The Plans, They Have Failed

Monday night I didn’t get to watch The Bachelorette until late, so I figured I’d get up Tuesday morning and write a recap. I had so many thoughts, after all, what with Ryan telling Emily that she’d better not gain weight after they get married and Kalon essentially saying “SHUT IT” when Emily was trying to ask him a question, not to mention the interviews with Emily’s friends and DOLLY PARTON SANG A SONG, MY WORD.

Yesterday morning got away from me, though, mainly because our puppy girl (who is 14, by the way, but she’s still a puppy to us) had a vet appointment. She’s been little not-quite-herself lately, but we sort of figured that was to be expected since she’s, oh, pushing the century mark in people years. After about five minutes with the vet, though, I started to pick up on the fact that All Was Not Well. The doctor did some blood work and x-rays, and no kidding: within an hour they had her in surgery to remove a softball-sized tumor on her spleen.

Bless her heart. No wonder she hadn’t been herself lately.

Anyway, she did great after the surgery, and the vet feels really good about her recovery, but once she gets home she has to take it super-easy. I say that like she’s normally a wild woman, staying out until all hours of the night and setting a bad example for the other neighborhood dogs by smoking cigarettes and defying her authority figures. That’s not exactly the case considering that her life consists of alternating between the dog bed in our bedroom and the dog bed in the living room, with a little sunshine time in the driveway for good measure. But the vet said that Miss Ally needs to be a total couch potato for the next week, pampered even more than usual, and it was all I could do not to stand up and say, “Doctor, that is not a problem. I may have majored in English, but I minored in couch potato, and I will happily spend the next week introducing Ally to all the Real Housewives in all their respective cities.”

But I didn’t want to alarm him. So I just nodded and said, “Yes, sir.” That seemed like the path of least resistance.

Then.

After supper last night I decided that I really needed to get started on my Bachelorette recap, but not until I checked the Mississippi State message boards to see if there was any new information about the NCAA baseball regionals. Because, well, as a middle-aged wife and mama, it’s of the utmost importance that I keep my finger on the pulse of State’s pitching decisions for their round 1 game against Samford. Forget figuring out what I’m going to cook my family for supper and the shameful condition of my refrigerator and the fact that I have a huge deadline on July 1. The most pressing issue, CLEARLY, is if we’re planning to pitch Stratton or Graveman.

(Really, I am just an organizational wonder. I would offer to lead some seminars on my crackerjack efficiency strategies, only I’d forget to show up for the seminars the second that I got caught up in some captivating online discussion about SEC quarterbacks or I started pinning encouraging sayings (with cute graphics!) on Pinterest or (true story) I discovered a website that analyzes the wardrobe choices on each episode of Mad Men.)

SO, since baseball monopolized my attention last night, I went to bed thinking, TOMORROW. I will write about The Bachelorette tomorrow. Unfortunately, I had no way of knowing that our power was going to go out a little before midnight – and it’s still out. I don’t know what happened, but I do know that there are about five Alabama Power trucks in our neighborhood, along with a brand new hole that’s approximately the size of the Grand Canyon. I’m hopeful that the power / DVR / electrical everything will be fully operational soon, but in the meantime the little man and I are hanging out at our favorite Starbucks while I charge my computer.

And listen. If I could bottle the air conditioning at this Starbucks? I WOULD TAKE EVERY BIT OF IT HOME WITH ME.

So there you have it: my litany of excuses for not posting about The Bachelorette. My intentions were good, but our dog’s spleen / my adult-onset ADD / a late-night thunderstorm conspired against me. Even still, I’d love to know what y’all thought about the episode. Plus, reading your comments on my phone will give me a way to pass the late afternoon hours when I’m waiting for D to get home and trying to not think about how my house is a burning hot inferno of stuffiness.

(Something tells me that I’m going to have a whole new appreciation for Caroline Ingalls before the day is over.)

