Last week I was catching up on Vicki’s blog, and I saw that she’d issued a bit of a challenge to her readers: 30 days of 30 Day Shred. And for reasons I have yet to fully understand, I immediately thought, “Okay. I’m in.” AND I SIGNED UP FOR IT.
CLEARLY SOME FITNESS-MINDED ALIENS SEIZED CONTROL OF MY MIND.
So I bought the DVD and decided that today would be Day One.
OH MY MERCIFUL HEAVENS.
However, in a delightfully unexpected turn of events, Melanie and I realized today that we both had committed to Vicki’s 30 Day challenge. I cannot overstate the importance of this discovery because HELLO, ACCOUNTABILITY, NICE TO SEE YOU. We also realized that we were both planning to set aside some time to “shred” this afternoon, but we were sort of blase’ about it because the workout only lasts 20 minutes, and how hard could that be, right? I mean, I can do all sorts of things for 20 minutes: I can lift the fried chicken off of my plate and put it into my mouth, I can repeatedly mash the buttons on the TV remote, and I can also send and receive countless text messages while continually sipping an ice cold diet Coke.
You may be picking up on why the aliens seized control of my mind and convinced me to sign up for the challenge in the first place.
So this afternoon, when there was not another living soul in this house, I turned on the DVD and got ready to feel the burn. I even wore my brand new lavender leotard and hot pink leg warmers.
Oh, I kid because there was a time when I really did own a lavender leotard and hot pink leg warmers.
I will spare you all the details of my initial foray into shredding, but suffice to say that within the first five minutes of the workout I was thinking Not Nice Things about Jillian and her perky fitness compadres. It didn’t help that Anita – who was quickly becoming my new BFF since she was in charge of showing us the “modified” moves, aka The Moves For Those Of You Whose Primary Form Of Exercise Has Been Pointing Your Toes While Typing – had abs so defined that I thought at first they must surely be the creation of some subtle airbrushing, only to realize that OH, those abs are totally real, and MY WORD, they are spectacular.
However, I moved past my bitterness, soldiered through the workout (does it tell you something that I was actually relieved when it was time for the ab segments because that meant I got to LIE ON THE FLOOR?), and y’all, when those twenty minutes were over, my leg muscles were so exhausted that my very first thought was I’ll never walk normally again.
Sure enough, I spent the next forty-five minutes trying to figure out how I was going to walk without looking like some straight-from-the-boondocks contestant on America’s Next Top Model who is trying to impress Tyra with what she thinks is a fierce runway walk. The only way I could manage to keep my knees from locking up was to lift my the tops of my legs to a forty-five degree angle with my waist, then sort of kick out my leg until my foot hit the floor, and later, when Melanie and I were laughing until we cried about The Day Jillian Nearly Killed Us, I described my new walk as something along the lines of what you’d expect from a demented clydesdale. In other words: it’s very sexy and now.
So tomorrow Jillian and I will meet again, and I don’t really know what to expect since I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to move my legs at all. However, I have decided that if I am not in fact mobile, then I will track down some sort of beige marker and spend my twenty minutes watching Jillian tell me to WORK HARDER and PUNCH IT OUT while I draw ab muscles on my stomach in an attempt to replicate Anita’s rockin’ six-pack.
Certainly I am climbing to new heights of fitness!
Or at least I will be.
Just as soon as I can, you know, stand up.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:11 am
I hate to tell you, but I was sore for at least 3 days after my first “Shred” experience. Seriously couldn’t get out of the car without making a fool of myself. Best wishes for a speedy recovery! I recommend Aleeve before Day 2:)
April 28th, 2009 at 12:55 am
“I was thinking Not Nice Things about Jillian and her perky fitness compadres”
i seriously cannot read your blog at night when the family sleeps. all the laughing and snorting and such really is going to wake them one of these times.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:09 am
Omigosh, you are scaring me! I have this DVD (part one of my workout will be to get it out of its packaging)and planned to start May 1!! I will be checking your blog to see if you end up in the ER or feel fabulous…
I, too, thought I could do anything for 20 minutes, I mean, I went through 36 friggin’ hours of natural childbirth thankyouverymuch!
April 28th, 2009 at 1:17 am
Oh, the “fried chicken” line. I LOVED it.
I can’t even LOOK at Jillian’s abs without feeling a great deal of hate.
