Apparently I leave for Uganda in less than two weeks.
I am feeling a smidge overwhelmed.
And by “smidge,” of course, I mean that I am mere moments away from getting back in the bed, pulling the covers over my head, and staying there until at least Thursday.
I had this coming, you know. I’ve been all calm and rational and level-headed about the trip. I’ve said things like, “Oh, I just know all the details will work out” and “I’m not going to stress about what to pack” and “I’m sure I’ll be able to figure out what adapters and cords and converters and blah blah blah I need – it’ll all be FINE.”
Then, about 3 o’clock this morning, I heard Alex crying in his room, and when I went in there he told me that he had a dream that I left him and he couldn’t find me and “IT MADE ME VERY SAD, MAMA! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?”
And I thought, “Oh, you don’t know the half of it, because in a little over a week I’m going to VOLUNTARILY LEAVE YOU FOR EIGHT DAYS.”
Then I buried my face in his hair and inhaled for a full ten seconds.
So in the interest of releasing the anxiety, casting all my cares upon Jesus as well as the internets, and trying to GRAB HOLD OF THE REINS, ALREADY, I would like to share my concerns / prayer requests / SUDDEN, MIND-NUMBING, CRIPPLING FEARS with you.
They are as follows:
1. Separation Anxiety
HOW CAN I LEAVE MY BABY FOR EIGHT DAYS? I mean, I know I can. But as I just told the husband, I really think it would be better for everyone if I could somehow temporarily shrink the four year-old, put him in my pocket, and hold his sweet little hand the whole way to Africa. And back again.
This makes perfect sense to me.
2. Sleeping (or lack thereof)
I have been concerned for a few weeks about how well I’ll sleep while I’m away. That concern has now elevated to something akin to full-on panic. So I’m definitely calling my doctor this afternoon and getting a prescription for something to help with that.
I’ll leave out the part about how it makes me a little nervous to take something for sleeping because what if I fall so asleep on the plane that no one can rouse me from my coma-like state and I miss a connecting flight and before you know it I’m landing in Hong Kong and it’s just like that episode of Alias where Sidney Bristow wakes up and boom! it’s four years later and my baby is eight years old and CLEARLY THIS WOULD BE QUITE TERRIBLE.
I’m incredibly rational when panicked, as you can tell.
3. Words
Bottom line: I’m scared of writer’s block.
Or “writer’s” block.
Whatever.
I’m scared that the words won’t come. I’m scared that I’ll sit down to write about all the things I’ve seen and heard and felt, and all that will come to mind is, “Hey, does anyone know the score for the State game?”
Because as y’all know, I can write post after post about Walmart, fried chicken, television and basketball. But I struggle when it comes to articulating my feelings about The Big Stuff. And I’m going to be surrounded by The Big Stuff while we’re there.
So.
If any of these things come to mind over the next couple of weeks, I would really appreciate your prayers.
And I’m going to go cook something now.
Because if I can’t get back in the bed and stay there, then I guess I might as well fix something good for supper.
Something like fried catfish covered in fried onion rings topped off with fried dill pickles.
With a hearty dollop of Ranch dressing.
I’m think I’m feeling better already.
{ 96 comments }
Next Comments →
Don’t worry – I’ll keep you posted on the State scores.
The rest?
You’re a mess, Sister. :)
Your sister cracks me up! If I had a sister, I would want one like “Sister”, anyhoo….I will keep your list in my prayers! You will be fine and little man will be better than fine, he will love you that much more when you get home.
Let me be the oh, well, second to say that you are going to be so inspired jUST by the COMPANY you are keeping that you will not get “writer’s” block…..it may be the opposite problem, in that you have so much to say, you’ll have to “write” a whole book. I can imagine being left speechless, but I don’t think or even imagine that you will be so. IF all else fails, you can write the words to a Shaun Groves song, and tell us you actually heard him sing it LIVE right there in the tent, or bus or whatever ya’ll will be in! it’s going to be oh so cool. Ask him to sing about Country crack and you’ll be inspired.
