When Old People Watch The Grammys

Me: You know what? I heard that Justin Bieber’s movie was kind of good.

Him: Where? Who said that?

Me: I don’t know. Magazines. The Twitter. People really seem to like it. They say it’s uplifting and actually a really neat story.

Him: Really? I think it’s safe to say that I won’t be seeing it. Not to mention that I don’t exactly know any of his songs.

Me: Well, you make a good point.

Him: And you know what? Even though everyone seems to love them and all, Mumford & Sons sort of make me angry.

Me: Angry? Really?

Him: Yes. They just make me want to throw things.

Me: Because their songs are kind of folksy and sometimes seem a little endless and maybe make you feel like you’re trapped in some sort of crowded pub?

Him: YES. I JUST – OH. THEY JUST – OH. ANGRY.

Me: Well, at least they’re real musicians. They’re very talented.

Him: ANGRY!

Me: Who’s that?

Him: I don’t know. Oh, wait. It’s Cee-Lo. I think.

Me: Oh.

Him: So why is he singing with Muppets, exactly?

Me: Wait. Is that the catchy song with the bad word? YES. That’s the catchy song with the bad word. So maybe they thought it would be funny for him to sing his catchy song with the bad word with a bunch of puppets? You know, to make it kicky and edgy?

Him: Oh. Okay.

Me:*silently worrying about Gwyneth’s tricky shoes*

Him: *leaves the room for a few minutes, then returns*

Me: I think we’re officially too old for this. I mean, why is Katy Perry sitting on a swing made of ribbon and tinsel?

Him: I don’t know. It’s weird.

Me: Jolene!

Him: Jolene!

Me: Who’s that?

Him: She just won Best New Artist. I don’t know her name, though.

Me: It doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure that I’ve never heard of her.

The end.

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Comments

  1. I am quite sure this post would have been our experience as well…though we don’t get the Grammys in Ukraine. It’s been interesting to read what others have written! Every time we return to the States I hear of a new group … with no clue about their music. Sigh. Guess I’ll just listen to some more golden oldies…

    Thanks for the early morning chuckle!

  2. I’m with you. I have no idea who all those people are. And I only know about Bieber because one of my second graders did her book report on him. Please.

    I hate to say that we’re about as bad when it comes to the Oscars. There was a time when we would’ve seen most of the nominated movies, but these days, if a Disney picture isn’t in the running, we haven’t seen it. (I still watch the show to see everyone dressed up, though.)

  3. I’m glad someone else had a similar experience to mine. I mean good heavens – who were those people who won Album of the Year and why were they so very angry? I do not enjoy music that increases my stress level. And evidently I’m not old enough to appreciate Barbara Streisand – I just wanted her to stop – please, please stop. Anywho – the whole thing was like a car accident that I could neither enjoy or turn away from.

  4. I choose to no longer watch the entertainment award shows. I am SO far behind the times in the industry. I simply cannot for the life of me understand some of the weirdness, but I suppose it’s really not to be understood, now is it? I do always check-in the next day with all the red carpet broo-ha-ha, and that is just enough entertainment for me!

  5. This was way better than those award shows! :)
    My four-year-old, she is a Belieber. She’s in love. Her Valentine is a purple Bieber shirt with a heart on it. I’m sick of Baby, Baby. But she isn’t. She recorded a clip of herself singing that song on my niece’s DSI (whatever that thing is called) and told me, “MAMA, I might get picked to go to his birthday party.”
    SHE’S FOUR!

  6. You are braver than me! I quit watching that show a few years ago. They were just a bit too weird for me but I wouldn’t mind getting your take on most award shows then I will not have to watch them at all.

  7. Amen, sister! I just don’t get it. I don’t know what I’d listen to without Sirius. I stick with the Hair Nation and Boneyard, with occasional Big 80’s. :) It mortifies the teenagers to have something like Motley Crue on when you pick them up at school. Ha! When driving the teeangers around and we listen to their stuff, *occasionally* I can stand it for more than 2 minutes. And I’ll say, “I kinda like that song.” “Mama…that song is SOOO old, it was out MONTHS ago.” Ha ha!

