Lately I feel like I need to apologize every single time I start a blog post, sort of like that sweet Jennifer on this season’s The Next Food Network Star who can’t so much as boil a potato without telling everyone how sorry, how terribly sorry she is that she maybe didn’t boil the potato quite like they would have liked because she really doesn’t know that much about potatoes except that they are delicious and she enjoys eating them but oh look she’s rambling, she can’t even believe how she’s rambling when she really just needs to describe the potato and she’s terribly sorry about the boiling and the eating and the rambling, ALL OF IT, EVERY SINGLE BIT.
But my word, y’all. I can’t seem to to write anything that has, you know, a point. And points are good when writing. Or “writing,” as it were. And so when I start writing a post that doesn’t have a point – LIKE THIS ONE, FOR EXAMPLE – I immediately feel the need to apologize and beg for your forgiveness.
Not that the begging for forgiveness part wouldn’t be just a smidge overwrought, of course.
So. All that being said.
Yesterday we tackled a mighty big to-do list, the boy and I, and by 11 AM we had conquered the bank, post office and library. The next item on our list was getting Alex a hair cut since lately his hairstyle has been looking eerily reminiscent of David Cassidy circa 1972, and quite frankly I’m not so sure that long, feathered wings are the best look for a five year-old.
(Sidenote: it’s now an hour after I wrote that last paragraph, because thinking of long, feathered wings reminded me of that Showbiz Moms & Dads show that was on Bravo a few years ago, so then I had to consult Google to check in on all involved parties, and I have been clicking away on a gloriously aimless YouTube journey ever since.)
(Addition to sidenote: perhaps this is why I’m struggling with the writing. Because I’m too busy chasing interweb rabbits.)
Anyway. The haircut.
When we walked in the salon I noticed that the girl who usually cuts the little guy’s hair seemed to be squinting, and upon closer inspection I realized that she really wasn’t squinting at all, it’s just that her right eye was almost completely closed. So I asked her if her eye was okay, and she said yes, it was fine, but over the weekend she was involved in some sort of minor accident involving errant fireworks and suffered a scratched eyeball as a result.
And then, in what had to have been one of the most surreal moments of my entire life, that kind girl proceeded to cut my child’s hair with only one eye open, all the while offering him valuable tips on fireworks safety.
The whole experience was so oddly touching and undeniably strange that I didn’t even care what Alex’s hair looked like (and it looked perfectly fine when she finished). I mean, have you ever tried to cut hair in a straight line with one eye completely shut? It cannot be easy, my friends.
We came home after the haircut so that I could turn my house upside down while I looked for a Payless receipt because I needed to return some shoes, and after about thirty minutes of TOTAL OBSESSION, I remembered that I’d put the receipt in the secretary in our bedroom before I left for SheSpeaks, and y’all, when I put my hands on that receipt I sighed with such relief that David actually looked up from his computer, laughed, and said, “This is when I wish that I had a blog.”
I thought it was real sweet that he would want to give the internet a whole new perspective on my crazy.
So Alex and I left the house again to go to Payless and the grocery store (I was in desperate need of Mrs. Meyer’s countertop spray; whatever would I do if I couldn’t make my kitchen smell like geraniums?) and finally around four we returned home so that I could cook supper and gear up for the MOST DRAMATIC BACHELORETTE EPISODE EVER.
So.
Alex wanted to play a game on my computer while I cooked, but when I tried to put the game CD in my disk drive, I couldn’t. This is no doubt related to when I dropped my computer in the airport right before I left for Africa and dented the area around the disk drive pretty badly, but for whatever reason everything has been functional up until now. However, clearly something has happened to jam the disk drive, and as a result of that my computer has gone from needing some minor body work to being a full-on – and much-beloved – Hoopty Laptop.
(Other things wrong with Hoopty Laptop: it will not shut, the fan does not work, the power cord won’t stay plugged in and I cannot run more than two applications at a time without being hypnotized by the colored spinning wheel.)
(Also: F and H pop off of the keyboard if you click on them the wrong way. Or if you click on J and G the wrong way. I think F and H are sort of over me at this point, truth be told.)
