All righty, internets.
Since I have absolutely NOTHING to write about except for the fact that my husband is suffering from a man cold (hello, congested husband-of-mine! Happy Birthday! Alex and I are going to wrap up some decongestants for you right after we finishing making you a cake from cough drops!), I thought I’d elaborate on a topic Big Mama and I discussed in our last podcast and share a little of my search engine term joy with you.
And for those of you who have asked how I can tell what terms people are using to find my blog, it’s all because of the handy little WordPress blog stats plug-in. It tracks all the terms and keeps them in a lovely little list that’s organized by date. The actual search engine isn’t specified - so there’s no way to know if the search came from Google or Yahoo or MSN or wherever - but when you’re dealing with this kind of humor, who cares?
After all, this is some serious interweb treasure.
boomama, all.the. talking
boomama, the talking, talking
boomama, always talking
I think I should probably be offended.
I mean, I know brevity is not my gift, but still.
After all, I am quiet for SEVERAL WHOLE MINUTES a day.
is it okay to use cream cheese from may
I’m going to go out on a limb and say no. Because that would mean your cream cheese is about eight months old.
And really, when you’re dealing with processed dairy items, you can never be too careful.
I are test you for internets. (OH NOSE)
Come again? (OH EYES)
don’t y’all love paula
You know, I do love her. To pieces. I just love her to pieces.
bangs scrunchies tight-roll jeans
No.
Just say no.
listen to Cici Winans
OKAY!
a picture of santa under a tree
Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of Santa under a tree.
However, I do have this.
You’re welcome.
Can Ash Wednesday be shifted?
You know, I think you’ll probably have to take up that particular question with God.
I’m sure He’ll be absolutely delighted to hear from you.
how long is bacon fat good for?
I have no idea, but judging from this question, I think you and I may be related.
I have medium blonde hair. I colored it
ME, TOO!
You’re going to be right at home here.
sneakers you going to feel pain
I’m certain that sneakers across the world just cowered in fear.
And they probably made a phone call to their tough and rugged boot friends.
Consider yourself warned, trash talker.
Consider yourself warned.
rap for my friend Brianna
Well.
Um.
Okay.
If you insist.
This rap is for Brianna, and I’m here to say
That rap is not my thang on the best of days.
Plus Brianna is a stranger and I think you know
That it’s hard to kick it freestyle so I guess I’ll go
And eat some more fried chicken, drink a diet Coke.
‘Cause you know I love some food and that ain’t no joke.
Yo, Brianna. Yo yo, Brianna.
Yo, Brianna. Yo yo, Brianna.
Never change.
Word.
My Twenty Cents Keeps Moving says:
Hysterical! Thanks for the laugh, especially the rap. That was priceless.
Leslie
January 23rd, 2008 at 11:54 am
Minnesotamom says:
Man, it’s everybody’s birthday in January! HB2U, BooMama’s husband!
January 23rd, 2008 at 11:54 am
Bev says:
Okay, so I just thought you should know about this very important event. Dh and I stopped to eat at Popeyes the other night, and I thought of you. It was the same day you posted about the thingy at church with the trays upon trays of chicken tenders. It was like we shared a mutual fried-chicken-bond that bridged the geographical distance between us. I just felt you should know about such a tender moment. (Oh yes, I am that punny.)
~Bev~
January 23rd, 2008 at 11:54 am
Minnesotamom says:
Oh, and I love me some BooMama freestyle rappin’.
January 23rd, 2008 at 11:57 am
Sister Honey Bunch says:
Word to your muthah!
Here are the most recent search terms for us:
bible story farmers preparing for rain
lemon teeth drunk
poopy diaper changing daycare
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Michelle says:
You are hysterical!! Love the rap.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Amanda says:
HAHAHA — loved the rap. Wish I could throw down like that, but I can’t. It’s against my religion. Well, not really, but it should be.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:05 pm
pam says:
Oh . . . oh. my!! This is one of the many reasons I keep comin’ back for more and more of “the talking”! How I love your sweet, now rappin’ self, Sophie.
Now, I’ll go put my hat on backwards, bust a move with the Ab Ripper and eat a BLT, heavy on the B.
Right after I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes, not “NOSE”.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Amy says:
I love it when I can laugh out loud. thx
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry says:
Does the talent never end? I just had no idea…you’re a true Renaissance Woman.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Butterbean says:
Oh.my.goodness. I almost woke my 3-yr-old up from her nap laughing at the rap!
The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:15 pm
SaraG says:
Oh my good Lord in heaven. You kill me!
