A few weeks ago my fellas and I were having lunch at Chuy’s – as we tend to do every single Saturday of our lives barring illness or some inexplicable urge to eat elsewhere, though why, why would we do that, WHY, WHEN WE KNOW THAT OTHER RESTAURANTS DO NOT OFFER DELUXE TOMATILLO SAUCE, MY WORD – and after we’d placed our order, Alex said, “Mama, can I borrow your phone for a minute? I want to type out a story.”
So I handed him my phone, showed him how to pull up the “notes” feature thing-y, and for the next ten or fifteen minutes he typed away at his story, only pausing occasionally to ask us how to spell a word or to make sure he was saving the document correctly.
He put down the phone when it was time to eat, but after we finished he asked if he could read us his story. And he did. We laughed so hard at what he had written that just thinking about the sweetness of the memory brings tears to my eyes. And at the end of the story – when he smiled so big just from knowing how much his daddy and I had enjoyed what he’d written – I thought, Well, it’s finally happened. His stories really are his own now.
I started this blog when Alex was two. It blows my mind to think about that, to remember how he toddled around with a pacifier in his hand, how he threw fits in his car seat when he didn’t want to go somewhere, how he’d always say, “God made you special and he wuvs you BERRY MUCH” every single night after we said prayers. And for about four years, there was something so fun and so therapeutic about being able to document our days here on my blog. I wouldn’t take anything for having this little record of family memories, and I’m grateful that I’ve written about so many of my favorite “mama moments.” Our stories – his stories – are precious to me; they’re our history, you know?
But now he’s seven. Almost eight. And a lot of his stories? Well, they’re just not mine to tell anymore.
(I just realized that so far this post is making it sound like I’m about to shut down my blog.)
(Unfortunately, that is not the case even a little bit.)
(But apparently I get a little sentimental when I think about the fact that my boy is growing up.)
(I will now attempt to be somewhat more upbeat.)
Anyway, my point in writing this post is just to say that I know I’ve been in a bloggy slump lately. A big huge part of that is that I struggle with what to write about, especially now that the boy is getting older and it makes me feel uncomfortable to share too much of his life here on the interweb. The irony is that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE having a child this age – I get such a kick out of our conversations and his sense of humor and the way he looks at the world – but I want to be protective of his boundaries. Because even if he doesn’t really understand right now that he needs boundaries, one day he will. And I want him to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I tried my best to be respectful of that.
So given all of that, there’s been a little bit of a bloggy identity crisis going on with me (for the record, that was the absolute lamest thing I’ve EVER written, but I don’t know how else to say it). I’m not good at the home decor stuff. I don’t post a lot of recipes. I love sports, but people get tired of reading about them. I love the Lord, but I’m a smidge too irreverent (and also wordy) for devotional writing. I like to write about family, but honestly, it has been one sad thing after another in my extended family over the last year or so, and that doesn’t really lend itself to WITTY. I like lighthearted and kicky and punchy and fun. But I almost feel like I’m fresh out of, you know, TOPICS.
(Does anybody have an upbeat-yet-poignant piece of music that they could start to play softly in the background?)
(Because I’ve started to sound like the end of a “Doogie Howser, MD” episode.)
(You know, when he was typing in his journal on his sah-weet blue-screen monitor.)
Last thing. And then I’ll stop oh sweet mercy I promise I’ll stop.
The blogosphere is a very different place than it was back in ye olden days, when we wrote posts with fountain pens and delivered them via the Pony Express. People are super-sophisticated about how they market themselves and brand themselves and etc. and so on and so forth. That stuff just isn’t my thing. And because it’s not my thing, there have been times – like, oh, NOW – when I think that I don’t really fit in with whatever this new model of blogging is. I have Twitter because I enjoy it. I have ads because they enable me to cover the cost of running this little parcel of interweb real estate. I don’t have a Facebook page for my blog because I think the internet is probably sick and tired of me already. I don’t really know what all that SEO stuff is and certainly have no idea why I should care.
But despite all the changes, I still love blogging. I really do.
And even though I’m struggling a little bit with what to write about – and with the confidence to post what I write (there are a lot of unpublished posts in my drafts folder because I decide they’re terrible and then I chicken out) – I’m gonna keep trying to push through.
