1. Volunteer at some sort of clown convention.
2. Attend some sort of clown school.
3. Dress up as some sort of clown.
4. Yell for the Rebels when they’re playing the Bulldogs.
5. Stick my head out of a dressing room and say, “Hey! This two is way too big. Could someone grab me a zero?”
6. Ask my husband if we can wear matching shirts.
7. Quit loving Popeye’s fried chicken.
8. Call a radio station to request “Red, Red Wine.”
9. Eliminate yoga pants from my wardrobe.
10. Refuse a hug from that sweet five year-old down the hall.
11. Wish that Andy wasn’t on “The Office.” Because, you know, he’s gold.
12. Choose fruit over chocolate.
13. Write a skit.
14. Perform in a skit.
15. Recruit others to participate in a skit.
16. Lose touch with my forever friends.
17. Wish I wasn’t Southern.
18. Turn down a chance to take a trip with my hubby.
19. Stop feeling deeply, profoundly grateful whenever I read I Timothy 5:15-17.
20. Look at a plate of mashed potatoes and say, “You know, I don’t really care for starches.”
What about you?
May 26th, 2008 at 12:04 am
THAT was funny. I needed to laugh out loud before bed.
Hey…thank you for posting the link to Angie’s blog. It was chilling to start reading and realize that her story is my own. Bless her heart.
May 26th, 2008 at 12:47 am
That is hilarious! I can’t think this late at night, but thanks for the laugh!
May 26th, 2008 at 12:47 am
Loved this list! #5 made me laugh…I won’t be poking my head out of the dressing room asking for a size 0 either, or a size 2, 4, 6, or 8 for that matter. And I’m with you on #19 too, I’m so grateful for His mercy, overwhelming and undeserved!
May 26th, 2008 at 1:05 am
I think #14 might be in your future.
How cute is this post.
May 26th, 2008 at 5:43 am
Very, very funny.
And after reading #8, I have decided not to invite you to join my UB40 fan club, which I was going to name “UB40? IB42!”
May 26th, 2008 at 6:25 am
I love your list. I’ll never hollar “this size two is way too big” either, but I HAVE written a skit and been in many of them.
May 26th, 2008 at 7:24 am
i would never have any sort of reptile as a pet!
May 26th, 2008 at 7:39 am
I will never:
1. Get tired of saying “I’m never moving again!” (Ummm, we’re moving again. Yeah – ironic, isn’t it?)
2. Lose my love of reading.
3. Stop loving my kids.
4. Stop dancing in the grocery aisles whenever the feeling strikes.
5. Stop singing to the radio.
6. Fit into my wedding dress again. (Man, I was tiny when I married!)
7. Have breast enhancement surgery.
8. Win any awards for MOTY.
9. Write a book.
10. Stop trying to have a mirl date with you. (You can sigh now. I get that all the time.)
May 26th, 2008 at 8:06 am
I WILL NEVER:
1. Give up Diet Coke
2. Run for president
3. Stop loving God
4. Stop being a clean freak
5. Jump from a plane
6. Enjoy humidity
7. Start smoking
8. Say “no thanks” to french fries
9. Have a cholesterol level below 200 :0 Due to #8
10. Love anyone more than I love my husband
11. Go on Survivor-for fear of bugs, snakes, and things that eat you.
12. Stop trying to lose 10# (due to #8)
13. Give up on un-saved family and friends
14. Stop brushing my teeth
15. regret going to nursing school, even though I’m a stay at home mom now
16. Stop loving HOUSE (the tv show)
17. Give a hitch hiker a ride
18. Enjoy a mammogram (but I get them yearly anyway!!! And so should you)
19. Be able to sing well
20. Stop reading BOO MAMA!
Kelly S.
19.
10.
May 26th, 2008 at 8:13 am
I up down with MOST of your list, but seeing as how you show agape love, I will admit that I DO like “Red, Red Wine.” It reminds me of laying out in high school. (I can add that to my list of things I won’t do–lay out in the blazing son slathered in baby oil.)
I will go even FARTHER and admit that I have UB-40′S versions of “THE WAY YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO” AND “I CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU” in my play list. It must be a disease.
