Oh, What Else Am I Going To “Write” About?

A few recent search engine terms that have brought people to the blawg:

michael johns ascot – Oh, you have come to the right place, merry Googler.

Let us gaze upon the ascot and marvel at Michael Johns’ fashion derring-do.

Not only was it an ambitious accessory choice, it was also a successful one.

BRAVO.

uncle ben’s casserole and shrimp – I had actually forgotten about this recipe until tonight.

And now I feel like the person who found my blog using that particular phrase has done me a huge service because he or she has pretty much planned my Sunday lunch.

You know, the internet is genius.

god never closes a door without opening – A WINDOW! THE ANSWER IS “A WINDOW!”

I do believe I’ve qualified for the bonus round.

Perhaps even the Showcase Showdown.

paula deens wedding ring – IS KICKIN’.

But if I had Paula’s wedding ring, I do not think that that I would knead dough and / or handle raw meat while wearing it.

I’m not judging, only stating what I feel would be my personal choice.

BECAUSE THAT RING IS KICKIN’.

how is steinmarts?Martha? Martha? Is that you? Have you finally found the internet? WELCOME TO THE BLOG!

And Steinmarts is fine, by the way. But it misses you terribly.

help me get this hunk of wax out my ear – You know, I’d love to. Really. It would bless my soul to be able to help you, because as someone who has abnormally small ear canals, I have quite literally felt your particular brand of clogged ear pain.

What? You can’t hear me? I SAID THAT I HAVE FELT YOUR PAIN.

I SAID! THAT I! HAVE FELT! YOUR PAIN!

The wax is somewhat pesky, isn’t it?

boomama, take one rotisserie chicken – Okay! I have my rotisserie chicken!

So.

Um.

What am I supposed to do now?

I will sit here and await further instructions.

chicken have carbs? – No! Chicken have no carbs! Eat chicken all day, still eat no carbs! Boil chicken. Bake chicken. Grill chicken. NO CARBS!

But no fry chicken. Batter have carbs. Batter GOOD. Add many carbs to chicken. Fried chicken have MANY TASTY CARBS.

Mmmmmm.

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Comments

  1. and Michael Johns AND HIS ASCOT are safe!!! (Obviously, I’m doing two things at once)… :)

  2. Okay Trivia time Dolly Parton fan…

    What movie was Dolly quoted with a very profound life statement?

    And yes, I am doing the happy dance that ascot Australia boy is safe. Wahoooooo!

  3. Heeheehee….This whole post made me giggle, as I sit here wondering how Brooke got in the bottom three.

    No fry chicken.

    J

  4. Too funny!
    Thanks for making me laugh outloud. My husband is wondering if I have, finally, completely lost my mind.

  5. My husband is wondering why I am cracking up at the end of “Criminal Minds”. LOL

  6. oh my gosh Boo Mama! you make me laugh out loud.

    i’m with ya on paula’s ring…that thing is HUGE!

  7. Oh I’m rolling with the laughing. That was SO funny.
    Mainly the 2 about chicken. Because chicken is just funny like that.

  8. I am laughing!! Just stumbled on your blog and you pulled me in hook, line and sinker! I always look at the Google searches for our blog and sometimes they are hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

  9. So you got me all curious with the Paula Deen wedding ring talk, so I googled it myself to see it. Your blog is the 2nd result, and not this post either, but one from a couple of years ago.

    So, now you have yet another person reach your blog with that search. This time it was me, though. Sorry about that!

  10. Oh, and I never did find a picture. Could you post one? :)

  11. I did the same as Emily! Wondered what the ring actually looked like, googled it, found a promising link, and ended up back at BooMama!

    Then I felt foolish for not checking the address before I clicked.

  12. The ascot was as kickin’ as Paula’s ring.

  13. Ha ha ha ha .. you right, that chicken it have no carbs … thanks for the nighttime laugh.

  14. Google searches provide endless entertainment around here. I wrote a post last summer about Troy having a bump on the roof of his mouth called a “torus” and I get at least five searches a day regarding a bump on the roof of the mouth. Sorry, folks, this ain’t no medical journal! Just a crazy bloggin’ mama!

