I’m at the beach for a few days, trying to catch up on some writing, and I brought Hazel with me so that I’d have a little bit of company. What this means is that I’ve spent most of today looking at some variation of this –
– which means that I’ve had to dig deep in the chew toy treasure chest that I brought down here with us. It hasn’t helped that it’s stormed all day long, so I couldn’t take Hazel outside for longer than about five minutes because 1) rain and 2) wind. I wish I’d taken a picture of her early this morning when the wind was whipping off of the Gulf like crazy; she didn’t not understand that particular natural phenomenon and finally just sat down in the grass and looked at me like, “NO MA’AM – I AM NOT A FAN OF THIS.”
However, I am happy to report that she’s sleeping now. And I think we can all agree that IT IS ABOUT TIME.
Since it’s just gonna be Hazel and me for the next couple of days, I have approximately zero plans to do a lot of cooking. That is why I arrived here armed with plenty of cheese and crackers. I’ll throw a rotisserie chicken or some sliced turkey in the mix every now and again, but by and large it’s gonna be cheese, crackers, and probably some roasted asparagus because heaven forbid that I go more than three days without an asparagus fix. That would be terrible.
Anyway, there are three kinds of crackers in attendance with Hazel and me (no, wait – there are four if you count the good, old-fashioned Triscuits), so I thought I’d highlight the pros and cons of each since I spent the last hour telling Hazel to quit trying to bite my toes and I’m really starting to doubt if I’ll ever finish the chapter I’m working on.
(This is one of those situations where I’m making light of it but seriously questioning my judgment in terms of bringing a puppy on a writing trip.)
(It has been a lot of barking, y’all.)
(So I’m going to talk about crackers in the hopes of lowering my blood pressure.)
(If talking about crackers doesn’t work, I may try to scrounge up a nerve pill.)
1. Blue Diamond Almond Nut Thins – Smokehouse
These crackers really do taste like the Blue Diamond Smokehouse Almonds. It’s the same smoky flavor, and while they’re a little bland on their own, they’re delicious with any sort of spinach-artichoke combo. They’re also really good with parmesan cheese. I like this type of cracker a lot (a sesame or nut thin), and these don’t have the weird flavor that some of them do.
Will I buy them again? Yes.
2. Crunchmaster Multi-Grain Crackers – Sea Salt
First of all, I can’t help but be tickled when a cracker’s brand name is Crunchmaster, and these crackers definitely live up to the name. They’re great for dipping but even better with cheese, and they’re a perfect cheese ball cracker (yes, there is such a thing) because they’re on the smaller side and don’t crumble. Every time I serve these, people comment on how good they are and want to know where they can buy them. I’m assuming that there are other flavors, but I don’t think I’ve seen them at the Publix.
Will I buy them again? Yes.
3. Cheez-It Grooves Zesty Cheddar Ranch
I bought these crackers on a whim because, well, I am powerless over a new Cheez-It product. I normally don’t like anything Ranch flavored (other than Ranch dressing, of course – and those Snyder Buttermilk Ranch pretzel bits) because it always tends to taste so artificial, but I took a chance on these because like the old John Lennon song says, “Give Cheeze-It a chance.” Or something like that. Unfortunately, though, I really don’t care for these (grieves me to say it, it does). They taste almost fruity to me (maybe I’m drinking too much Crystal Light while I’m here?), and I can’t imagine wanting to dip them in anything. I’m just a Cheez-It purist, I think.
Will I buy them again? No.
So there you have it – my deep thoughts about crackers. And in all seriousness, I sure would appreciate your prayers over the next few days. I’m not sure if lots of writing, lots of rain, and an active puppy are the most ideal mix. But if Hazel will cooperate and I can knock out a couple of chapters, I’ll let her have ALL the crackers before we go home.
Not really. But I will get her a new chew toy. And surely that will be at least as good.