While I was reading to the kids today, they decided to lift up my shirt to see my “Play-Doh.” (Yes. They’ve named my belly fat.) My 2YO quickly decided to beat on my belly like a drum, and the 7YO said, “Mom? Your belly makes a nice hollow sound, thanks to that big DIVET you got going on there with your belly-button.”
Pass that beige marker to me when you’re done. Along with a slice of Humble Pie.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:37 am
Oh my…
Jillian is due to arrive at my house T.O.D.A.Y! And I have to tell you that as I was reading your post and knowing that her ETA is around 1:00 — because that is when UPS drives up in my ‘hood — I was planning all manner of “Home Alone” tactics against my poor unsuspecting “Man in Brown” whom I’ve come to know and love because he is the bearer of all things Amazon…and I’m usually happy to see him…
…but not today!
Dreading the burn,
Dori
April 28th, 2009 at 5:53 am
The biggest problem in doing the 30 Day Shred is Day 2. Because, if your eyelashes aren’t sore on Day 1? Just wait. They will be. Along with your teeth, toenails, and hair. But oh, how it’s worth it. Pounds? I haven’t lost so many of those. Inches? Oh yes, thank you Jesus and Jillian. I am back into clothes that I thought I was going to have to give away. So keep on shredding, BooMama.. it really does work. And some day? You might even be able to walk again.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:10 am
My hubby and I went away for the weekend two days after my initial shred experience.
I was so thankful that we ended up being in a handicap suite because I needed the handle just to sit down and use the bathroom. :)
I also made the mistake the first night of going downstairs to do laundry. And it took me forever to get back up. :)
April 28th, 2009 at 6:25 am
I now look like a racoon, after crying with laughter while I read this. Oh my….I need to get this DVD too. And the beige marker sounds like an excellent idea. And Jolanthe and the handicapped handle nearly finished me off for the rest of the day.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:40 am
Oh yes. Exercise. That’s why I don’t do it. Mind you, I should but I admit that I really hate formal exercise. I run after my kid, I scrub the house. Isn’t that exercise enough?
April 28th, 2009 at 6:51 am
Day 2 was easier – I knew what to expect and got through more of it than Day 1. Day 1, Jillian killed me as well.
Yesterday was my Day 3 – and it was harder than day 2 for me – maybe the beauty has worn off…and my legs still hurt.
Day 4 today – hoping it is EASY – not!
April 28th, 2009 at 6:57 am
It gets easier! I promise! Maybe not Day 2 or 3…but it does get easier.
It might be killer, but it is amazing how great of a workout it is all packaged up in 20 minutes!
April 28th, 2009 at 6:57 am
I feel for you I truly do. I watch the biggest loser and Jillian really pushes them so hard. You should have known that the DVD would be rentless. You paint such a wonderful word picture. Thank you. You are so gifted by Him. So thankful that you are letting Him use you in so many ways. Blessings on your day as you “meet” with Jillian.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:01 am
Oh my goodness, I think I got MY workout from laughing at your post! I’ve heard about that video and am not brave enough to try it myself…! Best of luck with the 30-day challenge. My husband and I are doing a weight-loss challenge as well, so I feel your pain…
April 28th, 2009 at 7:03 am
I bought the Shred yesterday and shall begin the soreness to end all soreness on Wednesday. Love to read your experience to get me excited….or freaked out. Whichever…:)
April 28th, 2009 at 7:08 am
This brought me out of Lurkdom. I hope you can walk tomorrow. I doubt you will…..
April 28th, 2009 at 7:21 am
I started shredding last week and couldn’t get through day 2 until day 3, then I took the weekend off so I could actually make it to church without needing the wheelchair ramp. Back at it this week with a flicker of hope in my heart that it has to get easier.
I was right there with you and sighed audibly when we got to abs and could lie down on the floor for what Jillian affectionately calls the “recover” period of the work out. I needed to recover and think I may still be doing so.
Keep it up, Sophie. It IS good to know we can encourage each other this way and know that others are “feelin’ the burn” right along with us.
Praying for your sweet self today! It WILL get better. Maybe that could be our mantra.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:36 am
HILARIOUS! I can just see the “demented Clydesdale” walk, and imagine the sound that your feet make when they land! Thanks for sharing!
April 28th, 2009 at 7:40 am
I so almost bought that! so, would you say you recommend it? do I need to buy equipment too? I’ve often wished Jillian would come to my house and order me off the couch so maybe this is the closest I’ll get. Hmmmmm…maybe I should buy it, eh?
