Yesterday the husband and I went to Madison, Mississippi for a few hours so that we could go to a party for our friends Todd and Marti. We got there in time to help with just a teensy bit of party set-up before the actual shin-dig started.
(By the way, have you ever watched about ten Southern women set up for a party?)
(No? Well, it is a SIGHT TO BEHOLD.)
(It is also a veritable festival of capri pants, but that is another story for another time.)
D and I had a really wonderful afternoon – lots of good conversation and laughs and whathaveyou – despite the fact that there were a couple of I-may-be-calling-you-”honey”-but-make-no-mistake-I-would-not-renew-our-wedding-vows-right-now-if-you-paid-me-cash-money moments in the car because of my tendency to think that I know a shortcut to pretty much everywhere.
Unfortunately, my directional hubris caused us to drive aimlessly around your various and sundry suburban neighborhoods not once but twice, and we also ended up heading toward Nashville on the Natchez Trace when really all we were trying to do was get to a Barnes & Noble on the other side of the interstate.
(NOTE TO THE INTERNET: ULTIMATELY WE MADE IT TO BARNES & NOBLE, SO CLEARLY I WAS ABLE TO GET US TO OUR DESTINATION, AND IN THE END THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS, THANK YOU.)
D suggested a little bit ago that maybe my problem with directions is that I think I know where I’m going even when I don’t. However, I’m not so sure that it’s an actual “problem” because, HELLO, I’m relational, and taking the occasional road less traveled enables me to become more familiar with my surroundings as well as the people who live in whatever area we’re visiting.
So there’s purpose to my mapless wanderings, you see.
Oh, I do appreciate a good scenic route.
The only exception to this rule is when I can’t seem to find my way to the nearest Popeye’s, in which case I’ll immediately call a friend or family member and ask them to look up the absolute shortest route on Google maps, then plead with them to not hang up the phone until I’ve made it to the drive-thru because I CANNOT RISK A MISSED TURN WHEN FRIED CHICKEN IS AT STAKE.
I’m sure you understand.
So.
Who’s the road trip navigator in your family?
And.
How does he or she pull off this role without making everyone else in the car CRAZY NERVOUS INSANE?
I’m just, you know, wondering.
In the interest of scholarly research and all.
{ 84 comments }
← Previous Comments
I had to look up “hubris”. Don’t judge me.
I don’t even let my husband drive any more. Who were we trying to kid before when he pretended to be in charge. We both got so sick of me giving orders I just take charge. BUT when we’re lost I make him go in and ask for directions. (That’s me sliding down a little pink in the cheek…am i really that bad?)
My approach to directions is the same as George Constanza’s approach to life in a memorable episode of Seinfeld. That is, whatever my instinct tells me, I do the EXACT OPPOSITE. This works for me. I also have a GPS, but sometimes those buggers don’t get it right either! This is the first (and certainly not the last) time I have happened upon the hilarity that is the BooMama Blog. And while I’m not a “real southerner” cause I live in Texas, I was born in Virginia and appreciate all things southern, especially the ability to laugh at ourselves and on RARE occasions, laugh at others (tongue currently in cheek). Thanks for the belly laughs. It’s the most exercise I’ve gotten all day!
Gee KatDish – you didn’t have to make it clear we Texans aren’t real southerners – we are chameleon southerners – we can be western or southern – depending on the food craving! My DH is the route magistrate in our vehicles – I occasionally have a map on my lap and instructions but often he says “that’s not right” and does what he was going to do anyway. It’s all good – we get where we need to get with the Lord’s protection and timing.
My husband is the smartest, most creative guy I know. He has one weakness, though. He has the worst sense of direction imaginable. It is such a relief to me, the exceptionally flawed one in the marriage, to have this one area of “expertise.”
I think it just demonstrates God’s mercy.
I can read a map, but I turn it (you know whenever I turn, so I know which way to turn when the next one comes) which drives the husband crazy. I also drive by landmarks–turn right at the Wal-Mart or left at the CiCi’s Pizza.
