Epiphanic-ish

So here’s what I’ve realized over the course of my bloggy break:

I am absolutely, positively, full-to-the-dadgum-brim sick of myself.

There you have it.

Writing the book has been a bunch of fun (except for the last two weekends, when I have had the worst writer’s block ever and closed the computer and settled in for back-to-back episodes of Chopped All-Stars or Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives or whatever happened to be on Food Network). But I’m not gonna lie: it’s a lot of time to spend in my own head. And it makes me a little bit crazy. Because even after I shut the computer in frustration, I’m still in my head, still trying to figure my way into or out of a story, still trying to convince myself that the book, IT WILL NOT BEAT ME.

So I’ve just been loads of fun to be around. You can’t even imagine. Just think of someone who’s lighthearted and carefree and amusing. Then picture the total opposite of that.

Needless to say, I’d love it if I could get away from myself for a few days. That would be THE MOST FUN.

Anyway. Here are a few items of note. And by “items of note,” I mean “items that are, for whatever reason, on a running loop in my brain.”

– Trisha Yearwood’s new show on Food Network is darlin’.

– While I was watching Trisha Yearwood’s new show, I saw a commercial for The Next Food Network Star. And the commercial said that TNFNS is going to have an all-new format. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I adore Bob Tuschman and Susie Fogleson; I hope they’re not going anywhere.

Smash is a source of frustration in my life. I’ve written blog posts in my head about it (and may wind up writing one for Ree’s entertainment section, now that I think about it). The music is phenomenal. The main characters are, for the most part, pretty compelling. But there are way too many minor characters, and the plot lines are all over the place. I feel like it’s trying so hard – but they could cover half of the material twice as well.

– When this season of Mad Men started, I was a little underwhelmed by the first couple of episodes. But after the last two weeks? SWEET MERCY. Don Draper is a character for the ages, and after last night’s episode, I kept thinking about a saying I heard a long time ago: No matter where you go, you take yourself with you.

– I haven’t been able to get into this season of Survivor at all. I’ve tried, but it’s been a no-go. Anybody else had the same experience?

– Maybe I’ve grown a little too dependent on the TV for decompressing (ya think?), but today, when I read that Giuliana and Bill Rancic are expecting their first baby, I got a little teary-eyed.

– This one is completely unrelated to TV (SHOCKING), but yesterday our pastor preached on Matthew 17, and it was one of those messages that crawled up in my heart and won’t go away. It also reminded me how much I identify with Peter, OH MY WORD.

All righty. That’s it for now. I’m going to spend the rest of the afternoon thinking of how in the sam hill I can get away from myself. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

I’ve missed y’all!

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Comments

  1. I feel that way this week, too. Sick of me :) I want to make a big difference to someone ~ do something not about me! I love Tricia’s show, too! But Ree has to be my favorite!

  2. Um, when I saw the headline about Giuliana and Bill… I squealed. Out loud. Squealed.

    I DON’T KNOW THEM.

  3. I feel EXACTLY the same way about Smash. I really want to like it…but so confusing! But love the music. Can’t wait for the book! Miss ya!!

  4. Hang in there. You can do this thing!!

  5. I feel the same way when I am trying to get some thoughts, that sound so perfect in my head, down on paper…. in fact, I just sat down to write but instead here I am joyfully distracting myself with your blog post about writer’s block! I also use Food Network as Distraction Therapy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it just makes me want to eat everything in my kitchen. Thanks for letting us ‘in’ on your process (see? You’re a Real Writer! You have A Process!).

  6. I’ve been enjoying Survivor this season. I like that it’s all new people. I’d about had it with Colton but things are tame without him around. I think I get a little ‘too’ into it.

  7. Can’t get into Survivor, either. I think they have too many seasons coming one right after another, and it just gets old and stale.

    Loved Tricia’s show. She is comfortable in front of the camera and the food looks so good!