  8. You are too funny! I “liked” this in Google Reader but wanted to leave you a comment that if there was “double like” option in Reader I would use it. Thanks for the laughs.

  9. The only thing I like about award shows is seeing the fancy dresses. :)

  10. This is eerily similar to the conversation hubs and I had during the show last night, except we spent a lot more time postulating Cee Lo’s ancestry: “It’s like he’s a love child of Elton John and Mr. T. And some Las Vegas Showgirl. And Elmo.”

  11. Hahaha, @Cori! I was calling Cee-Lo “Blelton Blohn.” And when Gwyneth stood up on top of that piano, it nervoused me like crazy!

  12. My husband and I couldn’t figure out when Tim Tebow got a band and why the former Gator was singing about nooses. The whole night was pretty much a mystery to us.

  13. We were at the mall Friday night and saw all the little girls in line for the Bieber movie and I had a flashback to the early nineties in Germany when we drove FOUR hours to take our daughter and some of her friends to a New Kids on the Block concert. One of the worst weekends ever for my husband and I.

  14. Amen! I officially felt old the first time I saw Katy Perry’s highschool picture and thought “she was such a cute girl, so why does she look like “that” now?” and when I see boys and think “cut your hair and pull up your pants.” I would have been totally lost if I even attempted the Grammy’s.

    Shameless self promotion- last day for giveaway at Milk & Cookie Party
    http://www.milkandcookieparty.blogspot.com Drawing today for a precious dress!

  15. Why does everyone have a “Lo” after their names? J-Lo, Cee-Lo.. next it will be Gwyn-Lo… Just have the name your mama gave you and be happy about it! I totally did not get the leopard-y outfit that the chick that I didn’t know was wearing. It covered her whole head… it was so weird. And I didn’t understand the muppets EITHER! I am so glad I was not the only one feeling so confused! My husband would drift in and out between seeing the “show” and doing taxes. You KNOW he was a mess!

  16. It’s like you were sitting in our living room and watching with us! I did enjoy Mumford & Sons. I had never heard of them before. And Jolene was the best part of the evening for me!

  17. Arcade Fire’s performance with all of those strobe lights and BMXers riding all over the stage? I nearly had a seizure. When I saw Barbra singing and thought to myself, “Wow, I bet that would be a very enjoyable show,” I knew I was officially old and uncool. When you define a great concert as “enjoyable,” it’s over. And when you gauge the awesomeness of a concert by your ability to sit down during said concert, even worse.

  18. Bieber’s movie was good! We saw it Saturday and I enjoyed it and I’m 40. He seems to be a nice kid with a nice family (mom and grandparents who raised him), and a real cutie pie. The boy is talented, too!

  19. OK…..just for the record…..My husband and I are over 50…so obviously we are not the “target audience”…but my word……I felt like I was watching some sort of psychodelic dream sequence for most of the show…. They mentioned Tom Petty and Neil Young we we perked up on that! I admit it … we are officially lame now! Ha!!

  20. I have the EXACT same response to Mumford and Sons. My hubby loves them, and yes, my response is that I want to throw things when they play. I can’t figure out why. But I do.

  21. Ok….this hits home for me. Last night, all three of my teen/YA kids made a comment about one of the people at the Grammy’s. The comment was, “I thought he was supposed to be in prison?”.
    Me, not knowing the dude or the circumstance made a comment back. I said, “Oh that just makes him more famous and makes us pay him more money….we tend to glamourize any poor behavior in our country!”.
    Then I was slammed with the ….”Mom, don’t hate!”
    Eeek!
    I thought right then……maybe I’m too old to watch this too! ;(

  22. This post has taught me that Cee-lo is a man. For some reason hearing (actually only reading) that name I always pictured a lady. Good to know!

  23. So funny! And I was on the edge of my seat watching Gwyneth in her shoes…Sheesh! Thanks for the laugh. :)

  24. freakin’ hilarious – this was me and my hubby and we are under 40 but have a newbor – so maybe it was fatgue?

  25. Oh my goodness…I thought Cee-lo was a girl too!! I thought what made me old was the songs that I knew best were during the “tribute” portion of the show!

