Because It Relaxes Me

I mean, PEOPLE. How am I supposed to hear the words “the rose ceremony goes terribly wrong” in the preview and NOT blog about tonight’s episode of “The Bachelor”?

I cannot resist.

Tonight Chris Harrison told us right away that there would be a group date, an individual date, and a 2-on-1 date. But the individual date had to be earned by writing and performing an original love song for Jason (IN ONLY THIRTY MINUTES!), and I knew I was in for a treat when I saw that 1) one person’s lyrics included the word “nuggets” and 2) Stephanie was practicing what could only be described as an aria.

Also. Did anyone else think that poor Nikki sounded like Judy Grimes on SNL? “I can’t do it I’m sorry I’m not creative I’m sorry I’d rather wear only a trench coat I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.” I just wanted to hug her.

One more thing: I think Shannon probably regretted her decision to rap.

And seriously. If someone told me that I had to sing in front of people in order to win a contest? I’d just leave. I’d pack my bags and leave. And then the remaining contestants could set their lyrics to the tune of my screeching tires. But in the end Molly won the one-on-one date by singing about fast food, and I have nothing but respect for that. Especially since I know how many times I’ve been creatively inspired by Popeye’s fried chicken.

Molly and Jason had a camp-out date at his house that stretched into the wee hours of the morning, and Molly scored a 1-2 punch in terms of making the other girls jealous when she did the early morning walk of shame and strolled through the front door wearing Jason’s clothes. In fairness the clothes-changing took place early in the evening and appeared to be totally innocent, but you have to hand it to the producers for finding new and inventive ways to stir the bachelorette pot. Because, you know, there hadn’t been nearly enough drama so far. What with all the crying and vomiting and fighting.

The group date was a trip to the General Hospital set for some of the cheesiest Bachelor shenanigans that I’ve ever had the sweet privilege to witness. All the cheesiness eventually took a toll, though, and the end-of-night wrap party found most of the girls in tears and fighting some serious jealousy. Megan thought for a brief moment that it was the greatest night of her life, but that feeling seemed to dissipate when Jason literally ducked and maneuvered her into a Friend Hug when she tried to move in for a kiss.

Lauren seemed to feel like bossing Jason around was the best strategy, but Viewers At Home couldn’t help but notice that the bossy seemed to make Jason bristle. Shannon went so far as to interrupt Jason and Melissa’s time together (prediction: Jason will pick Melissa when it’s all said and done); then she cried her eyes out and overshared. In the end Naomi got the rose, and everyone wiped away their tears and went home.

The 2-on-1 date went to Nikki and Stephanie, who got to live out my worst nightmare (aside from that songwriting-under-pressure business) by having to put on formal attire and ride in a fancy car and do some ballroom dancing. Personally I think they would’ve had a much better time if they’d hung out at the house in some sweats and watched DVDs of “30 Rock” while they ate queso dip. Then they could have reenacted the “Single Ladies” video if they wanted to cut a rug. But instead we had to witness the awkwardness of Nikki and Stephanie cutting in on each other during some sort of Ballroom Dancing Duel, and sadly there was not a bowl of queso dip in sight. Stephanie got the rose, and Nikki, unfortunately, won the most painful moment of the night award by way of her limo confessional. I feel like a “bless her heart” is most definitely in order.

Next up was the rose ceremony party, where Jason and Melissa’s conversation proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have CHEMISTRY FOR DAYS. Lauren continued with the bossiness, and I feel like it’s gonna be a really good day for her when she realizes that THE BOSSINESS, MAYBE NOT SO CHARMING.

Finally it was time for “the rose ceremony [to go] terribly wrong,” and Jason gave the first rose of the night to Melissa, like we didn’t know that was going to happen. The second rose went to Jillian, like we didn’t know that was going to happen, and the third rose went to no one at all, LIKE WE DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, EITHER. Jason’s spectacular avoidance techniques were pretty much a dead giveaway that he didn’t see himself with any of the remaining girls, and hopefully we’ll be spared All The Awkward for the remaining episodes.

And by the way, does anybody have a copy of the lyrics for Lauren’s “I Want To Be Famous” song?

Because while I love bears – ALL BEARS – that song may very well take this season’s Bachelor cake.

And if that wasn’t enough TV goodness for you, Chris Harrison promised us in the previews for next week that it’s going to be THE MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVER. I’ve been waiting all season to hear those words.

I would not miss it for the world.