My husband is a first responder, so he knows the shortcut to anywhere. I often say, please don’t put me out of the car, I have no idea where we are. Thankfully, he never has–probably wanted to though!
Blessings,
Jane
BTW-Yes, us Southern chicks do know how “to put on the dog” for a party!
I am directionally dyslexic: if I think I need to go right, then I’m quite sure my destination is to the left, and vice versa. (Yes, it’s as confusing as it sounds.) My hubby has an amazing sense of direction, plus 20/15 vision to read road signs from a half-mile away. He will also bring an atlas and whatever smaller maps are necessary for any trip. I don’t think he was ever a boy scout, but he is Mr. Prepared.
And incidentally, Popeye’s isn’t just about the chicken; it’s about the red beans and rice too. Mmmmm.
I am the navigator.
My husband and family conceed it is best…almost to the point of driving me crazy. Why is it that I have to explain over and over again to my husband the directions to a place that he has been to twenty times already?
That is the real question I’d like answered.
Please
Anyone?
I am the navigator in the fam. But, the sweet hubs always drives. Hmmmm. I’ve learned that when I tell him he’s going the wrong way, he gets a little frustrated with me. So, I usually say, “Hey babe, know where you’re going?” And that’s my code for “Exit now!” And he does.
And we laugh and laugh and laugh some more about it.
I think I was born with a compass in my nose.
Dh is usually in charge because he has to be behind the wheel. I learned on our honeymoon as we drove across New Zealand that it was just as well if he drove all the time because even if I was driving, I’d be sightseeing at the same time and he’s still just be looking at the road.
But he travels so much for business that he’s used to just kind of driving around and looking for things. That’s how he gets to know new areas… just driving around.
I occasionally get my hands on a map and find myself in the navigator’s chair. Which calms my nerves quite a bit. Because, you know, it’s all about me and my control over the situation.
Two words. “Tom Tom”.
Hi, Boo! This is your Central Texas Fan Club, coming out of lurk-mode to answer THE question!
Greg’s mom rode with us once, and she made the mistake of saying, Why do you always tell him where to go? So I shut up, and after about half an hour, she says, Shouldn’t we be there already? Yep. Why aren’t we? He missed the turn. Why didn’t you tell him? HA! (A “Kodak moment” except for being audio taped, not photographed!)
PS Greg’s atlas is in the bathroom. His reading material. Weird….
You really should warn us when you visit Madison. I would have called in some paparazzi. Then you could have claimed it was their fault when derouted…
He’s the driver, I’m the navigator.
Supposedly.
He’s a great driver, but doesn’t TRUST his navigator. I say “take this exit”, he says “Are you sure?” and breezes past it. Argh! Any time we get lost, it’s because he wouldn’t listen to me. Hello? Who HAS THE MAP? I may be spatially challenged, but I can read a map.
He prints the maps, I have a compass in my nose. When he is alone, he gets lost… coming home from work.:)
My hubby is directionally challenged even in a place we go many times. There for we agreed on the purchase of TOMTOM. He is the driver, but I just tell him where to go. Thankfully though on long trips TomTom has allow me to sleep and worry that he is going to make a wrong turn.
two months before we got married, my (now) husband bought me a GPS device for the car – I guess he KNEW my directional skills were going to cause tense moments!
Bridgette is our navigator. She is a GPS that we got half off at a going out of business sale, but we love her just the same. I have no idea why my husband named her Bridgette, but it has brought about some questioning by me to find out who in his previous life had that name!
We recently got a Magellan GPS. We named her Vickie (one of Magellan’s ships was named Victoria).
Vickie is one smart cookie. Over the weekend we headed down to Richmond from DC. Vickie knew we were in the HOV lanes…
Vickie has saved us on many occasions–and she’s probably why we’re still together!
If I’m not 100% positive either Terry or myself know where we are going, I look it up on Google Maps. I like the scenic route, but feeling lost makes me all twitchy.
Oh, my sister is the navigator. Our main rule is if she turns the map upside down, we are lost. Pull over and stop because you never know where you may be heading!
My husband, who is normally very good with directions, got lost 3 times on our first date.
