The little man and I are spending a few days in Memphis so that he can hang out with his cousins and I can try new and exciting cream cheese-related recipes with my sister-in-law. That’s what you call a win-win.
Monday night Janie and I were tickled that we were going to get to watch The Bachelorette together, and after the kids had eaten supper and headed back upstairs to play, we settled in for The Most Dramatic Two-Hour Extravaganza of Amazing Connections Ever. However, for reasons I have yet to understand, my brother decided to sit down and watch the show with us, and let me just say with some degree of certainty that NOTHING CAN WRECK YOUR BACHELORETTE VIEWING LIKE A MAN WITH SOME QUESTIONS.
Oh sweet mercy.
Because if you’re going to ask me to logically explain and lo, even defend the actions of the people on The Bachelorette, I have some news for you:
THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE.
You just have to roll with the reality television punches. Employ the willing suspension of disbelief. Realize that LOGIC HAS NO PLACE IN THE BACHELORETTE PROCEEDINGS.
And besides, in the end Ali wound up with the best two guys, though clearly – CLEARLY – Chris L. is the one she should pick. Because his family? And that bracelet? And the laughing? And the sincerity? And the absence of smooth talking and fancy words? He just seems like real life to me.
Anyway.
Yesterday we went to eat lunch at Corky’s (I’m convinced that God makes their barbecue sauce) and then took the kids to see a movie. Now, I typically try to talk about stuff that I like way more than stuff that I dislike, but I feel like it’s in the interest of public service for me to say that if you’re thinking of going to see a movie that rhymes with The Past Bearsender? You might want to re-think that decision.
Because IN MY OPINION, it was terrible. It was endless. And even my eternally optimistic child walked out of the theatre and said, “THAT WAS THE WORST MOVIE I EVER SAW!” And then he repeated himself about fourteen times. So needless to say, we will not be purchasing and/or renting the DVD for a second viewing. But the good news is that I didn’t understand even 5% of what we saw, so odds are the plot won’t be hanging out in my brain for very long. And there were some sah-weet kah-rah-tay moves to imitate, so that was totally worth the ticket price.
We’re heading home tomorrow, so we’re about to embark on our final Afternoon-O-Fun with the cousins. I’m not exactly sure what we’re going to do, but you may rest assured that it will not involve The Past Bearsender.
However, a little bit more of God’s barbecue sauce is a very distinct possibility.
I’m totally with you on two fronts and must part ways on another. First, the Bachelorette TOTALLY defies all logic (isn’t that why we watch??!) and secondly, the movie? Oh my, the unfortunate movie. We saw it. We yawned. If you want a real great kah-ra-tay movie… take him to the new Karate Kid (it’s better than the first.) And that’s a lot coming from a girl who would have sold a kidney to meet Ralph Macchio back in the day.
But I part ways with you on Chris L.(yawn again) Frankly, I only had eyes for Frank. Now that he’s on to other things, I think Alli should go about finding love the old fashion way. (whatever that might be.) But it’s probably NOT in Tahiti nor in front of a camera.
Happy Wednesday.
Whoo brother, did I have a good laugh at “the past bearsender”.
If you find a spare minute, do come back and tell us what it is you made with cream cheese.
I read The Rabbit Room blog, and this guy does a One Minute Review of movies. Here is what he had to say about the “Past Bearsender”
It was a pretty funny review, in my humble opinion – FYI, I have no plans to view this flick:
http://vimeo.com/13045139
Have y’all ever eaten at the Rendevouz while in Memphis? It is super! And of course whenever we visit Memphis, we always go by Target. (you know Tupelo still doesn’t have one!)
I also think Chris is the best! I’m torn about whether I want her to pick him though because my, oh my, wouldn’t he make a fine Bachelor for next season???
My sister lives in Memphis, germantown actually, and when we visit, we always end up at Corky’s on Poplar….even though Memphis is the BBQ capital of the world, with dozens of bbq joints to try. I had never considered that perhaps their sauce was God inspired, but I think you’re right!
AND…I finally gave up on trying to watch this season of the Bachelorette b/c of the very thing you described. My husband unintentionally ruins the viewing experience for me with his comments and questions, and with it being two hour episodes, I just can’t ever get caught up on my dvr.
I have a recipe for something called cream cheese chicken that is a crock pot dish that is also God inspired.
To assist you in your cream cheese related endeavors, here is a favorite recipe of mine (and just for the record, since one of my husband’s friends asked once – it DOES go with beer!) Enjoy!
Sopapilla (or Cinnamon Toast) Cheesecake
Ingredients
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese
2 (8 ounce) packages refrigerated crescent dinner rolls
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract or almond extract
• 1/2 cup margarine or butter , melted
• 1/2 cup cinnamon sugar
Directions
1. Using a 9 x 13 baking pan, unroll one package of refrigerated crescent rolls and line the bottom of the pan.
2. Flatten
3. Mix together the cream cheese, sugar and extract.
4. Spread over the crescent rolls.
5. Unroll the other can of crescent rolls and place on top of cream cheese mixture.
6. Pour one stick of melted butter or margarine over the top and sprinkle with about 1/2 cup of the cinnamon sugar mixture.