So I found a screwdriver and pulled up the frame surrounding the disk drive (I seriously doubt that prying apart the Hoopty Laptop frame with a screwdriver is a Hot Tip in the Mac forums), and I finally managed to insert a CD. I was even able to eject the CD once Alex finished his game, and I didn’t even have to use tweezers to pull it out. I thank the Lord for small mercies.
I would also thank the Lord if someone from Apple emailed me this afternoon and offered me a new laptop for free, which, by the way, is totally not at all likely.
After supper I started watching THE MOST DRAMATIC BACHELORETTE EPISODE EVER, and since I am Very Refined I was enthralled from the get-go. I won’t spoil the ending for anyone, but I have to say that my absolute favorite moment was when Jesse presented DeAnna with a small scrapbook of their time together, and he referred to the scrapbook as A Book of Thoughts.
I have never loved Jesse more than I did in that moment. Because he had some thoughts, and he put them in a book, ergo: A Book of Thoughts.
In fact, I’m contemplating changing the name of my blog to A Blog of Thoughts. Because I have some thoughts, and I put them on a blog, ergo: that title I just mentioned.
And do you know what would be super awesome? If I could take those thoughts and turn them into points.
Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll even have A Blog of Points.
An Unapologetic Blog of Points That I Composed On My Hoopty Laptop.
A girl can dream, internets.
A girl can dream.
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you are absolutely hysterical. i’m glad that i’m not the only rambler. i got it from my dad. he would tell a story that should take 3 minutes but it turned into 15. oh my. i wonder what he’d be talking about now if he were still alive. probably the same goings on as usual. as for your hoopty laptop…it’s a mac right? guess i know what not to buy when i get one. he he :)
Jenn absolutely killed me with all the apologizing, but I have to say I knew she wouldn’t last much longer.
For the first time in a few seasons, my pick didn’t win. However, the proposal and that that followed was quite adorable. They do make a good couple.
“See ya later” ;)
Classic to the core.
You make not having a point more enjoyable than anyone else I know! It’s a talent I hope to pick up from you someday by osmosis via your laptop and my hoopty computer (I didn’t know that was what’s wrong with it, but now I’m sure. And obviously my hubby will agree though he will keep asking me “What in the world did you do to the computer???!!!”) : )
I’m glad you feel pointless too sometimes. …
wait, that came out wrong
So glad to know that I am not the only sidetracked by an internet rabbit.
are you not going to fill us in on showbiz moms and dads: where are they now?? please.
The reference to the letters in the middle of the post made me think of Chicka-chicka-boom-boom…I is tied up like tie, J and K are about to cry…Or something to that effect.
There are often times I wish I had a blog too.
Thank you for using the word “hoopty” and putting it back in my consciousness.
It was, indeed, THE MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVER! Oh, Boomama, I love you even more because you share love of the Bachelorette!
I was on the edge of my seat! My daughter and I could not believe it! We reallly, realllllly, thought she would pick Jason. But we loved them both. But thought she’d pick Jason and we were all prepared to be all sad and heartbroken for Jesse. We were certain that he would be the next Bachelor.
But shock and surprise to us! (But not my husband who knew, he KNEW early on that it would be Jesse! How’d he know?)
I’ll tell you how he knew…just like Jason figured it all out after he was saddened and had to sit with us and watch it play out…he saw the looks. The way she looked at Jesse.
The confusion over not really having figured it out was unsettling. But realizing that she chose Jesse because, well she loved him, was soooo amazingly awesome.
And the fact that there is such a lesson to learn through Jesse. We so often judge on the outward appearance, but GOD, He looks at the heart. And Jesse was so easy to love. The more we watched, the more we loved him.
OH, what a night! Wish I could’ve watched it with you. Wish you could’ve been sitting in my living room with my daughter and me all bugged eyed….
maybe one day in future Bachelor series…
Until then, ramble on, Boomama, ramble on! We heart rambling!
I love you. While it still costs money, I can offer you the tip that macmall.com is clearancing some non-hoopty laptops. I have also purchased a refurbished Mac off apple.com with much success. Maybe powermax.com and newegg.com would be worth a check. Also, I will be going to see Beth Moore next weekend, and am now doubly excited, having read your post on her. I have missed her studies, but have listened to the church ladies sing her praises. We’re heading to the Target Center in MPLS en masse. Speaking of rambling…
I will definately be adding you to my favorie blogs!! I happened to stumble across it while surfing the net, and let me tell you, I love your style!! Hoopy laptop = priceless!!! Love it!!
