Because You Can’t Fight Your Calling

Some people blog so that they can encourage you in the faith.

Others want to show you how to have a more warm and welcoming home.

And some folks love nothing more than sharing recipes that will make feeding your family easier.

But me?

Well, I consider it my personal mission to keep you abreast of the latest developments in the field of snack crackers.

Yes. I know. It is an intimidating assignment. But sometimes the Lord calls us to uncomfortable places, my friends.

And listen. The last week has been rife with opposition as far as snack crackers are concerned, as evidenced by the fact that a certain eight year-old recently asked me to please buy Cheese Nips at the grocery store. I was totally puzzled by his request since everybody knows that Cheez-Its are far superior to Cheese Nips, so I said, “Hey, buddy – I think you meant Cheez-Its. The ones that we usually get.”

“No, Mama,” he replied. “I really did mean Cheese Nips. I think they’re cheesier. And better.”

I stood still as a stone for a second, and then the emotion of the moment took over.

“I’VE FAILED!” I cried. “I’VE FAILED AS A MOTHER! I HAVE A CHILD WHO DOESN’T APPRECIATE THE CHEEZ-IT! A CHILD WHO CHOOSES CHEESE NIPS! I’VE FAILLLLLLLLLLLED!”

And then I collapsed in a heap in my kitchen and was only brought back to consciousness when my husband opened a fresh box of Cheddar Jack Cheez-Its and waved them under my nose.

The little man and I really did have a big laugh about the whole Cheese Nips vs. Cheez-Its debacle, and I think he’s since fallen under fresh conviction about the error of his ways. But then – THEN – the most unexpected thing happened. A few days after we set the record straight about our cheese cracker preferences (I recognize that everybody has the freedom to make their own cheese cracker choices, but as for me and my house, we will purchase the Cheez-Its), we were in the Walmarts and saw something that we’d never seen before.

They’re Ritz Munchables Pretzel Rounds. I was immediately intrigued, because was it a cracker? Or a pretzel? Or a cretzel? Or a pracker? I NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.

So we bought a box. And OH, MY. I picked the Cheesy Sour Cream & Onion flavor because honestly that particular flavor combination seemed so wrong that it had to be right, and can I just tell you that THEY ARE DELICIOUS? They’re very crackery on the front end, almost to the point that you can envision eating them with a slice of cheese, but then suddenly the pretzel part kicks in and your mouth gets a little confused in the most delightful way because guess what? YOU’RE TOTALLY EATING A CRETZEL.

I haven’t found any sort of dip situation that would be complimentary to the Ritz Munchables – at least not to this flavor – but they’re so tasty on their own that you don’t miss the dip. They remind me of these really good seasoned oyster crackers that my mama makes sometimes, and there’s an element of Chicken In A Biscuit, too. But I’m telling you: it’s that cracker-to-pretzel metamorphosis that really makes these prackers special. I will most definitely buy them again.

Have y’all tried them? And if there’s another cracker / pretzel / salty snack food that you’ve tried recently, BY ALL MEANS share the name of it with the class. Don’t hide your snack cracker light in a bushel – let it shine!

And all God’s people said, “Amen.”

And they also said, “Pass those crackers.”

Or at least I like to think that they did.

Share:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email

Comments

  1. Oh my word. You crack me up! Cretzels..I die. I am laughing as quiet as I can in the library. My daughter and I recently had the Cheez-Its v Cheese Nips discussion and we are in the Cheez-Its camp. My husband loves Chicken in a Biscuit.

    I prefer the 100 calorie snack packs of chocolate covered pretzels. That way I get my salty and my sweet. You have to have one with the other of course.

    Have a great day Boo Mama!

  2. Susan in indiana says:

    Boo Mama – Thank you for tackling the big issues. It is a tough job but, alas, someone must do it. God bless!

    • Thank you for keeping us up-to-date on the latest food trends! I’m with “little man,” Team Cheese Nips all the way!!!!