  26. Oh how I wish you could have seen my Facebook roll last night. Here are few of the highlights. Mick and those skinny jeans. Cee-Lo looks like a big red chicken. Christina remembered the words! Eminem and Rihanna rocked it, I mean rocked it! Who is Esparanza something or other??? Really Arcade Fire, his hair looks like something from the 80’s, either that or a lawnmower got a hold of him. And just for the record, not one of these is from me. These were others that posted. Mine for the record just said that while I like Lady Antebellum, I am sick of hearing their song Need You Now. And that Justin B should have won because atleast I know who he is!!
    There’s your recap of the 2011 Grammys.

  27. I had never heard of Mumford & Sons but I kind of fell in love with them last night. Don’t tell your hubby.

  28. I only caught the opening act. I could only identify with certainty *one* of the performers. The oldest one. Amen.

  29. OMG this is so funny because we watched up until Cee-Lo and Gwyneth. We had also watched the 60 minutes deal with Lady Gaga and had officially decided that we seriously had moved into the TOO OLD TO WATCH AWARDS SHOWS. But we persevered. Loved the first set of girls singing, Christina thank you for remembering the words, but bless your heart for falling down at the end, Jennifer Hudson looked awesome. Know idea who the redhead was. So we lost points at the start. Then when Lady Gaga came out and sang we though ok, its weird, but great choreography so ok, we’ll “like” the Gaga. Look at facebook and see all my young adult childrens friends posting how awful Lady Gaga was. I looked at my husband and said we really are old. When we start thinking someone is good, they just totally lost their cool factor. I predict Cee-Lo and Gwyneth will crash with their bad word song next as I totally loved it and even her Glee version. too bad for them. Hope they made a lot of money prior to me “liking” them.

    oh well. 50 is not so bad, there is always the Allman Bros and the Doobie Bros :)

  30. We caught the trio singing “Jolene” in honor of Dolly, and why does everyone think John Mayer is so cute? Then we caught Eminem and Rihanna, and while I do have to say it was a catchy tune and they really sang their socks off, it was depressing and all I could understand of Eminem’s lyrics was the anger in them. But, then, what do you expect?
    We skipped most of the rest after that.
    Oh, but when Bieber was up for new artist or new somethin’ of the year, Jason turned to me and said, “What does that say about our society if he wins?”
    So. He didn’t win that one. But we have no idea who the chick was that did win. And thus we’re still in the dark about society in general, apparently.

  31. And what about Lady Gaga? CUHRAZY! I officially felt too old for the Grammys last night, too.
    But I did love Katy Perry and I loved that Nicole Kidman was TOTALLY singing along and she’s older than me. I mean, she looks 1000 times better than me, but she’s older than me years-wise…..

  32. The Grammy’s were on last night? Seriously, I didn’t even know until someone asked me this morning at work. I just don’t care who wins or doesn’t win. Is that bad?

  33. I thought we were losing cable reception then realized it was the Eminem song and they were bleeping out the words (measures at a time i might add).
    I thought Babs looked fat but at least i knew the words to her song
    i thought i was pretty cool in that i knew several of the newer artists but came back to reality when I realized i’d never heard of Arcade Fire or Esparanza.

  34. This post rocks. I didn’t even watch the Grammys. After the musical annoyances during the Superbowl and having to listen to Ke$ha when my son is in the van, I just walk around the house and sing Great is Thy Faithfulness to myself.

  35. Um, were you in our room last night? This was nearly the exact conversation we had going! Except we were wondering why John Mayer had to read the words to “Jolene” and if Gwyneth was going to make it off the piano alive due to the scary shoes she was wearing.
    After that we took out our dentures, turned on our heating pads, swallowed our blood pressure medication and called it a night.
    Love,
    Grandmammie

  36. This made me laugh so hard! My mom and I were texting during the show. Now, she is 65. I am 33. Half of the artists on the show I had never heard of and neither has she. Here’s the text conversation she and I had last night after Lady Gaga’s performance (Please note, this is verbatim-spelling errors and all).
    Mom: R u watchng Grammys? Thought Lady Gaga was tame for her!
    Me: Yes! It was good but sounded like Madonna’s “Express Yourself!”
    Mom: Ok tht xplains why I thought had heard it bfore.
    The question is when has my mom ever seen Lady Gaga perform other than in snippets on the news? And when did she learn to text like a 15 year old who clearly needs to pay attention in English class?
    Hilarious!