•
7. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
8. Refrigerate til firm (though this does taste equally as yummy warm – if you can’t wait for it to firm up – not that that’s happened to me or anything…)
9. ENJOY!!!
Amy
“NOTHING CAN WRECK YOUR BACHELORETTE VIEWING LIKE A MAN WITH SOME QUESTIONS.”
Change Bachelorette to Tori and Dean and I you have my life. LOL!
Cape Cod Chris’ “I love you so much” about put me over the edge…I love HIM so much. However, she may not deserve him.
They always go for the one with which they have chemestry instead of the best husband/wife material…so I predict that she chooses Robert-o. I would LOVE for Cape Cod Chris to be the next bachelor…or just to be popped into the new “bachelor pad” show and fall in love w/ Tenley so that they can live the fairy tale forever.
The End.
My son said the same thing about the movie. Perhaps my boy or yours could become a movie critic so that we could alert others to save their pennies by avoiding “the worse movie I have ever seen in my whole life…”
Being a New Englander myself, I, of course, adore Cape Cod Chris, but something tells me that even he is not the right choice. While Ali is also originally from Massachusetts, and they have that in common, she made it clear she didn’t want to go back. I’m also afraid that Chris is too low key and laid back for her and that she may find him boring; which does not make for a good relationship or marriage.
On the other hand, I think that Ali may get around more than Chris rendering him a wee bit too good for her (I’m being subtle.) If he isn’t, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know…
I was not shocked about Frank at all. There was always something furtive and creepy about him. He watched everyone like a hawk, was jealous and yet he didn’t step up to the plate when it was his turn. In my opinion Ali sent a couple of good ones home (Ty for one). Roberto, according to magazines, left his girlfriend, wiped out his email and facebook and went on the show. She didn’t even know where he was till someone told her he was on the show. So he’s out in my book and the same magazines say that Chris is a player and a bar hog. I assume that they play up the bad stuff to make us watch, but I don’t like any of her choices now.
She was on Jimmy Kimmel Live via skype on Monday night at midnight and said she is engaged and very happy and wants the show to end so she can share her engagement. Who the heck knows?? Of the two I’d say Chris, but he’s 33 – she’s 25. Roberto at 26 is not even grown up yet lol.
It’s entertainment I guess. Look at Jake and Vienna. But of course we all hated her. Turns out we were right in a way. But Jake is a loser also and I think he was in it for the fame. So much for love eh?
Hugs,
Marie
Ebert gave “The Past Bearsender” one-half of a star. Not even one measly star!
Corky’s is the best to me! I lived in Memphis 18 years and still miss it.
BTW, there is a Pottery Barn outlet on Spottswood near Target there that you might be able to get some art/frames for above your bed. I miss that store too. No Pottery Barn here less than 2 hours away.
I eat cream cheese and think of you. There’s a restaurant about an hr from Memphis in Jobesboro that makes a dip that must make angels sing. It starts with cream cheese, then throws in sausage, pulled pork, and BACON! It’s called hog wild dip (for obvious reasons) and it will change your life. I think a trip to Arkansas may be in store for you on your next visit to Memphis if for no other reason than this dip. I almost get teary-eyed just describing it!
Oh yes- I am back from my family reunion where we too had a cream-cheese-a-thon. We had appetizers(poppers made w Cr Cheese and jalapenos in wonton wrappers-fried then dipped in strawberry jelly). We ate cream cheese pound cake for dessert. We had chicken packets (cream cheese w chopped chicken and gr onions mixed and put in crescent roll dough and baked). But the favorite is garlic cream cheese (mix a block w 1/2 c mayo and a clove or 2 of minced-real- garlic). You put it on your BLTs or just eat it w crackers.
Bachelorette?! (Did anyone notice how much Robert-o sweats?) We loved Chris from the beginning. And we do love a happy ending….
I can tell you that I am from Memphis. Born and raised, yet I’ve traveled all over the country. God did make Corky’s bbq sauce. He did. I’m sure of it. If you need another place to snag tonight? Germantown Commissary in the heart of G’town and Central BBQ with various locales all over the city. Enjoy! See I knew I liked your blog for a reason–MSU fans and family from Memphis. =0)
We have never eaten at Corky’s, but will make sure the next time we are in Memphis that we do not miss it. I am glad you are always looking out for the bbq-well-being of your readership.
The first time my husband and I had Corky’s ribs, we ordered seconds. We were like a couple of starved cave people throwing bones assunder, grunting , tearing into ribs with our front teeth and yelling more meat grrrr!
Oh come now, that was “real” when Frank showed up at his exes door and she was showered, home, did not have company, and was not totally surprised by a camera crew. Something Boodaddy and all men need to consider. Show up with a camera crew unexpected and see what happens.
Plus-
When Ali threw the decorative flower from her hair in frustration, oh that was reality gold.
