Miss America Viewing Party 2012

All righty, everybody. I’ll go ahead and warn you that I’m going to update this post an obnoxious amount while the pageant is on, so between my wordiness and incoming comments, we’re all going to have to refresh the page from time to time.

I know. It’s not exactly a fancy plan, but it’ll do, hopefully.

See y’all in a few minutes!

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As a point of order, I would just like to mention that I washed my face a few minutes ago but was so excited that I forgot to put on moisturizer. So I made it back to the TV in time for the pageant, but my face is now about to crack open. MISS AMERICA IS WORTH THE SACRIFICE.

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Oh, wait – I am unfamiliar with this off-site introductory business. I LOVE MISS ARKANSAS (“called a hog”). These puns are magnificent.

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I think the Las Vegas Visitors’ Bureau had a say in how the introductions are done. And yes, Miss Idaho totally called herself “a hot potato.” Also: I was unaware that Marky Mark is a sweet treat. But BREAK IT DOWN, GIRLS, with the dance moves.

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I know I’m partial, but Miss Mississippi looks fantastic. And listen – all these old-school opening statements (“having fun is always the Maine event,” “from the home state of Nike, here tonight to Just Do It”) are making me clap my hands.

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God bless Chris Harrison. He really is a perfect host, don’t y’all think?

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There’s a Head Judge? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!?!

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Top 15 is silly, but nonetheless, we have Miss Oklahoma, Miss South Carolina, Miss Florida, Miss New York, Miss Iowa, Miss Texas (WHO IS DARLIN’), Miss Virginia, Miss Illinois (“There she creates, there she gives”), Miss Arizona, Miss Alabama (YAAAAAAAAY!), Miss Tennessee (WHO IS ALSO DARLIN’), Miss Wisconsin, (COMMERCIAL BREAK), Miss North Carolina, Miss California (sidenote: I don’t really need for my Miss America to be edgy, nor do I want her to manipulate the media, but I understand that I am old), and Miss Louisiana.

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OH MY WORD THE SWIMSUITS.

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You know what I’d love? A good production number.

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This is sort of like watching The Hills if The Hills took place on a really big stage. With crowns.

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Swimsuit competition? I miss those old one-pieces that looked like they were made of vinyl. And looking at all these six-pack abs reminds us that I’ve got some pimento cheese in the refrigerator. I think I’ll go make me a sandwich.

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I miss the three-point turn.

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I think it might lead to some ish-ahs if you’re eliminated right after the swimsuit competition.

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Three blondes left. The hair color tide, it is a-turnin’.

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Now that is just mean. For girls to have to line up behind the girl they want to stay? OH MY WORD SO MEAN.

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I just said this when I replied to an email, but clearly that whole “stand behind the girl you want to save” thing was designed by a man. A MAN WHO HAS NEVER BEEN A GIRL IN JUNIOR HIGH.

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Dear Miss Illinois: You are gorgeous, but Miss America does not use the phrase “sex appeal.” And I LOOOOOVE Miss South Carolina’s gown.

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Dear Miss Texas: Your gown is perfection.

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A Person Who Shall Remain Unnamed just texted me and said, “Alabowma.” SO GOOD. And I thought everybody looked gorgeous in evening gown, by the way.

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Y’all? Is she dancing to a Prince song?

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Talent: Miss Arizona (cute routine, strange music), Miss Illinois (maybe not the most difficult routine, but certainly better than I could do, you know, EVER), Miss Oklahoma (IRISH STEP DANCE, AMEN), but I’m having a hard time concentrating on the talents because I’m obsessed with the strange facts and can’t stop thinking about how Miss Illinois is AFRAID OF WINDMILLS.

SHE’S AFRAID OF WINDMILLS.

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Miss Texas (very talented at piano as well as her ability to sit gracefully in a dress with a slit cut up to her hip), Miss Wisconsin (some opera something or other), Miss New York (oh, this is my kind of Miss America vocal, yes ma’am), Miss Louisiana (it’s like an Ann Margret number in toe shoes – I don’t mind it – and she ALMOST SWALLOWED A DIAMOND), Miss Tennessee (bonus points for singing something from Cats in Italian), Miss Iowa (You Raise Me Up – a crowd pleaser), Miss California (appears to be LEGIT as far as her ballet skillz are concerned; her interpretation of the black swan was very EDGY, I have to say). :-)

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My prediction for Top 5: Texas, Louisiana, Tennessee, California, Oklahoma – what do y’all think?

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Top 5, for real: Wisconsin, Oklahoma, Arizona, New York, California (I’VE NEVER BEEN LESS ACCURATE). In my humble opinion, Miss Texas and Miss Louisiana should’ve been in the Top 5.

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4th Runner-Up – Miss California
3rd Runner-Up – Miss Arizona
2nd Runner-Up – Miss New York
1st Runner-Up – Miss Oklahoma
Miss America – Miss Wisconsin

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Well, that was just so fun! More fun! It was just so much fun!

Thanks, y’all, for being the best commenters in the whole wide ever. I had the best time with y’all!