I would be the navigator of our family, and I always make my husband crazy nervous in the car! Of course, he makes me crazy nervous! I’m always pushing that imaginary brake pedel on the passenger side of the car. You know the one of which I speak, right?
I am the chief navigator on our excursions. But I am not as good with Google and mapquest as I am with a real honest to goodness map. And I can even fold those suckers back up correctly! Go me! Though I seem to be losing some of this skill as I age.
My husband and I both know that I am totally directionally challenged, so whenever we’re driving to a new place, I’ll get lost. But I do drive much faster than my hubby, so even though we get to the wrong destination, we get there very quickly!
Too funny.
Yes, I have watched a group of Southern Women get ready for a party and this Canadian gal has learned to stay the heck out of their way and just admire the shoes!
When my husband became legally blind, I had to take over the driving, and this is when my hubby and I knew we truly loved each other because for awhile there it was touch-and-go until he learned to tell me to turn 2 blocks from where I should turn, not 2 miles! Did I mention I have a short attention span? I’m also directionally challenged and I freely admit it! My DH just bought a GPS for me with (and this is VERY important) TURN-BY-TURN directions. It’s a Garmin StreetPilot c550 and I love it!
DH and I are pretty balanced in our approach. I got him a GPS for Christmas b/c he’s a gadget geek who hates asking for directions and would just as soon divine his way to our next destination. But our rule is that the driver of the car gets to pick the route and the passenger doesn’t get a whole lot of input on the route to be taken unless there’s a REALLY GOOD REASON OH MY GOSH THE ROAD IS JUST GONE WE CAN’T GO THAT WAY! Works well for us! GPS doesn’t have a name though…I’ll have to ask him about a name for it and he’ll look at me like I hit my head on something and we’ll go on from there with a nameless GPS!
And the comment on the capri pants – cracked me up!! At LPL in San Diego in April Miss Beth told us we weren’t allowed to talk about the Friday night teaching to our buddies AT ALL when we got home that night! It was just between our hearts and God until she completed the teaching on Saturday afternoon. So at the end of the praise set to end Friday night, Travis reminded us of this, that we were to keep our mouths shut and he actually said to an arena of women “Now y’all aren’t gonna talk about what you’ve learned tonight, right? Y’all can talk about your cute capri pants or whatever, but not about what Beth’s been teachin’ ya!” I cracked up!! I thought that was such a Southern thing to say, and I was very impressed he knew what a “capri pant” is! Not too tough now to see how he got that knowledge if the capri pant is that prevalent in the south!! I’d love to read that post! ;)
On our very first date, I thought I knew the way back to the freeway and ended up getting us completely lost in the middle of a city I’d been driving to frequently since I was four. We figured it was a bad sign. It was.
(Shh–dont’ tell anyone I’m leaving this comment. I’m totally supposed to be on a bloggie break and have my computer shut off and stowed right now. Addiction, thy name is blogging.)
That’s why you liked Africa! Because really, it’s all about the relationships, not being on time or anything. Time is relative, and your relatives take a lot of time, remember.
My husband just humors me. He just uh huh’s when I give him directions. Once he does that enough, I’ll ask him, “You know where you’re going, don’t you?” And he’ll pull out the big guns – the “Yes, dear.”
He does not call me dear, so you know he’s annoyed at that point.
I LOL because Hubby and I have been lost in that very same area trying to get to the very same Barnes and Noble!
We call him Gregory the GPS and he has saved our marriage. Seriously. A lot of times.
It’s both of us really. He makes the decisions and I contradict him. I am wrong and he smirks. He then asks if he should go left or right and I respond with, “Don’t ask me because obviously I NEVER know where I am going.” Thank goodness for the handy GPS on my iPhone. Well, except last weekend when we were in College Station and I was looking for the Mariott Courtyard. Who would have guessed they have 2 of them in CS?? NOT ME! So, after driving through CS and turning around just to drive back to 6 to find the Marriot Courtyard located directly off the freeway husband was not happy. Oops.
← Previous Comments
Comments on this entry are closed.