Ohhh, Memphis native and current resident here…just had Corky’s on Saturday! However, you MUST try the turkey at Central BBQ (on Central Ave or on Summer). IT IS AMAZING. Heaven in poultry form. Get them to leave the sauce off and dip it in the mustard. And I agree on the other poster with the Potter Barn Outlet…I got an email just today talking about a big sale…
My husband talks all the way through The Bachelorette every week! (“What? Why are you so mad at Frank? Why is Frank a big stupid-bummy jerk?” he asks, “She’s dumped at least one man a week for how many weeks now and you’ve never been mad at HER. And you LOVED Frank two weeks ago! Now he dumps ONE girl, and he’s the Devil incarnate! You make no sense, woman!) [sic]. (It’s my fault because I ASKED him to watch it with me this season. Doh!)
Cape Cod Chris has grown on me but I still don’t see them together long term because of the East Coast/West Coast thing, and Roberto is ever so lovely to look at, but they don’t seem to actually TALK when they are together, if you know what I mean. We shall see.
Too late for this visit, I fear, but you must try Bozo’s BBQ in Mason next time! Oh my, how my family loves that place. The most tender pork shoulder ever and their 3 sauces are divine! See the following link for a nice review:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118315470509653519.html
Also has been in Southern Living, but I can’t find a link…
Oh, Corky’s. You bring back some great memories. I am lucky enough to have been to Memphis about five times, but three were for business on Players Club Lane (PLEASE tell me you’ve been! it’s lovely) and involved no Corky’s. The other two times were for work with people who are local to Memphis and would not have dreamed of a visit without Corky’s. And I am in debt to them forever! Love that place. Thanks for the happy memories.
I too am from Memphis (though I live in Jackson now), and I ADORE Corky’s! There used to be one in Jackson, but it was NOT. THE. SAME. And Jackson people must have agreed because it closed last year and was replaced by a Captain D’s. A sad business all around.
Man. I feel the same way about men and TV except with the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I don’t know why Danielle’s crazy! She just is. Now hush so I can hear her spout more crazy!
No no no! Jim Nealy’s Interstate Barbecue! I will fight you over this!
And just the phrase “The Past Bearsender” is cracking me up over here.
I clearly need to get a life because I don’t know what rhymes with The Past Bearsender, but the name makes me laugh anyway, as did the whole post. Well done. (Insert applause here.)
I wonder if your brother watching the Bach with you is something like me watching (awful!) horror movies with my husband and horror movie fan and then screaming at the T.V., “do NOT go out there! ARE YOU CRAZY? WHY would anyone go out there? This just DOES NOT make sense! Blah, blah, blah . . .”
I’m actually feeling kind of bad now for even TRYING to watch one of his movies with him. I mean, I only do when he asks and suggests that it’s one I can “handle”. But now that I have this comparison to him, maybe, trying to watch the Bach, I see it in a totally different light.
You’re either sucked into the world of the Bach or you’re not. It’s the show we love to hate. It’s like when I tried to tell my husband during his wrestling watching phase, “you KNOW that’s fake, right?”
oh mylanta,
lorie, i also didn’t know what rhymed with the past bearsender (but i also don’t have any children). that still cracks my mess up.
the bachelorette, however, i can MOST DEFINITELY talk about…i started making comments in my status update last year during the whole jason/molly/melissa season and now there is a whole forum who meets on my page every monday night to discuss the episode at hand in real time.
it’s big fun.
but, let me TELL you…i was L I V I D with frank. to the point that i called my therapist the next day. i was a hot mess over all that.
now then, ccc – i ADOOOORRRE him. but. i don’t think he’s for ali. i think roberto is her better match. i just do. plus, i think ccc would be a better match for someone…cuter. more…southern. someone…closer to his age. someone more…like…ME! :)
loooove your blog, boomama.
mk
Oh my word, this was one of your best posts ever. Hilarious!
I wish I knew what The Past Bearsender is just so I could know not to go watch that movie. But I clearly won’t be going because my movie knowledge in this comment shows how often I visit the theater.
Or perhaps it’s theatre. One never knows.
Two words: Despicable Me. Great, funny movie with a redemptive message.
Not that I watch Bachelorette…but if I did…I’d think Chris L. is the obvious choice to…for me. But for Ali, I think she’ll go for Roberto. I think he’s more in her circle or something. But Chris is who I’d want to fix up with a friend…
http://www.laundryandvodka.com
Ah, my husband went to see that movie and he who is the lover of all movies thought it was awful. If you’re really interested in something like it (or your son is) apparently the TV show it’s based on is actually quite good.
And the Bachelorette. Seriously, if I weren’t already happily married, that Chris guy is too good to be true! Honestly I think Ali is a little too shallow for him, but ah well. I wish them all well!
(and yes, we decided to postpone our viewing until last night since we didn’t want to watch in the hotel with a 3 year old, nor in the same room with my mother-in-law!)
Just moved to Memphis area from San Diego, and I think we went to Corky’s 3 times in one week when we first got here! Love Love it!!!
All delicious sounding! Did you see this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-j2W-4Bl4o