May 26th, 2008 at 8:14 am
I don’t know WHAT the first three words of my comment are supposed to mean other than it’s the end of the school year and 6th graders have begun to affect my brain.
May 26th, 2008 at 8:34 am
1. I’ll never say never ever again.
2. No more white water rafting.
3. Wear something that shows my midriff (or muffin top if we are being honest).
4. Quit reading blogs to get my quota of funny bright women who are “authentic” – sheesh that word sounds like one of those wretched fake Mexican food places – authentic recipes – yeah right.
I digress
Thanks for the laughs today – needed and accepted!
May 26th, 2008 at 9:01 am
1. The weekend is just too long.
2. I wish we had more dirty laundry.
3. Lines on my face just give me character.
4. A trip to the beach is a waste of time and money.
5. And…….I will never yell “Roll Tide” – No matter who they are playing. :)
May 26th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Too funny! Now, guess what song is stuck in my head?? :-)
May 26th, 2008 at 9:31 am
I will never
1. Go bungee jumping.
2. Be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and however much of it I want and not gain an ounce. (That’s one of the few things I do miss about high school!)
3. Fully understand men!
May 26th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Every time IE tries to update your feed it says “IE cannot update this feed because it contains DTD’s”.
This has only started happening over the last week or so. Have you changed anything or do you know of anything I can do to fix this?
May 26th, 2008 at 9:56 am
I used to think I would NEVER attend a Star Trek convention. Wouldn’t you know it, my husband took me to one. I discovered I am a closet sci-fi geek. We did not dress up, though. Very bizarre, but fascinating in a way. Gene Roddenberry’s wife was a speaker and was interesting to listen to.
I will say with great confidence that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER skydive. Nope. Never.
Along the same lines as the others, I will NEVER yell, “Go Gators!” Yuck.
May 26th, 2008 at 9:58 am
This list made me laugh OUT LOUD.
Several times.
May 26th, 2008 at 10:20 am
I will never…
1. Get caught up on my house.
2. Be organized.
3. Look around my house and think, “What do I do now? I have a place for everything and everything is in it’s place. I guess I’ll go to the park.”
4. Walk by my computer and hope I don’t have any new email.
5. Dislike starches, either.
6. Get tired of reading blogs.
7. Run in a marathon.
8. Get tired of worshipping God.
9. Be good enough.
10. Have to be good enough, because Jesus is good enough FOR me, on my behalf, instead, in my place – forever.
11. By the grace of God, stop being grateful for #10.
May 26th, 2008 at 10:24 am
I’ll never stop wondering where my comment went… I even made up my own list! Funny and thoughtful all at the same time. But I’m not doing it again in case it shows up after all. Cuz I’m stubborn like that. Oh well.
May 26th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Love reading these “nevers”… how about 20 things you hope to do before you die? Yikes, that was suddenly morbid. Hope you know what I mean – what’s your “bucket list”? I’d love to know!
May 26th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Also, in response to Mel’s comment… I can say pretty confidently that I’ll never attend a Star Trek convention. (and our last name is Roddenberry!) I’ll probably never stop being asked by strangers if we are related to him.
May 26th, 2008 at 11:12 am
1. I will never admit that I really enjoy my Chris’ teasing.
2. I will never stop eating alfredo sauce, even after I found out how many calories it has.
3. I will never stop being a Longhorn, even though my diploma says Texas A&M.
4. I will never stop saying y’all; yea, even in Colorado.
5. I will never stop being thrilled by the sound of the AF Thunderbirds flying right.over.my.house! Today!
6. I will never enjoy going up the road on Mt. Herman in our Durango. It is not my thing.
7. I will never wish my life was any different than it is.
8. I will never turn my back on Jesus–just couldn’t.
9. I will never cease to enjoy the sounds of laughter and crazyness that four children and one child-like husband brings to our home.
10. I will never stop singing at randdom times and making up songs–who said life is not like a musical? Mine is.
11. I will never stop smiling at a new day.
12. I will never stop stopping to smell the roses.
13. I will never say that life is so very easy–it’s just not.
14. I will never stop being a girl, who loves to dream.
15. I will never stop being a best friend to my Chris.
16. I will never stop being tender-hearted and crying easily.
17. I will never stop being a pray-er for others.
18. I will never stop…coughing (or so it would seem–hee hee!).
19. I will never stop missing Jordan Almonds being sold at the movies.
20. I will never stop enjoying a lazy morning like this one.
I would say I will never stop this list; but alas, life is calling me.