The bottom line is that my lack of bloggy consistency has been bugging me, so I wanted to say something about it, but for heaven’s sake please don’t let me interrupt even one more second of your weekend with my silly nonsense.
Now go eat some fried chicken or something.
And I’ll see y’all next week.
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So many of us seem to be having similar thoughts/doubts about our blogs.
My older 2 kids (daughters 13 and 11) have very strong opinions about if I now mention them and all photos are fully vetted for approval. I need to respect this but it has left a bit if a void in my blog. (Am I so boring that without my kids I have no identity? Hope not!)
My 11 year old loves to write and has just created her own private (invite only yo grandparents) blog and reading her take on things is quite hilarious….but as you say, it is THEIR story now…not ours)
So no words of wisdom, just an “amen sister”!
Hear’s to many more years of blogging and whatever that will mean for us :)
Well, I could read about Miss Martha and the Stein Marts until the cows come home.
I just wanted to say…you probably doubt yourself too much. I, for one, love when you ramble about nothing- you are witty and I enjoy that. The topic doesn’t matter to much to me- I like when you talk about food or shopping or your MIL or whatever pops up- I esp. enjoy your American Idol recaps now that I’m watching this season too. Just keep being yourself- we love it!
I found your blog about 6 months ago, linked from Kelly’s Korner I think. I just loved it from that first post I read. I mean you are so funny, and write like I think, and most days a good laugh is worth WAY more than anything. I like recipe blogs cause sometimes I’m at a loss for what we should have for dinner. I like decorating blogs because I like it when other people have pretty places to live. I like it here cause I feel like I’m reading something from a friend. Don’t change a thing…unless you add more about Miss Martha cause I kinda want to just call her up and see what she has to say today. :)
I’m really new to your blog (and a student at Ole Miss- don’t hold it against me!) but I just wanted to say hi and that I always enjoy your posts! You always give me a good laugh for the day, so don’t hide those posts in the drafts because I am sure you are just being tough on yourself!
We all have moments of terror writing for the general public. My draft folder is the same as yours!
I’d like to throw you a little bouquet. I enjoy your blog immensely. It is funny and speaks from the heart. And your fellas are gorgeous!
I’m glad you’re not shutting down, but I do want to put in my two cents and say that if you just posted a Martha quote here every weekday for the rest of my life, I could die happy.
Your blog caught my attention months ago and I check in every time you update and enjoy reading every. single. time. Even when you have little to say. It’s just the way it’s said. I too blog random things from time to time and find it hard to keep coming up with new things but decided that’s ok – it’s more for my enjoyment than anyone else’s and when I have something to say, it’s delightful to have a place to say it. So let yourself go and don’t force it – there will always be a story here and there to share and we’ll all be around to read it.
Thank you for not shutting this here place down. I would be devastated not to have your sass coming through my reader. Love your style. Your lack of blogging is irrelevant. You’ll write when the urge strikes and I’ll be reading it. I’m going through some of the same thing. I started my blog to write about life and my sweet five-year-old who just turned nine. Now I’m trying to link to parties and improve my photography and…I think I’ve burned out on going too many different directions. So keep on keeping on. You’ve got plenty that love your blog whatever you write.
Plus, I have to have your AI recaps. Have to.
I understand the need to protect the boundaries for your sweet boy. I try to do the same. Even though I do get a little sappy every once in awhile. And, will definitely get a bit sappy and sentimental in the coming year, as my oldest son will be graduating next year…and I already feel the weight of that sinking in.
We love you because you are you…we love your humor and your realness…and your heart. Just keep blogging…(I am tempted to write that twice or a few times in Dory from finding Nemo fashion and just for the record said it in sing-sony fashion in my head.)
Love to you…
Well you could just post the time and temp in you place and I’d read it every day cause I know you would make it fun!!!!