  37. I had this exact conversation with my husband and his family, but you left out the jokes about Lady Gaga and the embarrassment of watching Rhianna dance around in sequin underwear while your little cousins are in the room. And it’s not an old thing – I’m 24!

  38. Did not watch it but my husband came to the back of the house to tell me Lady Gaga had come to the red carpet in an egg. That was the highlight as far as I can tell. I am glad to know that Cee-Lo is a boyl and not a misspelling of Jennifer Lopez and what was with her blouse/dress she was wearing??

  39. Oh My Word! My husband said, “I didn’t know she could sing that good.” (Of Gwyneth Paltrow) And I totally responded, “Yeah…she was singing in that country movie. But, why is she singing with the muppets on here?”

    Loved this post! Old people watching the grammies indeed! =)

  40. I know, right?!?! I hate the Grammys! I think I’ve always been too old for the Grammy’s. I recently turned 40, but this show makes me feel at least 73. The only “best new artist” nominee I recognized was Justin Bieber and that’s only because I have a four year old who comes out singing “Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh” after dance class.

  41. Hilarious.

    Also, I knew only one of Justin Bieber’s songs. Yet saw the movie anyway. With one other friend. Yesterday. In the movie theater. Alone. Two grown woman seeing a movie about a 16 year old boy alone. Weird.

    But you know what? I really, really, really liked it. A lot. In fact, I bought his CD when I got home.

    And I’ll probably at some point see it again.

    After all, I do work with teenage girls.

    Shame.

  42. OH this post has me smiling. I am 45 and can’t stand to listen to music from the 80’s. That stuff is time warp material. ha. I don’t want to live in the past musically . I want what is new, fresh and crazy. I download everything. I am always looking for new artists. Music is therapy for me. Yea, there is some off the wall stuff out there, but what is weird is, I probably know the words to it. Give me Akon, Esthero, Shawty lo, Kaskade, Pink, Shivaree, Eminem. I want it all!

    …just being me!

  43. Stephanie in Oklahoma says:

    I gave up watching the Grammy’s the year they showed a woman about 10 months pregnant wearing tights with a big red circle on the belly doing a dance that looked like she was giving birth while standing up. . . . . that was it for me, I knew my time was over.

    I just keep thinking how lucky I was to grow up with the Beatles, the Eagles, and the Hag.

    Yup, I’m older than dirt.

  44. This is what I love about being “old”! You don’t have to endure such shows as the Grammys ’cause your friends don’t watch it either. Lady Gaga and her egg don’t even matter because they would think you weird if you even knew who L.G. was!!

    Life is too short to engross yourself in pop culture….especially today’s culture which mostly seems the humor of a 14 year old boy!

    Enough said…I’m off my soapbox!!

  45. i think you & I were separated at birth. Hee hee. I just love you & every.single. word that you type :0….you go boomama.

  46. Whenever we watch a music event on TV, there’s a point at which my husband tells me, “When I was living at home, this is the moment my mother would turn to me and say, ‘What’s happening on my TV right now? I don’t understand.'”

    That pretty much sums up how he and I watched the Grammys the other night. And that scares me a little bit. Lo, we are old.

  47. For all of you who think you’re old because you thought Cee-Lo was a woman…So did I. I’m only 27. I saw Gwenyth on Glee and when Santana got all sassy about “What do you know about Cee-Lo? You’re like, 40,” I realized I had no idea who they were talking about, and just assumed it was some new R&B chick. I was so wrong.

  48. Esperenza Spalding. Saw her at the 2009 NOLA Jazz Fest. AMAZING. You should know her.

  49. (not that i watched the grammy awards. because i did not. never do. don’t really care. but the oscars? I will record them, because I cannot miss a tear filled acceptance speech. and I will cry, too. at least once. as always)