Yesterday I painted all day. Well, I painted during all the parts of the day when I wasn’t playing the Where’s My Perry? game (so delightfully addictive) or watching a certain reunion special on Bravo. But I painted A LOT. And while I was painting, I was good with the color. I recognized that the apple green was on the bright side, but unlike the mint-y green that’s been on the cabinets, there was nothing wishy-washy about the apple green.
And yesterday, at least, I appreciated that.
But this morning I got out of bed and walked in the kitchen and before I even knew what came over me, I said, “OH, NO. NOOOOOOO.” I said it a couple of times. And I meant it, too.
Because in the morning light, the apple green color is, well, neon-esque in its intensity. It’s just too much. Plus, in the spots where the apple green bumps up against the blue walls, it looks like I’ve tried to paint my kitchen to look like a nursery. Or at the very least a room that overstimulates four year-olds to ear-splitting levels of excitement.
I told myself to give it a few hours to see if the color calmed down, but I barely made it past lunch before I 911-texted my friend Bubba (who is an interior designer and not really named Bubba) and begged him to stage a cabinet color intervention. Bubba understands my tendency to get a little over-enthusiastic with my colors, which is why, when D and I bought our first house eleventy hundred years ago, Bubba mailed me a list of paint colors that he recommended. The colors were gorgeous, of course – very muted and rich and neutral – and I followed Bubba’s suggestions to the letter. I actually only fell off the Responsible Paint Color Selection Wagon twice when we were living in that house: once when I painted large stripes in our bedroom, unintentionally creating the effect of a carnival, and again when our dog went into labor in the back bedroom and I responded to the canine medical drama by painting my kitchen purple while my neighbor tended to the animals.
The puppies turned out way cuter than the kitchen, by the way.
Anyway, the long and the short of it is that the Apple Green Cabinet Experiment of 2012 is now drawing to a close. It was a tender time with some hard lessons. I took a chance, and it didn’t work out. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I won’t be walking through the grocery store next week and suddenly decide that my life won’t be complete if I don’t paint my bathroom a shade of coral that leans toward orange, but this particular citron-colored chapter of my decorative life is over.
I understand if you feel that you may require some time to adequately grieve and process this development. I know that the apple green option was wildly popular with approximately four of you. It’s to be expected that it may take awhile for us to get our emotional bearings again.
Fingers crossed, though, that I’ve gotten this round of Impulsive Decorative Disorder out of my system. I don’t want to move too quickly – there’s some healing that needs to happen, of course – but I’m ready to get some new paint and finish these cabinets. My apple green aims were honest, mind you, but like Randy Travis sings, “I hear tell that the road to OH MY WORD THAT’S THE TACKIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN is paved with good intentions.”
Or something like that.
So just as soon as I gaze lovingly at the apple green cabinets and shed a single tear, I’m going to grab some sandpaper, rub off the tacky, and move on.
It’s the right thing to do.
(Feel free to begin playing some inspirational music.)
(I’ve always been partial to the theme from Chariots of Fire).
(But any of the Rocky themes would be totally appropriate as well.)