  3. He seriously wanted a Cheese Nip over a Cheez-It? I would have had the same kind of fit. I love Flip Sides – the Town House version of a cretzel, if you will. Jalepeno Pimento Cheese goes great with them. And for the sweet lover, those new pretzel M&M’s are amazing.

    • Might I add that YES we love The Flipsides, but have only fallen under the spell of the “Cheddar” variety. The other flavors are just, well, eh.

  4. Wheat Thins Stix, honey wheat. You’ll thank me later.

    • YES!!!!! LOVE THEM!!!!

      • Amen! Those things are so tasty I had to stop buying them! (And I’m SO glad your sweet little man saw the error of his Cheese Nips ways… Cheez-Its are definitely far superior, and the white cheddar ones are also divine!)

  5. Well, the good news is he didn’t ask for Better Cheddars. Those are firmly third-placers in my book.

  6. Oh My Stars that cracked me up!
    I’ve been so tempted to try those, but figured they’d be really good and seriously do I need one more cracker type item to narf on. I promise you the answer is a resounding No. But now you’ve tempted me to much and I’ll be forced to try them. You’ve lead me to the dark BooMama.

  7. I am so thrilled that you’ve found your calling. Not many can take on this task with such gusto. :)

    I, sadly, have no cracker snacks to share. Problem is, if I buy the cracker snacks, they last a grand total of 1.5 days in my house. (I have ZERO CONTROL). Though I am a sucker for a good pretzel dipped in Nutella. (I can’t keep Nutella around either. ZERO CONTROL. ZERO.)

  8. My 6 yo girl is a fan of the Cheese Nips, but ew, gross. I think it is the SpongeBob shape that lures her away from the good stuff. And I just sent a box of the plain Munchables to the hubs in Afghanistan. He is a cracker fan in general so I hope he enjoys them as much as y’all did.

  9. You are so funny!! This made me laugh so hard because I was in the cracker or snack aisle in our Wal Marts and saw those cretzels and this will show you how your calling has affected my life, I thought of you! I have not tried them but I will now. Of course, I also think of you when I pass a Steinmarts, or see bacon. Oh, & Amen! Pass the crackers.

  10. Pringles Honey Stix are super yum. Sweet and salty and crunch in every bite. Love.

  11. Cheez-Its!! Now mind you, I never used to care one way or the other but my daughter showed me the error of my ways. Cheese Nips are greasy!! Another fave? Whole grain Wheat Thins – oh my word….

  12. I enjoy crackers and all, but I’m usually more of sweets kind of girl. All of this changed when I tried and fell in love with Wheat Thins Stix. Every variety I’ve tried has been amazing, but the Fire Roasted Tomato ones are divine. I promise you’ll enjoy them.

  13. My oldest boys said the same thing you said – Cheez Its are MUCH better than Cheese Nips.

    Cheez Its are EXPENSIVE. I’m a couponer and these Cheese Nips are much cheaper – I make my kids eat those…lol

  14. About 8 months after our wedding, I discovered that my husband doesn’t like Cheez-its. It was a sad day. I’m working to reform him.

  15. Have you ever had white cheddar cheese Cheez Its? The ultimate guilty-out-of-the-box treat! I get them for my kids and have to try and resist the temptation to have a few!

  16. Crackers are crack for me. The Triscuit cracked pepper and olive oil are a wonderful compliment to almost all cheeses. Ritz crackers or Club crackers when dip is the star. I have not had Chicken and Biscuits in forever , and now am craving them.

    Cheez- Its- I buy the low fat kind, and drink it with a diet coke. BECAUSE it is healthy…

  17. Those crackers are delicious! We are Cheez It fans, but I also enjoy the occassional Cheese Nip :) I agree with Zoom…Triscuit cracked pepper & olive oil crackers are addicting.

  18. I have had a weepy morning (no good reason, just that hormones have completely seized control of my almost-37-weeks-pregnant body) and this made me LAUGH SO HARD….thank you so much for your wit and your humor. You are just the best and I thank you for being so awesome.