HAVE a WONDER-filled Memorial day, friend!!
holly
May 26th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Never EVER will I refuse a good cup of coffee!!!
Or ice cream….
Or chocolate!
And NEVER EVER EVER will you NOT hear me say I love you Lord! Each and every day of my life….
May 26th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Coulrophobia- it’s nothing to clown around about!
PS… I will NEVER go skydiving!
May 26th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
1. Eat Spam or tongue again. Ever.
2. Regret staying home with my babies.
3. Stop loving shopping.
4. Learn the Periodic Table of Elements
5. Care about the Periodic Table of Elements
6. Win Jeopardy.
7. Stop loving brownies and cookies.
8. Sell Cutco knives. Again.
9. Enjoy ironing.
10. Give up on my brother and my Mom.
11. Stop saying y’all.
12. Stop lovin’ the Mama’s. (you and Big)
13. Regret marrying my man!
14. Stop being a word nerd.
15. Stop wishing I could be a unicorn.
16. Start smoking.
17. Swim the English Channel.
18. Hold a tarantula. I can barely type it without shaking.
19. Bleach my hair. Again.
20. Stop collecting gift wrap.
May 26th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Loved this. And agree on most things. Especially the skit stuff. Skits are dumb.
Here are a few things I would never do:
1. Make my own baby food.
2. Be a vegetarian.
3. Say I miss being pregnant.
4. Buy a Tickle Me Elmo for someone that lives under the same roof as me.
May 26th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I agree – i will NEVER eliminate yoga pants from my wardrobe- especially lululemon- i can’t get enough of them http://www.someonespoilme.com/gift-review/lululemon-athletica-reverse-groove-pant/
May 26th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
climb a mountain without oxygen
wait…make that, climb a mountain
eat sourkraut and weiners
wear a bikini
say it’s better to live in an earthquake zone than a tornado alley. Give me tornados any day.
May 26th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
You should never say never. The way vanity sizing is going, perhaps you will soon be a size 2. Won’t THAT be fun. ;)
May 26th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I will never say “this store just doesn’t carry small enough sizes” like my coworker does.
And amen on those mashed taters.
May 26th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
I loathe Red, Red Wine. It is right there with Life In A Northern Town.
May 26th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
1) Forget to eat
2) Refuse anything chocolate
3) Handle snakes in any capacity
4) Sit on a public toilet seat without wiping it off first.
May 26th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Love this post! LOL!
1. Stop telling my husband I love you.
2. Pick up a snake!!!!!
3. Jump out of an airplane.
4. Jog
5. Go deep sea fishing.
6. Stop be grateful for the mercy of the Lord!
May 26th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I will never:
1. Stop missing my Dad.
2. Say we’re done adopting. Learned that one the hard way….three kids ago.
3. Stop enjoying the sound of a little voice calling me Grandma, even though I am entirely too young to be one.
4. not be moved to tears when the church is singing, “Victory In Jesus”.
5. take my health for granted.
6. Ask God why but I may ask what He is thinking and beg Him to reconsider. Then do it.
7. stop loving my husband.
May 26th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
What a great list. I must join in.
I will never..(even though it’s a long time)
1. Go skating (roller or ice)
2. Go skydiving
3. Go bungee jumping
4. Go on a cruise.
5. Ride in a hot air balloon.
6. Walk on stilts
7. Do the limbo
8. Get tired of hearing my granddaughter’s laugh
9. Get tired of going to bookstores
10.Be a top model
11.Be a fireman(I respect them, but I have allergies and I’m too old)
12.Be a policeman(I respect them also, but I am afraid of guns and again, I’m too stinkin’ old to chase people)
13.Give birth again.
14.Climb a mountain.
15.Jump on a trampoline.
16.Be a professional dancer
17.Swim in the olympics
18.Stop lovin’ the South
19.Have thick hair
20.Stop lovin’ purses.
I say do stuff while you are young. I think some of us get too afraid of breaking bones and have good reason to. Now I love nice quiet, relaxing fun!
