At breakfast a few days ago my friend Paige and I were having a mighty deep conversation over scrambled eggs and these little sausage stick thingies that were ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS, and somehow we got on the subject of our friend Angela’s house.
Because here’s the thing about Angela’s house, and I am not exaggerating: it is a SANCTUARY. As soon as you walk through the front door, you want to take off your shoes and curl up in a chair and drink something warm and pour out your heart. There’s always music playing. There’s always something good to eat. There’s always honest, wide open conversation. And there’s always a very big God at the center of it all.
Seriously. There is so much Light in that house that darkness doesn’t stand a chance.
I’ve been thinking a lot over the last few days (listen. I don’t know what it is, but “reflective” doesn’t even begin to do justice to my current state of mind, and that is a problem because quite frankly IT IS INTERFERING WITH MY TV-WATCHING SCHEDULE) about how much I treasure the peace in our home. Granted, I know better than anyone that I am a solid gold goofball who can be a smidge difficult to live with what with all my overcommitting and procrastinating and not-folding-the-laundrying. But even still, when I’m at home I am so grateful for the freedom to be myself, for the blessing of laughing and singing whenever I please, for the fact that I am never more at ease than when I’m with my people. And lately I’ve been thinking about some inexpensive, personal touches I want to add here and there so that our house feels like home to whoever happens to visit.
And by the way, is anyone wondering if an alien has abducted the person who normally posts on this blog and replaced her someone who doesn’t know that she’s supposed to be writing about fried chicken, reality television and SEC football? I won’t blame you if you think that. Really.
Because do y’all know what I did this afternoon? I WENT TO HOBBY LOBBY. AND BOUGHT CRAFT SUPPLIES.
VOLUNTARILY.
So all that to say: I’m curious. What are some specific things you do to make your home a haven for the people who live and/or visit there?
I can’t wait to read your ideas!
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I’ve enjoyed reading these comments!
I live in a third world country and have often felt frustrated by my lack of resource as far as home/sanctuary making goes.
Sometimes, it (sanctuary making) has felt impossible.
But, there is always this. Prayer. So many times, in the prep for dinner or overnight guests, praying in and over our home has had the most dramatic effects. Our homes need His Spirit. His presence makes all our other efforts (which are great and God honoring too!) flourish into something more than even we can imagine. Blessings to all of you. Won’t it be so wonderful to finally meet up someday in the Home He has prepared for us!
Goodness…loved this post as I do so many of yours, BooMama.
I have always had a deep, deep need to make the places I’ve lived in ‘cozy’, which is the word most people use after spending five minutes in my house. Always wanted my place to welcome anyone that bothered to stop by and help them ‘take a load off’ while here. And I always wanted it to be an oasis for myself and my family. Folks seem to enjoy coming over, and as I was thinking about stuff I do over and over, here’s what I came up with:
-warm toned, coordinating paints in all rooms that are viewable to each other; right now my kitchen is an olive green, LR has a brick red accent wall, and then all other walls/rooms on the main floor are a toasted wheat color, except the bathroom, which is a deep blue. BTW, Behr paint from Home Depot completely rocks my world
-pillows…have gone wildly overboard here at times and had to scale back…I have however pledged my unwavering devotion to them for eternity
-candles, mostly Glade apple cinnamon or vanilla in cooler months and then Glade ‘angel whispers’ in warmer months…I burn them endlessly, so they have to be cheap!