No, literally, you almost killed me - I half inhaled a piece of chicken while reading the rap. ;)
Thanks for the laughs!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Lori Leigh says:
You’re funny! Thanks for the rap. I’ve had a stressful couple of days and I really needed a laugh. In fact, I am still laughing. Thanks!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Liz says:
Such a gift for Brianna.
Word, yo.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Jai says:
On the floor, I am on the floor. You are soooo crazy!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Amy R. says:
This was the funniest blog post EVER!!!! I have tears running down my face!!!! Yo, Brianna. Yo, yo, Brianna. Word.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Melene says:
You. Are. Priceless.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Darlene says:
The rap was great! You made me laugh today!
Happy Birthday to your hubby!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Kelly says:
This post forced me to delurk. That was the funniest thing I have read in a long time.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Jessica says:
Oh my…I laughed so hard. I LOVE the rap!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Nicole (canadacole) says:
Was having a bummer of a day until I stopped by here. I’ve had a good belly laugh and I’m all set now, thanks!
Wonderful stuff.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Cresanna says:
It takes a lot to make me laugh, but you do it daily. Thanks for making me smile!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Myfriendconnie (Smockity Frocks) says:
Oh my word! That is hilarious!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Michelle says:
You’re a mess, a talented mess, but nonetheless a mess!! Thanks for the laugh!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Sincerely Anna says:
I’m laughing so hard!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Tater and Tot says:
Yo yo, dog.
That rhyme was off the HOOK!
You’ve got mad skillz.
Word to your (Boo)Mama.
Fo Shizzle!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Mary B says:
BOODADDY AND I HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY!!!! It would make my day if you commented on my baby blog. Happy Birthday Boodaddy!
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Fiddledeedee (It Coulda Been Worse) says:
Awesome. And funny. Lately, the majority of searches for my site have included “popping zits.”
Perfect.
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Casey says:
Tater and Tot- “Fo Shizzle”…. I love it!!!!
Stinkin’ hi-larry-ious… the whole dang thing. Thanks for the laugh!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
mombo says:
laffin’ LARGE!
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Stephanie says:
Hysterical!! Love the rap. I always get a kick out of the searches too.
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Jenny says:
Oh, have mercy! I loved your rap! Thanks for making me laugh out loud today. Oh, and Happy Birthday Boodaddy!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Tara says:
Oh my stars. You’re one funny mamma!
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Shalee says:
Girl. Your nothing beats my something anyday…
And I do believe that DYM now has a contenda for her rappin’. I smell a blogging smackdown…
And Happy “Foggy-Headed” Birthday to David. May he get all the clear passages he can stand for his birthday.
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Partyoffive says:
Oh my, did that had me laughing!
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Cindy says:
Bacon fat, cream cheese, rap,all the talking, sneakers…Quite eclectic
I usually get is variations on:
Mary Osmond hairstyle
Marie Osmond bangs
Marie Osmnd hair cut
And sadly, a couple “dungeon girls” searches.
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Cindy says:
Bacon fat, cream cheese, rap,all the talking, sneakers…Quite eclectic
I usually get variations on:
Mary Osmond hairstyle
Marie Osmond bangs
Marie Osmnd hair cut
And sadly, a couple “dungeon girls” searches.
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Cindy says:
I could post my comment a third time but that might seem repetitive.
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Deidre says:
Okay, the rap had me in tears … from laughter! You are crazy!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Jenni says:
I so rarely truly LOL when reading funny stuff, but girl you were making me LOL like I hardly ever LOL.
Funny, funny stuff.
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Not the Queen says:
Nice rap! I think you may have found a new career path!
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
suzanne says:
These other bloggers going to Uganda…..um they just DON”T KNOW what they are up against. Their lives will truly be changed having spent time with you! You are a hoot, girl.
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Becky Jo says:
Holy canoli, made me spit my diet coke!!! And I am not sure that peein’ my pants in front of my potty training child woulda been such a good idea but I laughed so hard I almost did!!!! Woo, thanks Mama, I needed that!
I was actually found through a search for how to cure pampered chef stones … but my blog was about curing cradle cap (with a pampered chef rubber scraper - not my proudest moment but it worked!!!
Go, Boo, Go Go Boo Mama
WORD!
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Linda Sue says:
Oh you wild throwin’ down mama you! The rap is worthy indeed (don’t use the word worthy about a white woman rap and our savior in the same paragraph though because that might be blasphemy). Love it and I am certain Brianna is tickled to the cockles of her lil heart. About the frightened sneakers - I think it must have reached my sneakers ’cause I’m about to climb under a chair to retrieve the one who managed to run away. Evil lurking everywhere nowadays. Go Sophie, Go Sophie - woo hoo woo whoo - and yeah.