OK, so the other thing you COULD do is write your own interview before you even go, so you’ll be able to just answer pre-meditated questions just in case you get “blocked” in the writers thang.
OH and one more thing, read Isa 41:10 and drink it in. Alex will miss you, and you will miss him, but the reunion will be OH SO SWEET!!! And yes, get something to help you sleep…and yes, the fears they will try to cripple you if you let them….Be bold, be courageous….Joshua 1:8-9! Love ya!!
Prayers already winging their way, BM. Writer’s block??? Not a chance. And 8 days is going to go in a flash. I am quite sure that Shannon will tie you to her wheelie bag and trundle you off the plane if your sleeping tablets work too well!
Relax……. you are going on an ADVENTURE!
PS: Hong Kong is QUITE delightful! Shops are stunning.
You are going to do great. The Lord will help you with these things and it makes me realize that you have some of the same anxieties as me. Sometimes when I read blogs I feel like my ‘sisters’ have it all together and I am struggling, but you are so down to earth and you are going to do a wonderful thing in Africa. Take me with you. love ya
If only I could not relate.
It won’t be that bad once you get going – it’s just the anticipation! You’ll have an amazing time and you won’t have “writer’s” block. And if you do, just start writing about meal time or the first five minutes after you wake up – and the rest will follow. :)
Praying for you. And I can NOT WAIT to hear about your trip (even if it’s just about the first 5 min of your day.)
Gotta love sister. I believe God will speak through you on this trip and you will be blown away and won’t be able to not write. Something along the lines of writey mctapperson.
I have been praying for you and the rest of the crew going.
You’re going to be o.k. You are brave and funny and will have so much stimulation and information that you won’t have writer’s block. You’ll have too much to write. As to the separation anxiety, that will be hard, but you’re doing a good thing for GOD. He loves you and will carry you. Besides, when we do work for God, we suffer. I know this is a Catholic idea (suffering) but I think we’ve got something here. Everytime I work a Cursillo (Walk to Emmaus) I have the hardest time. Satan doesn’t want us to do Jesus’s work. Amen.
It is just SOOO Ironic that my adopted parents are missionaries to Uganda, they will be there at the same time you will, and if I decided to go then instead of june I may have run right smack dad into you! I told them if they saw a group of crazy woman to ask if there is a Boomama in it, lol. They sure would be great guides for you as this is def there territory for sure, my adopted dad goes as well. They are the Roberts IF your paths cross. Iam going in June for 3 weeks.
Girl – I want to be sad for you but the way you write just had me in tears from LAUGHING!!!
I wish Alex could stay with us!! :-(
xo,
J
Hello. Did you see the comment about a book? It’s a AHEM sign. Ahem. Ahem. I’m sorry I’m choking now. Too many ahems will do that to you, you know.
I am praying, have been praying and will be praying. Sweet Sister— we love you.
You are in my prayers!
My husband now refers to anything that I saw from the internet as “Did you hear that from BooMama?”
You could always copy/paste from someone else’s blog…in a pinch….giggle…
Along with your catfish, please have a hearty helping of fried potatoes and onions in bacon grease.
Amen!
You know, when I was In China, blogging about The Big Stuff, I too worried about writer’s block. But then I just took my unique perspective, the one that is a bit off-the-wall, a bit goofy, and tee-hee’d my way to the end of a post until The Big Stuff finally squeaked out at the end (and I was usually a mess of tears, late at night, writing). (www.adoptionshare.com/nathanandlisa See journal on Feb 1-17 2007)
You’ll be encouraged to know that I am delighted to follow YOUR blog (and Shannon’s) the most because it won’t be all hyper-spiritual. No offense, really, I don’t even know the other folks. But sometimes, we just want someone to be real. And to make us laugh. And to tell us about the fried food. IOW, just be yourself.
I am so excited for you!
Have your husband (or you) help your son make a construction paper chain for the days you will be gone. He can tear one off each morning. That way he can watch it shrink as it gets closer to you coming home. Kids that age sometimes struggle to grasp the concept of 8 days.