    While I agree that Smash could do with a couple less story lines, it is still my favorite show right now. Well, second fave, after Big Bang Theory. The music and production values are just so outstanding I can over look the shortcomings. NBC has renewed the show for next season, so I am hopeful they’ll get the rough edges sanded off and tighten up the plot some. I think one of the reasons I like it so much is that it’s a pretty unique show, Glee notwithstanding. It takes a pretty honest look at the world of theater while treating us to outstanding musical performances each week. I look forward every week to hearing Megan Hilty and Kat McPhee sing. And Angelica Huston is perfect in her role. And, no one has shown us such great hair as Debra Messing since Connie Britton on FNL…

    Sophie, you and Mel both are in my prayers as you work on your books. Oh, you should read Rick Bragg’s easy in the new Southern Living. Mine just came today and as I read his laments on the death of some Southern things I thought of you and about how you are writing about some of those things and how glad I am you are preserving your stories.

  8. You’d think that spending a lot of time inside your head would be a clarifying experience…but no. It’s a let’s-think-about-all-things-wrong-in-my-life-and-me-me-ME.

    Grr. I relate :)

    • I completely agree with what you just said. I am so sick of focusing on what is wrong with me that I could puke.

  9. I was scrolling through People.com on my lunch break and when I saw the headline, I immediately teared up! I don’t know them, but my stars, am I ever happy for them.

  10. Grandma Pauline is just my personal favorite of this season of Mad Men. Little Sally Draper will be forever warped by the Seconal and butcher welding antics of Grandma Pauline.

  11. Christy says:

    I am so with you on Survivor. You know the phrase “long time listener, first time caller” ? I’m a “long time watcher, first time ditcher” this season.
    And, Smash is dead to me. They have worn me out. Didn’t help that the lead in show…the Voice…has been lackluster for me, as well. Why oh why no Anthony Evans, Jr?!?

    Sounds like I might need a getaway from myself, too :) How many days till SEC football, anyway :)

  12. I too got teary-eyed when I saw the headline about Giuliana and Bill. Because I went through infertility, I know the heartache, and I wanted SO BADLY for them to have a baby! They seem like the best couple. They so deserve this happiness. I have been PRAYING for complete strangers! I pray she remains healthy, and, without a doubt, this baby will be SIMPLY ADORED by them and her family. Do you watch the show? I saw an E! Biography on her a couple of weeks ago. Her parents and her 2 siblings are just PRECIOUS! This is going to be one spoiled baby!

    Seriously, I asked my husband if he thought he was Donald Draper last night. (As a joke of course). He thinks it is the DUMBEST TV show on the planet, but he suffers through and watches it with me on Sunday nights:)

    OKAY…SERIOUSLY….are you wathcing SCANDAL!?!? Oh my word, BEST NEW SHOW ON TV!!! Watch it On Demand if you can! You have to watch it from the beginning or you will be UTTERLY CONFUSED! My husband, who hates all fictional television, is as obsessed with it as I am!

  13. girl you may be sick of you..but we aren’t no ma’me not one bit!! you keep on talking sista:)

    ooo bill and Giuliana i wept…they’ve been through so much, and im so hoping for a happy ending!!

    survivor.i dont know maybe its the fact that it is the 120th season…OVER IT!

    smash..confusion r us..tone it down writers… please and thanks

  14. Bill and Giuliana-oh I was/am so happy for them!

    Felt the same way about TNFNS!

    How about I saw the preview for the movie Battleship and it has BOTH Tim Riggins (with short military hair) AND Landry. And now that made me want to see a movie made for teenage and 20 something boys.

  15. I’m sick of me too. But never of you. Is there some way we could trade for a bit?

  16. Don’t feel bad….when I saw the clip of Guiliana and Bill finding out that they were gonna be parents, I think I almost went into the ugly cry! Love them and I don’t even know them!