  19. This is why we love your blog and flock here by the masses.

    Thank you for leading us in the right direction. “Many are called, but few are chosen.”

    …ha!! :)

  20. Only you could make an entire blog post about crackers so entertaining and spiritual, I might add. And now, I may have to leave work to try these new cretzels that you speak of. :)

  21. Asiago Cheez-its. They are divine. I am considering licking the plastic box liner for the crumbs. I kid you not.

  22. Now see, THIS is what we need to start putting in that communion plate every Sunday. I think Jesus would appreciate the correlation between a cheesy sour cream and onion cretzel and His body. I think He is worthy of all flavor options, don’t you?

    *cue lightning bolt aimed at my head*

  23. OK- you said the magic word. Chicken in a b Biscuit. A household favorite ( or should I say boat hold favorite???? it is a staple for us when we go out on the boat). We like to use, yes wait for it….wait for it….Easy Cheese on the Chicken in a Biscuit. You know, the cheese that you get out of a can as if it were decorative icing? This is not a new thing for us, more like a boating tradition. Now that my little man is 3 years old, I am actually finding it to be a learning opportunity as I spray cheese the crackers with numbers anbd letters. Although, he really prefers it when I do jeeps and monster trucks.Now that boat season is almost over, I am most grateful to get your suggestion of the cretzel. We need something to help us get over the lake for the winter:)

    • The squirt cheese in a can with Triscuits has always been a part of our non perishable food for our hurricane kit! And my late husband would always make the first letters of the kid’s names with the cheese. Good times!

  24. Tomato-Basil Wheat Thins. And I am definitely in the Cheez-it camp. Classic Cheez-its.

    • LOVE the Tomato-Basil Wheat Thins! Try dipping them in Philadelphia Cream Cheese/Garden Vegetable dip! Heaven!

  25. i fully support you in your calling because otherwise i would a)not be laughing out loud right now and b)i wouldn’t know the wonders of cretzels. good thing i have a trip planned to the store today so i can partake.

    • Jennifer G says:

      YES! We loooooooove Almond Nut Thins at our house! My daughter likes the BBQ flavor the best. I prefer the Smokehouse or Cheddar if I’m eating them plain, but the plain flavor or Sea Salt taste delicious with hummus!

    • Yes, yes! THese are SO good!

  26. LOL! For real. Not just in theory… Thanks for that!

  27. You said prackers.

    Made me so happy.

  28. Amen and amen to Cheez-its’ superiority. (Really didn’t know where that apostrophe needed to be.) Have you discovered the deliciousness that is Special K sour cream and onion cracker chips? My dip-fanatic husband has declared them great without dip. And don’t let the Special K part throw you. They don’t taste like cardboard AT ALL!

    See you next weekend at .MOM!

  29. I have recently come to know and love Roasted Garlic Triscuits. Now it should be stated that normally, I am not a huge triscuit fan. They remind me a bit of eating hay that has dried up on a pasture. But I am telling you, these are legitimate contenders in this cracker pageant we are having here.

    Their talent portion of the pageant involves lingering around on your breath for at least 6 hours. But, my word…. yum.

  30. I’m with you on the Cheez-it-gate…but I’ll definitely need to try these cretzels

  31. Thank you for setting your little man straight on the Cheezits issue! I don’t even know WHY they bother making Cheese Nips–they are SO inferior!

    I have a SERIOUS addiction to Cheezits….can you tell? =)

  32. These sound deeeelicious but sadly I will probably have to wait for a trip south of da border to take in all their yumminess!

    On a mission now. Would it be wrong to drive 3 hours to the nearest southern neighbour to try these out? I should say not! A road trip might have been born!

  33. Have you tried Pepperidge Farm’s Sesame Sticks? Oh. My. Word. They are sooooooo good.

    The box is empty 5.2 seconds after we rip it open. Unfortunately, all 3 kids love them, too, so I’m forced to share.