(I still can’t believe Texas and Louisiana weren’t Top 5.)

(I’ll try to get over it.)

(‘Night, everybody!)

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Comments

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Yeah…they look super surprised…haha!

  2. I feel this is so wrong – don’t make the eliminated ones choose which of the others to knock out! What happens when one gets waaaay less?!

  3. Total MAYHEM!!!!

  4. This is the dumbest ideas ever!

  5. The girls like AL!

  6. YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

  7. This is not flowing well….

  8. This harassing the contestants while they’re getting ready business is not cool. Let those girls get dressed!

  9. Oh, no. That would be a terrible decision to have to make, to stand behind the one you think should go on.

  10. YES!!!!!! way to go AL!!!!!!!

  11. This is junior high all over again.

  12. LINE UP BEHIND YOUR CHOICE?!!? DO NOT WANT.

  13. That was kinda mean….

    I bet there was some “have I been a nice person” thoughts running through their heads during that one…

  14. Mean is the word I would use, too. Humiliating and embarrassing are a couple other good ones. :(

  15. Well, now that was different!

  16. Umm…flashback to 5th grade kickball on the playground….

  17. Mean is a good way to describe it, BooMama.

  18. I’m not a fan of Brooke Burke’s hot pink shoes with that dress.

  19. BTW–I would totally stand behind you for head judge. You would rock this.
    And any word on which ones are Chi Os?

  20. Carolyn F says:

    I wonder if they’ll do this after evening gown too…

  21. Julie Reynolds says:

    Oh wow, that was great for Alabama but I kinda felt sorry for NC

    • Carolyn F says:

      Exactly — one thing to lose gracefully, but to know you were the contestants LAST choice? Totally unnecessary.

  22. Guess the other contestants weren’t big on CA manipulating the media either.

  23. Mean!

  24. SO MEAN!!!! How tacky is that? Watching it with you in spirit!

  25. OK, it’s half time of the Broncos game (and it’s not going well for Tim and company), so I am here! Have loved reading all y’all’s comments! I too miss the old one pieces! Also miss the old top ten, where we saw all the talent and nobody was eliminated based on the swimsuits.

    From what little I’ve seen so far, I’d say TEXAS and NEW YORK are the top two. I am biased as I live in Texas, but I watched her win the Miss Texas pageant and she’s very talented and well spoken.

    Sorry Mary Margaret didn’t make it-felt like we all helped her win Miss Mississippi with our blogging during the pageant!

    And was so hoping to see Miss Hawaii jump rope. Hopefully her prelim performance shows up opn you tube.

    • I wanted to see her jump rope, too! Thank goodness for youtube. Hopefully!

    • poor tebow..breaks my heart!
      but did you see that john 3:16 focus on the family commercial!

      to that i say to God be the glory!

  26. Did they let Mike Fleiss plan this, too?

  27. Carolyn F says:

    Love the back of Miss Illinois’ dress

  28. Did she really just say that?

  29. Wonder if the founders of the Miss America pageant ever thought that Nikki Minaj would be playing in their pageant one day…

  30. Is it just me, or does anyone else think Miss TN looks like Jessica Simpson?

  31. This describing the gown thing is kinda odd.

  32. Carolyn F says:

    Oh my word Miss Texas has a GORGEOUS dress

  33. I love what Miss California just said about her gown.

  34. JustBetty says:

    Thank you, Sophie! We do not say “sex appeal” or “sexy” on Miss America. [loud buzzer sound!]

    • JustBetty says:

      Ugh. I wrote that *before* Miss Alabama said “sexy”, too. I probably would have given her a pass.

      [And I’m so sorry she picked her evening gown before seeing the sequined top of the same material that all the contestants are wearing. Bless her heart.]

  35. I would not want to wear a gown that reminded me of a Brittney Spears video. Does that make me old?

  36. Miss Alabama looks like she’s wearing a Texas high school Homecoming mum.

  37. AL: bad dress…

  38. Oooooh Illinois – stunning gown.

    SC – simple and classic. Love.

    TX – gorgeous gown as well.

    AL – *gasp*

    There’s something about Wisconsin that strikes me. I can totally see her winning. (Let me apologize now for that kiss of death, sweetheart.)

  39. Dear Miss California, Please stop talking! NOW!!

  40. Elizabeth says:

    Miss TX completely lost my support with her Britney Spears reference. I don’t want to wear anything that resembles B. Spears videos. Ever.

    • Yep, not a good reference to make Miss Texas! Loved her dress tho.

      • Elizabeth says:

        I mean, I’m 21 and grew up having to listen to Britney…and even I didn’t like that reference! WHERE IS THE CLASS?!

  41. Miss California’s dress looks like a sexier version of Pippa Middleton’s Maid of honor dress.

    And I love that Miss Oklahoma’s name is Betty. Rock that old school name.

  42. My rambling evening gown thoughts. I think FL is super cute, but I did NOT like her dress. Not appropriate. Miss TX looks gorgeous. I LOVE her dress. What is with all the “sexy” comments? Miss USA is for sexy. Miss America is for classy girls. That’s a special bow on AL’s dress!