I so love your blog (to the point of idolizing it when you talk about your addiction to all things fried), but I must admit I am looking forward to reading what you have to write about “the big stuff”. I’m not worried about you getting writer’s block in the least (easy for me to say, huh?).
i can understand your separation anxiety. my dear hubby is going to africa for 14 DAYS!!!! he may be near you in a neigboring country.
First off, get something to help you sleep if you think it will help. Just. don’t share.
That way, someone will be awake to drag your sleeping self through Frankfurt and wherever else.
Or, pin a sign on your shirt that says “I need to get to Flight blah blah blah at blah blah airport. Thank you” in 14 different languages.
Like a walking Small World ride.
Someone will get you there.
As far as writer’s block- well, I have no sage words. Except this:
Listen to your heart, sweet friend. Listen to what the Lord prompts in your heart. You know how to do that. I know that personally.
You. will. be .fine.
I’m praying for you. And Shannon. And every single heart you will touch there. And the ones they will go out and touch.
The ripples will be amazing.
Praying for you and this trip. God seems to use us best when we finally reach the end of ourselves…and totally depend on Him. I feel certain this time is going to be a bigger blessing all ’round.
I loved Alias and will forever mourn the loss.
You will write, rest assured.
I made fried pickles at work last week. They were interesting. Of course they tasted better with ranch dressing.
Have a safe and blessed trip. i will be praying for you!
Definitely praying! It’ll be awesome, I just KNOW it!!!
I will be praying for God’s will to use your heart, hands and words to bless those in Uganda (and those who can’t be in Uganda) during this exciting time!
You are a strong, spiritual and sassy woman who has a great love for Jesus and his works and it’s propelled to the eleventeenth level by your great sense of humor and taste in shoes.
We love you, we’re thinking of you and we’re praying fervently for your needs and desires to do God’s will in Uganda, BooMama.
Love in Christ,
Erica
My stomach is in knots, just thinking about all your worries! I’d worry too! I think leaving Alex will be the hardest, but he’ll be OK, kids are very resiliant. I know YOU know that our Wonderful God is in control. That He can calm your fears and concerns, AND Alex’s. That He will be with you all the way, as He always is. I’m sure this will be a faith building experience for your entire family! I’ll be praying for you! Oh, and it definitely can’t hurt to medicate with some good food!
Power through the anxiety. It sucks, but just power through and get through all the things on your to-do list KNOWING God absolutely will handle the big stuff.
Once you are on that plane and have handled every little thing you can…let the heck go. Your husband and son will have beautiful time to spend together and you will have the opportunity to touch lives.
You were CHOSEN for this. Now knock off the worries ‘cuz we’re all lifting you (and everyone else) up in prayer. Amen? Amen.
I think this is appropriate:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=S_L0AXVU5Ks
I’m sure it will all work out…what with the whole internet praying for you and all.
If I were you I would be more worried about what I was going to eat in Uganda than cords and adaptors.
Can you please share your fried pickle recipe? I have tried a couple of times to make some and they never turn out like I want them to.
Add me to the long list of people who will be praying for you. God works miracles…maybe the good people of Uganda like fried pickles too!
You go and the separation from Alex and your hubby will give you empathy for those who are called away to serve our country in the military or those who leave family who are called to foreign missions. You have a job to do and your job is important to your family and the rest of us who need an eye witness to whom we can relate….BooMama!!
God is going to open your eyes and see a world that you have never seen before and we need a report from you to tell us all about it!
You are in my prayers…..have an awesome time!
I will be praying for you as you strike out on this amazing adventure. You will be amazing! The words will come and God will be closer than a BROTHER!! Thank you for stepping out into the unknown and giving the rest of us a peek as Heaven comes down and kisses Earth.
Praying for you.
I will gladly pray for you. When I traveled overseas when my children were young the separation anxiety went away once the trip got started. I was able to live in the moment. God was good. I’ll pray that for you. We have sponsored a young student in Uganda for three years. My heart will be with you. If you see Gertrude, give her a big ol hug for me!
