This is a sponsored post from BlogHer and Smuckers.
I’m not sure where I first got the idea of putting notes in our little man’s lunchbox. I know that it wasn’t any sort of original concept, so my best guess is that I probably saw Claire Huxtable put a note in one of her kids’ lunchboxes on The Cosby Show when I was younger. Of course I wasn’t consciously trying to pick up parenting tips from a TV show when I was, you know, thirteen, but I’ve never been one to underestimate the lasting influence of a family sitcom.
I mean, do you know how many times I’ve thought about Jan Brady running into the family portrait on her bicycle when I’m trying to teach our son about being responsible?
YOU ONLY HAD TO WEAR THE GLASSES, JAN.
YOU ONLY HAD TO WEAR THE GLASSES.
Regardless of where the idea originated, I first started putting notes in Alex’s lunches when he was in Mothers’ Day Out. At the time he couldn’t really read, of course, so I’d just draw a big heart and then sign “Mama” at the bottom. When he started four year-old kindergarten and was recognizing a few words, I moved up to “Alex – I love you, Mama” – and the notes have gotten more elaborate over the last couple of years. He always thanks me for the notes when I pick him up from school, and lots of times I’ll find the notes when I unpack his lunchbox – with little jelly or Cheetos fingerprints all along the edges.
Last year Alex ate in the school cafeteria a good bit (I have NO IDEA why, but he really gets a kick out of going through the lunch line), so I didn’t pack lunches nearly as often. But at the end of the school year, his class had a field day, and since the cafeteria was going to be closed that day, the teachers asked us to send a lunch to school.
It just so happened that the week of field day was a hard one for us because our dog Maggie died. She hadn’t been well for awhile, and I don’t think any of us were prepared for how difficult it was when she finally passed away. Alex took her death particularly hard – it was the first time he’s ever had to say good-bye to something he loved – and the week was filled with hard questions and hard answers. We talked a lot about the fact that there’s purpose in every single thing that happens in our lives, and we talked about how grateful we were that we got to share life with Maggie.
But oh, how he cried. And oh, how he missed her.
When I was packing his lunch the Friday morning of field day, I decided to stick a note inside. I tried to make it upbeat and comforting because I knew how much his little heart was still hurting. And sure enough, when I picked him up from school that afternoon, he said, “Thanks, Mama, for the note you sent me. It made me smile.”
A few days ago I asked Alex why he likes it so much when I send him little notes, and he said, “Because when I’m thinking about you at school, the note reminds me that you’re thinking about me, too.” It’s such a small thing to do – it literally takes less than a minute – but I really do believe that that kind of intentional, loving communication with our kids reaps huge benefits. If you’ve ever written a note to your child(ren), you know that you can see the joy all over their face when they read it.
After the little guy and I talked for a few minutes about lunchbox notes, I had a hunch. Since field day was the last lunch I packed this past school year – and since he told me at the end of that day that he threw away all of his trash at school – I wondered if maybe he held onto the note when lunch was over. So I went in the pantry, pulled the lunchbox off the shelf, and sure enough, I found what I suspected that I would.
He kept it.
Bless his heart.
To celebrate the ways that moms connect with their kids over lunch – whether it’s by putting a note in a lunchbox or making special plans to sit in the backyard and eat sandwiches together – Smuckers has created a really neat program called Kidvitations. It’s a way for parents to intentionally make mealtimes special – and I think it’s awesome. I also think that you and your kids are going to love it.
If you’d like to enter to win a $200 Visa gift card, leave a comment and tell me one of your favorite ways to connect with the children in your life.
There are also BlogHer.com Smuckers roundup page.
And if you enjoy a little light reading, you’re sure to be delighted by the BlogHer.com Smuckers official rules.
This giveaway will run through August 23rd, at which point I’ll use random.org to select a winner.
Can’t wait to read your comments!
Create a Kidvitation!
Home can be a busy place with the hustle and bustle of everyday life. That’s why it’s important to set time aside to spend with your kids. Use Smuckers® Kidvitations to invite your kids to share a moment with you over a perfect PB&J. Check it out.
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I love the connection of sitting around a table with them (and yes, with food). If feels like it is one of the only times that everyone’s attention is focused and can be heard.
My kids are still little, so no lunches to pack yet. But we try and eat dinner as a family every night and talk about our day. And if we don’t do it then, we talk about our day and whats going on the next day when I tuck them in at night. They are 3 1/2, 2 and 6 months, so basically we do a lot of connecting ALL.THE.TIME!
Even though my three youngest are 13, 10 and 8, I still read to them every night and they love it.