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Comments

  1. Man…I missed it this week! I knew I could count on you for a recap though! Sounds like I missed a good one.

  2. I wanted to hide under the covers every time I saw him with Megan, Nikki, Lauren, or Shannon. Poor Megan just wants to be loved, Nikki just can’t come out of her comfort zone, Lauren is FULL-O-HERSELF, and Shannon?…What is there to say about Shannon? She is SCARY!! Can we say STALKER!?!?!

    I’m so with you on the Melissa thing. It will be either her or Jillian.

  3. Thanks for the giggle. I don’t watch the show because it’s so much better in recaps. The real thing just makes me squirm.

  4. I can die happy now that Shannon is gone. She is a very frightening individual. Honestly! Love your recaps.

  5. Well, I have this to say…

    I’d so changed a word or hum or note and went straight into
    All The Single Ladies….
    If you like then you should’ve put a ring on it!

    Well, if I was Shannon, maybe.

    A couple of other things…Molly is just down to earth. NO over the top shenanigans (or Shannon(agains)) HA HA HA…I”m sorry, cracked myself up there.

    BUt really, Molly was level headed, no ridiculous spill about how he should see their chemistry…Because, you know…that’s how chemistry works and all. One person forces you to see. RIght?

    GOOD GRIEF!

    So hats off to Molly for keepin’ it real.

    And finally, I saw it…Nikki’s resemblance to Sandra Bullock as has been pointed out on ihategreenbeans.com.

    She had some beautiful moments with her hair all down. Even in spite of the drama for crying out loud.

    BUT THEN…she brought those sideburns back.

    There’s always the possibility of more sideburns next week.

    I’ll be staying tuned.

  6. So, I love Stephanie (you just knew she was going to whup Nikki’s tail on that 2-on-1 date) but the glitter all over her face? Gots to go.

    And Shannon? Please don’t confess on national television that you FRENCH KISS YOUR DOG. Such confessions do not a successful dating life make.

    Also, please help me understand why Nikki’s first words in the limo were “Wow, I did NOT see that coming,” when that is, in fact, all she whined about the entire episode.

    Clearly, these women need to hear a word from Beth on the power of claiming things in their lives.

  7. The whole songwriting thing? Made me hyperventilate just watching it.

  8. Love your recap!

    I feel really afraid and sad for Shannon’s dog. And if I were Jason, I’d sleep with one eye open for THE REST OF HIS LIFE! Sump’n’s just not right.

    Does anyone else thing that Naomi looks like a knock-off version of Eva Mendes? Just checking.

    My money is on Molly or Melissa.

  9. I am so glad he put those girls out of their misery. It just made me down right uncomfortable to watch them try to woo Jason.

  10. I’m so glad you blogged about The Bachelor tonight. I just finished watching on DVR and was relieved that Jason sent those 3 girls packing. Poor Nikki… she just needed to relax already, and I think she might have stuck around a while longer. Um, Lauren’s little song pretty much proved her reasons for being there. Not many men that I know of go for the bossy bit. What was she thinkin’?! And the thought of Shannon giving her dog “french kisses”? Eww. I hope she uses her electric toothbrush AFTER she does that! :) I’m ridiculously addicted to this season of The Bachelor.

  11. I went to bed with that famous song in my head. UGH. And did Lauren really think threatening to slap Jason around and telling him how mad she was going to be really do anything but give him a flash forward preview of what life with her would be like?

    I once had a roommate that was JUST LIKE Nikki. I’m so glad I don’t have to re-live anymore of that need-for-serious-counseling-and-HUGH-doses-of-self-esteem side show.

    Happy to see the bossy, the mean and the stalker gone, though I’ll be happier too when Stephanie and Naomi are out too and we can get on to the business of the top three: Melissa, Molly and Jillian (my personal favorite, though I think Melissa will win and Jillian will be the next Bachelorette or vice versa).

    Thanks for the fun recap!

  12. You are crackin’ me up. THE most DRAMATIC rose ceremony EVER!

  13. Really?!?! What did you see in Jason and Melissa’s conversation that made you think chemistry? I thought she sounded rather stupid and uninteresting and he just kinda looked at her….I don’t know her at all, this is the first full episode I watched, but what I did see of her totally did not impress me.

  14. The only thing better than the DRAMA was reading your blog about it! The rose ceremony shows that Jason is a stand up guy, even if he has kissed almost every girl!

    Maybe the “heart break” wouldnt be so bad if there were queso in the limo! Yum!