I think you actually said what is at the root of why I blog…I love looking back at the nonsense of our lives. My girls are older and one has her own blog but I too am extremely careful about what I say concerning them. They’re also old enough for me to run things by before hitting publish. In the end, I blog to record family…if people read and relate great, if not I know that one day down the road my girls will enjoy looking back at this, especially when they are in the season of life I’m in now. Oh how I wish I had something like this of my mom’s to read. Anyway, I think people like your blog because of how you say it, not what you say. You’re funny and seem real and I think that’s what readers relate to so keep blogging!!
girl i SeriouSly almoSt felt a tear drop When i thought thiS poSt meant you Were Shutting the ole blog doWN! PLEASE DONT!! EVER:):)
i love reading your blog! becauSe every day itS different, and hilariouS!!
SO TO YOU I SAY KEEP ON WRITING YOUR STORY SISTA!!
Hi, Boo! May I call you Boo? :) Yours was the first blog I ever read. (I wandered over from the Living Proof Ministries blog to see what the heck a Boomama was!) I know what you mean about blogs changing in the last few years. It’s an industry and a business for some people. But your blog (and Bigmama’s too) are still my favorites, and the only ones I check daily (besides adoption blogs) because you’re so dang REAL. And unbranded! And relatable! And funny! I hope you keep it up for a long, long time. :)
I know exactly how you feel. Some days I stress about what to write. Then I end up writing about cleaning out the fridge or collecting eggs from our coop. Please don’t stop writing! I love your view of the world no matter what your viewing or writing about at the moment. You make whatever you’re writing about fun, and that’s why I come by each day. I know what you mean about blogging being a business, and I like you, don’t do what the business model says we’re supposed to do…. SEO, ect. You’re link is listed on my blog as one of my favorite reads!
the wanna be country girl – Caroline
Oops…just caught my typo…I meant sing-songy…but you knew what I meant!
I’ve been mulling over some of the same thoughts. After we adopted our daughter, I put up boundaries as to what parts of her story I would tell and how much of her adjustment/attachment I would share. I disappointed some people by not telling the full story.
My son is now 4 and I wonder when I’ll stop writing as much about him. But I know for sure that in motherhood “the days are long, but the years are short.” I am so thankful I did take those 5 minutes to write out a funny moment. Goodness knows I can’t remember when we were… and he said… then he looked…
I enjoy your blog so much. Thanks for writing.
The same issues came up for me when I started my blog. I numbered my children to avoid using their name and I ask if I can blog when something happens or they say something. They are older, youngest is 15. Still, I wanted to respect their thoughts. There have been some really funny things that I haven’t been able to blog about and those things I write in my journal because that is for my eyes only. So far, so good. Even my husband will say that I can blog stuff. I don’t post that often, but I think it works for us. Really glad you are not shutting it down and I agree with the Martha and Steinmarts comments!
I have been here since the start of time, and love reading what you write. I wrote an ode, or lament to the way things were when I first started blogging in 2006 a few posts ago, because all of a sudden there seems to be a huge divide, and I am happy just poddling along the way I have been.
My kids are older and grown, and 2 out of the 3 really hate being written about. Strangely, it is my youngest who actually sat me down and said, Mum, this is YOUR life. You have been there all through the years you raised us and YOU have stories to tell too. About how you did things, and if you happen to mention any of us, then that is just fine. It is YOUR story. You can’t just declare 32 years to be blank.
True.
You see, you can’t separate me from the fact that my 3 kids have been the single greatest blessing in my life, and have indeed occupied 99.9999% of my time. Therefore I have to mention them. But if I turn the focus to how I feel, cope, survive whatever, then I think that works. The stories, they want to get out.
So keep chatting away here. I will certainly be around!
Oh my goodness, I so understand your dilemma. My blog (small and teensy as it is) has no central focus at this point. It is a grab bag of my refurbing furniture, crafting, my darling kids, my chatty ramblings, etc. But maybe that’s just who I am and isn’t that what a blog is supposed to reflect? Our own personalities, right?
Reading ANYTHING you have to write about, Sophie, is FABULOUS. Cosmetic reviews? Yes, please! Martha stories? Um, who could want to hear anything else!?! Pics of your cute boy? Of course!
Thing is, Sophie, EVERYTHING and ANYTHING you write about is SO entertaining, enlightening, fun and awesome for us readers to read because of YOUR writing! You’re like beyond funny and thought-provoking, my friend!
Okay, I just proofread that it sounds like I am some sort of blogging-life-coach giving a pep talk which sounds cuh-razy! I really meant it all as a compliment because I just adore reading what you’ve got to write!