-’smooth’ music on, usually Over the Rhine, jazz, Norah Jones or the like
-soft, yummy blankets on couches/chairs
-lots of baskets for everything from the cubs’ toys (wicker trunk that doubles as a coffee table in the LR), to library books to towels to guest toiletries in the second bathroom
-comfortable, multi-use, cozy furniture
-don’t like clutter, but also don’t have many big bare spaces on walls or surfaces
-always keep an eye out for the stuff Target knocks off of Pottery Barn since a) Mama doesn’t have a PB budget and b) PB stuff is always on a luxury villa scale and we have a small, old cottagey house…Target stuff always fits way better and looks just as good
-hot tea, chocolate and coffee are always on the ready for playdates or a good, long girl talk
-coordination and symmetry are my crutches. Have to remind myself frequently to not be too matchy matchy, but I’m in MAD, PASSIONATE LOVE with coordinating decor
-totally not crafty, though I will always desperately wish to be, but I’ve got tons of little details that I suppose are my way to pretend I’m crafty…ornaments on doorknobs & pulls, quotey plaques in a few places, pictures of loved ones in pretty frames in lots of places
-lots of favorite, old books in window sills, in small bookcases and above the fireplace
-oh yeah, everyone thinks I’m a great maid, but truth is, I just clean the stuff they’ll obviously notice. No aliens living in the toilets, vacuum the rugs, dishes in the dishwasher and a quick dust of extremely obvious surfaces in 5 minutes or less if I know someone is coming. Martha Stewart would faint if she had any idea of the atrocities that exist that I so totally don’t care about. My motto: You can draw pictures in the dust – just don’t date ‘em.
-used to fix these elaborate, ridiculous Bon Appetit meals for guests when we were first married and I discovered I actually liked to cook, but with 2 kids, who can do that and not be bitter by the time guests arrive? Now, I fix simple, savory roasts in crockpots (or Hubs will grill the meat in the summer), roast veggies with herbs, fresh garlic, salt and EVOO in the oven, throw together a simple baby spinach salad and have guests bring their favorite dessert or wine.
-it all boils down to: candles + conversation + coffee = bliss to me!
Cara @ 11:21am – I am so right there with you though! I’m not even in school and I still could have posted the same comments. I think many times I de-stress by way of decorating. So, when my kids are normal kids (all the time unless I’ve been hollering at them too much) it throws me into dark places too, too often, I’m sorry to say. Hubs is pretty good about sometimes reminding me to relax when I get too close to the OCD edge. It’s a hard season trying to balance appreciating your small children and a desperate need for quiet, serenity, and tidyness. I try to get up 30 minutes before the cubs usually get up and have my coffee while I read and pray, but so many mornings it’s hard to even gather my thoughts together. God is patient with us though!
Wow…lotsa words. Thanks again…I’m so enjoying reading the other comments. Wish I could have everyone over tomorrow!
I love that you said there was so much light in that house that darkness couldn’t stand a chance. I want that house. And, I’m afraid its lacking right now. Bleh.
Ok,going to read through these fabulous answers.
Blessings~
Fran
Before we built our house 12 years ago I was gathering ideas for decorating. In one of the magazines I was looking at it said to decorate your house with what you LOVE not what is in style or trendy at the time. If you love how your house feels I think other people feel that too.
I have a dear friend who loves to come to my house and her house is exquisitely professionally decorated. It helps, of course, that I have a fireplace and she does not.
I heard my teenage daughter tell someone that she only loved the scents of candles that I use at home. I think it was more about the “home” than the “scent”.
I love reading all of these ideas!!!
Years ago, when I first married and we moved into our first home, I had a neighbor named Susan. Susan had 3 small kids and a busy house. Her house was always a wreck, kids were always screaming and you would have thought no peace could be found there. But, Susan had the gift of hospitality. I was drawn to her house at least 3-4 times a week. I never had to call first, she always loved when I dropped by, and she always had a smile on her face. She never made excuses for her messy house. She would always invite me in and she would take me pass the clutter to her “sanctuary”, the kitchen. You could tell that woman did some worshipping in that kitchen. She always had a Bible and a recipe book open on the counter. She had a comfortable stool pulled right up to the counter so I could chat while she cooked some of the best, most heart warming food I had ever had. She always had a pot of coffee on, or she would fix me a cup of hot tea or a cool glass of some kind of fancy flavored tea. Her kids would be running in and out, but she always made time for me. She made me feel welcomed and loved. It was just what this new bride needed. She was a mentor and a friend. We’ve long since moved away from each other, but her gift of hospitality and warmth has always stuck with me.
So I live by this motto – “If you’ve come to see me, you’ll get my house how you find it. But, if you’ve come to see my house, call first and I’ll pick up.” I think it’s important to make every guest feel important and special, no matter the condition of your home. It’s the sweet aroma of Christ that will turn your home into a sanctuary.
Thanks BooMama! I enjoyed remembering my dear friend Susan this morning. Now, I need to go light some candles and get my Christmas music on.