    Everything is truly better with queso!

  15. My favorite part of the night (and by favorite, I mean eww.) was Shannon’s pledge to go home and french kiss her puppy. I can imagine that Jason was sitting in his house watching the show last night and went, “Yesssss. Excellent decision to get rid of her. Nice work, self.”

    Because eww.

  16. Oh you crack me up. I can’t believe I am so in to the Bachelor this season.

    I thought my hubby was the only one that thought Nikki looks like Sandra Bullock and Naomi looks like Eva Mendes. He watches too mcuh tv, but other commentors agree. Of course, I think Jillian looks like Amy Grant, so who am I to talk.

    The three I wanted gone are gone, so now I can relax and see if Stephanie and Jason ever find chemistry or if he just really thinks she is a super person and mom and wants himself to like her…. I think she is gone next week.

    Oh well, tune in next week to see how many different girls he can kiss in a week… YUCK. At least that’s beter than french kissing your dog!!

  17. your updates crack me up! i can’t believe Shannon last this long! She is crazy! I think he is down to the best ones. I can’t help but love Stephanie, but I think it will be Molly or Melissa and when is Deanna coming back? that will be the most dramatic one yet!

  18. Signs you might not be getting a rose: The Bachelor dodges your kiss and says, “You’re such a great person.”

    Also, was it my imagination or did he tell the overblinged widow that she has “a heart of gold”? If so, that doesn’t bode well for the future.

    Not that I was watching.

  19. I had to laugh because there are sooo many people blogging about last nights Bachelor, haha!!! I wish I hadn’t of missed it, sounds like it made for some good entertainment.

  20. LOVE the recap! I think Jason did exactly the right thing and chose to keep the right girls! I think this is my favorite season of The Bachelor yet!

  21. I think next week is when DeAnna is going to come back…do you think that is why it will be THE MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVER? I wonder if she’s going to move in to the house with the girls? Is he going to have to boot someone he really likes to let her stay?

    He so should NOT let DeAnna back in. UGH!

    This has to be the best season ever!

  22. Haha! This was too funny! This recap – I totally loved it more than bears :) BooMama – You’re the best!

    Also, I appreciate your comment on the last recap about how Stephanie has never met an accessory she didn’t like. Everytime I see her, it’s the first thing I think about! And it makes me laugh every single time! Besides the insane love of bears, I’m simple like that!

  23. I was sooo glad to see the bossy girl go home!

  24. I love your recaps! Your posts are just as entertaining as the show itself. (And that’s high praise from a Bachelor fan :)

    I agree – I think he’s going to pick Melissa. Or maybe Jillian. I love Stephanie, too, but I don’t think he’s going to pick her.

  25. Your highlights are hilarious! You nailed this episode of the Bachelor to a T!

    What was the deal with Shannon wanting to french kiss her puppy? Cause that’s not gonna fair well with any future dates.

  26. Oh, I’m glad I’m not the only one who is disgusted by Nikki’s sideburns. She’s been getting on my last nerve for the past two weeks!

    And Megan! Finally, she’s gone and now the producers don’t have to bleep out the obscenities that came from her filthy mouth.

    And Shannon. She really freaked me out, and I can’t believe she lasted as long as she did. When she told Jason that she wasn’t going to let him get rid of her, I could tell she was toast! He was mortified! And I must say when she said she was going to go home and french kiss her dog, I dry heaved.

    I hope Naomi is the next one to go. Her mouth is starting to annoy me. Is it an underbite? It’s hard to say.

    I’m rooting for Melissa and Stephanie. Although, I think Stephanie should grow her eyebrows out a bit. She always looks surprised.

    As always, your recap was fabulous and I watched the entire time just KNOWING you would have a ball with this episode!

  27. Love your re-caps! I was so embarrassed for Shannon when she was blowing her nose and the trying to kiss Jason and then he said she had napkin on her mouth! ha! It was so uncomfortable to watch! It was time for her to go.

  28. MOST. AWKWARD. BACHELOR. EPISODE. EVER.

    My cringe meter was on overload last night.

    I think Stephanie has some pagent experience. She slung that ball gown over her arm like a pro,so that she could waltz. She also seems to navigate the serious amount of neuroris in that house like a champ.