    • Love how you just put that. “Miss USA is for sexy. Miss America is for classy girls.” Couldn’t have put it better.

  43. Sorry, but Miss Alabama’s dress- I do not like that big bow on the shoulder!

  44. Julie Reynolds says:

    Ok, miss Alabama needs to lose that bow!!!

  45. I’m voting for Miss Nebraska for Pres.!

  46. I think Miss Texas won the evening gown, but perhaps I’m biased.

  47. President of the United States. I love it!

  48. Carolyn F says:

    Ooo, maybe Miss Hawaii will be one of the non-finalist talents showcased?

  49. I agree, Sophie, one of the better evening gown events all around.

  50. Miss Texas and Miss Louisiana … it’s a tough call. We will see what the talent brings.
    Oh how I wish there was a baton twirler.

  51. Favorite 3 dresses: Texas, TN and Wisconsin(although I wish it was a color)

  52. I don’t see any ventriloquist’s puppets.

  53. This is ridiculous making them finish getting ready onstage.

  54. I HATE how they have to get ready for talent and then don’t get to perform. I wish they would quit that. I also don’t like that the girls don’t know their order. Not nice!

  55. Carolyn F says:

    She’s a cutie, but I wish she had chosen different music.

  56. I am coveting Miss Illinois’ arms. I’d never wear sleeves.

  57. It just said IL is afraid of windmills. What an odd fear. There’s got to be a story there.

    • And she’s a megalophobic – afraid of large objects. Bless her poor scared little heart.

  58. AFRAID OF WINDMILLS?

    I’m putting that on my new business cards…

  59. JustBetty says:

    Man, this talent portion seems *really* rushed.
    Is it just me?

    Bar Dance. NEXT. Frantic Ballet. NEXT.

  60. It’s like Mr. Roboto in a green tutu.

  61. The ballet always makes me smile.

  62. Elizabeth says:

    Robot in a tutu? EH?!

  63. I like the random facts they have popping up about each of the remaining contestants during their talents.

  64. I thought the same thing! Prince? At Miss A???

  65. Love the Irish dancing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  66. Fellas, she can contra-dance AND give a cow a pedicure. Don’t let her get away!

  67. How would one know they know how to give a cow a pedicure?

  68. Wait? They just cut her off in the middle of the talents?!

  69. Miss Oklahoma wins the battle of the first three dancers!

  70. That is mean! and then to interview her. She’s classy!

  71. Julie Reynolds says:

    I do not like this way of elimination!!

  72. Do not like the exit interview. Poor girl! Let her get off the stage and have a good cry.

  73. I don’t like how they are doing this at all. They are holding water bottles onstage?????

  74. Obviously, a MAN is in charge! Could any of this be meaner?!! I mean, really!

  75. Yes, those facts popping up are random.

  76. Nothing says Miss America like Irish Step Dance.

    (seriously, I think she’s adorable.)

  77. Hate to see Miss Florida gone. Hate the way they did that.

  78. Listening to the iPod on stage – is that SC? Why? Not classy.

  79. Carolyn F says:

    Miss Texas, your dress is gorgeous, but a ponytail?

  80. Julie Reynolds says:

    Miss texas so cute, reminds me of Melanie!

  81. Did TX also wear a black evening gown?

  82. I’m calling it… Irish step dancing is just fancy clogging.

  83. Y’all, this was the marching band show my freshman year in high school. I still have nightmares about “From the New World.”

  84. Carolyn F says:

    I’m sorry, but is the orchestra playing the right song with Miss Texas? Bless her heart, I think she’s talented but the background music is interferring!

  85. MISS TEXAS CAN HULA-HOOP AND PLAY PIANO AT THE SAME TIME?!? WHY IS THAT NOT HER TALENT??!?!??!?!!!

  86. Who on God’s green earth came up with these new formats? Dodgeball team picking, rushed talent, and news tickers. These ladies are handling with style, though.

  87. If Miss Texas can play the piano and hula hoop why didnt she tonight? That is a talent we want to see!

  88. Beautiful pianist!

  89. I love Miss TX, but wish she played without backup music.

  90. “Secretly wishes to swim with dolphins.” Ummm not so secret any more…

  91. I can’t believe Miss Florida for eliminated! I do love Miss Oklahoma though!

  92. YEESH.

  93. Julie Reynolds says:

    She plays a mean piano also!,

    I don’t think those last notes were exactly right…

    • Or some of the first ones and the ones in the middle. And like Emily said, it sounded like she was making it up as she went along.

  94. Carolyn F says:

    OMG technical people, tie dye behind her???

  95. Is she making this song up as she’s singing?

  96. Disneyland? Is this a commercial?

  97. NY’s dress is blending in with her kaleidoscope background. Planned or coincidence?

  98. Oh, Miss New York. Oh, oh, oh.

  99. Carolyn F says:

    Sway, best dance music so far!

  100. It is still a tight race between Miss Texas and Miss Louisiana.