April 28th, 2009 at 7:45 am
OH MY GOODNESS. You crack me up! Sorry you are in pain, by the way. Truth is I have an 8month old baby, and have been avoiding all forms of exercise, with the excuse that it may interfere with my milk supply. I think it’s time.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Pleeeeezzeeee…pretty please tell me that I’m not the only one who couldn’t make it thru every singe movement? Please tell me others HAD to stop…to you know…remember that their lungs require air…PLEASE…
April 28th, 2009 at 7:59 am
Oh my! At least you DID it…my bff and I have bought workout videos, dressed up, moved furniture then watched them from the couch while debating whether or not we really wanted to do it…usually that was the extent of our dedication. The times I HAVE done those crazy things, I’ve found the worst part…um…not to be indelicate, but…getting up and down from the potty. Something about the muscles you use at about the halfway-down-to-the-seat mark…I don’t know, they just give way and I end up plopping. So pleasant. Anyway, maybe I’ll get the shred so I can attempt to be a svelte mother of the bride by June 13. Or maybe I’ll sit on the couch and shop the internets for an a-line dress…
April 28th, 2009 at 8:03 am
you crack me up! I took the challenge too. I feel your pain! after I finished the first work out, I couldn’t carry my son to bed. my legs were literally giving way under me!!! anyway, keep goin girlfriend! I finished day 5 (gave myself a day off in between each workout) and I am not as sore and feel much stronger!
April 28th, 2009 at 8:05 am
Oh my word!! I totally understand! I bought it too, and blogged about it, and just did a give away and the lucky winner won this dvd. It’s crazy hard!! I’m so excited that someone else is feeling the pain too!
April 28th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Hmm- that’s really weird because I got the video a couple of weeks ago and I’m not sore at all… Of course, it’s still nicely wrapped in the cellophane wrapper waiting for me to commit to it. Maybe I’ll wait a couple more days.
Hint – BATHTUB -that’s how I survive all my exercises maladies
April 28th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Oh, BooMama, I’m feeling your pain, literally! B/c yesterday?? It was my Day One, too! I can not begin to tell you all the manner of pain I’m feeling right now! And I’m exhausted to boot, b/c I was in so much pain, Tylenol PM wasn’t enough to knock me and it out at the same time. I can tell you I have no idea how I’m going to even attempt to do it again today. But I will somehow.
Best wishes to you. :)
April 28th, 2009 at 8:10 am
I’m so sorry BooMama, but hopefully it will get better. I’m going to shred by chasing a toddler today, does that count?
April 28th, 2009 at 8:11 am
“Are you feeling it, buddy?”
I have never in my life praised the Lord for abdominal exercises until this experience.
Good news: You will be able to walk again by Day 5. (:
April 28th, 2009 at 8:13 am
p.s. The title of this post makes me lit’rally LOL.
April 28th, 2009 at 8:17 am
I heard the term shred and saw the cover to the DVD that everyone is talking about and walked right past it. I don’t know that I can handle the pain. I had enough of that when I was in labor with my two kids!
Good for you, Boomama that you’re sticking with it. You just go show Jillian you’re determined to succeed!! I’d even send her a letter when you’ve finished your last workout session!
April 28th, 2009 at 8:30 am
I’m impressed!
Does reading the blog count as a workout? Through osmosis (sp?)?
April 28th, 2009 at 8:30 am
I can so relate to this post! I just finished day 5 of the 30-day shred this morning and I am still a quivering mess :)
But it is so fun to know we are all in it together. Keep us posted on your progress!
Julie
April 28th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Hysterical…..but TRUE! Makes me feel better that someone else is feeling like me on the mission! I shake for a good
hour after the workout. Maybe that’s why
you are supposed to lose so much?? Loved
Jolanthe and the handicap rail….EXACTLY
what you wish you had!!
April 28th, 2009 at 8:44 am
I think the word “shred” is the first clue that it is NOT going to be fun.
I don’t envy you.
I love watching Jillian torture others from my couch, but not so much wanting to be one of them.
April 28th, 2009 at 8:45 am
That title is fantastic! Totally made me crack up [smile].
~Luke
April 28th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Good for you, Boomama. Keep with it. If you don’t, you may have to start Irish dancing. Great for the abs too.
April 28th, 2009 at 8:52 am
First of all, SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Started the p90x 10 minute workouts myself last week — doing 2 in a row– couldn’t sit on the toilet for the next 2 days without wincing! We’ll lose it together! Love you!