  29. I always love your recaps. They make me laugh out loud. haha :)

  30. I enjoy reading your blog following the bachelor! You really know how to re-tell stories of what happened! I couldn’t stand to watch the 2 on 1 date so I switched to see the newest episode of Jon & Kate which I can’t stand how bossy she is! But I lvoe the ending when Megan, Shannon, and Lauren all went home! Thank God maybe now the drama will be gone! I really like Molly and Melissa but I believe with all my heart that Melissa is going to be his wife!

  31. oh, and I completely agree with you on Melissa. Good Chemistry!
    His eyes look different when he’s talking to her than when he’s with some of the other girls.

    Any girl who will be real enough to talk about her breast reduction on national television, I like.

  32. I have a feeling I am about to be ex-communicated from this blog but here goes. I’m excited about Deanna coming back! Girls, you know we’ve all made the mistake and “picked the wrong guy” or something like that before. We all liked her a year ago – what happened?! Remember what good chemistry they had? I’m rooting for her or Jillian – even though I think it might be Melissa. Or Molly. Oh I don’t know…

  33. I watched the Bachelor with my 16 year old daughter last night. I’m so glad that I have got someone to watch this with and laugh. I love your comparison of Nicki to Judy on SNL. Her song was so uncomfortable to watch. I literally had to cover my eyes and plug my ears at the same time. I hurt for her. We thought that we had heard Shannon wrong when she said, “I’m going to go home and get out my electric toothbrush and French kiss my puppy”. HA!!! I want Stephanie to win, but I think that you are right about Melissa.

  34. Erin might be the kindest person I’ve read in a long while – Deanna seems to want her cake (or flake as the case turned out to be) and then get to have the bread and butter also (mixing those metaphors right and left but you can tell I’m hungry!) BooMama you have the best recaps – even my husband wanted to watch this one – he has been wanting Megan to get the boot from day one. Where do the producers find so many truly strange women? Melissa is still my main gal (hey I’m a Texan we root for our own) but Dh and I both think Stephanie may be too mature for him. Hoping that kissing was working for her – she is a precious gal and in Seattle she’d lose a lot of that glitter and accessory thing. Best Bachelor in years – he actually seems to have a clue about what it takes to make a marriage – sexy, funny and kind women are going to do well with him. (watch him do something totally stupid and destructive next week – I’m not a prognosticator of repute).

  35. Boo,

    Are you serioiusly not going to discuss the fact that right now, as I type this, Shannon is french kissing her dogs????

    Melissa

  36. Sophie – here is a link to the lyrics which confirm – that girl HAD to go
    http://www.metrolyrics.com/when-i-grow-up-lyrics-pussycat-dolls.html

  37. Jenny from VA says:

    My heart really hurt for Nikki last night. She is so stunning on the outside (except the side burns) but she is so insecure. I really hope she can get the help she needs. :)
    I LOVE Melissa! I always thought he would go for a dark haired girl. This season is the best! I love the recaps..they are hilarious!

  38. I couldn’t have written this re-cap any better and I LOVEd it!! I am still waiting on Deanna to show up..maybe she will swoop in at the next rose ceremony and take all the roses for herself and tell the ladies that she has changed her mind and she has come to realize that she loves Jason and regreats picking Jesse and then the other women pounce on her etc.. etc.. etc…cat fight etc…. gnashing of teeth.. etc… most exciting rose ceremony yet… the end!

    p.s. I was so happy to see you this past weekend. :)

  39. I love, love, love your recap! I posted a link to it last week from my blog.
    While Steph is a local girl (for me), I do think you are right about Melissa. She seems like she is down to earth…remember her from the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader’s show on CMT? Please don’t stop doing your recap! It is hilarious and I look forward to it after each episode.
    One thing I wanted to point out…
    Megan said everyone should “Man Up” amd stop all of the crying, then she cried like a baby when she left. I will miss her good catch phrases!

  40. YOU deserve that rose for your incredible recap!!! You make want to watch that show…though I feel it would be lacking without your narration!! heehee!

  41. My new appreciation for bears (all bears) is surpassed only by my newfound love for the “Last Channel” button on my remote, which helped me to avoid some of the awkward in this episode. Unfortunately, I did not change channels fast enough to avoid seeing Jason peel napkin off of Shannon’s tongue or to hear Shannon’s disturbing plans for her and her dog.

    One thing that I learned from this episode is that I could never make a living as a matchmaker. If I had my way, Jason would fall in love with the sweet and classy Stephanie, who reminds me of the things I loved about my years in Alabama. I would love to have lunch with her and discuss everything from true love to the concept of “less is more” when it comes to accessories. But alas, it’s clear that Jason can’t keep his hands off of Melissa, who is cute as a button but I just don’t understand the unmistakable chemistry. I never in a million years would have put them together, so that just goes to show you how much I know.