  15. Oh my word! This is HILARIOUS!!!
    Now take your rotisserie chicken — with no tasty carbs — and enjoy your evening!

  16. It is a man-scarf, people and that rhymes with barf, which is ironic and appropriate all rolled into one.
    Please make it go away so I can enjoy his singing again.

  17. Oh, earwax. Thanks for the snort.

  18. Sophie, I’m sitting here guffawing! I’ve always wondered what a real live guffaw sounded like after reading about them all my life. Now I know, and it’s thanks to you.

  19. ROFL!! chicken have carbs? – No! Chicken have no carbs! Eat chicken all day, still eat no carbs! Boil chicken. Bake chicken. Grill chicken. NO CARBS!

    But no fry chicken. Batter have carbs. Batter GOOD. Add many carbs to chicken. Fried chicken have MANY TASTY CARBS.

    M R Ducks.

    M R Not!

    You’re a hoot, BooMama!

  20. Stop it! I wanted a few more minutes before the kids wake up and my laughing is going to wake them up!

  21. You crack me up! I was in a blah mood this morning until I read your post. Now I have a big ole dopey grin on my face!

    Thanks, BooMama!

  22. Scottie says:

    Girl, you’re too funny!!! This just made my otherwise blah morning, a bit brighter.

  23. I love these posts because not only are the search terms funny and full of randomness but you make them all the more funnier :)

  24. I woke up before my kids this morning and clicked over to your blog. Now my kids are up because you made me laugh out loud. Thanks!
    And let me know if you ever find out what you’re supposed to do with that chicken. :)

  25. Oh lordy, the google search terms are amusing. Of course anyone looking for anything antique comes to me – antique sparkly pixie was a fave, because that is SO me, sparkly AND pixie.

    But last week there was this: potty training goat.

    Can’t help with that. Didn’t do so well with potty training boy.

  26. You are so funny!

    Here is one on ours that made us laugh for days:

    “BIG HAIRY SISTER”

    Why???

  27. Ummmmm…….I missed Michael Johns’ performance the other night and just watched it on your blog….

    I NEED A COLD SHOWER.

    That song was HOT….it was AWESOME.

    Whew…..I need a moment
    Kelly S.

  28. I’m rolling.

  29. Mmm fried chicken good.

  30. Paula Deen’s wedding ring is kickin. All of her jewelry is kickin. I used to work with this delightful woman who owned a special events facility. She had a 8 karat ring (yes EIGHT) and she would hand mix crab cakes with it on and never even think about it. It horrified me.

  31. I kid you not that I was about to write about this very thing this week as well (search engine terms, not shrimp casserole). It’s been a while since the last time I did.
    I’ll wait a bit now, because I don’t want to just copy BooMama. (Even though you ARE a cool role model for 37-year-old bald ministers everywhere.)

  32. “how is steinmarts? – Martha? Martha? Is that you? Have you finally found the internet? WELCOME TO THE BLOG!”

    That was my favorite. But really, the whole post had me rolling!

  33. I

  34. (wipes tears from eyes)

    i

  35. I heart you :)

  36. You are totally cracking me up here!! As usual!!!!!!!!!!

  37. Okay, so you just totally made my morning! Thanks for giving me a good laugh!

  38. This got me so tickled!

  39. Thanks for the giggle. Especially about the fried chicken. :)

  40. Oh, BooMama, you make me laugh!!

  41. You know what I got last week for a search? Some poor fellow in New York googled “How to deal with my wife who is a bully.” Poor thing! He ended up at a post of the Hugga Wugga monsters on youtube singing, “You are my Sunshine”–I called it How to Deal with a Bully. ‘Hope it helped him with his wife!

    The most popular search that ends up at my site is “Jesus heals the paralytic.”

  42. Sophie, I need some great googlers like you! My most popular hit is “I thank God every time I remember you”. Well. at least someone is remembering me… There are blessings in everything, I guess.

