Sometimes I Wake Up Cradling A Gourd

by BooMama on 7 March 2010

in TV Is My Friend

So I know I’m tardy to last week’s Office party (hey! that was another Teal Mousefives reference for those of you playing at home), but my lateness has done nothing to dampen my enthusiasm.

And as always, I’m hoping for an extra dose of ‘Nard Dog in this week’s episode. Andy makes everything better. Especially a cappella singing.

1. “Hey there. Dwight Schrute here. Listen. Uh, would you be interested in restocking on paper? My cousin came down with a case of that nasty new goat fungus.”

2. “Now I’m halfway through the Twilight cookbook. Last night I had Edward’s Cornflake Chicken.”

3. “Pregnant Pam and I, we get hungry at the same times, so we’ve been eating together a lot. Not all meals. Just second breakfast, lunch, second lunch and first dinner.”

4. “I do not plan on helping unless it’s a boy.” // “I cannot wait for that joke to be over.”

5. “Don’t get revenge on me, nerd.”

6. “Bear my child. I want to have a child for business reasons and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything.”

7. “Word of advice, speaking as a former baby.”

8. “I’m sort of a master of distraction. When I was little, my mom always received compliments from teachers about how I was able to distract others in class.”

9. “I can do the ‘Evolution of Dance’ dance.”

10. “Item 1: Child will be breastfed by the mother for exactly six months then weaned onto a nutrient-rich winter vegetable mash provided by the father, Dwight Schrute, hereafter referred to as Morpheus. Agreed?” // “Agreed.”

11. Meredith: “I have a shirt like that in my car.”

12. “I’m not crazy. She’s crazy. 5-7 minutes. 5-7 minutes. 6 minutes. Different. But not really.”

13. “We’re having a little girl.”

14. “Our Ultra Feast menu theme: Hollywood.”

15. “Are you kidding?” “Are you kidding?” “You can do this.” “You can do this.”

16. “Let’s check how dilated she is. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.”

17. Dwight in that TransAm – ohmyword it made me howl. And when he thew the sword out the window? Delightful.

18. “I’ve gotta go wash my eyes.”

19. “Love you. As a friend.”

20. “I searched everywhere, but I didn’t find it. What I did find was mold. And lots of it. So I did what anyone would do: I read a book, had a bath, got a good night’s sleep and made plans to eradicate it. I also made plans to ask Jim where he bought his marvelous sheets. Time to get to work.”

21. Meredith: “Like Clooney.”

22. “Oh good. You know everything.”

23. “Say nothing. You will learn to love me.”

24. “Read the fax. I’m asking you out.”

25. “I couldn’t find your iPod.”

Okay. So maybe not so much with the Andy. But it was a Dwight Showcase, and for that I am deeply grateful.

Plus: a sweet baby girl. It was an embarrassment of Office riches.

What did y’all think?

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{ 37 comments }

Malinda March 7, 2010 at 4:44 pm

I wonder how weird it is that I knew EXACTLY what this post was about just by seeing the title? I too, loved all the action from Dwight this week. Oh, and Pam nursing someone else’s child.

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Linda March 7, 2010 at 4:52 pm

It was great! I’m just now catching up on the past seasons of shows that I have missed. But they are usually all good for a hardy good laugh. Don’t we all need that?

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Kim March 7, 2010 at 4:59 pm

Fabulous. I may or may not have teared up when Pam let it slip they’re having a girl.

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Katherine @ Grass Stains March 7, 2010 at 5:08 pm

I thought it was good, but not great. I thought Pam was written a little out of character (my sister thought so, too). I loved all of the lines you mentioned, but I thought overall Pam just should have hoofed it to the hospital faster — and that The Pam I Know would have done that! ;)

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Ellen March 7, 2010 at 5:10 pm

Speaking as a former baby! I am just WAITING to use that line on someone. HEE larious. And I’m still laughing about Pam nursing the wrong baby. Oh, it just brought back so many labor/delivery memories…not that I ever nursed the wrong baby…I think.
(Oh, new commenter, found your blog a few months ago. So funny!)