  42. Last night had some hideously, delightfully, awkward moments! I don’t think he’s attracted to Stephanie. I think she is such a sweet girl, and deserves someone who really cares for her. Lauren just made me mad. Seriously–how could she not notice what a turn-off her behavior was? I felt bad for Nikki–girl needs to learn to relax a little…maybe some queso dip would help her?

  43. Melissa has to be the one and hallelujah Shannon is GONE!! Poor Nicky….beautiful girl…..but take a chill pill or something.

  44. You crack me up! I don’t get to watch the show because my husband has been home instead of traveling, so I’m so happy that I get the recap from you!
    Thanks!

  45. I just knew you’d be talkin’ about this today, and I am some delighted. :)

    I just need to tell somebody, Shannon is a hot mess. That child… during all of her oversharing, I swear she darn near forgot Jason’s name because when she did say it, AWKWARD. Poor dear. Hot Mess.

    And can I also just say that as gentlemanly and chivalrous and Jason appears to be (and he does seem to be wise to the ways of women and all their scandalous ways), he is a ho-dog. That dude likes to mug down. And man, I suppose that makes for good TV (questionable), but it’s unfortunate. After all of that kissin’ on other people, I think I’d just let them have him. :)

  46. I so agree that Melissa is the one. If you saw the sneaker that they gave on the first episode about the final rose … you could see their fingernails and they look like Melissa’s fingers. could be wrong but that’s what I think

  47. and one more thing … what is up with Shannon french kissing her dog?

  48. Dernit, every season I swear I’m not going to watch, but once again, I’ve been pulled in. So, yes, I watched last night, and then felt bad when I enjoyed watching Jason “duck and dodge” Megan’s move.

  49. Loved that he sent all three home. He was SO not into any of them. I too think Melissa will win him in the end. And wherever will all the drama come from now that Megan is gone? And who will they bleep? The editors must have tons of time on their hands.

  50. I am so ashamed to say that I went to bed singing “I wanna be famous” What is wrong with me?

    Bless ALL their hearts, I tell ya. Can’t wait for next week and whenever the “Deanna drama” unfolds!

  51. hilarious.

  52. I had to quit watching the Bachelor 3 years ago when I was starting to model my own life after pathetic cat fights, and crying episodes with snot that spanned a 20 minute car ride confessional and girls who seem entirely too desperate for 1 man.

    But oh, how I do miss those rose ceremonies. Hate I missed the most dramatic one to date. Maybe I’ll tune in for the last hour of next week’s show.

    What’s that? It’s only an hour long? Bummer.

  53. Couldn’t watch this show if you paid me, too embarrassed for everyone involved, but sure do love your re caps!

  54. You are one funny gal! Do you find yourself quoting along with Chris at the rose ceremony..”Ladies, Jason, this is the final rose of the evening. Jason, when you’re ready..” And do you think that next week is the most dramatic rose ceremony EVER, just like Brad was the sexiest bachelor EVER?!? Thanks for the smiles!

  55. Great recap! I missed everything up to the rose ceremony due to a training session at the mall (I am now a part time J.Jill associate). Anyhoodle – the best, and craziest line of the night goes to Shannon. FRENCH KISS HER DOG? Wow. That’s a whole new level of crazy. Do ya’ll thin that this season’s craziness tops Trish’s craziness from a few seasons back? I still have the impression in my head of her just being the craziest of them all.

  56. Melanie K says:

    Thank you so much for this terrific recap. Hubby was home but thought I had it covered with DVR, then went to watch episode and it never recorded! ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I SO wanted to see the girls singing! You are a lifesaver though!

  57. Oh sophie – I only caught half of last night’s episode b/c I was out hunting the last bit of amoxil for my little guy
    But I did make it to see the OH SO DRAMATIC Rose Ceremony – whatever

    And Lauren’s song – it totally scared me
    But I loved the looks on the girls faces as she was singing – LOL
    Love seeing you Sunday – you looked adorable and I loved your glasses :)

  58. Perfect recap!!!!
    I am sooo happy those three are gone!!!I agree, Melissa is the one.

  59. This is the first Bachelor series I’ve watched since the original all those years ago. I’m lovin’ these re-caps of yours… and thanks for the link to Chris Harrison’s blog!

