I should probably warn you that I have had a LOT of caffeine this afternoon, and it’s made me feel like Martha probably feels on a minute-by-minute basis, which is to say that I am VERY! EXCITED! about all manner of inconsequential things, including but not limited to the fact that I’m GOING! TO STEINMART(S)! TO LOOK! FOR SOME SUNGLASSES!, which of course is absolutely no big deal at all, but the overabundance of caffeine has me convinced that searching for those sunglasses is going to be the single most memorable event of my entire life, and I CAN’T WAIT! I JUST CAN’T WAIT!
And y’all? Seriously? This is the level of enthusiasm that Martha has for stuff like, oh, pimento and cheese. Or a cute postage stamp design. Or a dress she wore to a friend’s wedding back in 1964.
But I’m telling you, I think the combination of caffeine and football season has sent me right over the edge. There is absolutely nothing better than a clean football slate, than the last few hours before the season starts when I can tell myself with great certainty that the SEC Championship is OURS, ALL OURS, OH YES MA’AM.
You know, I think that of all the forms of optimism, the stone-cold, blind variety is my most favoritest kind.
So, to summarize, here are our plans for tomorrow: 1) football 2) football 3) nervous cleaning that accompanies watching my beloved Bulldogs play football and 4) SportsCenter.
And 5) QUESO.
We’ll be following up all the football by watching the weather incessantly and pleading with our relatives in Mississippi to DRIVE OVER HERE AND STAY WITH US, PLEASE. My parents were mighty stubborn post-Katrina; they didn’t have power for two weeks but insisted on staying home (unlike Martha and Sissie, who hopped in the car as soon as the trees were out of the roads and got over here ASAP so they could get their hair washed and set, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT). I’m hoping that this time, if need be, Mama and Daddy will get the heck out of dodge and head our way.
Hope y’all have a great Labor Day.
And be safe, Gustav people. You’ll be in our prayers.
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