May 26th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Oh yes…YOU’RE WELCOME!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOoR2zucvvw&feature=related
May 26th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Never…I learned quickly to never say Never…God always seems to do the things in my life that I say I would NEVER do!!
Great list!!
May 26th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
I will never have a clown at my child’s birthday pary… or at any party I host for that matter.
May 26th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
HEeeeyyyyy! What’s wrong with Red,Red Wine????? It’s kinda’ nostalgic, ya’ know? Okay, I guess for me…..
May 26th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
1. I will never float on a big boat in a really big ocean because, where the heck is the bottom, people?!
2. I will never stop loving chocolate.
3. I will never step on the wrong end of a rake again.
4. I will never have this car look like a mamamobile. Why? Because when someone hits your car really hard and totals it, the insurance company kind of laughs when you say, “but Kelly Blue Book lists it as — .” Uh yes ma’am. That’s for a car in EXCELLENT condition. Well, the outside was.
5. I will never do karaoke.
6. I will never be able to feel good about paying full price.
7. I will never understand the folks who buy things and have them wrapped as a gift for themselves and actually admit it. (We do free gift wrap at the art gallery that I work at.)
8. I will never be able to let go of my complete hatred (big, ugly, horrible word) for people who TALK! VERY! LOUD! ON! THEIR! CELL! IN! PUBLIC! It’s a pet peeve. A really big one. I just don’t need to know that much about y’all.
9. I will never be able to understand the sandals that are designed to show more than say an inch or so of your toes. I mean, does the opening really need to start at nearly the top of your foot on anything other than flip flops?
10. I will never understand capri’s. I understand that other folks can wear them and be okay. How is it that an average sized 5′1″, 34 year old looks like a chunky soccer player? It’s bad.
11. I will never understand shirts with bad words printed on them. Why?
12. I will never understand pants with things/words printed on the rear. I mean, is my can not big enough already that I need to plaster something back there to really call attention to it?
13. I will never be a good woman who changes her purse to match her outfit. It just isn’t in me.
14. I will never be a good woman who gets manicures. I trash them immediately. Now, I could handle a pedicure.
15. I will never understand how I was all oooey about critters, but now that we have a little girl, mama will hold things just to show her it’s okay. (Even though I’m completely grossed out.)
16. I will never understand how the laundry multiplies as it falls down the laundry chute. I mean, really, I didn’t put that much down there did I?
17. I will never understand why I have all of these GREAT! reusable shopping bags, and even a chico bag on my key ring and 50% of the time fail to remember to use them.
18. I will never understand how my usually good 4 1/2 year old can go from crabby appleskins to sweet as pie at the flip of a switch.
19. I will never understand how I got such a cool husband and a neat kid.
20. I will never fail to be amazed at God’s forgiveness and love.
May 26th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
I put it up on my blog. This was fun :-)
May 26th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Hey Boo, Your Totally Rockin’ Blogroll and Email Me links just go back to your main page. (I tried to put this in an email, but couldn’t get there.)
May 26th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Uuuuuuuuuuum… never mind….
May 27th, 2008 at 2:03 am
I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever..eliminate yoga pants from my life. EVER. They are my favorite.
May 27th, 2008 at 2:14 am
That was a funny list indeed:) I agree mostly that I would never prefer fruit over chocolate;)
May 27th, 2008 at 2:34 am
I ADORE Red, Red Wine. Must be a British versus Southern thang : ) The song I’ll never request is one played constantly on a teenaged visit to the States…….The Devil Went Down to Georgia………truly terrrible !
May 27th, 2008 at 7:01 am
oh, yeah and popeye’s is the bomb. we don’t have one in wilmington. though, that’s probably good thing for my hips.
oh, and regarding your recent twitter…
i watch the bachelorette too.
[[shhhh]]
don’t tell anyone.
May 27th, 2008 at 8:53 am
I will never:
1. Put artificial sweetner in my tea, on purpose.
2. Raise squirrels
3. Burp the alphabet
4. Have long hair
5. Say, “Man, I look good in this swimsuit!”
6. Divorce my hubby
7. Draw a cartoon
8. Wish for my kids to grow up
I will never stop reading Boo Mama :D
May 27th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Praise Him…how have I missed 1 Timothy 5:15-17…I needed this.