I love reading your blog because I feel like I am checking in with a friend each morning and having a laugh. I have even found myself telling someone else “My friend Sophie said. . . ” or better yet, “My friend’s Mother in Law, Martha. . .” then quickly moving the conversation along so I don’t have to explain that my special friend lives in my computer. Talk about issues!!
Keep writing, BooMama! We love you just as you are!
I get so much of what you’re saying. I’ve been blogging for 5 years and so much has changed. I love checking in with you.
Cxx
I don’t know what to recommend because I’m going through exactly.the.same.thing. I have no idea what to write about anymore, but I don’t want to stop. And I certainly don’t want you stop!
Like so many already said, I get what you’re saying: my oldest is 8, but he was 4 when I started blogging, so I talk much less about him than I used to. But, I think that’s good and fine – I want there to be comfortable boundaries, b/c I never want him to come back and say “You BLOGGED about that, Mom?”
But..you still have plenty to write about. The daily stuff is worth remembering, especially the way you write it. And Martha and Steinmarts – more, please. More.
I like this post!
I’ve never veered into mommyblogger territory, because I’m VERY private about OT online. I won’t use his full name or show his picture, except on Facebook, where I know everybody personally. And I don’t have the gift (like you have) of making everyday outings seem funny and interesting. I’m not into the home decor stuff – and so much of that looks exactly the same, anyway! – and I’m way too snarky for devotional-type stuff. So I blog about books that I read, and I can confidently say that only three people read my entries. And I’m okay with that. :)
So I don’t know what my point is other than yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve read your blog since 2006 and don’t plan to stop anytime soon. Whatever you choose to write about, I’ll be reading! :)
I think I came to you via the Uganda trip but honestly, much like most of my blogs in my reader, I don’t know for sure how I found you. I am so glad I did though and I wanted to let you know you’re in my favorites and I read those every day come rain or shine. I enjoy the fact that you aren’t all structured and I just never quite know what you are going to talk about but I’m assured always to get a smile and honestly, who could ask for anything more! Love the story about A and hope you find your footing soon but don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re just fine the way you are.
I love your blog Sophie! Never once have a I thought you were boring. I especially love reading the posts that are aren’t about anything in particular. I know you said you aren’t stopping the blog, but just a reinforcement PLEASE DON’T! I look forward to reading it everyday!
I think that’s exactly why my blogging has been so…well…nonexistent. I’m not any of those things you listed in your post, and I’ve gone through a season of life that wasn’t particularly enjoyable, leaving me anything but ‘amusing’. I can’t make light of those things in my writing, and I am just not ‘deep’ enough to be a devotional blog, because even though I’m a pastor’s wife, I don’t take myself that seriously. I guess I just don’t fit in anywhere now that my kids are older and I’m trying to be more respectful of what I write about them.
We shall find our way. Well, I may not, but I know you will. :)
I thought you were closing it down. And I found myself reading ahead with panic in my chest. I absolutely love anything you write. Posts about Martha, The Steinmarts, the way your hair gets dry in the chlorine, the pictures of squirrels passed out on your deck, videos of your dog, how you hurt your foot at the Cottrell’s place (even though that wasn’t funny, but you made it sound funny!) etc. etc. etc. I could read a whole book of your posts. Seriously. And you make me laugh out loud which is very hard to do. Please don’t ever stop blogging because I would be devastated!
I went through the same thing last year after an uninvited blog hiatus. I thought long and hard and changed to almost exclusively a food blog, just to keep a hand in, because I decided my kids’ food pickiness was ok to share, and I liked having the record of things that worked and didn’t for dinners, which has made subsequent planning easier.
And: I’ll tell you the same thing I told Shannon. I’ll miss you if you disappear entirely. But I love hearing from you whenever you have something to share. You made this northern girl feel very welcome in the wilds of the interwebs and I love your stories. So thanks for not shutting down…and thanks for keeping us posted. So to speak.
I less than three you, Sophie. I’m so glad you blog.
I never comment but I always read! :) You were the second blog I ever read back in the day! Enjoy your weekend.
