some sort of grandmotherly person in our church. How weird is that? The fried chicken thing is like the doughnut thing in our church - high fat and flavor - rough on the arteries of The Body Of Christ!
January 21st, 2008 at 12:33 pm
DANA says:
That always happens at the worst time..and when you don’t have a kleenex handy! Glad there was a friendly soul with a booger blower nearby :)
January 21st, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Maggie says:
oh man…yeah, I hate those Sundays. And…I am the one diggin in the chicken.
January 21st, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Jenni says:
Your final sentence is truly poignant and poignantly true!
January 21st, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Stephanie says:
Humility comes when your four year old son coughs so hard he gags on what he’s coughed up and then pukes it and lunch all over himself, you and your couch. On Christmas Day. Right in front of the twenty-something college people you’ve invited for Christmas dinner. The same people who just keep eating their dinner and don’t even cringe at the sound or sight of the puking child!
It was an experience, let me tell ya!
January 21st, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Joyce says:
I can just see the 20 somethng. Thank you for cotinuing my laughter for this day. When I have an hour I will listen to the pod cast.
Love and Hugs,
Joycd
January 21st, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Nicole @ lifeinprogress says:
Oh, the humility lives at my house too. My 3 year old has not yet learned to make time for the tissue. She just wipes her nose with her hand right on up into her hair. No matter where we are or who she is around. Then maternal pride just seeps from my pores.
January 21st, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Teah says:
Oh good heavens. My baby was an angel in church yesterday…until the Sacrament prayer. Where she started singing. In the middle.
Yeah.
January 21st, 2008 at 3:31 pm
pam says:
That same thing happened to me in Big church with JD Green on Christmas Sunday. Children’s church was on hiatus so we could “worship as a family”.
The streams of “strange nasal substances” continually interrupted my ability to do any family worshipping whatsoever. I’m thrilled to say the virus and the hiatus are over.
January 21st, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Megan(FriedOkra) says:
PLEASE tell Mama those tenders weren’t from Chick-Fil-A™! Cause if they were, even I, lo these hundreds of miles away, will also be moved to tears.
I’m so sorry about what happened in Big Church. Snot funny.
January 21st, 2008 at 6:51 pm
A&EMom says:
At our church, the 4 year olds are SUPPOSED to be in the service until the Children’s Moment. Being in the sanctuary for worship is a wonderful idea unless, of course, you are the person trying to worship and are instead peeling your child’s feet off the (person) seat in front of you and picking stray candy crumbs out of your neighbors coat.
January 21st, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Becky says:
It was a tender moment
LOL!
I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one whose child does such things. Sunday night we were forced to clean sticky, Tootsie Pop handprints off the back of the pew and a couple of hymnals with a baby wipe. For some reason we thought that a sucker would keep him occupied during the entire service in Big Church. I’m pretty sure we’re going to be in the Nursery “Bawl Room” for another 3 or 4 years with this one.
And BK napkins have saved our sorry hides more than a few times.
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:17 am
daring one says:
See? And I thought the tears were to wipe away your tears at the little kid in big church-ish sweetness.
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:46 am