Lara
Man, I’m still learning. Right now I’m right in the middle of a HUGE, VAST, OVERWHELMING decluttering project. Because one reason I enjoy traveling and staying in hotel rooms is because there’s not a lot of stuff lying around. You know? So I’m trying to pare it all down to the bare minimum. (I’m trying.) I’m looking for a little peace in having a little less…
Crocheted afghans! …it’s all I can do. But I love to snuggle in them, and anyone coming over knows that they can grab one for warming up in our terribly drafty house.
Plants, but only if you’ll take care of them (or at least get nice-looking artificial ones)
Aromas (usually accomplished with candles, but can also be oils, potpourri, etc.) that you like, and which are subtle… but no more than one aroma in the house at a time, if possible
Some sense of fung shui… when you stand at an open door, your left, right, and forward areas should be unimpeded by furniture allowing for easy access. If one of those areas has a wall, put up a mirror or picture whose image pulls you in. These give the appearance of more depth on the wall.
Don’t turn the TV on for at least five minutes after you walk in the door. If you want it on after that, go for it. If not, enjoy some music, conversation, or silence.
I suspect you’re pretty good at the hospitality, which is the most important part of all, especially if you do more listening than talking. :)
All those who keep paperwork out of sight…WHERE does it go? My options outside the “public” areas are my bedroom, my kids’ bedrooms (NO), or a guest room we never, ever enter and where I will forget it’s all there. Ideas? Anyone?
We live in Alaska so it’s all about light and warmth in the wintertime.
I like to have uncluttered and snow-free access to the front door and I turn on the outdoor lights if it’s dark and I know someone is coming.
Clear out space in the coat closet and have extra hangers right there so it’s easier and faster to hang their outside gear.
Call people by their first name within the first 10 seconds of their arrival.
Cut down on clutter. Stock up on hugs, good coffee, conversation and prayer. Give kids their own place to play.
Good post! Thanks.
Karen Mains has said that we get our idea of what hospitality is from the slick pages of women’s magazines rather than from Scripture. So, I guess that at least part of the issue is found in focusing on biblical hospitality. It isn’t really about stuff and atmosphere and the things that may help us welcome others and make them comfortable. We could have and do all of that and still not build a sanctuary. Isn’t it, rather, about the heart? And it is expressed differently from one home to another – and especially from one people and culture to another. It isn’t about showing who I am, but caring about who you are. It’s about living out the welcome of the gospel – the whosoever will, come-as-you-are kind of welcome. It’s about letting others see us as we really are without the need to make a good impression. There’s freedom in biblical hospitality, both for ourselves and for others, giving them a place to be who they really are. It’s humility and honesty and making home a safe place, first for our families, then for others. That’s what sanctuary represents, isn’t it? – a safe place, a refuge? Isn’t it just a place where people feel loved and accepted?
And I loved the comment about “the sanctuary that is my heart.” It IS about our hearts, isn’t it? And it isn’t always easy.
I’m so glad you wrote this.
We are soon (Lord willing) going to buy our first home and I can’t wait to turn it into a sanctuary. And then invite others in and bless them and hope that they eat and melt and eat and talk and eat some more…
No TV is a definite welcome feeling. Quite a few of my loved ones have the TV blaring as a form of entertainment when guests visit. This is miserable for me, especially when the news comes on. :) I’ve thought of things that made me feel comfortable on vacations and tried to re-create them in the types of furniture and fabrics and whavever felt so good about the object. I do agree-the most important thing is to truly make the person feel welcome by being at ease, making eye contact, enjoying whatever your guest enjoys. If she likes quiet, take a lull to quietly sip tea with soft music playing. If she likes noise, get out a laughter-inducing game and play or just listen to her latest antics. Take time to enjoy what you love about that person and be yourself in the way that is most comfortable for your guest.
Someone asked where to put paper messes. If you can, designate a drawer for the papers that need to be put away later. You could also keep a binder with folders right on a bookshelf, and stick papers in there by category. File folders are great if you have them. A very simple organized idea is having a big manilla envelope for categories such as Bills, Paid, Misc. You can tuck them into a drawer, a box, slip them into a spot on a shelf.
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