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Billie says:
Oh, that was truly a work of art!
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Erica (A Yankee In Jawja) says:
I sucked in a whole wedge of lemon, and it wasn’t one of those small ones neither, when I read your “rap, yo.” I about died!!!
My eyes are still watering and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to have lemon in my water ever again, because as I just said, I. ABOUT. DIED.
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:27 pm
chrissy says:
I am just left with one question: WHY would people search for ’sneakers you are going to feel pain’? Why?
Hilarious, as usual, by the way.
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Diane J. says:
I just almost snorfed coffee out of my nose, Sophie! Your funniest post today so far. ;o)
xoxo
Diane
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Diane J. says:
PS: Happy Vick’s Salve and Hall’s cough drops Day to D. Hope he feels better soon.
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Natalie says:
You are just too funny! The only thing better than reading BooMama’s rap would be hearing it!!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Frazzmom says:
A timely joke from my ten year old son…
“What do rappers eat for breakfast?”
“Cheeriyo-yo-yos!”
Love the rap- I think you may have some untapped talent there BooMama!
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
chocolatechic says:
Word up!
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Makeshift Mama says:
LOL! Thanks for making me laugh! I needed that!
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Laura says:
I’m bustin’ a gut over here, too funny! Would love to know what the plug-in is called.
Laura (orgjunkie)
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
mandy says:
girl…. you got mad rappin’ skilz.
especially for a white girl from the south.
yo.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Ashleigh says:
I think you’ve discovered your hidden talent, dear sweet Southern Sophie.
I also think some of the world’s greatest humor can be found in search words. My most common one is usually something about “a bump on the roof of mouth,” thanks to a silly post I did last summer about a bump the doctor said was harmless on the roof of Troy’s mouth… now I get several of these searches (and even emails about it) every day. Go figure.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
chickadee says:
laughed all the way through and then you killed me with the rap.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Maggie says:
Oh my.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Amanda says:
You and BigMama are cracking me up today! I loved this post so much. I laughed out loud at the sneakers thing and Jackson started laughing too.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Laura says:
Get the hubby a bottle of Mucinex DM. Great for the man cold and better than the cough drops. Also, put some Vicks Vapor Rub on the souls of his feet, put socks on, stops the cough at night. No kidding! Love the rap!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
bee says:
I thought, no she’s not gonna rap. And you did. And I enjoyed it! MC Boomama rocks!
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Rocks In My Dryer says:
I think that may be your funniest post ever. And that’s sayin’ something.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Shannon says:
I am new here, and I wanted to say that I loved it! Too funny! Thanks!
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Donna says:
the rap - too funny
i have gotten a search that contained the word “satan”. well i guess that is what you get when you are married to the pastor
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Katrina says:
You have a gift. Truly. Don’t squander it. The world is too much in need of good rappers.
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:24 pm
KarateMom says:
I second (and third and fourth, etc., etc.) all the kudos for you being hilariously funny and making me laugh. And, for the record, I read the post to my hubby and HE laughed. That ReALLY proves that this was some funny stuff - he’s not a big laugher!
OH, and, hey, will you write a Lisa rap? Brianna’s was SO GOOD!
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:27 pm
shelley says:
The rap, Oh the rap GOT ME! Too Funny!!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Susan says:
And, you do amuse us with your rappin’ self! Loved the laugh!
January 23rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Karen says:
I am most impressed with your spontaneous rap-ability. We could call you “Johnny-rap-on-the-spot.” And the fact that you are a sutherner and can rap on the spot is, well, extraordinary. Thank you for sharing that hidden talent with us!
January 23rd, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Prairie Rose says:
Wow! You should do like Steven Curtis Chapman did and hook up with D.C. Talk to perform your own rap song! That was great! :o) :o) :o)
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:17 pm
kelli in the mirror says:
Your next podcast should include the rap for Brianna, because I really think we need to hear it for the full effect.
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Sister says:
What up, Word?
(that’s my word now, you know that, Word)
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Rhen (yestheyareallmine) says:
Thank you for the best laugh in a while!!
I love looking at the terms people use and find my blog with. Crazy! :)
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:34 pm
jenn says:
remind me not to be eating while reading your blog, although it may be too much info, I thought that id share.. as I read those, i laughed so hard a fry came flying outta my mouth onto the screen, therefor making me get up and clean thus screen, and it was SO worth it!