My baby isn’t here yet… 6 weeks to go! I connect with him by talking to him and patting his little hiney when he wiggles around in my belly!
One of the best ways or times to connect is while you are in the vehicle transporting the kiddos from one place to another.
My little girl (1 1/2) loves it when we read Goodnight Moon every night at bed time. She refers to it as “Moon” and loves finding the little mouse throughout the book.
Such a sweet post! I am not going to lie, I cried a little bit. I love the idea of doing things like this when my sweet Amelia is older. For now, my favorite thing to do to connect with her is to snuggle up and read books together.
Both of my kids really enjoy cuddling and reading together – and that’s something this bookworm Mama can totally handle!
I am the mom of 3 boys. I learned with my oldest that the time boys like to talk is late at night. So, I have a policy that if they get home late and start talking I won’t go to bed until they stop talking. In fact, I won’t even get up to go to the bathroom (they might turn on the Tv while I’m gone) It’s led to some late nights but with teenage boys you have to be available when they’re talking – it doesn’t happen often.
Some of the favorite moments in my day happen right when my almost-five-year-old wakes up in the morning and comes to sit on my lap in the living room. It is one of the few times in her day when she isn’t busy playing and I cherish just getting to talk about what she dreamed about or what she wants to do that day.
I connect with my daughter by spending the evenings with her in the master bedroom. We use this time to read books, enjoy manicures and pedicures and sometimes draw and color together. In the midst of all the fun, we often talk about things that are important to her and I try to sneak in lessons along the way. She’s six now and loves the special one-on-one time with momma. While we’re in the bedroom, daddy and baby sister, who’s two, are in the living room enjoying their end-of-the-day routine, which consists of reading books, singing songs and having some milk before bedtime. It’s a win-win for everyone and works great for our little family.
My little boy is only 1, but since he has been eating in his highchair we always make it a point to eat together at the dinner table. No tv and no distractions. I hope this will create a habit and continue on as he grows. It is a great time to sit around and catch up with everyone and talk about their day!
I like to play boardgames with my kids.
On these summer mornings where we don’t have much of a schedule, I keep my pregnant self in bed until I HAVE to get up. After a while my girls start to wander in, and they crawl in with me. We talk about the day before, or the day coming up, or if they had an interesting dream. I’m really, really going to miss that when they start school again.
Right now, we love to crawl into the bed after bath time and read a “chapter book” together. We each take turns reading aloud. It’s super simple, but has led to countless discussions, giggles, and even a few heartbroken tears (at which point we all look at each other and say ‘stupid show!’…not sure why!). My kids will even ask during the day sometimes if we can please read just one chapter! I love this time together, and I’m thinking they do too!
We connect each morning on the way to school. Each day one of us prays. Everyone gets to share if they have any special prayer requests for the day and then we pray before we get to school. Some of my prayers start out with “Please forgive me for yelling at the kids to get in the car”. . . but it is a great way to start their morning before school! :)
Bed time and nap time. Who can resist a three year old asking to snuggle?
We have 2 fun things that we like to do.
1. We read our Bible and devotional at the end of the evening and I try to get both the girls to talk through the things on their little 4 and 5 year old hearts.
2. We LOVE to go to the movies and/or get ice cream whenever we get the chance. It is one of our family’s favorite summer activities!
my little girl is only 6 months old and it amazes me that she is already looking for moments to connect with me. she will be happy as a clam, playing in her exersaucer, and every couple of minutes she will look over at me. if i’m not looking at her she is fine and goes back to playing, but if i give her any attention at all– oh, she just lights UP! i love the idea of connecting with your kids in creative ways as they get older, and as a youth pastor– i definitely see how HUGE an impact that has on kids, even if they never admit that to their parents.
I put notes in my kids lunches too. I never knew what they meant to them until one day I didn’t do it.
We also pray as we drive to school. It helps each of us face the day with a great attitude. {Which is tough…we’re not morning people}
I love giving my niece and nephews books. Right now, they are just children’s books, but as they get older so will the books. Favorite books are usually the one thing that never get thrown away, so I hope they have them to remember their childhood for a long time.
My boys are still little, but I really love the funny thoughts that go through their head at the dinner table. They tell my husband the most adorable things and it’s fun to see what was memorable to them that day!
I find that children like to create and give even more than they like to receive. One example: when my nieces and nephews visit, I help them make bookmarks with drawings and stickers. Then I laminate them for them to give. Of course they give one to me and I make sure to be using it when they visit – they know that I’m thinking about them every time I read!
I write notes for my daughter on napkins in her lunch. Even now that she is in middle school, she loves getting her notes. We also cook and bake together. With my son, we like to watch movies, go bike riding, and just hang out together.