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Randall March 7, 2010 at 5:16 pm

I loved it, laughed hard and enjoyed the whole mess (and the sweet stuff too!).

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Erin March 7, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Seriously!? You didn’t mention the “OMG, this isn’t our baby!” line?

We laughed for several minutes – literally – at that one.

An excellent episode in my opinion.

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Amanda March 7, 2010 at 5:45 pm

This episode stressed me out! I was getting so mad at Pam for not going to the hospital. It also nearly brought me to tears that I’m all done nursing. Not that I want to do that again. Being a woman is weird!

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Amy March 7, 2010 at 5:54 pm

I watched it for the 3rd time this afternoon and still laughed hysterically all the way through. Dwight = perfection.

“What if it’s a girl?” “Irrelevant question”.

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Tammy Marcelain March 7, 2010 at 6:14 pm

I loved this episode too, and I am with Erin, you didn’t mention the “this isn’t our baby!” I watched the episode again just to laugh at that one more time.

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BooMama March 7, 2010 at 6:19 pm

I thought “this isn’t our baby” was on my list – but I guess I missed it. Regardless: CLASSIC.

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carolyn March 7, 2010 at 6:38 pm

I howled through the whole episode!! I loved that Dwight wanted the name Worf to be considered for the baby!

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Nancy March 7, 2010 at 7:12 pm

I laughed so hard I cried when Dwight was throwing the weapons out of his car window!

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Leah March 7, 2010 at 7:31 pm

My favorite lines of the show:
Should I bring a dictionary to the hospital?
No, the hospital provides the dictionaries, bring a thesaurus.

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Melanie March 7, 2010 at 7:40 pm

HIlarious.
the epitome of all the Office stands for.

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Kelly March 7, 2010 at 8:01 pm

It was by far one of my fav episodes ever, very close to when Michael grilled his foot on the George Foreman! And I agree Dwight owned that episode, the throwing the sword out the window was the funniest thing I’ve seen.

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Holly @ Crownlaiddown March 7, 2010 at 9:49 pm

It was awkwardly delightful. We laughed and felt like our favorite parts of The Office were back in full form. We loved the trans am and sword, the washing my eyes out and the male lactaction nurse…ewww! The expressions on Jim’s face were priceless.

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k&c's mom March 7, 2010 at 10:05 pm

You know, I thought I’d miss the old Pam and Jim thing when they weren’t even dating yet…loved those shows…but oh-my-goodness! Loving the baby girl plotline. (And glad Dwight and Angela are circling each other again!)

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kristy March 7, 2010 at 10:10 pm

YES! This was the funniest episode! I laughed and laughed about all the things Dwight was doing, and knew that sending him after the ipod would not turn out well.

The lactation consultant? Oh my word… when she told Jim no, because it would be weird? So he says, “Ok, I’ll go get the other guy.” I almost couldn’t breathe!!! HILARIOUS!

I love that you do these recaps, because usually I read them at work and get to have a little giggle during the day remembering all the Office goodness. :)

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Amber Petal March 7, 2010 at 10:21 pm

I loved it too… Dwight in the Trans Am = Crackin’ me up!

That awful nurse was, well, awful! Maybe because I actually am a well baby nursery nurse who actually likes taking care of mamas and babies… It was pretty funny though!

Thanks for giving me a case of the giggles, just sitting here thinking about how funny it was… I think I’ll hop on over to Hulu and enjoy it again:)

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Kritter Krit March 7, 2010 at 11:33 pm

“You want to eat cat food with Kevin and not go to the hospital?”

“That’s Fancy Feast. Ultra Feast is something they made up together so they could pig-out in the name of ceremony.”