  43. Every now and then you’ll see Paula slip her rings off … on camera … and set them on the counter until she can wash her hands. Those are the episodes she did right when she got engaged then married.

    Later, she had an episode where she explained why she wears her rings while she cooks. She said something about how her husband asked her one time why she takes her rings off, and then she said something like, “girls, I worked HARD for these rings” then laughed her Paula laugh and sparkled those beautiful blue eyes.

    So I guess she doesn’t take them off any more for her husband’s sake??? I can’t remember clearly. I’m not certain, but I may have been slightly distracted by the food she was mushing with her hands.

  44. You are funny.

    I SAID!! YOU! ARE FUNNY!!

  45. I just wrote a blog about my earwax. Sad. There is just too much of it. :)

  46. Tiffany says:

    I have to say I LOVE reading your blogs they make me laugh! I joke to my cousin Ashleigh I wish I could be creative like some of you when it comes to blogging!!

  47. There is a reason you have such a following. That was hilarious!

    Martha? Martha? – Now THAT was some funny.

  48. I would not knead dough with that ring either.

    For the love. But I do love that Paula. Carby batter and all.

  49. LOVED your comment on Travis’s blog! Agree completely about Paula Deen and her big kick’n ring! Now… where are those candles!?!?

  50. So, I am a HUGE HUGE Paula Deen fan. As I was watching an episode of Paula’s Home Cooking, she commented on why she wears her wedding ring. She said she told her husdband that he would rather have it dirty on her hand than clean in the bottom of the sink pipe. :)

  51. ok- that last part was funny- you make me laugh just when i need it….

  52. I am laughing with tears running down my face!

  53. I read your blog regularly but don’t post (maybe once?), hello nice to meet you, but I just had to comment on this one because I am still laughing. You just kill me.

    And yes, I am from the south so I can say that.

    I love me some Michael and his ascot, but I am slightlytoomuchly obsessed with Jason Castro. And I won’t go into the fact that I’m old enough to be his momma because I hear he just turned 21 so that makes it okay.

  54. Well I’m just glad that I swallowed my coffee before I read your post. You are too funny! I’ll never look at chicken the same way again!

  55. I read the back link to the post on Martha and I think they are my family in Miss. – They live to have an illness or something wrong with someone to discuss and shop at the ‘walmarts’ and k-marts,’…Too funny!!!

  56. You crack me up BooMama.

    I am going to say something and it may get me kicked off your blog but I really don’t get the whole Michael Johns thing. The guy bugs me. I think he must remind me of an old boy friend because all my friends love him, but me, not so much.

    I’m taking my 11 year old daughter to Idol Gives Back on Sunday night (Shh, its a surprise) so after I see him in person maybe I will change my mind.

    Please don’t hate me.

    julie

    p.s. I saw Paula Dean at a book signing and you are correct, her ring is awesome!

  57. Thanks for the earwax reminder.

    It made me throw up a little in my mouth all over again.

  58. Dear BooMama (I’m always tempted to write Dear BM, but that just doesn’t seem appropriate), How do you find out what people have googled to find your blog? That sounds terribly fascinating. Love the blog – thanks for writing!

  59. theroost says:

    No chicken No batter NO Good! Funny post!

  60. I love it when you share this with us.

    CRACKS. ME. UP. :)

  61. I admit that I searched on “Michael Johns ascot” after reading your post. I had to make sure it was, indeed, an ascot. I’m guessing that many came your way through the back door, too. Because it wasn’t an ascot. But he’s still fine as heck.

  62. Damn! Now I’m hungry for fried chicken. See how you make me swear?

  63. Oh my word, you are hilarious! The searches are funny, but your commentary has me rolling!

  64. This is probably a dumb question, but how in the world do you check your google searches? Because that is just plain cool! Oh and I love your blog… it is like being home with my momma and her friends, and of course my southern accent kicks in when I read everything in my head and that makes me smile.

  65. O.k., I read the entry on your ears. FUNNY! :)