    I don’t think inhaling an entire box of crackers can be considered a snack. I mean, once you pass the halfway point, you’re obligated to finish the box. You can’t leave a puny half-box in the pantry. And once you’re done, well, it’s really more of a meal.

    • I am with you! I completely LOVE the sesame sticks. Unfortunately my grocery store is no longer carrying them…WHY???? I am on a mission to find another supplier for my snacking addiction.

  34. Thank you for the chuckle. Cretzels? Prackers? I’ll be giggling in the snack aisles of Publix/Walmarts/Winn Dixie for months now. Months, I say!!

  35. I was raised in a Cheese Nip family. :)

    I was thinking that if there is a “classic” or unflavored version of the cretzel, maybe a good spinach dip might compliment that nicely, don’t you think? In fact, that sounds so good to me I might actually go to the Kroger today and pick up that little combo.

  36. New to your blog and I totally crack me up in the morning!! Keep up the good job.
    I am a major Cheez-It fan and also can’t resist Chicken In A Biscuit either.

  37. I love Chicken in a Biscuit crackers! I think they are my all time favorite! And I cannot thank you enough for your humor. You remind us all to laugh over the every day little things…like snack crackers. :)

  38. I’m so happy you keep me up to date on this type of thing….I can get lost in the cracker,snak isle…Sadly for my waistline I can’t like any trisket(I’m thinking they would be healthy with all that manner of twigs and bark which I can not eat..I just can’t) but when you talk chickin a biscuit well now you are talking my kind of crackers…But the BEST cracker EVER ….Bacon Thins….anybody remember those……I never see them anymore,,,sad so sad !

  39. And, another day with Boo Mama, another laugh, which I once again needed. There are people in my house packing up all my stuff and ripping out the flooring and baseboards. And guess where I am? Getting my hair done because my husband will be home in 16 days and I can’t have roots down to my ear lobes. And I would love some Parmesan and cheddar Cheez-it’s. They are our all time favorites. Thanks, Sophie, for lighting the path to yummy snack choices.

  40. Does anyone remember Twigs? We always had these in our house. They were little sesame seed sticks. I called them Hugs until I was in college and one day actually read the box. My dad used to eat them all the time and all I can figure out is that he would make me give him a hug before he would share with me. :) I actually thought the box said Hugs and I guess never paid close attention and then realized that was probably not a normal kind of name for a snack cracker/stick. HA! They were yummy and I just googled them to see if they are still available… sadly they are discontinued. I wanted to share those with my own children, they bring back great memories.

    I grew up in a Cheese Nip house as well, what a travesty (the part of the definition that says ‘a grotesque likeness’). I have now seen the Cheez-it light!

    • Love the Twigs! Where have they gone?

      • I wish they had not discontinued them! So yummy. I do have a favorite that is still available. I agree with others on here, cracker pepper and olive oil triscuits. They are delicious with some cream cheese and Pickapeppa sauce. That stuff is one of the wonders of the world with some cream cheese. DELISH! Another one of the treats my mom use to give us, except she used Ritz crackers.

  41. Too dang funny! Have you tried the “barely naked” pita chips. You must. Delicious!

  42. I need to buy some to eat while LSU beats Mississippi State:)

  43. Tomato-Basil Wheat Thins dipped in Philadelphia Cream Cheese/Garden Vegetable! Pure Heaven!!!

  44. OK, y’all, even tho you can buy spicy flavored Cheezits, they are not near as good as these:

    In a large bowl mix well:
    2/3 cup canola oil
    1 envelope dry Ranch dressing mix
    1&1/2 T. red pepper flakes
    1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

    Add 2 (1 pound each) boxes Cheezits. (Sometimes hard to find this size; ok to use a bit more)

    Mix until crackers are well coated.

    Store in airtight container.