(I’ll let you know if I decide to cook supper in the fireplace.)

(But I can assure you that I will not be wearing any sort of bonnet.)

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Comments

  1. Oh, I liked Ryan until he started that weight talk. Goodbye Ryan, as far as I’m concerned. Sean is my new man. I don’t know how she will ever pick though because I think there are several great guys left. Poor Alesandro (however you spell it)…what in the world was he thinking??? She is certainly taking it all very seriously! I think she would have sent some more guys out the door if they hadn’t limited her!

    PS I’m going to Ree’s ranch this weekend! My husband won a grilling contest. I remember that you went there once ~ did you have to ride a horse? I’m scared! :)

  2. Lindsay says:

    Care to share the name of the Mad Men website? I may or may not have more time in my schedule for a new Internet time suck. Ha! :D

  3. Unfortunately, I have not been able to watch the Bachelor or Bachelorette since the Jake/Vienna Fiasco of 2010. but from what I’ve read, Emily sounds so downright delightful that I may just have to catch up.

  4. Caroline Ingalls lived in North Dakota, not Alabama. I’m just sayin’. It never gets to 100 there. :)

    This season is already a delightful train wreck. What woman doesn’t want to hear a man tell her to shush or that he considers her and her child a compromise? And bless his heart, I’m 98% certain that Arie didn’t know who Dolly Parton was until Emily told him.

    • Lisa K says:

      As a native South Dakotan, I must jump in with the correction that, while the Ingalls family lived in many places including Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Kansas, they settled in DeSmet, South Dakota. It was all the Dakota Territories then, but DeSmet is in now South Dakota (40 miles from where I grew up!). We are very particular that our states don’t get mixed up! And, alas for us, it does get up to 100 in both North and South Dakota…just not as often as in Alabama.

    • Actually Caroline Ingalls lived in Walnut Grove, MN. I, too, am a Minnesotan and while I lived down south (Minnesota) we went to see the Little House musical in Walnut Grove. They only had a sod hut there and it’s still basically there, in the ground. But yes, with all those clothes and a fire every day to cook the vittles and no fans and Yikes, no screens, life on the prairie had to be a bit stinky! Just sayin’. They moved to DeSmet, South Dakota from there. None of us up north here have long summers but rest assured it can get very hot and humid. I grew up without A/C and it was miserable most of the summer. No AC in the house, no AC in the cars – can you imagine?

      And Boo Mama, you are forgiven. I hope your puppy is well and happy and couch laying as we speak. The Emily saga continues but I think she has definitely made some mistakes, sending some home and keeping others (Kalon)!!! She has made it clear that the new “husband” had better also be a good father. (I still love Charlie but he’s kind of invisible).

      Hugs from Minnesota
      Marie

  5. Your life is so my life. Well, except for the no power and AC. Then again, that was me about a week or so ago. But the keeping up with MSU sports and the dog issue are all ME. We are kindred spirits.

    I need to send you some links on the Miss MS updates to cheer you even more. I’ll see what I can find and send to you!

  6. Jeanie says:

    I hope your wonderful dog will be okay and has many happy, tail-wagging years left. It’s no doubt a good thing you took her to the vet when you did. And can I tell you how happy I am that you opted for the surgery at her age? A dog lover, is what I am.

  7. Mollyanne says:

    Would you please share the Mad Men wardrobe website? Because clearly there are more of us who need to be spending time on such things.

    Also, I like Sean a lot but I really need to see more of Doug soon too. Preview scenes looked like he may be subjected to a 2-on-1 date next week. I cringe all the way through those unfortunate events every season.

  8. Cheryl says:

    Yes, I really expect Emily to send home Ryan and Kalon also….just clear the house…ha, ha….I love it….just get rid of the bulls**t…..good job Emily!!!!