I can only imagine what you are feeling. I’d feel the same way. However, I’m not concerned one tiny bit about whether or not you’ll be able to write when you get over there! Something tells me that it will not only come to you, but you’ll also manage to tie in Walmart and something fried to the posts! :-)
I don’t think you’re a mess. I think you’re my clone or something. I’d be a wreck. For exactly all the reasons you’re stressing over. But there’s one thing I know for sure – this is such an awesome opoportunity and I have no doubt at all, you’ll come up with the words. Writer’s block. Pffttt. Not gonna happen.
You will be, well, fabulous.
I actually wrote something today that just screams Boomama to me. http://ministrysofabulous.com/2008/01/28/we-came-we-dished-out-cheese-and-we-barely-conquered/
Boomama, I suggest you consider using only something milder for helping with sleep – antihistamines like Benadryl will make you sleepy, but not comatose. And no need for a prescription. Or the sleepy version of dramamine will make you sleepy and also assure you don’t get airsick.
I liked the idea of one of your commenters about the paper chain.
You will do wonderfully!
He’ll provide, Sophie. Everything, including words string together and MAKE SENSE and everything. ;-)
Praying, and adding you to our prayer list at church.
I am alone, by myself in my house. And nobody else is here as well. Hubby is gone to Texas to visit his brother and take in a fancy Superbowl party.
Since I’m batchin’ this week, tonight, as I type, I have homemade jo jo’s frying in a large pot of vege-tAble awl. I’ll dip ‘em in some buttermilk ranch dressing and warsh ‘em down with some ice cold diet Coke. After all, nothing says “Celebrate!” like some tasty fried food!
Carry on, BooMama. As you were. ;-)
Love and hugs,
Diane
Presents! You must bring him back presents!
And I heard that Nicole Mullen’s mom told her she better not ever catch her singing anyway other than FOR JESUS.
Same thing to you, Boo, you go there for Jesus and you write for Jesus.
You are a missionary…like Lottie Moon! Show your little man a star in the sky that you both can look at and know you are together in this great big world…even when you are apart. If you are handy with a sewing machine, make a small pillow from one of his tshirts to sleep on.
You have a blessed time and show us what southern women are made of!
I used to be a very nervous traveler. Couldn’t sleep on planes. The more tired I got, the more anxious I became.
FINALLY I followed the advice of more experienced friends and invested in a nice thick eye mask and earplugs.
It works!!!
If I were you, I would spend more time worrying about that bag you’re supposed to be holding for Shannon to breathe into. Because I remember her post on Disneyworld, and breathing wasn’t all she was doing into that bag.
I went to Kenya when I was 16 (what was my mother thinking in letting me go?!), and I came back changed. You will too. I sponsor a little girl named Leya in Uganda through Compassion and hope to someday visit her. My prayers go with you! I can’t wait to read all about your adventure.
1. Being apart from him will be hard, especially while you are seeing all those sweet ones over there. But, imagine the testimony your boy will have to realize when he is older that his mama loved Jesus so much that she went literally to the ends of the Earth to share it.
2. With Shannon’s nails in your arm, you will not fall asleep on the plane. :>) Give the pills to her. LOL
3. Writer’s block? Girl, your laptop will be worn slap out after the incredible words you will share with us. Wal-mart and fried chicken’s got nothing on The Holy Spirit!
Praying…
Did you happen to notice the verse for the day??? “God did not give us a spirit of fear….but…” I Tim 1:7 I just love that He meets us right where we are and then offers us a word…right where we are. God’s blessings and peace.
I’ll be praying for you, but I know you’ll do just fine! And we all love you so much we wouldn’t even care if you got a case of writer’s block.
Boomama,
Imagine a biscuit all smothered with sawmill gravy. That’s how well you’ve been covered in prayer…. I’ll wait and let the profundity of that comparison sink in.
Now. You can do this! Oh, yes you can! ‘Cause y’all are goin’ with God.
And lastly-
Here’s the verse I cling to far too often.
What time I am afraid, I will trust in You. Psalm 56:3
Rolls easily off the tongue, doesn’t it?
Well BooMama, thank you for inviting us to the privilege of praying for you specifically. It’s what the Body of Christ does best!! I hope you’ll include more prayer requests as you feel the Lord leading you. God will give you what you need for the exact step you are on during this process. Many, many blessings to you and the other blogger missionaries.