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Nicki says:
you are so weird - and I LOVE it!
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Ann says:
This is why I show up everyday. You keep me laughing!
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Michele says:
You never cease to amaze me! I have often thought (the whole 2-3 months that I’ve been reading said blog) that you couldn’t possibly get any funnier. Imagine my shock and suprise when I read today’s RAP and realize..oh yes..yes mam.she can only get funnier..each.and.every.DAY!!!!!
LOVE it!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Lysa TerKeurst says:
Yo—yo—yo
you are welcome to pop over to my crib
and rap with my peeps anytime
from one home girl to a’nother~
I laughed- I snorted- and then had to run to the potty!
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Dnksmommy/ Lorrie says:
how cool. I’d love to know how people find me!
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:25 pm
carrie-the gremlin wrangler says:
I think that impromptu rap just about did me in!
And I got a search term today that was: “I’ve been waitin’ all night long just to talk to you”
a little creepy perhaps?
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Johanna says:
Oh the laughter! My sides and my face hurt from the laughing. You can rap anytime on my watch.
Word.
(More hysterical laughter)
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Jenna says:
oh my. you are one funny lady.
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Jill says:
That is one of my favorite things about Wordpress. You might be delighted to know that since my blog is The Diaper Diaries and I post a weekly marital sex challenge, I often find very creepy “sex with a diaper” and “my husband makes me wear diapers” inquiries. Ew.
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Katie says:
I just had to leave a comment on this one, I hope you don’t mind since you have no clue who I am. I first witnessed your hilariousness on your comments to the LPM blog. I clicked on your name and found your blog. I just love it, I haven’t encountered such witt in long time! Keep it up girl!
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Erin says:
Oh my. I’m laughing out loud.
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Kelly in Carrollton, GA says:
LOVED THAT!!!! Oh my goodness, you are so much fun! Thanks for a great spirit-lifter, Boomama. Your talents NEVER cease to amaze!! That rappin’ is genius. Kelly
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous! says:
H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Holly Smith says:
I was “This” close to coming by last night from “can’t stop farting,” while looking for you on “can’t stop eating.” I just thought that’d be a hoot. Ahem. Ok!
Also I was going to tell you that someone came by yesterday looking for “shoddish dancing” to my blog and they stayed for 25 minutes. Hee hee!
Praying for David to feel better real quick and HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Praying for your things and stuff :)
January 23rd, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Sarah says:
Lol too funny!! Especially the rap.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:53 am
Tina Vega says:
And just when I think it can’t get any better…
I had no clue you could busta move.
January 24th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Katrina (Callapidder Days) says:
I have not laughed that hard in a very long time.
The search terms: very funny.
Your responses: hilarious.
January 24th, 2008 at 7:22 am
Laura/DaPFG says:
oh gravy. you are a TRIP!
January 24th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Proverbs31 says:
“I laughed, I cried.. it moved me Bob.”
TO TEARS! HYSTERICAL, GIGGLY TEARS!
January 24th, 2008 at 10:43 am
jmom@lotsofscotts says:
This made me truly LOL…which reading generally does not do. Funny post, Soph!
January 24th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Lori says:
Take heed, ‘cuz she’s a lyrical poet.
Do you beat box too?
January 24th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Lynn says:
Thanks for the link to the “Man Cold”. That was so sad how true it really is. I made hubby watch it last night and he tried REALLY hard not to grin and confirm that Yes, that is He.
January 24th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Sweet Bee says:
Oh Boomama, you are just too funny! you always make me laugh! You must be a rapper at heart to come up with one so spontaneously like that!
January 24th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
room for grace says:
Yo, Boomama - sup!
Loved the rap.
“Can’t stop eating” still wins, but those gave me a giggle too.
January 25th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Melissa May says:
Are you gonna rap for us on one of your podcasts??? Because HYSTERICALARIOUS (I just had to make up that word b/c hysterical wasn’t enough and hilarious wasn’t either) as reading that whole thing was, HEARING you perform it would be even so much better!!!!! : )
January 25th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
groovyoldlady says:
Tears of hilarity running down faces. Laughter. Fried chicken. Yep.
Word!
January 26th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Vicky says:
Oh. my. goodness. I was laughing so hard that TEARS were welling in my eyes. I had trouble reading the rap because it kept going all blurry on me.
I found you linked on Rocks in My Dryer… another blog that always makes me laugh. I’m looking forward to reading both yours and Shannon’s posts from Africa (no pressure or anything) :)
January 28th, 2008 at 10:08 pm