Archives for June 2011

An Exciting Miss Mississippi Update

I have the best news. Or at least it’s the best news to me.

It’s no big secret that I have long been borderline obsessed with the Miss Mississippi pageant.

Why? BECAUSE IT’S A PAGEANT THAT MEANS SOMETHING.

And I really don’t even know what that means, by the way. But I feel it way down deep in my soul.

Anyway, tonight I realized that I can actually embed the live video of the pageant finals right here on my blog, and I plan to do just that this Saturday night (July 2nd) around 7:45 pm central time. That way we can watch together and visit in the comments. I’ve been thinking about doing a Twitter party, but those get pretty annoying for people who aren’t participating, so I think this is a much better solution.

And yes, I realize that there may only be four to seven of y’all who actually show up to watch the pageant with me. That is totally understandable since people have families and responsibilities and other things to do that do not involve bedazzled evening gowns.

But I think the four to seven of us who watch together will have a ball. We can make predictions, analyze evening wear, keep our mouths shut during swimsuit because WHO AMONG US HAS ROOM TO CRITICIZE and clap our hands like crazy during the talent competition.

And listen. I know that some pageants have gotten all fancy and high-falutin’, but Miss Mississippi is not one of them. It’s just HOME. So bring your AquaNet, your sequins and your best rendition of “On My Own” from Les Miserables.

We’re gonna have ourselves a mighty good time.

The Fashion Crazies

A little over a year ago Melanie and I signed up or signed on or agreed or whatever you want to call it to be the emcees for a new women’s event called .MOM (pronounced “dot mom”). It’s September 23-24 here in Birmingham – and up until recently, it’s been far enough away that I haven’t had to think about it very much.

(If that last sentence sounds like I might be just a wee bit terrified about the whole thing, it should. Because I am.)

(And last summer I almost called our friend Paige – who’s coordinating .MOM – about 16 different times to tell her that I’d changed my mind and therefore would not be able to participate.)

(I thought that saying the word “therefore” in my excuse would make it sound very official.)

(But one day in the car, when I was *thisclose* to calling Paige, the little man piped up from the backseat and said, “Mama, did you know it’s a sin to shrink back?”)

(And I said, “What?”)

(And he said, “It’s a sin. To shrink back. It’s in this book I’m reading.”)

(And I said, “WELL, FINE.”)

(And then I said, “What are you reading back there? HEBREWS?)

Anyway, now it’s (almost) July, and .MOM is sort of right around the corner, and in just a couple of weeks Mel and I have to go to Nashville for some meetings and pow-wows and whathaveyous about the (FINGERS CROSSED) witty banter for which we are responsible. And we also have to film some video.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

Oh, I could type it A THOUSAND TIMES and that still wouldn’t equal the number of times that word echoed in my head yesterday.

Because listen: the prospect of VIDEO is a tough one for a girl whose preference for behind-the-scenes is STRONG.

STRONNNNNNNNNG.

So, given all of that, I spent a chunk of yesterday looking for clothes that might work for the video. Keep in mind that I don’t have the faintest idea what works for video, but I figured that if I could find something that made me feel sort of cute then that was probably a good sign. Since I already have a fairly decent assortment of Maude-type apparel, I feel good about my layering options, but I really wanted to find a couple of pretty, feminine tops, some new jeans and a cute pair of wedges.

NO PRESSURE.

Needless to say, Steinmart(s) was my first shopping stop. The first few things I tried on reminded me that there’s a fine line between embellished and Bedazzled, but in the end, Steinmart came through with some decidedly un-Bedazzled tops. I really do think that the Steinmart that’s closest to our house is the greatest Steinmart in all the land.

I also found a couple of things at Kohl’s, but sometimes shopping at Kohl’s stresses me out because there’s the “retail” price and then the sale price and then the Power Price and then the extra 10% off that you get if you stand in front of a cashier and do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself around. Our Kohl’s was advertising an extra $10 off a purchase of $50 or more, and after the check-out girl rang up my stuff, I kept waiting to see an additional $10 come off my total. But then she explained that the extra $10 was in the form of Kohl’s Cash, and I could use my Kohl’s Cash the next time I was in the store and, you know, buying more stuff.

This is an excellent illustration of D’s theory that people can spend a fortune trying to save money.

I tried on a few pairs of jeans, but I didn’t have much luck. I found a pair at Steinmart that fit pretty well in the legs but created a muffin top so magnificent that I was tempted to christen it with a name. Honestly, I would have been horrified if I hadn’t been so tickled. I should have known not to try them on; they were low-rise jeans, and low-rise jeans are the enemy of those of us who are shaped like apples. I’m a classic-rise girl. I need to embrace that.

The search for jeans will continue this weekend, I reckon. I’m ordering a couple of pairs that I found online, but since they won’t be here until next week, maybe I’ll discover Jeans Magic in the meantime.

Jeans Magic is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? So hard to find, but so glorious once you get there. And a good pair of jeans – well, I can’t help but think that they’ll make the whole VIDEO thing a little less daunting.

And now that I have my permanent crown, at least I no longer have to worry about my misplaced tooth.

This is, I feel, a step in the right direction.
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The Big Boo Cast, Episode 21

bigboobuttonsm.jpg

Melanie and I recorded this one yesterday morning.

Right after I’d consumed two very strong cups of coffee.