  45. Just found your blog through someone who said you were funny! And yes you are funny! Love your posts!!!

  46. I LOVE the cretzels and and I love to read you! What a hoot! you have made my day!

  47. A in Toronto says:

    Bugles. Caution: They may actually contain crack.

    And Tostitos Artisan Roasted Garlic and Black Bean Tortilla Chips. Om nom nom…

  48. When I grow up, I want to be able to blog like you. You are FUNNY! Totally inspired by your cracker/pretzel/cretzel/prackel post. I must find these. My boys would love them I think. And for the record, we are Cheez-It people fans too.

  49. I do enjoy those. I like the Buttery flavor too. And I will sometimes buy generic crackers, except for Ritz. There is no store brand substitute that comes close.

  50. We. Only. Do. Cheez-its. On a side note, if they make plain cretzels they would probably be good with shrimp dip or something with a little texture.
    This was my first time here, and I felt like I was at home. Lol.

  51. If I had your cell phone number I would have totally texted you a photo the other day. And you would have thought I was a weird-o, because we are only pretend BFF’s in my head, but there’s a BUCKET of Cheez-It’s at Walmart in Columbus, MS. A BUCKET. It looks like one of those giant popcorn buckets at the movie theatre! I got excited for you.

  52. Please don’t ever hoard your craziness, it is a gift meant to be shared with the masses.

    That is why I have been here since the beginning…….

    Johna

  53. Please don’t ever hoard your craziness, it is a gift meant to be shared with the masses!

    This is why I have been a follower since the beginning of this blog!

    Thank You,
    Johna in Indiana

  54. I saw Cheez something crackers at walmart in a gallon bucket. Is that even necessary???? It was almost $6!

  55. i SOOO needed a laugh..yup thiS did it!

    hilariouS!

  56. Call me boring but I like the plain ole Wheat Thins myself. And Graham crackers.

  57. Can I give a Big AMEN to a woman who knows something about cheese crackers? You are so right. Cheez – its are far superior to those other crackers. In fact, I just wont even mention the name. LOL!
    You crack me up with your cracker/pretzel humor. So glad we can count on you to keep the bloggy world straight on the snack cracker situation.

  58. My new absolute favorite -so good I hide them from the rest of the family – is … The pretzel slims everything pretzel. OMG… SOOOO good!

  59. Oh, that was just delightful!

  60. Awww, I sure miss that lil boy!!!! Tell him aunt Janie will get him ANY cheesy cracker he wants!!! Xoxo

  61. My saintly husband returned from the Walmarts yesterday with some Cheez-Its. He knows I love me some Cheez-Its. But he got pepper jack Cheez-Its and oh.my.word. they are delicious! Try them if you have not!
    What I love most is that all I wrote on the list was “crackers” and this is what he came back with. I think I’ll keep him.

  62. Definitely Cheez-Its over Nips! Haven’t tried cretzels yet…Nabisco needs you on their marketing team. :-) yet My little one eats better than I do, and I get Earth’s Best Crunchin’ Crackers in cheddar for her in Elmo and Big Bird shapes. I actually like them better than Cheez-It’s, but they are a little pricier because they have organic, healthy ingredients. Who knew that snack crackers could actually be good for you?!

  63. Not only do you keep us informed and enlightened regarding cheese crackers; you also guide us in our other retail endeavors. I went shopping today and, for the first time, went to THE STEIN MARTS. I swear to the sweet Lord above, I thought of you almost the entire time I was there. I have never met you, only read of your exploits on this blog – and yet I felt YOUR PRESENCE with me as I pawed through the clearance racks and tried on a fairly calm pair of skinny jeans. Then I went to the fancy BOUTIQUE section and got even more excited.

    The internet’s a crazy thing. I never would have gone to Stein Mart if you didn’t blog about it. Maybe you should get a commission.

    I spent $400, which is ridiculous. But I had to bring it home to show my daughter, a fashion diva. I’m taking a bunch of it back tomorrow.

    So…thanks. You rock.

  64. Eating them right now. woww they are soooo good and addictive!