Since the little guy came along, I haven’t played as many games as I used to. I mean, I play things like Sorry and Go Fish, but the late-night marathons of Spades, Canasta and Scattegories are a thing of the past. Because these days, if I’m playing a game, odds are that I’m getting my Candyland on.
Until this past weekend.
Because this past weekend, my sister-in-law introduced me to this word game on the computer where you’re given about 60 or 70 different letter tiles, and your goal is to find as many words as you can in a five minute period. It’s sorta like Scrabble, sorta like a Word Search, and sorta like THE MOST ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCE KNOWN TO MAN.
Plus, I’m not sure if y’all are aware of this, but between MSU sports (new coach! we have a new football coach!), diet Coke, and the hour-long delight that is “The Office” and “30 Rock,” I don’t so much need a new addiction.
But oh, do I have one.
And, if I may say so, I’m also really, exceedingly bad at it.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
My friend Daphne called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that she too is addicted, and we laughed our heads off as we talked about how this stupid game has humbled us beyond belief. We consider ourselves to be fairly smart girls, and yet both of us have spent an untold amount of time staring at the computer screen, trying with all our might to find words longer than three letters (PIN! GIN! DIN! FIN!). If I really get on a roll I’ll find some four-letter words (PINS! GINS! DINS! FINS!), and on the very odd occasion I’ll run across some five-letter words (DINER! MINER! MOVER!) and feel a sense of accomplishment that is completely disproportionate to the task at hand.
I mean, on Tuesday? When I found the word “FOREVER”? SEVEN WHOLE LETTERS?
Forget about it. I think I actually screamed “BOOYAH” right there at my kitchen table.
The most humiliating part of this whole word game thing has been my willingness to abandon all standards of spelling in the hopes of scoring a few extra points. I have slammed my fists on the table when the word game refused to recognize “dryv,” “nie,” “rea” or “stov” as legitimate answers, because even though I know those words don’t, you know, ACTUALLY EXIST IN ENGLISH, they totally make sense IN MY HEAD. Let me tell you: if I had a nickel for every single time I’ve tried to submit “rok” or “snim” or “reil” as an answer, I’d probably have a whole dollar by now, and besides, I hardly think it’s my fault if this game expects for the words to be “in the dictionary” or “legitimate” or “complete.”
Is a little linguistic flexibility too much to ask?
(And if I could find “linguistic” in that word game? I WOULD BUY MYSELF A TROPHY.)
But never fear. I will not be deterred. One of our favorite friends in the world also plays, and I’m determined to beat his top score. Right now I’m about 100 points away from that goal, and I WILL NOT BE STOPPED, OH NO I WON’T. I will work and fight and spell until it hurts, people, and if it’s the last thing I do on this earth I will take down our sweet friend IN THE STRONG NAME OF JESUS, AMEN.
Oh, I kid.
But not really.
Because I’m a smidge competitive.
And if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my game now. I just noticed that my husband has recently passed me in the rankings, and quite frankly that is unacceptable.
I’m sure you understand.
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