As always you crack me up and give me a good laugh! I love Alex’ pirate haircut! Sad that Deanna didnt pick my fave but the engaged couple looks cute!
We all love when you ramble and don’t have a point. Even your “I don’t have a point to this post” has a point. I wish I could ramble and not make points as good as you!
How I love the way you write and think. I too ramble and I have much more than the 10,000 words or so that we women have compared to what men use. My thinking tends to jump from one topic to another. I have a friend who we can haver really long conversations and jump all over and yet keep up. I loved this post. I was disappointed who Deanna picked. I tend to go with the safe way and Jason would be my “type” if I were still in the “market” ha, ha. Thanks again for all you share.
The tears came with the one eyed haircut! OMG LOL. Thank you for starting my day with a giggle.
I am SO identifying with your hoopty laptop (with the keys falling out and all) and sweet Jennifer, who apologizes for everything, that I can barely stop laughing to type.
I’m sorry–was that comment too long? You know some people leave long comments, but I never know what exactly is the right length of a comment. Oops, there goes my disk drive! Hee hee! And my fan won’t work! Maybe it’s the beginning of “the change,” ya know. Oh is that too much information? I am so sorry!
And so the rambling goes.
For a girl without a point, you sure scored some big ones with this post. :)
Speaking of to-do lists, how is your big to-do list that you told us about on the blog coming along? I’ve got a few crossed off, but I’m in need of some major money, time-travel or getting others to cooperate in order to make things happen…
I found your blog yesterday while googling: things to do with canned asparagus. Unfortunately, I didn’t have all of the ingredients to try your “healthy” recipe, but someday, I shall. :)
I think your blog is brilliant, and it makes me so happy to find another Christian mommy to a little boy. It doesn’t sound all that stellar, but believe me, it’s rare. I think your blog is brilliant! :)
Keep it up!
Oh, this is exactly why we love this blog!
I feel for you about the laptop. I dropped mine down the stairs and it worked for awhile before it died, too. And Steve Jobs didn’t knock on my door with a new one, either.
And YAY for Jesse! If she wouldn’t have married him, I would’ve. Except, I’m already married.
My blog is named Jenn Rambles On…but I must say, I haven’t rambled like that in a long time. I really enjoy your ramblings. They give both information and insight even if there is no point. I like it :)
I hate it when my laptop buttons get all uppity and rebellious. My comma button is going through a phase right now.
Heaven help me if I need an Oxford Comma. ;>)
Jen apologizes AND mentions her child in every episode. I mention my kids with every other breath, too, but probably not if I’m interviewing for a job to be a big network star. Only if I’m swapping poop stories with another mom.
You are way too funny !! Hope you have a good day and I will pray about that new laptop for you..You know he is in the miracle business…
Even your errands and Hoopty Laptop are interesting, in my humble opinion! I was very intrigued and captivated the entire time!!! Your writing style just makes it so fun!
We share the same brand of crazy because everything you said makes perfect sense to me. Like listening to my very own wigged out brain. So fun! Great post!
I’m thinking if Pioneer Woman can score big ticket items to review on her blog, you can do the same. There’s gotta be a way.
Whom to call. Whom to call.
Your laptop name sounds like a Disney sideshow. You could go on the road as a duet! And apologize profusely to your audience.
I could be on to something.
Or not.
You have a storytelling gift for the random and nonessential. It could be a spiritual gift, I’ll have to check the list.
OH MY GOSH, you are hysterical. I have heard about you around the LPM blog and decided to check you out! Sure enough the Siesta’s are correct about you, you are hilarious and I am thoroughly enjoying reading your blog.
I am fairly new to the world of blogging and am a new Siesta, so hopefully we will have the opportunity to get to know one another soon. Hoping you are going to SFWeekend in San Antonio next month, cause I would LOVE to meet you!
OH & you just gotta love Hoopty computers… have one myself right now! :D
I so watched the Bachelorette as well!!