Oh my goodness! Just keep on, keepin’ on! I love every. silly. little. thing. you. write! Your blog is the first thing I read on my computer almost daily (no lie – even before my email) – it starts things off on such a happy fun note and I start my day with a smile on my face! Your posts seriously make me laugh out loud and I often tell my husband about your posts too! I totally understand you wanting to protect your son’s boundaries and that’s cool with me – just keep on with your random, witty stuff about whatever strikes you and we’ll be just fine! So stop being so hard on yourself! And if you’re ever in Austin (home of the ORIGINAL Chuy’s), let me know and I’ll take you out for some of the best TexMex you’ve ever had (and just between you and me, its BETTER than Chuy’s! – but we can go to Chuy’s too) and we’ll laugh until we pee our pants… :) Much love to you BooMama!
Amy in Austin, TX
I was a little worried there, Sophie. If you stop blogging, I may lose the will to read anything.
It doesn’t matter how often you write or what you write about. It’s always GREAT.
Right there with you. Except my response has been to completely ignore my blog (going on two months now). sigh… Not sure what the future of blogging is for me.
But you’re staying on my feed reader no matter what, so write what you want, when you want, and I’ll read!
I was getting pretty nervous. You and Melanie are my A blogs. It seems like a few of my B blogs were taking breaks or quitting. *Sniff* but I’ll live. But it would have been a blow if you quit. I don’t care what you talk about….(One of my favorites was the trip to Stein Mart where you found the Ole Miss T shirts), just love your voice.
Wait. I meant Miss State. Not Ole Miss. Sacrilege, I know! Please do not block me from reading your blog.
Many blogs are information/help driven. Others have blogs that are personality driven. Even Pioneer Woman, though she offers food, photography, etc., is personality driven. It is PW herself that we all buy in to. And so it is with you. I bought in to you two years ago. I did shut my own blog down but that is because God told me to and I pretty much do whatever He says. So, BooMama, don’t leave unless He tells you to. Stay for me. And for the butter, bacon and cream cheese lovers everywhere…
I agree with everyone else whatever you write about is worthy of being read. Every post has something that I can relate to, and I really appreciate your story telling abilities. Sometimes I even have my husband read the martha posts. Take care and keep up the good work.
Hi Sophie,
I hope that you never stop blogging! I have enjoyed your blog for years, but this is my first comment. I just had to write to tell you that your corner of the blogosphere brings me great joy! I love your sense of humor, your kindness, and your delightful story-telling. You are a treasure!
Blessings to you,
Susan
I think I’ve commented here exactly two times in the several-ish years I’ve been reading (sorry about that…it’s my own absurd issue with trying to find the EXACT thing to say. and the more I don’t comment the more I’m self-conscious about it. Clearly I can relate with the having of the issues.) I’ve struggled with blogging myself over the years because of the very thing you bring up here – feeling the need to have some sort of “direction” or “niche”, or even “point”. I sort of hate that about the pressure in the blogging world, and I’d love to just shake off those worries and just WRITE, for pete’s sake.
The thing is, I know I’m not business-savvy or marketing-savvy or much-of-anything-savvy, but to me the appeal of reading blogs is in getting an honest glimpse of a person’s heart. That’s what impacts my life. In recent years I’ve noticed that I’m easily turned off by blogs where someone seems to elevate theme or market or a mass following over just being who they are and allowing that honesty to draw the people that God is gathering to that particular community. I crave authenticity over function. And that is precisely the reason I’m drawn here. Because no matter what topics your posts cover, you are just being you and your heart is pulsing through it all. (That’s supposed to sound encouraging rather than creepy.)
Little corners of the internet like this are what gives me hope for what I love most about the blogging community. You just write about whatever the heck you want, and I guarantee that people will gather.
My heart almost stopped. I did think you were getting ready to say you were shutting down the blog. Thankfully, it was not the case.
I ready your blog every single day. And, love it. You have a delightful way with words and your sense of humor is wonderful. Please don’t stop blogging.
i completely get this post. well, you can always start writing about what you wear like i have started doing. http://afamiliarpath.com/2011/03/what-i-wore-on-the-three-days-i-got-dressed-in-the-past-seven-days/
it’s both humbling and humiliating.
or you could share your twitter expertise. i did that too.
http://afamiliarpath.com/2011/03/twitter-what-do-i-say/
So, I didn’t take the time to read all of the 42 comments so far, so I may just be repeating……
Just keep on blogging! Don’t worry about the stats, the “ins” and the “expected” about blogging. Just write what’s on your mind. Be sensitive to the little man, but please keep sharing.