Aaaaaand the male lactation nurse. Oh, my. Poor Jim and his expressions. :-D

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The Lumberjack's Wife March 7, 2010 at 11:50 pm

Ok, I love the Office, so I loved this post!

I loved all the nursing parts because, honestly, I hated nursing. I did it, but loathed it. The guy lactation consultant-oh I would die! I loved Jim in this episode. :)

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Julie March 8, 2010 at 12:38 am

“wrong baby” “wrong baby” “wrong baby”
I loved all of your lines. Dwight was a hoot. And Jim and Pam. Well, they were back with all their love. I love The Office!

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Mary Craig March 8, 2010 at 7:25 am

I almost don’t want to admit it, but I did not see it. I know…am I the only person?

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shayne March 8, 2010 at 8:04 am

My kids and I rolled all OVER the floor laughing when Pam realized she’d breastfed the wrong baby.

It was an episode of pure fantastic. That’s all I can say.

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Double Wide Mom March 8, 2010 at 8:31 am

Confession: I was trying to make out your blog on the big screen at the Beloved Retreat! I LOVE the office, missed the episode, L…L…Love Dwight quotes!! Your testimony was inspiring and I hate that I didn’t get to meet you personally.Have a great Monday!

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Becky March 8, 2010 at 8:37 am

So when Dwight was “escorting” Jim & Pam and the police pulled him over, did you hear them say “Dwight, pull over. You can’t impersonate an officer!” LOL!

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Jill March 8, 2010 at 9:33 am

Some of my favorites were….
“Bear my child. I want to have a child for business reasons and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything.”
“Word of advice, speaking as a former baby.”
Meredith: “I have a shirt like that in my car.”
So, SO funny!!

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Aubrey March 8, 2010 at 10:43 am

So I loved this episode – I’m just a few weeks away from having my own baby, so I thought it was especially appropriate. The best quote, in my mind, was when Michael was packing his “go bag” and says:
“Should I bring the dictionary?”

Oscar: “no, the hospital will provide a dictionary. Bring the thesaurus.”

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Eileen March 8, 2010 at 11:05 am

What about Kevin’s advice for the opposite of eating spicy food to induce labor? I laughed the hardest at that! (not sure what that says about me LOL)

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Samantha March 8, 2010 at 11:38 am

I don’t know that Michael Scott has ever been more obnoxious than in this episode…

“Wish me luck!”

Oh, Michael…It was almost too painful to watch!

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jillie March 8, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Oh my goodness, I’m relatively new to the Office, and I have to say, I laughed until I cried during these episodes! Unfortunately, I was watching on Hulu at work, so I had to hold it in, which only made it worse :))) Clark the lactation consultant almost got me fired! It totally would have been worth it, though…

For those who missed them, check the episodes out on ABC or Hulu – you won’t regret it.

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Kristi from NC March 8, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Yeah!!! You finally watched it :). I loved all of your lines…also, everyone helping Pam do the opposite to prevent labor! Also, when she told the nurse (after nursing the wrong baby), “I don’t get it, that other baby latched on fine.” Oh, that was hilarious!! My husband loved it, also. I totally get Pam waiting to go to the hospital. Of course I am a woman who may or may not have almost not made it in time to have my 2nd child AND also may or may not have not made it in time to have our 5th child!!! My husband totally related to the craziness :).

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Tracie March 9, 2010 at 11:18 am

As always you did a great job of picking out the best lines! I loved this episode so much….it is a classic! My husband was freaking out so much at the lactation consultant which just made it so much more funny for me!

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Tracey March 9, 2010 at 3:11 pm

And we can’t forget “Wrong baby!”

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Rutheee March 11, 2010 at 1:44 pm

I like how we’ll have Dwight at Jim and Pam’s house doing “renovations” to temper the sweet new baby stuff. Genius!

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Rutheee March 12, 2010 at 2:18 pm

This week’s show was okay but 30 Rock rocked. Rhubarb rhubarb golf prostate!

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