  9. And jinx to Lisa K. We must have been writing at the same time. I always wanted to travel to DeSmet and see the musical there, but have never made it. There is also a small museum in Walnut Grove as I am sure there is in DeSmet. Lucky you! And for your kids – it keeps it alive. I still watch Little House when I get a chance and it’s still always good. But then again I also watch the Waltons – another good ‘un!! Pioneer stories have always been my very favorite, and I devoured them as a kid at the school library.

    Hugs from Minnesota
    Marie

  10. Victoria says:

    Please share the Mad Men website!!

  11. Now that I have found out about this Mad Men website, I will probably be very busy for the rest of the night (or week). I’m pretty sure my family doesn’t thank you for that – but I do, so it is all okay.

    Hope your power has been restored. I’ve toughed out several hurricanes, so the loss of power has hit me, and it always stinks. (as does your refrigerator if you forget that you had steaks in there before the power went out for three days, but that is an entirely different story)

  12. I’m so impressed with all the people that know so much about Caroline Ingalls. All I know is that my girls were on a Little House kick Monday (our internet was down so no Netflix) and we watched the episode where Caroline is home alone and cuts her leg on a wire and it gets infected and she very nearly cuts it off because she reads a Bible verse about if thy foot offend you…

    Praying Miss Ally feels better soon and you get your power back!

  13. Colleen says:

    Oh, BooMama – your posts never cease to make my day. Please don’t ever stop. :)

  14. My cousin got married in the Samford U. chapel this past weekend. We rode past a Steinmart and I wondered, “Is that BooMama’s Steinmart?” I realize now that I am a big fan when I am looking at stores in such a way. Love your town. :-)

  15. Brenda says:

    Okay, I don’t watch the Batchlorette, but I do know a little about a)Little House, and 2) 100 degree heat.

    I grew up in Southwest Missouri, which is where Laura Wilder settled with Manly. She wrote all the Little House books in Mansfield, MO, where I can promise you, it gets over 100 quite a few days (somtimes a lot of days) every summer. It’s also redonkulusly humid in Southwest MO in the summer time, so, trust me, it’s not a dry heat. Laura knew of 100 heat for sure.

    But here’s the thing, I bet if Nels had put a new fangled air conditioner in the Cafe, Charles would have suggested they go to town and eat there on those 100 degree evenings. I think you have her permission to take off your bonnet, saddle up the buggy, grab the young’un and git to town. Or, at least your local cafe.

  16. Awe get well, Puppy Girl!

  17. Every one of your reasons is 100% legit for not posting. I hope your sweet dog recovers well.

    Here is my biggest takeaway from Monday’s show….why does Emily find Chris so attractive. He reminds me of Frankenstein with pretty eyes. I’m just not understanding how he is such a draw for her. I foresee robotic times ahead, which I find very unromantic.

    I love Arie. Love him. She should just quit the show now and run off with him…though that would make for a boring season.

    Also loving Sean and thought he was more awesome than I have ever personally experienced from an insurance agent.

    Can’t wait to hear your favorite!

    • I totally agree! I don’t get her attraction to Chris at all. It threw me off too when he told her he was only 25…he does act much older. Sean and Arie are my favorites right now but I would like to see more of Doug as well.

  18. Bachelorette — oh my. That discussion requires a long lunch and some serious discussion over queso.
    Now on to the important part of this post — what is this Mad Men clothing discussion website?

  19. I hope Miss Ally is feeling better!

    As for The Bachelorette, I get that they have to keep Kalon because he brings the drama, but after he gave Emily the “zippit”, it’s quite unbelievable that she finds him even remotely attractive, so maybe they should’ve edited that part out. That being said, the 3 that went home HAD. TO. GO. Creepy, Creepier, & Creepiest.

    Long live Nate!

  20. Kimberly/OKC says:

    Tho I am not a fan of Kalon, I began to not like Doug when he repeatedly told Kalon to stop what he was saying and to “check it” while they were at the pool. Those words have become me and my daughters “go to” phrase!