I love reading your thoughts!
Have a great week!
Roan
I totally get this. I was worried that people thought I loved my daughter more than my son because I was posting more about her. But it’s because, like you said, he is at the age where I feel uncomfortable sharing as much. Also, you and Melanie have been models for so many of us bloggers. We’re all really grateful for the laughter and encouragement along the way. Thanks for sharing your lives with us.
Oh, Sophie! I’m grateful that you’re willing to share your heart with us. Sweet Sister, I want you to know how much I’m blessed by just visiting your blog. I completely and totally understand the whole trying to find your blogging identity. My humble little blog has been the home of such a place. I struggled for quite a while. For me, for now, I came to the realization that I did not need to pressure myself to write on a regular or frequent basis. However, I need to be at liberty to write when I feel led or just the desire to do so. Sometimes it’s funny four-year-old Sophie stuff from around here, sometimes it’s a whole lot of nothin’ and sometimes it is exactly what I feel He is leading me to write. No matter, I just wanted to be free in my blogging. And I think we bloggers all know that can be easier said than done
I’ve come to appreciate my blog for what it is. A very humble little blog read by ones of people every day. ;)
Sophie, what I love is that you are just YOU! It’s you we love! It’s you that we are coming back here for. If “you” means you are at point where the daily life details that mostly involve your little man will have to cut back some because of who you are as a mother and who he is–then I am so completely happy that you are just being YOU.
I love your wit. I don’t want you to grow a new personality. ;) I want you feel liberty to share even the sad stuff that is, “if” you feel liberty. I suppose when you’re blog has been a very witty, upbeat part of the blogging community and can probably be uncomfortable writing about some of the raw stuff. And you may never want to do that.
The point is, you be free in what you write. Don’t second guess yourself. Even through our blogging, even when we may look back and say, “well, I would do that differently now,” well, that’s just a reflection on our humanity.
And now I’m rambling. See, you are by far the only blogger who thinks she rambles. Not that you ramble. Not at all. I’m rambling.
I’m so grateful for your blog. And I’m so glad I’ve had the opportunity to meet you in person if only for that brief moment in New Orleans at Beth Moore. I’m so grateful for YOU!
Put some fresh flowers on your blog and I bet it’ll bring you a smile!
Love you bunches!
BooMama,
I haven’t read all of these comments. I’m sure they are all reminding you how loved and appreciated you are for your wit and candor and enthusiasm for things deserving such. You make me proud of my city – not everything does, you know. But, you show me how to live and talk with grace in a world that sometimes is not so very interested in the things I am as a woman or a Christian. I love that you are nobody’s fool and no push over on things that matter, like people “over there” and problems that have no quick fixes but cannot be ignored either, at least not in Jesus’ name.
You are a hero and example to me. Everyday, you make me laugh or think deeply and carefully about just who I am and what my life’s energies are focused upon. I don’t care if you just give us deals of the week at Publix or the Pig, or if you talk about what growing in your garden or what’s new and beautiful in a shop on The Curve. Hearing your words, knowing you are there, helps me, pushes me, won’t let me forget things that we have both seen and the subsequent responsibilities that we share.
Oh, Boo Mama! Sorry you’re having a hard time. For the record, you’re just so funny and witty that it really doesn’t matter what you write about. Even the stuff that has absolutely nothing do to with anything I like makes me laugh and laugh.
I get this. Hoo boy. I’m such a do-it-all-wrong blogger, but I can’t not do it. And my girls are 10, 8, and 5, and I used to blog about them ALL the time, and I’ve pulled waaaay back without really even realizing it. I share a lot of the funny things my 5yo says, but not the older two, and I sometimes wonder if people think I like her the best (boo). I will ask the older two sometimes, “Can I blog about this?” and they mostly say yes.
Anyway. I think you know how much I like you. And I sure hope you stick around. For life. :)
p.s. We had fried chicken for dinner right before I read this. :)
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