OK. I’d like to refute your fears for you.
#1. There cannot be much worse in the world than a four year old on a 22 hour flight, unless it is a shrunken one stuffed in your pocket crying out for more pretzels.
#2. Take the drugs. Shannon can dump you in a wheelchair and drag you through the airports. And if not, maybe you’ll end up with a cool wig, tight abs, and kickin’ black legs in spandex like Miss Bristow.
#3. Your WalMart and fried chicken posts are the best. But your “BIG” posts are incredible as well. I STILL remember To Know this Love that Surpasses Knowledge. I have no doubt God will inspire you.
This is of God. He WILL provide; He WILL protect Howard, He WILL move mightily. He can handle the details. If he can figure out mitochondria and stuff like leaves changing color, He can handle a trip to Africa. He’s good that way. I’ll be praying for you, girl.
You will totally be unable to describe your feelings and the sights, sounds, and smells you encounter. That is part of the fun of it all. It will all seem very overwhelming but you will be inspired to tell all about it. The words will trickle out of your heart and onto the screen and you will feel things you never thought possible……..
I will pray for you
ange
Friend, you are gonna be fine. Alex will be fine. He, and your dear hubby, will love you all the more when you get home. WE will love you all the more when you get home. And until then, you are gonna know some prayer coverage like you have NEVER known it before, sista!!
Your fears will meet their Master, and He will provide for you, and for those you leave at home sooo sweetly. Obedience brings blessing every time. You can bank on it!!
I am so proud of you. So proud to know you, and so proud to share in this journey with you. The words will come. You won’t be able to keep them IN!!!
Loving you, Kelly
Little man will be fine! Especially if you parents don’t make a big blubbery mess out of the leaving (ie: don’t freak the kid out! If you act like it will be fine, he’ll think it’s fine). Send him pictures while you’re there. He can follow your journey too. And it’s only 8 days, he can watch Toy Story 5 times and it will be over.
If I remember right, you can fall asleep 5 minutes into a road trip. You’ll sleep fine! You’ll be so emotionally exhausted and jet-lagged you’ll crash every night. Sleeping too long in the airport could be solved by setting your cell phone alarm or watch timer.
And you at a loss of words would be a first, would it not? You’ll be awesome.
I can’t wait!!!!
Jamie
3 things to answer your list o’ questions.
1. Make a Flat Alex (Stanley) with Alex and take it on your trip. Take pictures of him on your trip and e-mail them to him. Then, y’all can pull out those mad scrapbooking skillz (I know that you love it as much as I do :S) and make the kid a book about Mama’s trip to Uganda with a Flat Alex in tow.
2. One word. Ativan. It will be your friend. You will love it. It is non-addictive (I believe, double check on that one) and you will sleep like a baby. For reasons that I’ll skip listing here (not to bum out the mass public), I took it. I even slept IN THE HOSPITAL while taking it.
3. You are going to do the Lord’s work. He will speak through you. Truly, writer’s block won’t be a problem. It isn’t like you are going to decide which type of fried chicken you want, you are going to see the Lord working in His mysterious ways. I know that you will have far too much to say and that yes, you will be flabberghasted (sp?!) by the sheer amount of stuff that you want to write about, but don’t want to keep us reading for three hours a night.
Extra credit points here . . .
4. Just in case, Pepto or Zantac will be a friend in need. Ooo, a little Immodium for good measure probably wouldn’t hurt.
We all love you Boo. You’ll do great, girl!
Prayer is on the way. And just think what strange and wonderful things could be dipped and fried in Uganda – you could have so many words that you’ll end up with Bonus Posts about the usual non-Big Stuff AS WELL as The Big Stuff.
Sophie,
You are in the place God wants you in. He will give you the words to write. I think God will pour His creativity upon you and there will be no writer’s block! I will add you to my prayers!
On a lighter note, can I come over for dinner? Deep fried pickles, ranch, I think we are related. :o)
Next Comments →
Comments on this entry are closed.