April 28th, 2009 at 8:58 am
I’ve done this workout b/c we have Fitness On Demand through digital cable, and when you have hundreds of channels, all the cool kids go straight to Fitness On Demand, right? Nope, just the nonfit-but-too-afraid-to-go-walking-after-dark-but-that’s-the-only-time-I-have-to-workout ones.
It is NOT easy. And that’s coming from someone who hasn’t done it in awhile, so the endorphins that make you forget the crazy pain so you’ll workout again one day have apparently done their job well. Maybe I’ll join in the 30-day challenge, too!
April 28th, 2009 at 8:59 am
I have the exact same reaction when it comes time for the ab work, “Thank goodness I can rest a second here.”
And your first foray into Shred-land was much better than mine. My dog was totally freaked out over the fact that I was MOVING and refused to let me continue. She barked every time I did a jumping jack and then proceeded to lie on top of me while I was doing the ab work. I gave up after about 12 minutes and just watched the rest of it.
That totally counts, right?
April 28th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Oh, great – I started this very DVD Friday. Not that I’m happy you’re sore – no, indeed – but I am happy that I’m in good company.
I was quite sore Saturday morning and Sunday. Today is my third day at it. At which point does one move up to Level 2?? I’m kind of afraid.
Please keep the 30 day shred updates coming!
April 28th, 2009 at 9:08 am
In a fit of hopeful optimism, I too bought the DVD after reading Vicky’s post. I haven’t started it because I’ve been afraid of, well, the pain. I’m starting to rethink this whole work-out thing…
Xandra
April 28th, 2009 at 9:28 am
I purchased some workout videos from Lifeway on New Year’s Eve. They were on sale for $5!! Who could pass up such a great buy? Now, I suppose I should really take them out of the package…
April 28th, 2009 at 9:31 am
I have the 30 Day Shred DVD also. I got it a couple of months ago when a coworker recommended it to me. Ha! The first time I did it I thought I was going to pass out. Then my husband tried to do Level 1 with me and decided that he hated Jillian before it was even over :) It does get easier over time, so hang in there. Way to go for signing up for the challenge! I am looking forward to hearing more from you and Melanie.
April 28th, 2009 at 9:38 am
I’m thinking about just not getting on this train. Ba-Bye!
The only thing I like to shred is CHEESE and I’m ok with that…
And this–”does it tell you something that I was actually relieved when it was time for the ab segments because that meant I got to LIE ON THE FLOOR?”–is hilarious!!
Love you!
April 28th, 2009 at 9:54 am
I am laughing so hard! My legs hurt sooo bad for days after my 1st meeting with Jillian. Can’t wait to hear how day 2 goes!
April 28th, 2009 at 9:57 am
I love this. My sister and I debated about getting the Biggest Loser DVD that all of the instructors or the 30 day shred.
As it turns out, luckily, we chose the one with all three instructors.
Our decision makin process was very scientific…..it included narrowing down the fact that we were scared of Jillian and that Kim(?- I think that is her name) was actually having a bad hair day on the cover and THAT was something we could relate to.
Wish us luck!
April 28th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Apparently I should proof read. “that HAD all of the instructors”…
and
decision making, not makin. (Although we probably actually pronounce like the latter)
April 28th, 2009 at 10:03 am
OH!~ I meant to mention that I have enjoyed our Wii fit quite a bit. It’s really bad when you begin to box and your husband says, “Looks like you’re enjoying that way too much.” And the truth is that I am.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:09 am
OH MY HEAVENS, she makes you sore in places you didn’t even know you had muscle.
The soreness is intense for the first three days or so, but after that, it’s really not too bad. Then you bump up to Level 2 and you want to die all over again.
I laughed out loud about the being relieved to get to the ab section. YES! Totally.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:14 am
My day 8 was today and I’m trying not to be mad at you for making me laugh so hard. My abs (that you can’t see yet for the still there flab) are revolting against me and that mean ole Jillian.
Hang in there. You’ll still hate her 7 days from now.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:26 am
I ordered my DVD after I read that Annieblogs had signed up for Vicky’s challenge. Mine should be here today. I think Vicky had even said she was doing it just 3 days a week. So maybe that’s what I’ll have to do is day 1, then skip a day to lie completely still, and then attempt day 2 the following day. It’s my plan at this point. I’ve worked out before where it’s difficult to maneuver up and down from the commode and that ain’t fun!! I have a feeling that’s where I’m headed again! Continue to keep us posted!