The Real Crime, I Think, Was The Beard

You might be sad if you knew how I looked forward to tonight’s episode of The Office ALL DAY LONG.

Because make no mistake: my life is TERRIBLY EXCITING.

I was actually a little surprised by all the bittersweet in this episode, what with Michael’s excitement over a potential new girlfriend being almost completely wiped out by his conflicted sense of responsibility for another woman who doesn’t even love him.

And don’t even get me started on Jim and Pam. Because that whole thing made my heart hurt. For both of them.

Nonetheless, a few highlights:

1. “Good news. I’ve married. Tell Father.”

2. “If the devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what kind of party would you have?”

3. “I am downloading some N3P music for a CD mixtape.”

4. “Hazing is a fun way to show a new employee that she is not welcome or liked.”

5. “Act-TIIIIIIING!”

6. “Holly is sweet and simple, like a lady baker.”

7. “I SAID OKAY.”

8. “I LOVE PIE!”

And earlier I was going to say something about how there wasn’t near enough Andy in this episode, but never mind all that because I sort of want to kick him right now.

Thoughts, interpeeps?