My children are no longer small and live at home so I had to learn to adapt to speak with them…on their terms. So we text, and Facebook message and chat. Baby girl is going away to college in a few short weeks so we have set up Skype for those times when I just need to put my eyes on her. I love technology!
As long as you can keep the line of communication open, you can have a wonderful relationship. I ask my two children each and every day,”What is going on, What’s happening with you?” My daughter is 16 and my son is 22 and I have found, if I don’t ask them questions, I will never know anything. But as long as I ask, they seem to have no problems in telling me.
Every night after a few books and prayers I ask both of my boys what there 3 favorite things were from the day. I love to see their little brains thinking and reviewing the day that we have had.
I have a small mailbox that I keep on the breakfast counter – when I know our granddaughter is coming to visit I usually stock it with stickers and treats and flip the red flag up. Once she learns to read, I’ll be adding notes for sure!
Dinner time together.
I have 2 teenage girls now but I used to love to put notes in their lunchboxes. I would sometimes just draw on their napkins and they’d always keep them. My oldest daughter and I like to spend time in the kitchen together and my younger daughter and I like to play games together. I’ve found that one-on-one time with each one gives them the freedom to open up and talk honestly.
I love doing the note in the lunchbox, too (or written on a banana….though that method is not “save-able”!!) Another favorite of mine is our “book picnics in bed”….the kids will grab a stack of favorite books, a blanket, and we’ll pile on my bed for a reading “feast”. Perfect on those cold, rainy WA afternoons!
I have no children, but when I do, I would love to write them little love notes!
I connect with my little man at bedtime. He is just 2 and starting to be able to tell me about his day. It is fun to hear him review all the things he got to do each day in his little way.
We read together.
I found it was beneficial to spend one-on-one time with both of my children. It made them feel special, even if it was just riding along with me while I did errands. Some of the best conversations I had with them when they were growing up occurred as we were driving in the car. Perhaps it was easier to open up about things when they weren’t having to make direct eye contact with me LOL.
I’m blessed to be able to share lunchtime with my two-year-old daughter every day. My favorite part of the experience is taking her order. She always requests, “A samich!! Peena budder jerry!!!” It’s the best part of my day. Well, that and naptime. ;)
The best way for us to connect is in my bed– at night when we’re all in pajamas, they climb in bed with me and we watch something kid-friendly while chatting and laughing. It’s just cozy, warm, loving family time. The hard part is dragging them out of my room for bedtime in THEIR OWN ROOMS!!!
I, too, enjoy the time alone in the car, especially when I have them one at a time. They are a captive audience, and usually I cant get their attention pretty quickly. I’ve even been known to take “the long way” to extend the conversation.
We make it a point to always have dinner together as much as possible. We ask each one what happened and talk about our day together.
I do what I call the Mommy-trap when I get home from work with my two kiddos. It basically entails a ginormous bear hug from me that my kiddo cant escape until they tell me about their day and we say I Love You to each other. It works while they are still little and I can get a little snuggle time in also. Plus it never hurts to hear the L word even if they are trapped until they say it. =)
I love to connect with children by finding out what they like to do and then doing it with them!
Since Precious and I drive home from school together everyday because she attends where I teach, we have a good 20 to 30 minutes to debrief everyday.
The first thing I do when we get in the car is to ask for her High and Low of the day. It gives her a chance to tell me about her day while processing her own thoughts about any negative happenings. Often she finds that her lows are not so low and highs have become much easier to identify.
My daughter is 6, and though she is certainly old enough to do her own bath, I still do it for her! While we make bubble beards and write on the walls in soap crayon, she happily chats away about what happened in her day, who she played with, what made her happy or sad. I know the day is coming when I won’t get this sweet time at the end of the day, so I will bathe her as long as she is willing!
My 2 favorite ways – reading to them and just making it a point to sit and listen to them. My boys love nothing more than having a specific time where we are focused on just them.
We have devotion time in the mornings. It is a great way to start the day and get our thoughts on the Lord.
With three young boys (ages 4, 2, and 4-months), it is hard to connect. But I try to make a conscious effort to spend time with each one, doing what it is he likes to do best.
Our neice is very special to us! I love to send her little packages in the mail. I usually include a note telling her how much we love and miss her, along with something special inside just for her.
I love to bake with my niece!
I have three nephews, and I keep them often. I like to make fun and messy food or crafts with them – stuff their parents don’t have the time or patience for! Peanut butter and Smuckers will always be a favorite go-to meal for these little guys!
i always put notes in chrislenn’s lunch too! and she enjoys reading them to her friends so i’ll add a little extra for them too :)
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