Well, we have been watching the Olympics pretty much non-stop for the last three nights, and I am here to tell you that there is nothing to make you realize how much time you’ve wasted over the course of your life like watching world-class athletes in action. Right now the American women’s gymnastics team is competing, and thinking about how young they are and how many years they’ve spent in the gym makes me hyper-aware that I have spent WAY too many hours watching reality television and eating bacon. At the very least I should have been perfecting my cartwheel or maybe doing some light stretching on a semi-regular basis. Shoot, maybe I should just tape a four-inch strip down the center of our hallway and try to skip down it without falling.
That last thing, by the way? Would take YEARS of training.
However, I recognize that the Lord gifts all of us in different ways, and I trust that even though I lack any significant athletic skills, He has filled my gaps. And that is why, after careful consideration and no small degree of prayer, I do think that there are several areas where I could possibly compete on an Olympic level.
I hope that you know my heart well enough to know that I offer this list in all humility.
1. Real Housewives of New York trivia (related: Bethenny Getting Married and Bethenny Ever After trivia)
2. cowbell ringing
3. bacon frying
4. Top 40 duets of the late-80s / early 90s (lyric memorization, not singing)
5. Steinmart shopping
6. DVR’ing (all facets: searching, recording, watching, erasing)
7. fried chicken sampling and analysis
To be clear, I have not in fact consulted with any professionals, but I am certainly willing to consider more rigorous training under the supervision of a coach and/or mentor.
What about you? What are the areas where you feel qualified to compete on an Olympic level? Carpooling? Baby wrangling? Plant killing? Home hair coloring?
Please feel free to share your own gifts and talents.
This is a safe place.
I can assure you that you will be encouraged.