Oh Please Do Let Me Tell You About My Errands

Lately I feel like I need to apologize every single time I start a blog post, sort of like that sweet Jennifer on this season’s The Next Food Network Star who can’t so much as boil a potato without telling everyone how sorry, how terribly sorry she is that she maybe didn’t boil the potato quite like they would have liked because she really doesn’t know that much about potatoes except that they are delicious and she enjoys eating them but oh look she’s rambling, she can’t even believe how she’s rambling when she really just needs to describe the potato and she’s terribly sorry about the boiling and the eating and the rambling, ALL OF IT, EVERY SINGLE BIT.

But my word, y’all. I can’t seem to to write anything that has, you know, a point. And points are good when writing. Or “writing,” as it were. And so when I start writing a post that doesn’t have a point – LIKE THIS ONE, FOR EXAMPLE – I immediately feel the need to apologize and beg for your forgiveness.

Not that the begging for forgiveness part wouldn’t be just a smidge overwrought, of course.

So. All that being said.

Yesterday we tackled a mighty big to-do list, the boy and I, and by 11 AM we had conquered the bank, post office and library. The next item on our list was getting Alex a hair cut since lately his hairstyle has been looking eerily reminiscent of David Cassidy circa 1972, and quite frankly I’m not so sure that long, feathered wings are the best look for a five year-old.

(Sidenote: it’s now an hour after I wrote that last paragraph, because thinking of long, feathered wings reminded me of that Showbiz Moms & Dads show that was on Bravo a few years ago, so then I had to consult Google to check in on all involved parties, and I have been clicking away on a gloriously aimless YouTube journey ever since.)

(Addition to sidenote: perhaps this is why I’m struggling with the writing. Because I’m too busy chasing interweb rabbits.)

Anyway. The haircut.

When we walked in the salon I noticed that the girl who usually cuts the little guy’s hair seemed to be squinting, and upon closer inspection I realized that she really wasn’t squinting at all, it’s just that her right eye was almost completely closed. So I asked her if her eye was okay, and she said yes, it was fine, but over the weekend she was involved in some sort of minor accident involving errant fireworks and suffered a scratched eyeball as a result.

And then, in what had to have been one of the most surreal moments of my entire life, that kind girl proceeded to cut my child’s hair with only one eye open, all the while offering him valuable tips on fireworks safety.

The whole experience was so oddly touching and undeniably strange that I didn’t even care what Alex’s hair looked like (and it looked perfectly fine when she finished). I mean, have you ever tried to cut hair in a straight line with one eye completely shut? It cannot be easy, my friends.

We came home after the haircut so that I could turn my house upside down while I looked for a Payless receipt because I needed to return some shoes, and after about thirty minutes of TOTAL OBSESSION, I remembered that I’d put the receipt in the secretary in our bedroom before I left for SheSpeaks, and y’all, when I put my hands on that receipt I sighed with such relief that David actually looked up from his computer, laughed, and said, “This is when I wish that I had a blog.”

I thought it was real sweet that he would want to give the internet a whole new perspective on my crazy.

So Alex and I left the house again to go to Payless and the grocery store (I was in desperate need of Mrs. Meyer’s countertop spray; whatever would I do if I couldn’t make my kitchen smell like geraniums?) and finally around four we returned home so that I could cook supper and gear up for the MOST DRAMATIC BACHELORETTE EPISODE EVER.

So.

Alex wanted to play a game on my computer while I cooked, but when I tried to put the game CD in my disk drive, I couldn’t. This is no doubt related to when I dropped my computer in the airport right before I left for Africa and dented the area around the disk drive pretty badly, but for whatever reason everything has been functional up until now. However, clearly something has happened to jam the disk drive, and as a result of that my computer has gone from needing some minor body work to being a full-on – and much-beloved – Hoopty Laptop.

(Other things wrong with Hoopty Laptop: it will not shut, the fan does not work, the power cord won’t stay plugged in and I cannot run more than two applications at a time without being hypnotized by the colored spinning wheel.)

(Also: F and H pop off of the keyboard if you click on them the wrong way. Or if you click on J and G the wrong way. I think F and H are sort of over me at this point, truth be told.)

So I found a screwdriver and pulled up the frame surrounding the disk drive (I seriously doubt that prying apart the Hoopty Laptop frame with a screwdriver is a Hot Tip in the Mac forums), and I finally managed to insert a CD. I was even able to eject the CD once Alex finished his game, and I didn’t even have to use tweezers to pull it out. I thank the Lord for small mercies.

I would also thank the Lord if someone from Apple emailed me this afternoon and offered me a new laptop for free, which, by the way, is totally not at all likely.

After supper I started watching THE MOST DRAMATIC BACHELORETTE EPISODE EVER, and since I am Very Refined I was enthralled from the get-go. I won’t spoil the ending for anyone, but I have to say that my absolute favorite moment was when Jesse presented DeAnna with a small scrapbook of their time together, and he referred to the scrapbook as A Book of Thoughts.

I have never loved Jesse more than I did in that moment. Because he had some thoughts, and he put them in a book, ergo: A Book of Thoughts.

In fact, I’m contemplating changing the name of my blog to A Blog of Thoughts. Because I have some thoughts, and I put them on a blog, ergo: that title I just mentioned.

And do you know what would be super awesome? If I could take those thoughts and turn them into points.

Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll even have A Blog of Points.

An Unapologetic Blog of Points That I Composed On My Hoopty Laptop.

A girl can dream, internets.

A girl can dream.