And I was thrilled with her choice as it 100% brought me full circle as to why I am dating my ‘fella. : )
Your day sounds ALMOST as exciting as mine. However, I don’t have a wee one to shuttle around town with me…I just have a dog that is beside himself with excitement every time I return home.
Anyway, I just want to comment that I love the Mrs. Meyer geranium line. I never thought that geraniums smelled all that fantastic, but when the scent is made into things like all-purpose cleaner and hand soap, it is divine!
you don’t need a point.
you’re hah-lar-i-ous!
Oh, BooMama. Points are seriously overrated!!
I have never enjoyed ramblings so much :o) Of course when the tagline of my blog is Rambling Musings of a 20 something that does say something about me :o)
And my laptop is well on it’s way to being a hoopty too :o)
Wow, your little hairstylist girlie conquered the need for depth perception while performing a haircut?
That’s some skillz, yes it is.
Ask for 2 laptops and I’ll be happy to take the other one off your hands. ;)
oh that poor sweet thing Jennifer…she should have a book of apologizes. And how I love the Bachelorette.
I happen to like your rambling. It’s like sitting on a well worn couch and not worrying about spilling anything… and feeling totally fine with putting your feet up on its arms, shoes and all.
I got so tickled at the ending of the Bachelorette “after show” last night when I saw Jesse jump on that couch to get to his love.
See, that’s the sign that he is totally comfortable with her.
Just like the readers of your blog are with you.
It works.
Points are overrated.
BTW, I discovered the Baby Blossom scent of Mrs. Meyers yesterday at the Babies R Us… bought one of everything.
I say you call Apple in Northern California and say, “Hi, y’all, this is Boo Mama. My Mac has gone all hoopty on me. I’m a blogger, and I’ll say you’re practically the fried chicken of computers if you’ll give me a new one free. Whaddya say?”
We watched the Bachlorette too – Deanna is from here, and I do not know her, but she dated a great friend of ours.
Rambling is great… who says there has to be a point to everything?!
I cannot WAIT to see who comes to the blog through the search engine for “the DRAMATIC BACHELORETTE working on her Hoopty Laptop while learning to make Fried Chicken from the apologetic Next Food Network Star!” (except your not a bachelorette, you have hubs to work on the laptop for you and you already know how to make fried chicken, right?)
Always rolling after your post, so stop apologizing already, will ya?!!
Okay, I think this is the first time I’ve ever commented on your blog but I do read it often. You crack me up. And I love the fact that you watch reality TV because I love reality TV.
So after reeeling from last night’s Bachelorette finale I was searching for comments on the internet and thought “I bet Boo Mama will have something to say about this!” I just can’t believe it! I have been saying to my husband all week that it will be Jason and he’s great but that I’m so sad for Jesse because he seems like such a sweet guy! I’m still in shock and I feel so so bad for Jason.
Thanks for such a fun blog.
Just love your ramblin’ thoughts.
BM, (stands for Boo Mama & not the medical term we hear our Peds say)
Ya know, the thing with points is that they can be so sharp in the end…
…glad the man-child’s hair is feather-free. He’ll thank you someday.
Seriously, I loved the Bachelorette this season, although I’m thoroughly ashamed to admit that I’ve ever even seen it. Mostly I’m like, “What? DeeAnna who?” So nice that you admitted it . . .
Points? Makes me think too much of Weight Watchers. Ugh. Rambling around is so much more fun.
You are too funny! I thought the show was great! I don’t think Jesse will mind at all if you borrow his title! Have at it girl!
It has never been more clear why I have a warm and fuzzy affection for you: you meander and hop down bunny trails AND ACTUALLY ARRIVE AT YOUR POINT better than me! Lots better!
My friends who don’t blog (and who subsequently don’t know who “BooMama” is) would never believe there’s someone who’s more masterful at this skill than me.
Thank you.
:)
Your “rambling all the way to nowhere” posts are some of my favorites! Although, I don’t think my husband was a fan last night when I interrupted his story and said “do you think you might be rambling all the way to nowhere with this?”
I love when you hop off on rabbit trails. Then I know that as a professional rambler, I’m at least in good company.
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