  17. funny how easy it is to get sick of ourselves right? I love you lots, thought. Just thought you should know how much I enjoy you and your words and cant wait for your book!!!

  18. Never watched Survivor except in the very beginning however, am loving this season because of Kim due to knowing her heart:) Team Kim:)

  19. I missed you, too, Boomama! I doubt that I could ever be sick of you. But, if you figure out how to get away from you, please share just how you managed to do it. I’m sick of me, too!

  20. I sure did miss you. I hope your words flow freely soon! I know how it feels to be sick of your own self. Yuck! I hope you know we delight in you!

  21. Merri Jo says:

    It’s so good to have your ‘voice’ back here. As I read your post, (aside from the tv references) the song lyrics, “open my eyes, Lord, I want to see Jesus” came to mind. As I’ve been reading backwards through your blog (currently through 2011) it is so very evident that you have been used to touch so many lives in SO many ways. Isn’t it cool how you clearly are looking to be more like Him when you’re “sick of you” ?! YES! You are a real example of a godly woman to me, Sophie. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  22. Brenda in Georgia says:

    My daddy was a classmate of Trisha Yearwood’s daddy in college. Daddy would see her parents at their class reunions. He said they were the nicest, most down to earth people you could ever want to know. Love her show, too!

  23. Sophie, girl I get the ‘sick of myself’ thing. I get tired of me all the time and I’ve often looked for ways to break up with myself. Not found a thing yet. Will keep you posted.
    But Smash — love it, but agree with your view… focus, let’s just focus!
    And Mad Men, goodness YES.
    Also, on a fun aside… I’m out on Route 66 doing this great fun girlfriend thing and ran into Gordon Cooper’s (the ASTRONAUT!) wife. WHOA! Knew I’d meet some fun girls out here, but wow!

  24. We always watch Survivor, but this is the first season in quite awhile that we have just quit watching mid-season. Even Jeff couldn’t keep us entertained.

  25. I have just started reading your blog, having read several of your postings on Pioneer Woman’s site. You are a talented writer! I admit it caught my attention that you were from Mississippi, too, and I was curious about you. Like Ree, you make me laugh out loud and I like that! I look forward to reading more of your writings…hang in there with the writer’s block.

  26. Go ahead and be sick of yourself, for a time anyway. We will still love you through it all. And Giuliana is pregnant?? I had no idea.

  27. Missed you too! Love Smash, the music is outstanding. Can’t wait for your book!

  28. When you do get this book published, I had better be able to get hold of a copy in England…………and hoping there is a LOT of Martha-esque-ness in it.
    In fact I’d like to see you and Martha on a Book Tour.

  29. And I hope you have devoted an entire CHAPTER on the use of Stunt Pillows as Bedroom Decor……………

  30. 1. I may have never commented on your blog before…or I might have…I can not remember, but I do “follow” you and always look forward to your writing. I’m terrible at commenting since I read on google reader from my phone but please know that you’re “voice” is so entertaining to me. Thank you for all the effort you put into this.
    2. I live in Canada and am heading down south this summer for three months and have taken little tidbits from your blogs as places I must see.
    3. I feel similarly about Smash. I like it, I can not like it, I can enjoy it…and sometimes not.
    4. Survivor – I know, right? I tried, I really did…but this season, just couldn’t do it.
    5. I think I’m also too dependent on TV for decompression but at least you mentioned a sermon in your next point, so that has to mean something 
    6. I love when a pastor preaches and the message just crawls right up there – Oh that’s good! Especially when it comes out of no where and just connects.

  31. I love Mad Men so much. But a couple of the Don/Megan scenes have just been too weird. (Cleaning leads to the business? And then this recent episode with chasing her around the apartment? Weird) But I still love the show. The characters are just fascinating and some are total jerks but you still want them to be nice. I love it.

  32. Kimberly/OKC says:

    I just have one little comment regarding Tricia Yearwood’s new show…”Gartha Stewart”? Hilarious!