  60. That cracks me up! I don’t even watch the show, but loved that. :)

  61. The MOST dramatic rose ceremony EVER! Love this phrase! I’ve got this episode recorded, so I couldn’t read your post — and yet I comment…odd. I just have to say that the Bachelor is like therapy for me. But why oh why does Chris have to tell us — “ladies, Jason, this is the last rose of the night” like we’re too stupid to figure it out….

  62. AND sitting by the tent Jason said her eyes were star gazing amazing. I wonder if he came up with that himself.

  63. LOVED your recap and LOVE reading everyones comments!!! So funny and soooo much truth!

    I don’t know who he’ll end up with but does everyone really think Melissa is that cute? Because I just don’t see it. I think she has a cute body and her personality is down to earth but her teeth are big and I just don’t think that cute…. she isn’t ugly but I don’t know…

    I just don’t see them together.

    I’m super glad Lauren is a gonner.. she was annoying! I felt bad for Nicki but her side burns were embarrassing… I wish she would have worn her hair down more! Shannon is a mess. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to watch these girls watch themselves on tv… that would be great entertainment!!!

    Please keep doing the recaps… sooo funny!!!

  64. Melissa HAS to win! I picked her from the start. But was so addicted to seeing her on the DCC Making the Team……..(that I have all 3 seasons DVR’d) and I dare anyone to delete!

    AND………”In the most dramatic rose ceremony ever”………could we please give Chris a new line? Come on……yes……this one was good……..but that line is getting old!

  65. I am so sorry! I meant to be here last night for your wonderful commentary but darned life got in the way. You can bet your bear loving self I was watching though!

    I have a feeling that there are going to be some ugly moments ahead between Molly and the girls. I don’t know why, I just kept getting this vibe.

    I have always liked Stephanie, but she seems to be slighty stiff for Jason. If she really wanted that kiss so much, she should have just gone for it! It ended up looking very uncomfortable for all involved, Jason, her and us!

    I am going to miss Lauren’s I am so much better than them all speeches. They amused me greatly.

    I liked Shannon a lot but he was right to send her on her way.

    Megan, well that was just obvious to us all. There were so many personalities displayed by her alone that I was getting confused.

    I too am waiting for the MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVER.

    See ya in six days!

  66. I completely missed this episode! Somehow my faithful dvr cursed me. But now I’m getting names all confused in my head…. probably due to the fact I just discovered we are in for day 2 of being off school for weather. :) So, THANK YOU for the recap… And, now off to google to confirm in my mind who Melissa & Jillian are. But, oh how I will NOT MISS THE MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVER!!!! Ahhh, the joy of the tv.

  67. I have been waiting to read your post until I watched the episode – and neither one disappointed. I would like to say that whoever Jason picks is going to have to get ready to see lots and lots of Shannon. I was surprised she gave up so gracefully (besides the whole nastiness of french-kissing her dog!)

    I would also need to respectfully disagree with all those people who say Stephanie is a picture of classiness and Southern grace because did you see what she was wearing when she sang her song? oh and the glitter on the face? poor thing, I feel like she is just trying way to hard to be young and hip and it’s just not quite working for her!

  68. “Personally I think they would’ve had a much better time if they’d hung out at the house in some sweats and watched DVDs of “30 Rock” while they ate queso dip. Then they could have reenacted the “Single Ladies” video if they wanted to cut a rug.” Seriously though!

  69. I love reading everyone’s recap of things… but I have to say – you missed prime opportunity to discuss Shannon picking her nose before trying to kiss him with napkin all over her face…ewwww!!!

  70. I did see the episode and your recap is right on! Absolutely hilarious. And I totally agree that he’ll pick Melissa! Just the way he looks at her – it’s so obvious that he’s way into her. I’m stil chuckling about loving bears – all bears.

  71. Oh how you make me laugh, can you do this every week? I love it!

  72. im watching the bachelor right now and because something has been bugging me since the 2nd episode i had to google and see if maybe someone else feels the same way and boomama came up. naomi’s underbite! it is killing me! she is a really nice girl, its just that protruding chin, i can not get past it. she would be my chose if not for that. definately not stephanie, she seems sooooo desperate. yeah she has a kid but…..ok? she spends sooo much time trying to weed everyone else out the bunch. she needs to go. uh oh! he’s giving out roses…and the loser is (drum roll)!!!????? it’s her! its’ her! she’s gone!!!!