So I’m afraid that I’m a little bit WOUND UP, and for that I do apologize.

As usual, this particular podcast is a total hodge podge of topics; we (very! enthusiastically!) go from Southern accents to The Bachelorette to politics to music videos to fashion to memorable Miss Mississippi talents and even more stuff that I can’t remember.

So all that to say: if you enjoy random, WELCOME.

You can click here to listen. Or here. Or, as always, you can subscribe on iTunes if you’re feeling particularly fancy.

Crowning Glory

So.

Yesterday afternoon I remembered that the 2011 Miss Mississippi pageant is going to be broadcast live on the web this Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

You have no idea how deeply this bit of information touches my heart. Because the Miss Mississippi pageant isn’t just a pageant – it’s an institution. In fact, when I lived in Mississippi, we would have Miss Mississippi parties on the final night of the pageant and hoot & holler just like it was a football game.

IT’S A PAGEANT THAT MEANS SOMETHING, PEOPLE.

In fact, in some deep, dark recesses of some deep, dark cabinet, I actually have VHS tapes of Miss Mississippi pageants from 1989 (-ish) to 1996 (-ish). It’s a treasure trove of memories, especially in terms of the talent competitions. There’s baton twirling, ventriloquism, xylophone playing, magic acts – really, it’s almost more joy than I can take. So good.

I would encourage you to tune in. Don’t miss a blessing.

In other news, I thought I’d update y’all on my ongoing dental drama since it seems to be a theme in the summer of 2011.

A couple of weeks ago my temporary crown popped off – AGAIN. I was out of town at the time, so I used one of the quick fixes my dental hygienist suggested and figured I’d be good until I got home. Sure enough, I called my dentist first thing that Monday morning – only to find out that the office would be closed all week while the staff attended continuing education classes.

Which was really no help at all.

Late in the week one of the girls from the office returned my call and said that everything should be fine, and since my permanent crown should be in the next week (which would have been last week), I could probably just make do with the quick fixes as long as I wasn’t having any trouble with the tooth.

Well.

The dentist called me again this past Wednesday to tell me that the permanent crown was in and to call them for an appointment. The only problem was that I spent most of last Wednesday on the road; I drove to my hometown to pick up my mama so that she could come back here and stay with the little man while I was in Lincoln and D was at work. Thursday and Friday weren’t options for an appointment because I was going to be out of town, so clearly the permanent crown was going to have to wait a few days. Sure enough, when my flight left Thursday morning, the temporary crown and I made the trip to Lincoln together. Since it was holding on and fighting the good fight, I did my part in terms of trying to keep it affixed and also in terms of avoiding crunchy and/or sticky foods.

Oh, my temporary crown and I were very considerate of each other. I like to think that we’d forged a real friendship.

The temporary crown and I got back in town late Saturday night, and quite frankly we were exhausted. Sunday morning I noticed that the crown felt a little loose-y goose-y, so I actually took it off before I ate breakfast. It was as precious a moment as you might imagine, and I felt that it was a special way to remind my husband how much he’d missed me when I was gone. I mean, nothing really says Fourteen years later, I’d still marry you all over again like popping a temporary crown off of a back molar and then gingerly placing the crown on a napkin before you bite into a McDonald’s sausage biscuit.

Who says romance is dead?

Anyway, as best I can tell I forgot ALL ABOUT that temporary crown after I ate breakfast. Didn’t give it another thought, really, until I was fixing lunch and realized Oh, my. I think my crown is missing. I looked for it everywhere. I couldn’t fathom that I’d thrown it away, especially since I’ve been trying to be so careful with it, but apparently that’s exactly what I did. And after I’d searched the kitchen for the 18th time, I looked at D and said, “Well, I guess that’s it. I lost it. Or threw it away. Or something. Because I can’t find it anywhere.”

“So am I to understand that you’re 41 years old and have in fact misplaced and/or thrown away one of your teeth?” he asked.

“That’s exactly right,” I replied. “I’ve never been more proud.”

And for the record, I never found it. I get the permanent crown this afternoon.

It won’t be quite as pretty as the one that the new Miss Mississippi gets Saturday night, but FINGERS CROSSED that it’s a keeper.

Checking In

Yesterday I flew to Lincoln, Nebraska, so I’ll be doing lots of blogging here this weekend. Feel free to stop by early and often. Or, you know, once. Whatever suits your fancy.

Also.

I know that it’s not exactly a surprise, but nobody here sounds like I do. It makes me feel like my Southern accent is some sort of foghorn. I say words, and people hear this:

I may need to enlist the services of an interpreter so that I can communicate with others more effectively. I can’t blame people for not being able to understand me; after all, I say things like “foel” instead of “foil,” “windah” instead of “window,” “Fridee” instead of “Friday.” I’m a strange-talking visitor in the land of straight-talking midwesterners.

But.

Last night I was in the hotel lobby when I saw a guy wearing an Ole Miss cap. He was with a pretty large group of people, and when we were waiting for the elevator, I said, “Do you go to Ole Miss?”

He grinned and said, “Yes ma’am, I do.”

I said, “Well. I went to Mississippi State.”

And everybody in his group died laughing. They totally understood the rivalry. Turns out that they live in Memphis, and for just a split second, everything sounded like home.

Have a great weekend, y’all!
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